Lessons on Writing Effective Sentences Part VIII:
Exergasia and Britney Spears
Instruction
An essential part of the ancient Greek writing pedagogy that prepared students to perform
orations was the progymnasmata. One classical exercise in the progymnasmata was the
exergasia (from Greek, ex, “out” and ergon, “work,” literally a “working out,” or a “workout”).
Students used the exergasia to practice transforming an idea from one form of expression into
another by changing the words, the genre, or the delivery. In the process, ancient students
learned how to add variation, amplification, clarity, punctuation, style, and emphasis to old
ideas to make them new. The exergasia is an excellent, well, exercise in forming creative
sentences and making connections between sentences.
The Exercise
(Note: to do this activity, students need to bring song lyrics or the teacher needs to provide the
lyrics for the class.)
Get into groups of three—no more than three! Read the song lyrics together quickly to get a
feel for the language, its themes and texture. Then as a group, rewrite the lyrics into complete
prose sentences and paragraphs using punctuation and metadiscourse (like transitional
phrases). Use semicolons or colons to add emphasis, but make sure each sentence is complete
(i.e., if you put two independent clauses together, make sure you have a semicolon or a comma
with a coordinating conjunction).
Try to tie the sentences together using one of the following methods:
1. add transitions to the beginning, middle or ending of sentences (like besides, for
instance, also, in the same manner, but, however, on the other hand, in other words, in
fact, therefore, after before, meanwhile, consequently, as a result, for this reason,
although, as long as, as soon as, because, before, even though, if, provided that, since,
so that, though, till, until, when, whenever, whereas, while);
2. use coordination (and, but, or, nor, so, for, yet);
3. use introductory phrases or subordinate clauses to make simple sentences more
complex (e.g., using words like although, because, after, before at the beginning of
sentences); or,
4. use dashes to set off parenthetical phrases in the middle of sentences or at the end of
sentences to add emphasis.
Feel free to add extra words or phrases to add mood, tone, clarification or style but do not
change the essential meaning of the text. Write your sentences in paragraphs to group ideas
together in interesting new ways. As a group, write as much as you can in the short time we
have for the exercise. Be prepared to read your paragraphs to the class.
An Example
Lyrics from “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” by Britney Spears
[First Verse]
I used to think
I had the answers to everything
But now I know
Life doesn't always
Go my way, yeah...
Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize...
[Chorus]
I'm not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
An exergasia of Britney:
At one point1, I thought I had the answers to everything, but2 now I know that life,
regrettably3, doesn’t always go my way—4and, boy, do I know it! In fact5, sometimes when I
feel like I’m caught in the middle6, it all becomes clear:7 though I’m not a girl8, I’m not a woman
either. All I need, really, is time—9just a moment that I can call my own—while I’m in between
those two stages of maturation10.
1
Introductory phrase
Coordinating conjunction separating two independent clauses
3
Parenthetical phrase to add mood
4
Dash to set off and emphasize parenthetical phrase
5
Transitional phrase to give an example
6
subordinating (or dependent) clause
7
Colon to make a statement that is anticipated from the preceding independent clause
8
another subordinating clause
9
A pair of dashes to set off a parenthetical statement for dramatic effect
10
rewording the vague phrase “while I’m in between” for the heck of it
2