College Application Essay
Workshop
Agenda
• During workshop student will review
• Why?
• types of essay questions
• ideas for essay topics
• tips on structuring essay
• critique of sample essays
Why?
You are more than just
your numbers.
The Questions
• Common Application
• 600+ member schools
• do not exceed 650 Words
• expect supplemental essays from individual schools
• provide balanced view
• UC Application
• do not answer 1 prompt in fewer than 250 words
• provide balanced view
• Private Supplemental Application
• Specific questions that are solely from individual schools
• provide balanced view
UC Applications
• 2 essays, answer both using a total of 1,000 words
- Describe the world you come from - for example your family,
community or school – and tell us how your world has
shaped your dreams and aspirations.
- Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment,
contribution, or experience that is important to you. What
about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and
how does it relate to the person you are.
Common Application
• 6 possible prompts, answer one using 400-650 words.
- Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so
meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this
sounds like you, then please share your story.
- The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount
an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and
what did you learn from the experience?
- Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to
act? Would you make the same decision again?
- Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an
intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of
personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and
what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
- Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your
transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or
family.
Private Universities MAY Have
Supplemental Essays
• Including the Common App, students may also be asked to complete a
supplemental essay. Essay is given by the schools themselves. Check
with each for more info.
- USC (2014-2015)
- USC students are known to be involved. Briefly describe a nonacademic pursuit (such as service to community or family, a club or
sport, or work, etc.,) that best illustrates who you are, and why it is
important to you. (250 word limit)
- Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them
at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice
major selections (250 word limit).
- USC SCHOOL OF ENGINEERING (2014-2015)
- How do you plan to use your engineering degree to benefit society?
(250 word limit)
- Some people categorize engineers as geeks or nerds. Are you a geek,
nerd, or neither? Why? (250 word limit)
Private Universities MAY Have
Supplemental Essays
Harvey Mudd (2015-2016)
• What influenced you to apply to Harvey Mudd College? What
about the HMC curriculum and community appeals to you? (500
Words)
• Choose one of the following to answer (500 Words)
• “Scientific research is a human endeavor. The choices of topics
that we research are based on our biases, our beliefs, and what
we bring: our cultures and our families. The kinds of problems
that people put their talents to solving depends on their values.”
-Dr. Clifton Poodry. How has your own background influenced
the types of problems you want to solve?
• What is one thing we won’t know about you after reading your
application that you haven’t already reported in the Common
Application “Additional Information” section?
Private Universities MAY Have
Supplemental Essays
• LMU – answer one in 500-1,000 words (SAMPLE)
• Statement: A motto often associated with Jesuit and
Marymount schools is “Educating men and women for
others.” Fr. Pedro Arrupe, the former head of the Jesuits,
once said that, “Our prime educational objective must be
to form men and women for others, who believe that a
love of self or of God which does not issue forth injustice
for the least of their neighbors is a farce.”
• Question: What do you think Fr. Arrupe meant when he
said this? Please give an example of someone you know
other than your teachers and parents who works for
justice for the least of their neighbors.
The Questions
•Whether specific or general, each question is
asking for a personal statement.
•imagine this is your interview
•reflect your real personality
•not everyone can be a leader
•use your real voice
•few 17 year olds sound like a 40 year old
The Questions
•Relate one story about one experience.
•Be wary of essays that
•sell the student as “well-rounded”
•tell an old story
•describe activity since abandoned
•describe someone else
Ideas for Topics
• One essay that will set you apart is describing an
experience in your technology.
• Be wary of essays that describe
• the program you designed
• the wall you built
• Instead, focus on
• your mindset during challenging project
• your mindset during problem solving
• your mindset during project spanning
quarter/semester
• your behavior during group work
Ideas for Topics
• One approach to an essay is to ask yourself, “What experience on
the application/transcript is not fully represented?”
• In other words, is there a significant “behind the scenes” angle?
• “Basketball taught me how to make use of criticism.” (USC)
“Pick up the pace, fat boy! You call that running? My asthmatic
grandma runs faster than that!” On the verge of tears, I
wonder why I subject myself to the daily humiliation of
basketball conditioning, and I laugh at the eighth grader who
thought he would academically and athletically “rule” Bosco
Tech.
• “I deserved to be denied entry into Key Club, then I earned
my way back in.” (UCI)
Hua, Jocson, Lopez, Ly. Wait. I double check the list. Nothing. I
am officially out of key club.
Ideas for Topics
• ”That was the hardest I ever worked for a grade.” (UCI)
It was 4:00 pm and my row is called to the board. As my
heart races, I reach for the chalk. “Find the volume of the
solid generated when then region is bounded by f[x] and
g[x] is rotated about the line y equals negative two.” I shut
my eyes and try to decipher the latest puzzle. I know I
have to integrate, but do I use the washer method or the
shell method? The clatter of the chalk striking the board
pierces the air while I stare at the ground searching for an
answer. Slowly I begin to write. I box my answer and
quietly tread back to my seat. I am in over in my head.
Ideas for Topics
• OR, another idea is to ask yourself, “What experience does
not appear at all on the app/transcript?”
• “I’ll always choose family over friends.” (UCI)
6:30! The ASB meeting lasted a lot longer than expected.
I remove tonight’s homework from my bag. Calculus,
Physics, Spanish. Then I hear footsteps racing upstairs. “I
guess Julian is back from Grandma’s.” He throws his
backpack into his room and dashes into mine. “Richie!” he
screams. “Did you finish all your homework?” I ask. “Yes.
That means we can play!” “Maybe tomorrow. I’m not
going to finish anytime soon.” With a disappointed look,
he nods and leaves.
Ideas for Topics
- “I pushed myself on my trip to China” (UCSB)
“You’ll each partner up with a student,” announces the
chaperone. “Walk to their house and each lunch with them.
Be back in an hour.” As rain continues to pour, I gaze timidly
into the dark sky. I nervously ask her name and she replies in
a language I barely understand. Piecing together the sounds,
I offer to call her Lindsay. She nods. As we trod the mud to
her house, I receive glares from the Xi’an locals. Bulging
trucks narrowly avoided me. With a 6th grade English
vocabulary, she describes her background, family and beliefs
about rich, trendy, beautiful Americans. Chickens scamper
by and my thoughts turn to food. Here I am on the other
side of the world, about to share a meal with strangers.
Ideas for Topics
- “Dealing with this disease has made me more selfreliant than people expect” (UCI)
I carefully bring the needle pen to my thigh. The
gadget pierces my skin, and as I press down I
instantly feel the Humatrope solution entering my
body. I hear the click, count to five, and remove the
device. Today marks six years of human growth
hormone treatment.
Ideas for Topics
•Controversial topic is risky if
•it involves offensive language
•it seems designed only to “shock” or
appear “edgy”
•no closure is achieved
Structuring Essay - Sample A
• Start in the action, not before. Brief confusion is ok.
I watched the unfamiliar young man at the computer. My pulse
quickened; my face blushed. I could hear my heartbeat pounding like a
jackhammer. “Please don’t play it!” Little white rabbits began bouncing
around the computer screen. He took aim, following the creatures with
the crosshair. As he shot the first rabbit, an explosion appeared on
screen. All was working well so far.
• Flashback. Address intro by answering, “How did I get here?”
Three weeks earlier in the Electronics computer lab my teacher
announced that our class was to present a project at the upcoming Open
House for visiting grade-schoolers and their families. “You are all to
program your own computer game using the Visual Basic 6.0
environment,” he declared.
Structuring Essay - Sample A
• Provide the “bookend” to the introduction. Bring essay full circle.
I was astounded when the young man continued. With one remaining
rabbit bounding about at a tremendous speed, he anticipated the
rabbit’s position and shot. As his score appeared on the screen, the
visitor noticed it was the highest of the day. I recognized his excited
expression as he turned to face me. “Can I play it again?” he exclaimed. I
smiled widely. “Of course”
Structuring Essay – Sample B
• Start in the action, not before. Brief confusion is ok.
Already tired from a long day at school, I trudge up the steps
of Maryvale’s front office. Although the duty officers at the
front desk offer their usual friendly greeting, I am not sure I
can cope with her stubbornness today. I sign in and badge up
as an officer calls for my escort. Once at her cottage, I brace
myself for the worst part of the day. I spot her on the
playground hiding behind friends, but her expression is not
the one I fear. She is smiling. Adding to my surprise, staff
tells me that she was asking for me all week. Perhaps this
session will go smoothly.
Structuring Essay – Sample B
• Continue the story.
Once inside my confidence wavers, however, upon seeing
that she has reading homework. Noticing the change in her
demeanor, I assume that she too senses the tough hour that
lies ahead. But there is no way around it; she must learn to
read efficiently. She begins to read aloud, and I cringe as she
struggles with her assignment. I know that she has to learn
herself, and I only help her with the “hard ones”.
Structuring Essay – Sample B
• End at the natural conclusion of story
Several weeks later, I sprint up the Maryvale steps, free from the stresses
of school. Today I am hesitant only because it is the end of my
volunteering schedule. I sign in and badge up for the last time. The
officers explain they wish I could continue. I respond that I would like to
but cannot due to upcoming leadership and debate camps. As I walk
over for our last session, I reflect on how much we have accomplished.
Her teacher, her staff, and even her counselor have told me how much
her attitude and work habits have improved. When I arrive at her
cottage, she is waiting for me with an envelope. She asks me to read the
card. As I digest the message she was written, I am almost overcome.
Knowing that I’m her “hero” makes my summer.
Last Words
• never use the words “determination,” “commitment,”
“perseverance,” “diligence,” etc.
• SHOW don’t tell.
• use sensory details
• SHOW don’t tell.
• use strong verbs & specific nouns; avoid too many
adjectives
• Bosco students suddenly become humble on essays and
deflect credit. Embrace your inner-Kanye (well, not that
much)