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Process Letter 1:
After writing my first draft I realized that many changes needed to be made to my essay. When writing
my first draft I wrote whatever came to mind, to make sure that my pencil was continuing to move, so
that my ideas continued to flow. I took out a bunch of words that I repeated, and added more transition
words, to make the paragraphs in my essay flow. For example, I added the word moreover, at the
beginning of one of my paragraphs to make it transition to the next idea, instead of just starting out with
a new idea. In addition to making these changes, I added more ideas about how the things I
experienced made me feel, as opposed to just explaining situations that I experienced. For example, in
the second paragraph I said, "I felt as though I was in my own perfect world and there was nowhere else
on the planet that I would have rather been." I think adding feeling would help the reader get a better
idea about how I actually felt.
The process letters written by my peers really helped to point out some changes that I could make
to alter my paper for the better. They recognized a lot of the sensory detail that I included in my paper,
and I thought to make the paper even better I could add more of this.
Process Letter Number 2: During my second revision process, I made the most changes to my essay.
Hal's presentation in class really helped make my paper better. Reading his paper and realizing the
things he could do to make his paper better, helped me recognize things, and I then applied these
changes to my paper. Instead of "telling" I did more "showing." I made sure to fully explain every
situation, and the way I felt, instead of just summarizing the events I experienced. For example, I added
a lot of sensory detail and instead of referring to the judge as “judge” I referred to her as the tall, dark
haired woman. I figured this would put a picture in the readers mind, rather than unable to understand
what the woman looked like at all. I also eliminated a great deal of adjectives such as beautiful, or
perfect, because you told in class that does not tell the reader anything, which helped me a lot. I tried
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to focus on making the perception for the reader more clear by adding more imagery. Overall, most of
the changes that I made to my paper had to do with details. I tried to add more of “me” into my paper
and explain the events rather than summarize them. My peers really helped me with this by pointing
out specific lines by asking questions like, what is DECA? This allowed me to explain what this
organization to the reader, so they do not have any questions when they are finished reading the paper.
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Brittany Altman
Catherine DeLazzero
ENC 1101
27 October 2011
A Passion for Fashion
As a freshman at the Florida state university my current major is retail merchandising and
product development. Choosing this major was more of a second nature type of thing for me rather
than what one would refer to as a choice. Growing up I have always had a passion for fashion. The fast
paced world of fashion is something that intrigued me even as a three year old. I feel as though I was
put on this Earth to have a career in the fashion industry, as this is something that is an immense part of
my life and an area where I know I will be able to invest my time and effort with great ease. Attending
fashion shows at the age of three, becoming vice president of my high school’s DECA chapter, and being
employed by a jewelry designer are all milestones in my life that have allowed me to become confident
in choosing to participate in the retail merchandising and product development program in college.
My love for fashion developed at the ripe age of three years old when I started attending
fashion shows in New York City with my mom and grandmother, a Saks Fifth Avenue employee. As a
child I was absolutely mesmerized by the tall models that I would watch strut down the runway in the
latest trends. When the first model pressed her newly polished stilettos onto the runway, goose bumps
would cover my body from head to toe. Their bold, intense articles of clothing and lean shiny legs
captivated my attention. The feeling of sitting through the show and watching all of the camera flashes
strike the stage like sharp bolts of lightning was something that is almost indescribable. I felt as though I
was in my own perfect world and there was nowhere else on the planet that I would have rather been.
That perfect world was a fantasy land for me, a place where there was fun, funky fashion that made
myself and others feel confident wherever they went. Fashion made me happy, to say the least, I was
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intrigued, hooked like an addict yearning for more when I would leave a show. Aside from most three
year olds who would be excited to take a trip to the zoo or to Disney world, I begged my mom
relentlessly to take me back to another show.
As a result of being intrigued by the fashion industry at such a young age, I won the award of
"best dressed" in my preschool class. It was imperative for me to have a bow in my hair that I referred to
as "my pretty’s," and a large portion of my day was dedicated to picking out the perfect dress to wear to
school. Picking out my outfits for school was one of my favorite things to do as a kid. I absolutely loved
putting together outfits and experimenting with different articles of clothing. When I finally came to my
decision of what to wear, it was like I finally found the pot of gold that I had been feverishly searching
for at the end of the rainbow. Great outfits and sporting the latest trends was something that felt
extremely rewarding for me, which led me to discover the theory I still live by every day: when you look
good you also feel good, and this is the perfect recipe for a wonderful day.
When I reached high school, still holding onto my passion for fashion, I knew there had to be a
way that I could utilize my fashion skills for a career path in which I would commence on in the near
future. I did a little bit of research in my high school's curriculum guide and came across a marketing
class that would allow me to be a member of the North Brunswick DECA club. DECA is an association of
marketing students who participate in competitions to solve real life business situations (DECA OL).
DECA “prepares emerging leaders for careers in marketing, finance, hospitality and management in high
schools and college around the globe” (DECA OL). In addition, “DECA aids with a student’s preparation
for college by providing co-curricular programs that integrate classroom construction, applying learning
in a business context, connects the business and community, and promotes a competitive atmosphere”
(DECA OL). After explaining this to us she started reading off the list of events in a firm, "Food sales,
automotive sales, financial analysis." I listened curiously with a bit of disappointment because none of
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the categories seemed to grab my attention. My teacher continued reading off the list finally
announcing buying and merchandising. Aside from all of the other options, this one in particular caught
my attention. I sat up straight in my seat and felt extremely relieved to know that DECA was the perfect
student organization for me to become a part of. I could be a competitor in the buying and
merchandising event, which would expand my knowledge in the retail field.
I immediately raised my hand to ask my marketing teacher what competing in the buying and
merchandising event would entail. She said at the competitions I would be presented with a case study
situation that went as follows: “You are to assume the role of assistant manager of Madigan Juniors, a
popular clothing store. The manager of the store (judge) has asked you to create a loss prevention plan
for the store” (DECA OL). Mrs. Malik went on to say that I would have to present the loss prevention
plan to the judge, who would assume the role of the store manager, in a meeting that would take place
in the “store manager’s office.” After hearing all of this I became really excited because I knew this was
the closet I could get to actually working as a buyer in the fashion industry. I immediately began
studying to prepare myself for my first competition. When the day of the real event finally arrived, I was
nervous, but so excited to get a taste of something that could possibly be my career choice in the near
future.
As I walked into the room where my event was taking place I could have sworn my heart was
beating louder than the sound of my shiny black pumps hitting the tile floor. I quickly fixed my black a
line dress, which met the business casual dress code, and walked into room 220. I was handed a piece
of paper that described a real life business situation regarding a buyer for a large department store, and
was told I had 15 minutes to plan before I spoke to the judge, or the person who would serve as the
boss of the department store in the scenario I was generating ideas for. I quickly read over the scenario
and before I knew it the distinct black ink from my pen took over the piece of paper that was once
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blank. I made sure to answer everything the scenario asked for in the short amount of time I had. After
my time was up, I even surprised myself with how confident I felt about what I was about to present to
the judge. The answers to the questions seemed so natural as I already knew so much about the fashion
industry and how the buying worked for department stores.
Once again, I adjusted my dress, took a deep breath and walked into room 220 to greet my
judge. "Hi my name is Brittany Altman, buyer for Goodman's Department store, it's a pleasure to meet
you," I said with a smile as I sat up with perfect posture in my chair. The tall, dark haired woman smiled
politely back at me and responded that she was happy to meet me as well. From there I began
presenting my plan for the department store. As I was speaking a familiar feeling rushed throughout my
body, it was that same rush of crazy emotions I got when I sat through a fashion show many years prior
with my mom. It was the perfect world kind of feeling, in addition to an intense adrenaline rush I had
never experienced before. In that perfect world I could not have been happier, because everyone
around me had on great outfits adorned with a great confidence level. The conversation I had with the
judge felt so natural, and the feeling of being put on the spot was similar to the fast pace, intense kind of
feeling I felt the fashion industry had to offer. As the conversation came to an end and all of my ideas
were presented to the judge, I thanked her for her time and walked swiftly out of the room. It was from
that very moment I knew that I wanted to become a buyer.
For the next four years of my high school career, I worked diligently to learn more about what
becoming a fashion buyer entailed, and decided that it would be of my best interest to become a retail
merchandising and product development major in college. Every buying and merchandising competition
I participated in intrigued me more each time, and the real life situations i was asked allowed me to be
certain I was making the right choice. I eventually became the vice president of my high schools DECA
chapter and during my senior year I qualified to compete at the national DECA competition in Orlando,
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Florida. Being this successful was something that I never expected, but it felt really great. I had never
worked so hard at something in my entire life; this path just felt so right for me.
After working so hard and dedicating myself to DECA, I realized how lucky I was to be a part of
the association. It truly exemplified the role of a fashion buyer, and was something I could put all of the
passion I had for fashion into. I looked up to the attributes and the values of the association, which
were competence, innovation, integrity, and teamwork (DECA OL). I learned even more about the
fashion industry and was so elated to know that there was something I could do for the rest of my life
that truly made me happy.
Moreover, as a result of my experience with DECA, and the skills it provided me with, I was able
to attain a part-time job as an exhibitor for a jewelry designer in New York City. At the age of seventeen I
was approached by the owner, and jewelry designer for a company called Felicia Limited. I was very
intimidated by this tall, lean woman who walked up to me with perfectly curled hair, wearing
accessories that were perfectly matched with her outfit. Felicia, was one of my mom’s friends, and
knew that I was intrigued by the fashion industry. She asked me if I would be interested in working as
an exhibitor for her company. I was extremely shocked that she even approached me in the first place,
as most of her employees had experience working for large companies. With such a wonderful
opportunity, that could give me a chance to experience the field, and open the door to a myriad of
opportunities, I knew this was my chance. My heart began beating really fast, and my eyes lit up, as I
said the words “yes of course” to Felicia with great excitement. After replying yes to Felicia’s invitation
to work for her company, she explained to me everything that the position would entail. Listening to
what she had to say just made me want to fill this position more and more. She told me that as an
exhibitor I would attend fashion shows nationwide, where she would show off her jewelry, and I would
be the one to sell it to wholesalers. (People who buy in bulk for retail stores) With the weeks prior to
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my first show, I memorized all of the jewelry she had in her collection, along with the prices, colors, and
style numbers. I would also set up a booth to showcase all of her merchandise, and learn how to sell
jewelry in bulk to people who were buyers for well-known department stores. This was the epitome of
my dream job, and I could not have been more excited to get started.
When July 2, 2010 finally came, I put on my favorite skirt and top, a pair of black pumps, got on
the train, and was ready as ready as I could ever be to take on the New York City fashion industry. When
I walked through the gigantic door of the Javits Center in New York City, I experienced a feeling that I
will never forget. I immediately stopped dead in my tracks to look around and soak up all of the great
fashion that was all around me. I was excited, intrigued, inspired, energized, and ready to take on my
first real job in the fashion industry. I registered myself as an exhibitor at the registration table, received
my name tag, and commenced a job that would forever change my life.
As an exhibitor for Felicia Limited, I got to set up a booth with hundreds of pieces of jewelry, sell
the merchandise to buyers, and pretty much just “get my foot in the door” as many would say. I
experienced Las Vegas, and New York City, met famous fashion designers, including Tory Burch and
Calvin Klein, and sold $30,000 worth of merchandise in one day, which exceeded my highest selling
expectations by many thousands of dollars. Also, getting to talk to designers, and buyers for wellestablished department stores like Saks Fifth Avenue and Bloomingdales, was a great honor. I had to
quickly figure out ways to sell the jewelry to them, and explain to them how and why, the merchandise
would definitely make a profit in their store. Aside from selling the jewelry to wholesalers and
designers, I got to ask them questions about their positions, including what they liked the most about
their jobs. I asked them what their majors were in college, when they realized this field was something
they were so passionate about, and what it was about their jobs that genuinely made them happy. Each
person I spoke to responded with great excitement and told me that because I had the ability to speak
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up and ask questions, I would be very successful in the retail merchandising field. Hearing this input
from other people who have established careers was great motivation for myself, and made me even
more determined to obtain a degree in retail merchandising so that I could be like them one day.
Aside from my job with Felicia, I knew I needed to find a college that had a well-established
retail merchandising program. After talking to one of my friends who attended Florida State, she told
me her school would be a great fit for me, and that I should apply. I did not know anything about the
school itself, but the idea of going to college in Florida seemed interesting to me, so I began doing some
research. I learned that the retail merchandising and product development field at Florida State
University was one of the largest programs of its kind in the United States (chs.fsu.edu). In addition, the
students in the retail merchandising program “Participate in an industry-savvy curriculum, producing
graduates who can contribute immediately to the retail and retail-related companies who hire them.”
(chs.fsu.edu). I could not believe that the school had exactly what I was looking for, including a required
internship program that has enjoyed a 100% placement rate over the years, “with many interns
accepting permanent positions as a result of their internship placement” (chs.fsu.edu). Once again, the
information I was reading seemed like a dream come true, and I knew that Florida State was the perfect
place for me.
The fashion field is something that I have been passionate about since I was three years old.
Being introduced to the fashion industry at such a young age allowed me to develop a passion for the
field, and a want to expand my knowledge. As a member of my high school’s DECA chapter, I advanced
my knowledge in the retail field, and took on my first real job in the fashion industry. My passion also
led me to attend Florida State based off of their world-renowned Retail Merchandising and Product
Development Program. Growing up all of my fashion experiences were the sources for my happiness
and allowed me to express myself in many different ways. To me, being happy while working is
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something that is imperative, and the reason why I chose to participate in the Retail Merchandising and
Product Development at the Florida State University. The feeling I got from fashion shows as a child, as
a member of DECA, and as an employee for Felicia Ltd. was a great rush of positive energy and
adrenaline that I had never experienced before. Working in the fashion industry will let me help others
to purchase clothes that look great on them, and will hopefully cause others to live by my favorite belief
which is , “When you look great, you also feel great, and that is the perfect recipe for a wonderful day.”
As a freshman participating in the retail program at Florida State, my happiness and confidence level is
greater than it has even been before.
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Works Cited
"Abous Us." DECA. DECA, Inc. Web. 28 Oct. 2011. <http://www.deca.org/>.
McGhee, Elizabeth. “The Florida State University College of Human Sciences.” Florida State University,
…………………2011. Web. 3. December. 2011. <chs.fsu.edu/rmpd>.
Warren, Meredith. “Retail Merchandising and Product Development.” Academic Program Guide,
……………….Majors and Academic Maps/Fsu.edu. Florida State University, 2011. Web. 28. October.2011
……………….<http://www.academic-guide.fsu.edu/RMPD.html>.
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Photos:
Regional DECA competition
Felicia Limited Jewelry booth at the Javits Center