Rouse 1
Kenedy Rouse
Mrs. Walroth
ARC
12 November 2013
A Nightmare
"What're they doing mommy?" My sister asked as the officers in blue suits were pushing
the Polish into groups, gibbering something in Russian ("What Was Life").
"It's okay sweetie," my mother answered.
I could tell it wasn't okay, it seemed like it was the farthest thing from okay. Why had the
soviets taken us from our house? What did they want with us? None of it made sense to me, and
I could see fear building up in my mother's eyes.
"Next!" the officer, who I had heard being called Gutenberger, shouted looking at my
family.
My sister, Anna, looked like she was about to cry. I couldn't blame her though, how was
a seven year old supposed to react to a situation like this, when I couldn't even understand it
myself? Gutenberger rudely shoved my mother into a line of people who seemed equally
distressed as us. Assuming he would shove Anna and I next, I followed my mother before he
could put his hands on me. He muttered something else in Russian and nudged Anna and I into a
separate line. Mother’s eyes widened and Anna began fussing. Oh no, I kept repeating to myself.
I hadn't prepared myself for this being the last time seeing my mother.
Anna clung to me the whole way leading to wherever they were taking us. We passed
multiple signs that had Russian slang on them. One read "Auschwitz." I hadn't known what it
meant, nor was I as curious as I should have been. More and more officers seemed to have
Rouse 2
appeared, and the more everyone around me started to panic ("Holo. Enc."). Gutenberger tossed
an axe to me and motioned to a stack of trees that had been previously cut down. He nodded his
head in disgust and pointed at the trunks. I, with multiple others, walked toward to the stack in
confusion. Those around me began chopping, had they understood Russian? I soon followed,
seeming to struggle. I had never been the strongest, or the fittest. I glanced over at Anna who had
been directed to a nearby field. I panicked at the thought of losing sight of her. Skimming the
field I saw the back of her long, golden hair that had been braided into a long tail laying down
her back. I saw her little hands digging away at the dirt hole that she was sitting in (Burman). A
blue coated officer was hovering over her, signaling her directions that I couldn't quite make out.
Distracted from my chopping, I felt a light tap on the back of my scalp. Irritated, I turned around
grasping my head to look into the barrels of a long, black rifle in the hands of the officer. My
mood went from annoyed to terrified in a matter of seconds. He didn't need to say anything for
me to soon realize that I needed to immediately get back to my chopping, without any
hesitations. Doing so, I lifted the axe and felt the pain going through my arms and my back, I
was already sore and exhausted. I knew Anna must have been struggling too, she was just a little
girl. So young and helpless.
The sun had set, and it chilled down quite a bit. We had been at this for hours, and the
officers were inside a nearby cabin. I could see smoke coming from the chimney, and I could
hear laughter coming from inside. Right as I started on a new tree trunk the door to the cabin
opened. Six officers, all holding rifles, split up between the diggers and the tree choppers. I
couldn't hear what the officer had shouted, but I followed the group to where he lead us. By now
we were all together, and I felt Anna tug at my hand. I gave her a quick squeeze and dare not let
go of her. No words were exchanged, challenging each other not to cry. It was then that I noticed
Rouse 3
how many people were following. I looked all around, at least hundreds, most likely thousands
of people were marching behind me. All with fearful eyes, jittery mouths, and shivering limbs. I
was so focused on Anna that I hadn't noticed how many people were put to work, how many
people were taken like us. ("Ausch. Conc."). Where had they taken mother?
It wasn't long before we were brought to a barn looking shack. Wooden pieces were
missing from the right side, some dangling throughout the whole thing. Rows and rows and rows
of wooden barracks were standing. They looked like they could topple over at any second, the
wood rotted (Burman). We were rushed inside, the officers irritated at any sense of hesitation.
Inside stood three tier wooden bunks. Not very large at all, they hadn’t expected us to lay in their
did they? The barrack had smelt of something rotten, something far from enjoyable. People
continued to file in the barrack, until we were shoulder to shoulder with those surrounding. They
couldn’t possibly fit more people in here. Just as the last few people were shoved in the barrack,
the tall wooden door was shut, eliminating just the little bit of light that had poked through
(Burman). Hand in hand with Anna, I lifted her above me to the top bunk. I crawled in behind
her and two more people had followed me.
Claustrophobia was an understatement. The holes in the walls were a perfect entrance for
the harsh winds (Burman). I felt the coldness creep up on my back. I hovered over Anna,
knowing that she was chilled. Hours passed before everyone was situated as comfortable as was
allowed. The fussing began to die down as well, but I lay flat on my back staring at the wood
only a foot above my head that propped up the bunk above me. I could make out the cobwebs
stuck in the wood, overstretching all of the mold. Anna fell asleep on my shoulder, and the two
others sharing our bunk had dozed off, too. I must be stuck in a dream, I kept thinking. I didn’t
know much, only being fourteen, but I knew enough that this wasn’t going to be an easy ride.
Rouse 4
I had overheard Mother and Papa talking in the kitchen a couple weeks back, before we
were taken. Their conversations weren’t calm, and I knew that we had things to worry about.
They rambled on about the war, that’s all I had heard about for months now ("Holo. Enc."). I
expected this, I knew the war had threatened us, but I didn’t think that it would lead to this. I
kept repeating their words in my head that I had heard that night. I couldn’t comprehend why
Hitler disliked us Jews so badly ("Holo. Enc."). His hatred for sure couldn’t have turned into this,
could it? Besides, we aren’t bad people. We’ve never done anything to him, my family would
never hurt a fly. Neither would anyone else in Poland, so I had always thought.
I lost myself in my thoughts and awoke the next morning, not remembering when
exactly I had fallen asleep the night before. My back ached and my neck cracked. My arms were
sore from swinging the axe and my shoulders were stiff. I looked over and Anna was staring
back at me.
"Mary I'm hungry," she said desperately.
I hadn't realized how hungry I was until my stomach started growling. It seemed almost
impossible feeding each and every one of us, but they had to do it somehow, we would starve to
death. I lost my appetite at the horrifying smell that the barrack now consisted of. Leaping off of
my bunk, I almost stepped in human waste ("Ausch. Conc."). My stomach turned and I felt a pit
in my throat. Urinating outside seemed much more sanitary than this. That's where Anna and I
had gone last night.
The barracks consisted of only half of us at this time of morning. I ran to the tall wooden
door that had led outside. Anna at my hip, we could see everyone else doing the same work that
we were put to yesterday. The little ones digging, the elderly chopping. Officers were still
Rouse 5
patrolling, and one had spotted my head peeking out of the door. With a grin, he walked over to
us. He pointed the rifle to the positions that we were at yesterday.
"But sir we're hungry," I said as patiently as I could, holding back my frustrations.
"Work, then food," he answered.
I was thankful for the broken English that he had spoke, but that didn't stop my stomach
from rumbling. Not having much choice, I hugged Anna before she ran over to her holes. I
moped over to the stack of tree trunks and joined the others. Food, I repeated in my head. Work,
then I could eat.
Several hours later my hands began to callus. I was in excruciating pain. I looked around
me and everyone else had slowed down their pace, catching their breath. They were just as beat
and just as hungry as I was. I kept the distance between Anna and I very minimal. I glanced over
in her direction frequently to keep an eye on her. She had seemed alright, but I knew her little
body wouldn't have much energy left in her for long.
The sky turned from a pale blue into a faded purple and orange. The sun was sinking and
I couldn't bare any more work for the day. Just as I was about to take a seat on a log,
Gutenberger came over and ordered us to form a line outside the main cabin. Hopeful, I grabbed
Anna by the wrist and we made our way to the front of the barracks. Hundreds of people were
already lined up, one by one.
We stood in the line for almost an hour when I could finally see far enough ahead to the
cabin entrance. One by one officers were handing out small rations of bread to each of us. My
mouth watered and I became anxious to reach the front. Finally, Anna and I had accepted our
bread and began walking back to the barrack. I began to nibble off of mine when I saw that Anna
had already finished hers off. The poor thing, putting so much time and effort throughout the day
Rouse 6
to tasks that we hadn't known the purpose of. I ripped my piece in half and handed it to her. She
appreciated it greatly and ate this one much slower.
We were soon back in our bunk and I had just finished eating my ration. It made my
stomach quiet down, but that wasn't near enough to satisfy my hunger. Anna's stomach was
smaller than mine and I knew even she wasn't content. What a tease, I bitterly thought to myself.
I didn't know how much longer I could physically and mentally put up with this.
Days, weeks, months passed. One slow and painful day after another. The nights felt
colder and the days dragged on longer. We were put to work all day, everyday. Only receiving
one small bread ration a day, my stomach grew smaller. Anna's limbs had become more frail.
Her hair turned from a golden to a muddy brown. Everyone around me had grown awfully pale.
The stench from the barracks was unbearable. It seemed as though the amount of people amongst
the barracks got lower and lower.
There was only one other person sharing our bunk now. I spotted the other man in our
bunk a few weeks back hiding behind a tree, starved. His bones stuck out from every wear and
his eyes were sunken in. His breaths were short and his blinking was slow. That was the last I
saw of him.
Just last week a disease broke out in the barrack next to us. I think people were referring
to it as scurvy, but I hadn't really known what that was exactly. I was thankful it wasn’t in our
barrack though, because from the sounds of it people were dying off by the day due to its harsh
conditions. Sometimes at night while laying in my bunk, I would look out the cracks of the
broken wood and see fragile bodies being tossed out of the scurvy infested barrack ("Ausch.
Conc.").
Rouse 7
Officers grew more violent and impatient. I heard at least four gunshots every day from
where I was chopping wood. Too petrified to look, I focused more and chopped faster. There
was still no sign of mother, and the last I saw Papa was on the train car over from where we
were, on our way here. I prayed every night and wished upon every star I could count in the sky.
My fears were growing so abruptly that I couldn't even stay strong for Anna anymore. She had
seemed okay lately. Of course, okay was another way of saying she was hanging in there the best
she could. She grew quiet over the last few months, only speaking when I spoke to her. On good
nights I would cuddle her in our bunk and tell her stories that she could fall asleep to. Once in a
while I would catch her muttering in her sleep, it always being something about Mother and
Papa. If I got lucky, I wouldn't find her hysterically crying in the latest parts of the night. People
grew grouchy, and became expectantly selfish. No one was willing to assist each other any more.
It became that every man was for himself, and things weren't going to change.
The only energy I had left in me came from the high hope that I would soon go home.
Day after day, night after night, it took everything in me just to walk. My stomach felt like it was
eating itself. The lice coming from my hair made my whole body itchy and uncomfortable
("Holo. Enc."). By now I had attended to a variety of labor, all being equally draining.
Bodies eliminated from the barrack and less people stood at the work podium. Officers
still enjoyed their fresh stew and warmth from the fire, laughing over a game of cards every
night. I was more worried for Anna now a days than I had been myself. She was my purpose to
push on and keep calm. Without her high spirit and energy I had nothing. She got used to going
through the motions of her digging and collecting her ration. However, like most, she was
slower, weaker, and sicker.
Rouse 8
I noticed her itching at her ribs just this morning and I lifted up the side of her shirt.
There were red, irritated spots down the right side of her body. I felt so helpless. I had no
medication, there was no doctor, and certainly the officers weren't going to help her. My
heartbeat grew faster and I could feel the tears forming. I held onto her tight and prayed. I
refused to let her see me worried, but I almost couldn't hide it. I nurtured her the best that I could,
remembering the little things Mother used to do to me when I was under the weather. The look in
her eyes said that she wanted to give up. I cheered her up by telling her a story before we were
sent to to work. I held her in my arms and whispered the words into her ear. I could feel her
heartbeat against my chest, she was so innocent. I finished the story and saw a small grin on her
tiny, terrified face. I held her hand all the way to the door. I didn't want to let her go, but we were
forced to part ways to do our daily work.
I just wanted to get through the day so that I could receive my bread ration, and give it to
Anna. Perhaps that will make her a bit stronger, hopefully strong enough to fight off the scurvy. I
started chopping the wood, trying not to choke up. I pushed the images of Mother and Papa out
of my head, they were only slowing me down. I glanced over at the diggers looking for Anna. I
skimmed over the area and couldn't seem to point her out. I put down my axe and looked harder.
Still no sight of her, I set my axe down and began to walk over to where she should've been. As I
got closer I could make out a tiny figure laying down, halfway in the hole that had been dug. I
saw Anna's braided hair and knew exactly that it was her. I immediately broke out into a sprint to
where I saw her laying. I came to my knees beside the hole, to find Anna painfully laying there
with her eyes shut.
"Oh no," I said out loud.
Rouse 9
No no no no, was all that went through my head. I could see her chest slowly moving up
and down, appreciative that she was still breathing. She started violently coughing, and green
bile crept out of the corners of her mouth. I lifted her shirt again and the spots had spread
throughout her whole stomach and onto her legs. Her pale skin had turned into a shade of light
purple.
"Help! Somebody! We need a doctor!" I shouted throughout the camp, tears inevitably
pouring down my cheeks.
I looked up and no one had made a sudden move. An elderly woman looked over shaking
her head. We both knew that her help would be no use. I looked at the officers and their
emotions hasn't changed from their permanent evil grins. I looked back at Anna's face and kissed
her forehead at least a dozen times. Her eyes remained shut, frequently coughing in between her
short breathes. I gathered her limp body into my arms and began rocking her. I whispered in her
ear how much I loved her. I told her how brave she was and how her strength inspired me. And
that was true of course, her courage was above those of normal seven year olds. What was my
purpose now, what now will keep be going through these bitter times?
I longed for home. I missed the warmth from Papa when he hugged me. Now I wouldn't
even mind the feeling of his callused hands from working in the coal mill. I just wanted to bury
myself into the coziness of our couch, one so worn out because we couldn't afford a nice one, but
now it wouldn't even bother me. I craved my mothers home cooked meals so badly that I could
almost taste her homemade bread by just imagining it. Sometimes I was frustrated with the fact
that mother stayed at home while Papa worked from morning till night, but now I would give
anything to have her company that often ("What Was Life"). Now I'd clean when she told me to
clean, I'd take care of Anna without fussing when she was busy with dinner, now I wouldn't
Rouse 10
hesitate. I hadn't known that this was going to turn into a never ending nightmare. A nightmare
so dreadful and delusional, a nightmare that would suck the life out of me, a nightmare that I
couldn't escape.
Rouse 11
Works Cited
“Auschwitz Concentration Camp.” Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 8 Nov. 2013. Web. 11
Nov. 2013.
Burman, Elie. “Auschwitz-Birkenau: Living Conditions, Labor & Executions.” Living
Conditions, Labor & Executions. American - Israeli Cooperative Enterprise, n.d. Web. 11
Nov. 2013.
“Holocaust Encyclopedia.” United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. United States Holocaust
Memorial Museum., 10 June 2013. Web. 12 Nov. 2013.
“What Was Life in America Like in the 1940s?” Wikianswers. Answers, 17 Apr. 2011. Web. 12
Nov. 2013.