Facing It
by Yusef Komunyakaa
My black face fades,
hiding inside the granite.
I said I wouldn’t,
dammit: No tears.
I’m stone. I’m flesh.
My clouded reflection eyes me
like a bird of prey, the profile of night
slanted against morning. I turn
this way – the stone lets me go.
I turn that way – I’m inside
the Vietnam Veterans Memorial
again, depending on the light
to make a difference.
I go down the 58,022 names,
half-expecting to find
my own in letters like smoke.
I touch the name Andrew Johnson;
I see the booby trap’s white flash.
Names shimmer on a woman’s blouse
but when she walks away
the names stay on the wall.
Brushstrokes flash, a red bird’s
wings cutting across my stare.
The sky. A plane in the sky.
A white vet’s image floats
Closer to me, then his pale eyes
Look through mine. I a window.
He’s lost his right arm
Inside the stone. In the black mirror
a woman’s trying to erase names;
No, she’s brushing a boy’s hair.
Yusef Kommunyakaa's Emotional Response Surrounding the Vietnam Memorial
Yusef Komunyakaa emphasizes his ethnicity at the very beginning of his poem "Facing
It" in the first lines: "My black face fades,/hiding inside the black granite." In these lines the
word "black" has been repeated twice, in reference both to his own skin color and the color of
the memorial. By doing this Yusef has identified himself as an African American and forged a
connection between himself and the memorial through similarities of color. This connection is
extended through word choice, as his face "fades" and "hides inside" the granite. The outline of
his face that allows him to be identifiable and distinct from the memorial vanishes, and he and
the memorial have in effect become one congruent entity. This melding together is not only on
a superficial level, as his face goes "inside" the granite, delving beyond the surface into the
interior of the rock.
For Yusef, the memorial is more that it appears; it is not just cold stone, but something
he identifies with on a more deep and profound level. It is this deeper meaning that inspires his
emotional response in the next lines: "I said I wouldn't/dammit: No tears./I'm stone. I'm flesh."
These lines show both his past emotional struggle as well as his present one. For Yusef, this
memorial does not awaken in him new emotions but old reoccurring ones; ones which he fights
to contain with little success, although he came to the memorial with the knowledge that he
would find it a highly emotional experience. He struggles to internalize his emotions, telling
himself he is stone, like the granite memorial, a strong and steady reminder of the past, but he
fails as he realizes the difference between him and the memorial: he is a living human being. He
shares the darkness, the blackness, with the granite memorial, yet he can feel the full impact of
this connection whereas a granite memorial cannot itself feel the pain that it directly
represents.
As his rock-solid control and his emotions struggle against each other, his perception of
himself and his surroundings constantly alters as well. Originally his face was distinct, but faded
into the memorial as he came to terms with the depth of its meaning, and his emotions came to
the surface. After the expression of these emotions, his hazy reflection stands out, now as a
menacing presence: "My clouded reflection eyes me/like a bird of prey, the profile of
night/slanted against morning." After realizing his weakness as a sharp contrast against the
solid unmoving granite memorial in front of him, Yusef now finds himself mirrored within his
reflection in a moment of emotional release. He views this image with hostility, as a bird of prey
would eye its victim. His reflection "eyes" him with the same eyes that rebelled against his self
control and gave proof to his emotional tumult through their tears.
As his face becomes clear it now serves as a direct reminder of the emotional impact of his
surroundings upon him, through mirroring his own face and also by simultaneously illuminating
his surroundings and his silhouetted existence within these surroundings, reminding him that
he stands within the Vietnam Memorial. This effect is described within the next few lines: "I
turn/this way-the stone lets me go./I turn that way-I'm inside/the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial/again, depending on the light/to make a difference." His constant turning and
moving from angle to angle also suggests emotion as he cannot view the memorial from a
single stationary vantage point but must shift back and forth, fully aware of the effect each shift
of movement has upon his perceptions of both himself and the memorial, which are directly
correlated with his emotions.
Yusef reads the names on the memorial: "I go down the 58,022 names,/half-expecting
to find my own in letters like smoke." In these lines he draws attention to the reality and
magnitude of loss through stating the exact number of men killed. However, he also
underscores his inability to fully accept this reality by expecting his own name to be present,
and written "like smoke". Smoke adds a surreal quality, as smoke vanishes almost as it appears,
and is a direct contrast to the memorial, with names permanently engraved of those who died
and therefore whose names will never vanish. The one name Yusef reaches out and touches is
that of Andrew Johnson: "I touch the name Andrew Johnson;/I see the booby trap's white
flash," a man who Yusef associates with a flashback from the war, most likely a flashback to
Andrew Johnson's death.
To Yusef the names do not represent the loss of war, to Yusef these names represent a
multitude of individuals, and the memories he shared and events his witnessed with them.
However, as he in fact touches Andrew Johnson's name, Yusef finds that he did not share these
men's ultimate end. Yusef's own name does not appear on the memorial, and at best he can
only visualize its presence existing in smoke, whereas he can reach out and touch the name of
Andrew Johnson. In the beginning of the poem Yusef's visual perception has played tricks upon
him but now he reaches out and touches the name of his comrade, and in doing so remembers
he truly is dead and will never return, due to the "booby trap's white flash."
The names upon the memorial represent experiences that Yusef carries within himself and that
impact him in ways that have altered him forever. This is why it seems that Yusef finds it hard
to comprehend that other people should not visibly carry the impact of the war with them also,
wherever they go. Yusef writes: "Names shimmer on a woman's blouse/but when she walks
away/the names stay on the wall." Yusef seems to find it hard to comprehend that a woman
can approach the memorial and then walk away and take nothing with her, leaving it all behind
exactly as it existed before. It appears neither have had any effect upon the other, the names
briefly shimmer upon the woman's blouse and then both the woman's blouse and the memorial
remain separate and intact.
Yusef cannot walk away untouched, and instead finds himself gripped by more flashes
from the past: "Brushstrokes flash, a red bird's/wings cutting across my stare./The sky. A plane
in the sky." Again these names invoke memories from the war, memories of war planes flying in
the sky, realistic memories of past experiences. However, like his name written in smoke, these
memories take on a surreal quality with floating images: "A white vet's image floats/closer to
me, then his pale eyes/look through mine. I'm a window." The image of the vet appears ghostlike and as an apparition, who looks through Yusef without seeing him, perhaps because Yusef
is still alive.
Yet Yusef finds a connection he shares with this veteran, as "he's lost his right
arm/inside the stone," much as Yusef's head had vanished inside of the stone at the beginning
of the poem. The loss of the veteran's arm insinuates a mutilated appendage, a casualty of the
war, much as Yusef's peace of mind is also a casualty of the war. Yusef has lost his peacefulness
in a way that can never be undone, and again he watches others and finds it shocking that they
can continue living normal lives and be in the presence of the memorial, without it hindering
their ability to function in any noticeable way: "In the black mirror/a woman's trying to erase
names:/No, she's brushing a boy's hair." Yusef interprets every movement as a product of his
own overwhelmed mental state, rapid motion for him can only symbolize emotion and turmoil
which ends up falling short of reality. Others, although likely impacted in their own way, can
still live normal lives and perform normal tasks in spite of the war, and in the presence of the
memorial, whereas it takes Yusef a moment to understand that a woman can stand in front of
such a monument and perform a natural every day action such as brushing a boy's hair