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Running Head: Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
Brian Tunney
Saint Louis University
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Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
Table of Contents
Abstract........................................................................................................................................... 3
Introduction .................................................................................................................................... 4
Literature Review ........................................................................................................................... 5
Methods.......................................................................................................................................... 9
Results............................................................................................................................................. 5
Data Analysis .................................................................................................................................. 6
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Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
Abstract
This pilot study is designed to determine whether or not the verbal and non-verbal
communication style used by collegiate students is influenced by their gender. The study will
also look for variations in the verbal and non-verbal communication style based on the gender
of the group being observed. Previous studies have been included in this study, which indicate
there is a noticeable difference in verbal and non-verbal communication style based on gender.
The results of this study indicate that there is a difference of communication technique based
on the individual’s gender. A larger study of individuals with a wider age range would be
beneficial in order to see if the difference in style begins or stops at a certain age range.
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Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
Introduction
Gender behavioral stereotypes in our society today are slowly moving from a strict male
and female stereotype to a spectrum of acceptable behaviors, no matter the gender of the
individual. However, even though the stereotypes are diminishing in certain aspects of
behavior, there is one form of behavior that continues to be seen as a strict male and female
stereotype. Men and women are expected to communicate verbally and non-verbally according
to certain social norms. In this study it is expected that deviations from the stereotypical gender
communication style will occur, thus proving that behavioral norms are developing into a
spectrum. Through analyzing previous research on the subject, conducting an observational
study, and analyzing the data gathered from the study I will be able to determine whether or
not a collegiate students deviate from gender stereotyped forms of verbal and non-verbal
communication.
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Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
According to Holstrom (2009) differences in communication do exist based on gender.
Holstrom believes that women value listening and comforting skills, whereas, men value
narrative and persuasive skills (p. 226). The skills that Holstrom believes women value in
communication could stem from their childhood. The study conducted by Tenenbaum, Ford,
and Alkhedairy (2011) noted that children may learn a style of communication from their
parents and apply it to their conversations with their peers (p. 717). The interactions between
parents and their children enforce the different values of communication because “mothers of
daughters used more emotion words than did mothers of sons when talking to their children”
(Tenenbaum et al. 2011, p. 717). While the girls were learning to communicate emotional
language from their mothers, the boys “developed norms prohibiting the expression of fear.
Simultaneously, the boys used rougher, more aggressive talk” (Tenenbaum et al. 2011, p. 710).
The development of these different communication skills between males and females might
have led to the etiquette of dialogue displayed by males and females of several age groups in
the experiment conducted by Croft, Boddy, and Pentucci (2007). They found that, regardless of
age, the same sort of rules applied to same-sex dialogues. Women would commence a
narrative, pausing regularly for encouragement, clarification and points of detail. Interruptions
did not necessarily stop the flow of discussion; some functioned as verbal lubricants to help
propel the story along. The speaker would be backed up with a regular chorus of agreement,
plus occasional interruptions to clarify points of information or to add emphasis. Women would
also pause, mid-sentence on purpose to allow the listeners to finish her sentence or to provide
her with the words she was unable to think of. Listeners would also encourage the speaker to
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Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
carry on when a narrative was apparently over. The conversational rules for the men were
significantly different than the women’s, however. Men did not encourage the speaker to
continue the story, nor did they interrupt to clarify details or offer agreement. Men also
refrained from speaking during a pause in case the speaker was trying to think of a word, in
which case they only offered their input if it was asked of them (p. 722).
A form of social etiquette that is believed to be a difference between men and women is
the number of apologies the individual offers in response to their transgressions. Schumann
and Ross (2010) performed a study in order to determine why women apologize more than
men and their results showed that there was in fact no difference in the proportion of their
offenses. Although, women apologized more, they also reported committing more offenses
than men. Schumann and Ross thought that perhaps the men perceived fewer offenses and
therefore were able to rationalize committing fewer offenses. However, when the data was
collected from the victim’s perspective the results matched the previous data with men
committing fewer offenses than women (p. 1651). It seems as though there is a difference in
communication based on gender but in fact both genders apologize equally.
A difference in verbal communication between men and women is the use of
complaining to build a relationship. According to Hall, Travis, Anderson, and Henley (2013)
women’s complaints were non-instrumental, meaning that the receiver of the complaint had no
ability to fix the problem; therefore, it was merely a way of aligning both individuals together.
Men’s complaints during their study consisted of more instrumental complaints, meaning that
the receiver was able to fix the issue and the complaint was not a way of building the
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Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
relationship (p. 57). Hall et al (2013) also stated that greater number of instrumental complaints
could be due to the task orientation of the males. “Instrumental complaints are related to task
orientation in that they both directly address a problem” (p. 58). These studies have shown that
there are differences as well as similarities between the verbal communications of opposite
genders. However, there is still another form of communication that is believed to be
differentiated based on gender.
Non-verbal communication is how we communicate through our facial expressions, our
special relations with one another, and even our gestures. We are always communicating with
other people because even when we are not speaking, we project non-verbal cues to others.
Males and females differ when it comes to non-verbal communication in almost every category.
According to Body Language University (2013) Women are considered to be warmer than men
with a tendency to smile and lean toward others during conversation. Differences have also
been noted with respect to the gestures used while speaking. When using gestures to
emphasize points while speaking men are described as using quick sharp gestures, whereas,
women use softer, fluid gestures. In terms of posture, women tend to be more conserved with
their arms to their sides and their legs close together. Men make themselves larger by opening
their body with their hands away from their sides and their legs spread shoulder width (Body
Language University).
Visual dominance is also another way that men and women differentiate themselves
from each other with men being considered to be more visually dominant than women.
According to Winter, Neal, and Waner (2001), Visual dominance is the ratio of the time spent
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maintaining eye contact while talking to the time spent maintaining eye contact while
listening).
Cultures influence the way in which an individual asserts dominance. According to
Samnani-Azad and Adair (2011) Canadians assert dominance by appearing relaxed. Sitting back
in a chair and remaining calm shows that they are the dominant individual in the room. A
Chinese individual would sit straight and maintain a strict posture to assert their dominance.
According to Hofstede (1980) the masculinity-femininity domain of cultural variability captures
the extent to which a culture promotes gender roles and fosters differences between males and
females. In masculine cultures gender roles are distinct; men should be concerned with ego
enhancement by being tough and assertive, while women should strive for ego-effacing by
being tender and modes. In feminine cultures, gender roles overlap; both men and women are
encouraged to be modest and oriented toward quality of life. Culture also affects the extent to
which people display facial expressions. Western European cultural values, such as
independence and self-assertion, promote open emotion expression (Butler at al. 2007). East
Asian cultural values, such as interdependence and relationship harmony, promote emotion
suppression, the active reduction of emotion-expressive behavior during emotional arousal.
Facial expressions are a very important part of non-verbal communication as well as
posture. Hall (1978) concluded that females have an advantage over men in decoding
nonverbal communication. They were able to decode non-verbal cues from both male and
female encoders better than males. Hall also concluded that females are better encoders as
well. Hall contributed this to the observation that females pay more attention to facial cues
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Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
than males. During one study the data showed that women were not much better than men
when decoding non-verbal cues without being able to use facial expressions.
Based on the research a majority of the communication by men and women falls into
the stereotypical style of communication. However, Croft et al (2010) found during his research
that when placed in a mixed gender group the social etiquette changes for the males. The men
followed the stereotypical social etiquette strictly when they were in a group of only males, but
when they were placed in a mixed group the men’s style of communication changed. They
adapted to the social etiquette of an all-female group. It is interesting that the men were willing
to set aside the strict set of rules and follow the set of rules the women used, even though men
are stereotypically supposed to try to be the dominant members of a group.
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Method
I conducted an observational study in order to determine whether or not collegiate
students were beginning to diverge from the stereotypical style of communication. The study
was conducted in the Griesedieck cafeteria over a period of three days at a different time each
day: Sunday brunch between 10:00 and 12:00, Tuesday lunch between 11:30 and 2:00, and
Wednesday dinner between 5:00 and 7:00. Based on research gathered from several sources,
communication, both verbal and non-verbal, were observed and compared between groups
divided into categories. The groups were categorized based on gender as well as size: allfemale, all-male, and coed. The categorizations based on size were: between two and four
persons and five or more. Notes from observational study are included in Appendix A
An observational study suited the topic of the research being conducted best because
an ethnographic study would result in an inability to acquire data based on all three gender
categories. An interview would not suit the research either because according to Dr. Charles
Tidwell of Andrews University, non-verbal communication “is sending or receiving messages in
a variety of ways without the use of verbal codes (words). It is both intentional and
unintentional. Most speakers / listeners are not conscious of this.” The involuntary aspects of
non-verbal communication would not allow the interviewees the ability to answer the
questions as accurately as possible thus influencing the data.
The study was conducted in the Griesedieck cafeteria because the flow of students
allowed for observation of several groups satisfying each of the categories during the short
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periods of observation. The cafeteria is also understood to be a social space for friends so there
was very little chance of observing a group that did not know each other well and did not feel
comfortable having a casual conversation without focusing on maintaining strict social
etiquette. The number of students working on schoolwork or other such activities allowed for
the observational study to occur without drawing attention to the researcher during the study
avoiding influence of the interaction between the individuals.
In order to avoid an ethical dilemma no personal information of the people being
observed was recorded, including the conversations that occurred during the time of the study.
The only data recorded were the verbal and non-verbal actions of communication exhibited.
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Data Gathered
Comparison of the all-female groups presented several acts of social etiquette that were
seen no matter the size of the group. When a new individual arrived at the table she was met
with eye contact from the original group in its entirety and a voiced greeting from everyone as
well. The eye contact between each of the females supported the study done by Croft, Boddy,
and Pentucci (2007) which showed that “eye contact was obligatory and almost constant” (p.
721) displaying attention to the speaker or in this case, the new individual. If the group had an
odd number of individuals, one female would encourage someone to pull up a chair to the end
of the table so they did not sit at the end across from no one. This suggestion was almost
immediately reinforced by the rest of the group. In groups of all females there was only one
speaker a majority of the time, no matter the size of the group. Each individual who was not
speaking would acknowledge the speaker throughout the story with a short verbal recognition
or a non-verbal head nod or head shake. Females often set down their silverware in order to
use their hands to emphasize what they were saying as well. This frequent use of gestures
could symbolize their openness and comfort level with one another encouraging an extended
conversation. Groups of all females tended to remain at the table for a while after they had
finished their meal just talking. They might have remained there because they truly want to
continue talking with each other or it could have been because no one wanted to be the person
who would end the conversation.
All male groups were fairly different on the other hand. If a new individual arrived at a
table the males who were already at the table only looked up to say hi if the new individual was
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standing on the opposite side of the table and it was easy for them to see the new individual.
Unlike the groups of all females, groups of 5 or more males would have more than one
conversation going at the same time. Social etiquette in an all-male group does not require
them to provide one’s full attention to an individual speaker; however, the group would often
regain unity within the group and engage in one conversation throughout the group. When the
group was all focused on one topic there was only one speaker, similar to the all-female groups,
but there were absolutely no interruptions. Members of the groups would rarely even offer up
non-verbal agreement with the speaker. It seemed as though allowing the speaker to continue
talking indicated that the individuals in the group were listening. Almost all of the listeners in
the groups would continue eating and almost never set down their silverware while listening to
another individual speak. This is unlike the females who displayed their attention to the
speaker. With the males it was assumed that the group was listening while the speaker would
refrain from eating and keep his head up, looking about the group at the other individuals even
though they were not maintaining eye contact with him. This could be a display of dominance
because the speaker at that point was the “alpha” of the group. The groups of males would also
leave as soon as each of the members had finished their meal. It could be assumed that they
continued any conversation they were having after they left the cafeteria even though they
were no longer at the table.
The groups that included both males and females displayed a very interesting change in
the males of the group. The males conformed to the social etiquette that was observed within a
group of all females for the most part. The conformity seemed to depend on the number of
males in the group. As the number of males decreased the prominence of the change in social
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etiquette increased. The males would maintain eye contact and full attention with the speaker
if the speaker was female but they did not offer any verbal or non-verbal approval to the
speaker during the story. If the speaker was male they would continue eating their meal and
sometimes they would even start a side conversation which was quickly ended if the person
they started it with was female. The fact that males would not obviously demonstrate their
attention to other males but would for females leads to the assumption that, like a male
speaker’s eye contact as a possible display of dominance, the passive attention could be an
attempt at a display of dominance as well. The females in the coed group maintained their
social etiquette almost exactly no matter who the speaker was.
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Data Analysis
After analyzing the data gathered from the primary study conducted, it can be
concluded that there are still stereotypical differences in communication based on gender. The
students whom I observed portrayed their gender style of communication strongly. Perhaps the
sample observed was at an age where the style of communication that is the social norm has
already influenced them to the point where they could not change the style in which they
communicate. There were instances where males participated in the social etiquette of a
female group. It does reflect a change in the style of communication but the number of males
that did it was insignificant compared to the number of students who participated in
stereotypical styles of communication.
I was able to find copious amounts of research regarding the subject for the literature
review. The research conducted for the study was highly evident throughout the primary study
which indicates that there is strong evidence supporting the statements in the research that
there are obvious gender differences in the communication of males and females. It can be
assumed that the styles of communication provided in the research that were not evident in
the primary study are still accurate based on accuracy with the other gender differences.
If this research could be conducted on a larger scale I would observe a wider age range
in order to see if there is an age where the stereotypical style of communication begins or ends.
Also, I believe it would be interesting to observe individuals who were only around figures of
the opposite gender because according to Tenenbaum et al. (2011), parents influence their
child’s style of communication.
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Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
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Gender Differences in Verbal and Non-verbal Communication
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