PEER CRITIQUE, Project #3, Draft #2
Literary Analysis of Rule of the Bone
English 120, Nichols, Fall 14
To Critiquers
TO RECEIVE CREDIT FOR THIS CRITIQUE, YOU MUST OFFER ACTIVE, THOUGHTFUL,
DEVELOPED FEEDBACK—NO PERFUNCTORY COMMENTS OR MERE YES-NO
RESPONSES. Put some time and thought into each item; both you and the paper writer will benefit.
To Paper Writers
Be sure to save the critiques completed on your own draft. (You'll attach them to the final product of
your finished essay.)
Paper writer's name (provide FULL NAME) _____________________________
Critiquer's name (provide FULL NAME) ________________________________
1) Read through the draft before you and offer some initial reactions (questions, observations, immediate
impressions). What do you really like, right off the bat?
2) Assess the introduction: does it engage your interest and make you want to read further? Can you
suggest something to make it more interesting?
Does the intro make clear the paper’s topic and purpose? Does it orient you and prepare you for what is to
follow?
Note: it is customary, in a literary analysis, to indicate the title of the novel and its author's full name very
early on. Thereafter, you can refer to the author by his/her last name. Has this essay writer done so?
3) Assess the thesis. (The thesis for this paper should be an original, debatable claim about what the novel
means, about its primary theme, or how we might best understand and appreciate the novel or any of its
parts. The thesis will usually be an answer to some interpretive question as well.
Note: if the writer is dealing with research on something like dysfunctional families, the thesis should still be
a statement, ultimately, about the novel—not dysfunctional families per se.)
a. Is the thesis clear? See if you can state it here:
This writer is mainly claiming that________________________________.
(If you having trouble finding a thesis, or are unsure about how you’ve identified it, let the writer know.)
b. Is that central point evident early on and consistent throughout? Is it nicely re-affirmed at the end?
Or does the main idea sort of get lost or even change as the paper proceeds?
c. Is the thesis original, or at least stated in a fresh way? (The thesis represents all the hard thinking the
writer has done about his or her topic; it shouldn’t be an idea which was simply lifted from class or
somewhere else.)
4) Is the thesis well-supported in the body of the essay?
All claims—from the thesis to the topic sentences of paragraphs—should be illustrated and
supported with lots of specific details, examples, reasons, references and quotations from the
book. You want to finish reading with the feeling and understanding that the novel now
makes more sense to you, and that you've gained insight into it which you didn't have
before.
Comment on how well the writer is actually proving and backing his/her main idea. If you
are not convinced or have nagging doubts, tell the writer where you think the argument is
weak, or point out evidence in the story which contradicts their thesis. Help the writer close
any holes in their case, or show how the writer may not be understanding the novel in the
best way.
5) Has the writer kept plot summary to a minimum? (I.e., plot summary should only be provided when
necessary, to refresh the reader’s memory, and to be sure the reader is following the argument. The writer
should avoid merely re-telling the story or telling you what is already obvious.) Discuss.
6) Are the paragraphs focused, each with an explicit (or strongly implied) claim which clearly links back to
the paper's CENTRAL claim, or thesis? Do any of the paragraphs actually make MORE than one claim? (If
multiple claims are crammed into a paragraph, there’s a good chance that NONE of them are really being
elaborated and supported! Each paragraph should take on and support just a single point, with tons of
specific detail to back up each one.)
Do the paragraphs include helpful transitions and navigational cues to help you get from one to the next
without getting lost?
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7) Remember that you need to cite a source when: 1) you quote the source; 2) you summarize or paraphrase
the source's words and ideas; 3) you are stating little-known or debatable facts; 4) any time you think your
reader may want or need more info. Remember too that you need a Works Cited page! And all essays
should of course include at least one entry—the novel!).
Example of paraphrased reference to Rule of the Bone, with an in-text citation:
Chappie's desire to tell his mother the truth is apparent by how he seeks her
out at work, and by how he hints—as well as he knows how—that Ken is
guilty of serious transgressions. He never comes right out and tells her, but
he does ask her several leading questions, and it is clear that he is struggling
to make her understand (Banks 157). Note: if the piece only has one source
(the novel) then the author’s name does not have to go in the citation; just
the page number.
Example of quoted reference to Rule of the Bone, with an in-text citation:
We can see Chappie's dramatically changing identity as he's preparing to
leave the Ridgeway's house: "It was strange to stand there in front of the
mirror and see myself like I was my own best friend, a kid I wanted to hang
with forever (Banks 130-131). He's clearly becoming someone he actually
likes, someone he has chosen to be and not someone he's forced to be by the
lousy circumstances of his life. Note: if the piece only has one source (the
novel) then the author’s name does not have to go in the citation; just the
page number.
Has the writer appropriately integrated and documented any references from or to the
novel?
Has the writer appropriately integrated and documented any outside sources they may be
using?
8) Editing for smoothness, clarity, and concision: where do you see troublesome, unclear, or awkward
sentences? Point out one or two and offer suggestions. You might write notes directly on the draft itself.
9) Where do you see sentences with mechanical errors such as incorrect punctuation or unmotivated shifts in
person, number, or tense? Do you see any proofreading errors such as misspellings or typos? Point them out
on the draft but don’t correct them.
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10) Has the writer paid adequate attention to the needs of the audience? Remember that this interpretation is
for college students just like yourself, who might be studying Banks’ novel and need to understand or
appreciate it better. The tone should be “low-formal”: professional but not stiff.
Discuss.
11) How would you rate the essay’s conclusion? Does it leave you convinced that the thesis is valid? Does it
provide a feeling of closure?
12) Any final questions you would like to ask the writer? Any further tips or suggestions?
Hey, thanks for your feedback!
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