Para Language

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Leading the Leaders of Tomorrow
6th Annual International Conference
Peter Batty
Introductions:
• Who you are
• Where you work
• One thing you really enjoy about what
you do
Effective Communication
Effective communicators share four
characteristics.
They….
Effective Communication
Effective communicators share four characteristics.
They:
• are aware of their behaviour - they know what behaviours
they are using and how effective they are being
• are in control of their behaviour - they tend to choose
their communication behaviour consciously and deliberately
• have options – they choose between a range of possible
ways of behaving according to the demands of the situation
• are flexible – they can adapt their behaviour during
interactions according to the responses they are getting
from other people
Effective
communication
INTERACTIVE
CHOICES
MOTIVATION
MINDSET
CLIMATE
The OK Corral
I’M NOT OK
YOU’RE OK
(- +)
Characteristics: Feelings of inadequacy
and powerlessness, withdrawal,
undervaluing of own skills and abilities,
running away from problems
I’M NOT OK
YOU’RE NOT OK
(- -)
Characteristics: Hopelessness, sense of
getting nowhere, “why bother”, cynicism,
stubbornness, obstinacy, sense of glee
when things go wrong.
I’M OK
YOU’RE OK
(+ +)
Characteristics: Mutual respect,
collaboration, constructive approach to
problems and disagreements, optimism,
confidence, refusal to put self or
others down.
I’M OK
YOU’RE NOT OK
(+ -)
Characteristics: Smugness, superiority,
competitive regardless of effect on others,
will put others down, hostility, looking for
errors by others.
The Okay Corral
• What is your default position?
• What are the triggers that push you there – and
the signals that this is happening?
• What strategies do you use to get back to
I’m OK You’re OK?
Effective
communication
INTERACTIVE
CHOICES
MOTIVATION
MINDSET
CLIMATE
Maslow’s
Hierarchy
of Needs
Self
Actualisation
Ego &
Self Esteem
Social Needs
Security & Safety Needs
Physiological Needs - Basic Survival
Physiological
Security/Safety
Social
Ego & Self Esteem
Self Actualisation
Food, Shelter, Warmth
Pension, Job, Health
Belonging, Friendship
Recognition, Respect, Status
Growth, Development, Achievement
Effective
communication
INTERACTIVE
CHOICES
MOTIVATION
MINDSET
CLIMATE
INTERACTIVE CHOICES
Body Language
Spoken Language
(your gestures,
expression etc)
(the words you use)
Para Language
(the use of your
voice)
Listening and
using silence
INTERACTIVE CHOICES
Body Language
55%
Para Language
38%
Spoken Language
7%
Listening and
using silence
INTERACTIVE CHOICES
Body Language
Spoken Language
Stance / Posture
Tell/ask balance
Direction
Clarifying behaviour
Proximity
Level and balance of
reaction
Eye contact
Gesture
Facial expression
Structuring
Initiating ideas
Para Language
Listening,
Tone / Pitch
silence…
Volume
…and
Speed
interruption
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