Jane Evans
Trauma Parenting Specialist
Confidentiality
Respect
Timekeeping
Safeguarding
One at a time
“The only stupid question is the one that isn’t asked”
No ‘experts’
Use it or lose it!
Mobiles - keep them off if possible!
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
2
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Be curious, question, explore
Discuss and contribute - with
anyone/everyone here
Make notes
Use this as a springboard to find out
more & embed into practice
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
3
Parenting is not just about
parents, but anyone who
has a role in raising children carers, extended family,
friends, professionals,
organisations,
community members ...
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
4
 Today
could be…?
 Because…..?
 I will give myself
permission
to…
© Jane parenting & behaviour
skills consultancy
Thirty per cent of domestic violence starts in
pregnancy and between four and nine women in
every hundred are abused during their
pregnancy and/or after birth
(Department of Health 2005: para. 2.4)
© Jane parenting & behaviour
skills consultancy
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Around 750,000 children a year are exposed
to domestic violence and there will be children
affected by it in nearly every school
(Department of Health 2002: 16)
A study of children & mothers exposed to
violence found:
 85% of children were present while their
mothers were being abused some in way
 In 71% of families, children saw their mothers
being physically assaulted
(McGee 2000: 66)
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Pre-birth stress can lead to a foetus
experiencing raised levels of stress hormones
via the placenta
Severe maternal stress during pregnancy is
associated with prematurity, low birth weight,
and infants who are irritable, hyperaroused and
colicky
(Levy & Orlans, 1998)
Research and observation have demonstrated
significance of the in utero experience.
Maternal emotional, as well as physical,
messages are transmitted to the feotus.
(Verny & Kelly 1981 in Levy & Orlans, 1998)
© Jane Evans Parenting and Behaviour Skills
Consultancy
11
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Brain is put together like building blocks from
bottom upwards
The normal development of top part of brain
depends upon healthy development of lower
brain
Top part of brain is most able to be changed,
as it’s where the thinking occurs
© Jane parenting & behaviour
skills consultancy
Early experiences shape structures
in ways that have a lifelong impact
on three of our most vital areas of
learning:
attachment, emotional regulation
and self-esteem.
Cozolino, 2013
© Jane parenting & behaviour
skills consultancy
These 3 areas of learning establish
our abilities to connect with
others, cope with stress, and feel
that we have value.
Cozolino, 2013
© Jane parenting & behaviour
skills consultancy
 Mental
& physical health
 Access to education
 Vulnerability
 Challenging behaviours
 Inter generational domestic
abuse
What issues do parents present post
domestic abuse around:
 Children’s
behaviour
 Their relationship with their children
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Emotional
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Practical
Emotional
Practial
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
24
“You may have to put your child on the Naughty
Step ten times in half an hour, but eventually he
will realise you are serious and stay put.”
http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-andReward/Make-the-Naughty-Step-Work-for-You.aspx
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
25
My dad always smacked me and
it didn’t do me any harm
They need to earn their rewards
I took her Nintendo, PlayStation,
TV & DVD away last night
Parent’s have gone too soft
It was never like this when I was
a kid
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
26
“Maclean’s (1990) concept of the triune brain is a
useful starting point……. He distinguished the
reptilian brain, the limbic system, and the
neocortex”
Music, G (2011)
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
32
http://www.esotericonline.net/profiles/blogs/the-dragons-of-eden
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
33
Forming pre-birth, regulates heart rate,
breathing, temperature, sleep, hunger, instinctual
behaviours, life preserving – flight fight freeze
friend flop
© Jane parenting & behaviour
skills consultancy
0-4 developmental focus, memories of feelings,
stress response, nurturing, separation anxiety,
fear, rage, social bonding, hormonal control
centre
© Jane parenting & behaviour
skills consultancy
Developmental spurts between 5-6, 11-12 & 15,
into late 20’s!!
Empathy, predicting consequences, planning,
delayed gratification, sequential thought,
attention, problem solving
© Jane parenting & behaviour
skills consultancy
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When all
goes
well……….
All three parts of
the brain interrelate and, in a
healthy brain, are
very connected in
a range of ways
As the brain gets
more organised,
the more complex
areas begin to
control and
moderate the
more reactive,
impulsive lower
brain.
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
37
Develops from
the inside out
& bottom
upwards
Organisation &
construction is
“usedependent”
(Perry, 2006)
Is most open to
being moulded
in the baby &
infant stages
BRAIN
100 billion
neurons
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
38
LISTEN for the ‘experience’
Decide if it’s relaxing, stressful,
happy, scary
Pass the string down the right line & onto the next
one as quickly as possible
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
39
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
40
Healthy
Neglected
 Average
brain has about 100
billion neurons
 Are born with nearly all these
 Neurons connect rapidly in first 5
years of life to form cortex
 Brain remains open to re
connection throughout life
 Average neuron connects directly
to 10,000 other neurons
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
42
Clever Brain
Emotional Memories
Survival Brain
© Jane parenting & behaviour
skills consultancy
No magic wands!!
No sticking plasters!!
© Jane Evans Parenting &
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
What it is about – calmness, kindness,
teaching, nurturing, acceptance
Working with the child – keeps them in
thinking brain & builds connection to care giver
Learning with out fear – put a child in
the ‘frozen fear’ zone & they are using
their primitive brain not their thinking
brain!!
© Jane Evans Parenting &
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
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Own childhood trauma
Feel overwhelmed
Stress/anxiety response
Emotional state
Negativity
Avoidance
Shut down
© Jane Evans Parenting &
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
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Understanding the meerkat brain
Taking care of inner meerkat
Soothing the inner meerkat
Seeing the baby meerkats as stressed &
scared
Introducing:
calmness connection correction
calmness
connection
correction
© Jane Evans Parenting &
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
Regulate
RELATE
REASON
© Jane Evans Parenting &
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
© Jane Evans Parenting &
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
Jane Evans
Trauma Parenting Specialist, Freelance Trainer,
International Speaker & Author
www.parentingposttrauma.co.uk
Twitter: @janeparenting2
© Jane Evans Parenting and
Behaviour Skills Consultancy
55