Interpersonal
Communication
Diyah Ayu Amalia Avina M.Si
Interpersonal communication =
Reciprocal message processing
• Reciprocal message processing : when two or more
individuals mutually take account of and adjust to one
another’s verbal or non verbal behaviour
Interpersonal communication
Interpersonal communication include a messages that occur between two,
interdependent persons;
IPC messages are offered to initiate, define, maintain, or further a relationship.
Interpersonal communication is more than just saying a polite hello to the salesclerk in
our favorite department store and then scurrying away never to be seen again.
Instead, it refers both to the content and quality of messages relayed and the possibility of
further relationship development
<http://www.sagepub.com/upm-data/4984_Dainton_Chapter_3.pdf>
Relationship
Relationship :
Way of talking about
friendship
Specific
May involve emotional
or sexual intimacy
General concept
One to one social unit ;
Ex :
Parent and child, employer employee,
doctor – patient, teacher – student etc
Interpersonal Communication
from psychological perspective
 Related with :
 which is who you are and what you bring to the
interaction.
 Your needs, desires, values, personality, etc., all form
the psychological context
(note : "You" here refers to both participants in the
interaction.)
Principe of
Interpersonal
communication
Source :
Donnel King
http://www.pstcc.edu/facstaff/dking/interpr.htm
Principe of
Interpersonal Communication
inescapable
Irreversible
Complicated
Contextual
inescapable
• We can't not communicate.
• Everything is communication – verbal or non
verbal
• Remember a basic principle of communication
in general: people are not mind readers. Another
way to put this is: people judge you by your
behavior, not your intent.
irreversible
• You can't really take back
something once it has been said.
• A Russian proverb says, "Once a
word goes out of your mouth,
you can never swallow it again."
Interpersonal communication is
complicated
• Theorists note that whenever we communicate
there are really at least six "people" involved:
• 1) who you think you are;
• 2) who you think the other person is;
• 3) who you think the other person thinks you
are;
• 4) who the other person thinks /she is;
• 5) who the other person thinks you are; and
• 6) who the other person thinks you think s/he
is.
Interpersonal
communication is contextual
• Psychological context,
• Relational context
• Situational context
• Environmental context
• Cultural context
Psychological context,
• which is who you are and what you bring to the interaction.
• Your needs, desires, values, personality, etc., all form the
psychological context. ("You" here refers to both participants
in the interaction.)
Relational context
• , which concerns your reactions to the other person--the
"mix."
Situational context
• deals with the psychosocial "where" you are communicating.
An interaction that takes place in a classroom will be very
different from one that takes place in a bar.
Environmental context
• deals with the physical "where" you are
communicating. Furniture, location, noise level,
temperature, season, time of day, all are examples of
factors in the environmental context.
Cultural context
• includes all the learned behaviors and rules that affect
the interaction.
• If you come from a culture (foreign or within your own
country) where it is considered rude to make long,
direct eye contact, you will out of politeness avoid eye
contact.
• If the other person comes from a culture where long,
direct eye contact signals trustworthiness, then we have
in the cultural context a basis for misunderstanding.
Interpersonal
Attraction
Diyah Ayu Amalia Avina M.Si
What is attraction?
anything that draws two or more
people together characterized by
affection, respect, liking, or love
("Interpersonal attraction," 2010).
major factors that influence
interpersonal attraction
Propinquity /
Proximity
Similarity
Physical
attractiveness
Responsiveness
and reciprocal
liking
Competence
Reward
Stress
(Low) self
esteem
Social isolation
http://www.personal.psu.edu/bfr3/blogs/applied_social_psychology/2011/12/interpersona
l-attraction-what-matters-first.html ;
Propinquity / proximity
 physical or
psychological proximity
between people
 Ex : people who works
in a same division and
same floor has a
similarity in nature.
Propinquity / proximity
 The propinquity effect
: the tendency for
people to form
friendships or romantic
relationships with those
whom they encounter
often, forming a bond
between subject and
friend.
Industry/Occupational
Propinquity
in which similar people working in the same field or job tend to be
attracted to one another.
Residential
Propinquity,
in which people living in the same area or within neighborhoods of
each other tend to come together
Acquaintance
Propinquity,
a form of proximity in existence when friends tend to have a special
bond of interpersonal attraction.
Types of propinquity
"virtual propinquity"
to work on virtual relationships where
people are connected virtually
Similarity
 People tend to choose and feel
comfortable if life or stand
around people who have
similarity with them
 Value, attitude, beliefs, social
class, religion, ideology etc –>
depend on their preference
Physical attractiveness
It’s hard to explore ..  sympathy
PA stereotype :
-
People who has a physical attractiveness
has a good/ better ability
-
Beautiful : more successful and happier
-
Tall and big = natural born leader
Berscheid, E., & Walster, E., Physical Attractiveness. In L.
Berkowitz (ed., ) Advances in Experimental Social Psychology.
Vol. 7, 1974. Exerpts
 attractive children and adults are treated more
favourably than unattractive children and adults (e.g.
Langlois et al., 2000)
Similarity..(2)
Theories which related with
similarity
Cognitive Consistency
(Fritz Heider)
Reinforcement and
behaviourism
(Bryne, 1971)
Teori Cognitive Consistency
(Fritz Heider)
• People prefer to be consistent
because it’s easier to understand –
safe
• Someone wanted to have a similarity
with the people they like / adore to
make cognitive consistency
Reinforcement and behaviorism
(Bryne, 1971)
• Atraction and similarity has a linear correlation.
• Basic perception : similarity = rewards ; different = awful/ bad
idea
• Ex :Moslem sisterhood in other countries
Responsiveness and
reciprocal liking

we like those who are responsive to us and we like
those who like us
Emotional Pressure (stress)
 People in stressful condition needs other people
 Anxiety producing situations -- emotional presure
produce need of love/atention (Schachter, 1959)
 Ex : a stressful student need support from his/her
friends  sorority / sisterhood
(Low) self esteem
 People who have low self
esteem tend to easier to
accept affiliation ( such as :
love, care, etc )
Social Isolation

Human is a social creature

When people has isolated,
increasing the probability of
like others

The Gain-Loss Theory or
model of interpersonal
attraction is concerned with
the effect that a sequence of
positive, negative, or positive
and negative evaluations
about a person may have
about that person's attraction
to the person or persons
making those evaluations.

For example, when giving
feedback to individuals on
how they have performed on
a task, is it better to start
with what they have done
well or what they need to
improve?
http://knowledge.sagepub.com/view/huma
nrelationships/n237.xml
Competence
 Who is he / he? How is
their competencies ?
 People tend to believe
someone else who has
competencies of what
he said
 Ex = doctor – patient
rewards
 What did you get if you
“pay attention” to
somebody ?
 Positive or abandon
negative feelings
Effect of Interpersonal Attraction
toward interpersonal communication
Perception of communicate
• Rational and emotional judgment
Communication effectiveness
• effective ; communicator and
communicate has a similar perception
Classification of
Interpersonal
Communication
Diyah Ayu Amalia Avina M.Si
Dyadic and
triadic
relationship
Task and social
relationship
Casual and
intimate
relationship
Duration :Short
and long term
relationship
Dating, love
and marital
relationship
Dyadic and triadic relationship
• Dyads = two person unit  spouse,
• Triads = three person relationship 
six possibilities message process pairing
• A and B ; A and C ; B and C ; A+B
with C ; A+C with B B ; B+C with A
Task and social relationship
• Relationship based on Purpose of
coordination action
• personally ------ social oriented goal
• Ex : teacher – student ; taxi driver –
passenger
Duration :Short and long term
relationship
• Short term
• Low investment
investment
• Little history
history
• Identities negotiable
fixed
vs
long term
high
lengthy
identity
Casual and intimate
relationship
• Based on “depth” or intimacy level
• Acquantance --- casual relationship ---intimates
Dating, love and
marital relationship
Relational
Patterns
Diyah Ayu Amalia Avina M.Si
Relational patterns
Supportive and
defensive climate
Dependencies
and Counter
dependencies
Progressive and
regresive spirals
Self – fulfilling
and selfdefeating
Prophecies
Relational patterns
Supportive and defensive
climate
The orientation of individuals within
relationships and their patterns of
communicating with one another create
the climate of communication. Climates
and individual behaviors can be
characterized along a continuum from
highly supportive and highly defensive.
Evaluation:
• judging and criticizing other group
members.
Control:
 Defensive Climate
isthe climate in which
conflict is managed is
important. Dyads
should avoid a defensive
climate, which is
characterized by these
qualities:
• imposing the will of one group member on
the others.
Strategy:
• using hidden agendas.
Neutrality:
• demonstrating indifference and lack of
commitment.
Superiority:
• expressing dominance.
Certainty:
• being rigid in one’s willingness to listen to
others.
Description:
• presenting ideas or opinions.
Supportive climate
 individuals should
foster a supportive
climate, marked by
these traits:
Problem orientation:
• focusing attention on the task.
Spontaneity:
• communicating openly and honestly.
Empathy:
• understanding another person’s
thoughts.
Equality:
• asking for opinions.
Provisionalism:
• expressing a willingness to listen other
the ideas of others.
Relational patterns
Dependencies and Counter
dependencies
• Dependency relationship = one of
individual of relationship who is highly
dependent on another for support, money,
job, leadership, or guidance
• Ex : husband dependent on wife ; always
agree
• Counter dependent  in contrast -disagrees
Relational patterns
Progressive and regresive spirals
• “In a spiral, one partner’s behavior intensifies that of the other”.
Progressive :
in which one partner’s behavior
leads to increasing levels of
satisfaction for the other. In
progressive spirals, the reciprocal
messages processing if the
interactions leads lo a sense of
“positiveness”in the expriences.
Regressive :
, where one partner’s
communication leads to increasing
dissatisfaction. Stopping regressive
spirals from getting out of control
depends on the open
communication between the two
individuals. In these circumstancesregressive spirals there is increasing
discomfort, distances, frustation,
and dissatifaction for everyone
involved.
Relational patterns
Self – fulfilling and selfdefeating Prophecies
Factor that
influence pattern
Stage of
relationship
and context
Interpersonal
needs and
styles
power
Conflict
1. Stage of Relationship and
Context
• The nature of interpersonal patterns
also varies depending on the context
in which conversation is taking place.
• Together, these two factors account
for much of the variation on the
patterns of communication within
relationship.
Interpersonal Needs and Styles
• Often noted as especially important in this
way are the interpersoal needs fection,
inclusion, and control.
• We each develop our own specific needs
relative to control, affection, and inclusion,
as we do in other areas.
• Interpersonal style also plays a key role in
shaping the communication patterns that
emerge in relationships.
3. Power
• Interpersonal communication within
relationships is also shaped by the
distribution of power.
• Where one individual is employed by
the other, for instance, the relationship
is asymmetrical, or uneven, in terms of
the actual power each has in the job
situation.
Conflict
• The presence of conflict—
“anincompatibility of interest
between two or more people
giving rise to struggles between
them”—can have a major impact
on communication dynamics.
Passive-indirect methods.
Avoiding the conflict –
producing situation and
people
three general
communication strategies
used in conflict
resolution:
Distributive methods.
Maximizing one’s own
gain and the other’s losses
Integrative methods.
Achieving mutually
positive outcomes for
both individuals and the
relationship