Writer’s Statement - Conciseness
In addition to the advice on conciseness (Thriller Narrative wiki page, a PowerPoint) once you
have identified your ‘white noise’ you need to:
 Make any necessary ‘white noise’ (eg for grammar and examples) as concise as possible.
 Make any unnecessary ‘white noise’ as concise as possible / eliminate it.
Original
51 words (11 white words, 21%)
I wrote an informational article about Noosa for
the magazine Australian Traveller to deconstruct
the common misperception that Noosa is a
‘faraway uptopia’, and share the diversity of
experiences Noosa has to offer. I focused on
young to middle aged couples looking for a ‘great
Aussie getaway’ incorporation adventure and
relaxation.
‘White Noise’ Reduced
47 words (7 white, 14%)
My informational article about Noosa for
Australian Traveller magazine deconstructed the
common misperception that Noosa is a ‘faraway
uptopia’, and shared the diversity of experiences
Noosa has to offer. I focused on young to middle
aged couples looking for a ‘great Aussie getaway’
incorporation adventure and relaxation.
69 words (21 white, 30%)
I have created an informative brochure on how
to manage Year 12 for teenagers aged 16-18,
attending high school and newly starting Year
12. The purpose of this brochure is to inform
students of ways to successfully manage Year 12.
There is an assumption that students have the
work ethic and the ability to manage their time
at this level, but this assumption proves false for
many Year 12s.
55 words (33 white, 60%)
I created an informal article displaying
persuasive writing techniques through the
argument “are cats better than dogs” for single
cat owners aged 20-40 who live by themselves.
This article’s aim was to enhance the
appreciation those who already own cats have
for their pets as well as persuading others that
cats are better than dogs.
71 words (67 white, 94%)
I chose to do a photo memoir and write about
something that I was passionate and cared about
because I knew it would motivate me. I selected
this particular photo because it shows the
connection that my nanna and I shared. It also
contains a number of memories that I was able
to expand on. My target audience is a wide
demographic, as it’s not particularly aimed at a
certain age.
58 words (13 white, 22%)
My informative brochure on managing Year 12
targets teenagers aged 16-18, attending high
school and newly starting Year 12. I aimed to
inform students of ways to successfully manage
Year 12 because I believe the assumption that
students have the work ethic and the ability to
manage their time at this level proves false for
many Year 12s.
38 words (white, 44%)
My informal article arguing “cats better than dogs”
is for single cat owners aged 20-40 who live by
themselves. I aimed to enhance cat owners’
appreciation for their pets and persuading others
that cats are better than dogs.
23 words (white, 91%)
I wrote a memoir based on a photo of me with my
nanna to explore our shared connection. I
targeted a wide demographic.
Not only will this cut words in what has to be an incredibly concise document, it will:
 Give you a reality check of how much content you actually have.
 Allow you to see the percentage of ‘white noise’ you have.
Scroll to the next page to practise:
Practise:
 Making any necessary ‘white noise’ (eg for grammar and examples) as concise as possible.
 Making any unnecessary ‘white noise’ as concise as possible / eliminating it.
Original
94 words (white, 61%)
I used a range of aural techniques such as
alliteration and onomatopoeia. Alliteration was
effective in titles such as “White Water Rafting” and
“Canopy Climb”, to provide emphasis to my writing,
also aiding in the audience’s memory from the
repetition of specific letters. My use of
onomatopoeia, such as “splashing”, was for specific
effects, in this instance I was imitating the sound of
water. I also used auditory imagery such as “People
in the stands are playing the drums, the crowd is
yelling” to create, in this particular case, a loud and
intense atmosphere.
‘White Noise’ Reduced
I used a range of aural techniques such as
alliteration and onomatopoeia. Alliteration was
effective in titles such as “White Water Rafting”
and “Canopy Climb”, to provide emphasis to my
writing, also aiding in the audience’s memory
from the repetition of specific letters. My use of
onomatopoeia, such as “splashing”, was for
specific effects, in this instance I was imitating the
sound of water. I also used auditory imagery such
as “People in the stands are playing the drums, the
crowd is yelling” to create, in this particular case,
a loud and intense atmosphere.