God’s Imprint on Our Lives
Fearfully &
Wonderfully Made
“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.”
Psalm 139:13-14
Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift
or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
…we were made for God’s glory, pleasure & purpose
Review: The Lion
This personality likes to lead. The lion is good at making decisions
and is very goal-oriented. They enjoy challenges, difficult
assignments, and opportunity for advancement. Because lions are
thinking of the goal, they can step on people to reach it. Lions
can be very aggressive and competitive. Lions must learn not to
be too bossy or to take charge in other’s affairs.
 Strength: Goal-oriented, strong, direct
 Weakness: Argumentative, too
dictatorial
 Challenge: Doesn’t understand that
directness can hurt others, hard
time expressing sympathy
 Dominating, Extrovert & Choleric
Review: Lions in the Bible
 Describe those occasions when Jesus was a “lion” .
 40 days in the wilderness – Satan’s temptation of Christ
 Confronting the Pharisees and the Sadducees
 Confronting the money changers and thieves
at the temple
 Confronting Peter about His death
 Casting “Legion” out of the two demonpossessed men; healings, raising of the dead
 While hanging on the cross
 Who are some others “Lions” in the Bible?
 Paul
 King David
 Deborah, Judge of Israel
Review: The Beaver
Organized. Beavers think that there is a right way to do
everything and they want to do it exact that way. Beaver
personalities are very creative. They desire to solve everything.
Desire to take their time and do it right. Beavers do not like
sudden changes. They need reassurance.
 Strength: High standards, order,
respect, task-oriented
 Weakness: Unrealistic expectations
of self & others, too perfect
 Challenge: Seeing the optimistic
side of things, expressing
flexibility
 Cautious, Introvert & Melancholic
Review: Beavers in the Bible
 Describe those occasions when Jesus was a “beaver” .
 When preaching the Sermon on the Mount
 When preparing for the Last Supper
 When teaching in the Temple
 When in the Garden of Gethsemane
 When carrying the cross
 At His Ascension
 Who are some others “Beavers” in the Bible?
 Moses, Boaz
 Esther
 Martha, Joseph, Thomas
Review: The Golden Retriever
Good at making friends. Very loyal. Retriever personalities do not
like big changes. They look for security. Can be very sensitive. Very
caring. Has deep relationships, but usually only a couple of close
friends. Wants to be loved by everyone. Looks for appreciation.
Works best in a limited situation with a steady work pattern.
 Strength: Accommodating, calm, affirming
 Weakness: Indecisive, indifferent,
unable to express emotional, too
soft on other people
 Challenge: Seeing the need to be
more assertive, holding others
accountable
 Amiable, Loyal, Introvert,
Phlegmatic
Review: Golden Retrievers in the Bible
 Describe those occasions when Jesus was a “Golden Retriever” .
 Healing the leper, the bind, the bleeding, the dead
 Returning to Martha & Mary and raising Lazarus to life
 Talking to the woman at the well
 Feeding the 5,000 & the 4,000
 Comforting the “good” thief on the cross
 Jesus speaks to Peter on the beach
 Who are some others “Golden Retrievers” in the Bible?
 Abraham, Ruth
 Mary, John
 Barnabas
Review: The Otter
Otters are very social creature. Otter personalities love people.
They enjoys being popular and influencing and motivating others.
Otter can sometimes be hurt when people do not like them. Otter
personalities usually have lots of friends, but not deep relationships.
They love to goof-off. (They are notorious for messy rooms.) Otters
like to hurry and finish jobs. (Jobs are not often done well.) The
otter personality is like Tigger in Winnie The Pooh.
 Strength: People person, open, positive
 Weakness: Talks too much, too permissive
 Challenge: Remembering past
comments, follow thru with discipline
 Expressive, Popular, Extrovert, Sanguine
Review: Otters in the Bible
 Describe those occasions when Jesus was a “Otter” .
 The wedding feast & turning the water into the “best wine”!
 Eating with the “tax collectors and sinners”
 The humor and sarcasm in many of His parables
 When Jesus welcomed back the 72 disciples
 Jesus gathers 12 distinctly different men to be His Apostles
 How Jesus enjoyed the “little children”
 Who are some others “Otters” in the Bible?
 Samson, Solomon
 Peter
 The Prodigal Son
Our Wonderful Zoo!
Why Examine Our Personalities?
 How does it prosper us, Holy Spirit Lutheran Church, the Body
of Christ, and the Kingdom of God to understand who we are?
 Us?
 Our Families?
 Our Church Family?
 Our “neighbor”?
 Our Community?
 Our Christian Family
(the Body of Christ)?
 God’s Kingdom?
Are We Set In Our Ways?
 Are we set in “concrete” and unchangeable? Or are we “clay”
that can be shaped and molded?
 Does God was to “change”
who He made us to be?
 How does God desire to
“transform” us?
Be Ye Transformed…
Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the
renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable,
and perfect, will of God.
2 Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old
things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
Galatians 2:20 - I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ
liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of
God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
Philippians 1:6 - Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a
good work in you will perform [it] until the day of Jesus Christ:
Acts 1:8 - But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you:
and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in
Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.
Psalms 51:10-12 - Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit
within me.
Producing Fruit?
Colossians 1:21-22 - And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind
by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death,
to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight—
John 15:8 - By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be
My disciples.
Matthew 13:23 - But he who received seed on the good ground is he who hears the
word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces: some a hundredfold,
some sixty, some thirty.”
If we have a healthy relationship with Christ, then…
we will have a healthy relationship with our Family, then…
we will have a healthy relationship with our Church Family, then…
we will have a healthy relationship with our Neighbors, then…
we will glorify God, show His love, and help grow His Church!
Hardside & Softside Leanings
LIONS
 We learned that the personalities depicted as a _________
and
BEAVERS
a ______________
are “hardside love” “bents”.
 We learned that the personalities depicted as a
GOLDEN RETRIEVER and an _________
OTTERS are “softside love” “bents”.
___________________
 Are we “perfectly balanced” like Jesus Christ?
 Are we “more” balanced now than before our relationship
with Christ?
 Are we “more” balanced now that we’ve “grown” in our faith?
 Are we “hungering and thirsting” to become more like Christ?
Matthew 5:6 - Blessed and fortunate and happy and spiritually prosperous (in
that state in which the born-again child of God enjoys His favor and salvation) are
those who hunger and thirst for righteousness (uprightness and right standing with
God), for they shall be completely satisfied!
Strengths Can Become Weaknesses
 We’ve learned that one’s personality strengths can become
OUT OF BALANCE
weaknesses if they are ____________________.
 Can a “hardside”
“child of God”
increase Christ-like
“softness” in their
relationships?
 Can a “softside”
“child of God”
increase Christ-like
“hardness” in their
relationships?
 If so, then how?
Increasing Softside Love
 Having only 1 side of love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship,
much less cause it to grow!
 You don’t have to be born
with a soft spirit to learn
to display one!
 Learn Godly ways and put
them into practice.
 We will look at 10 methods
that, if put into practice, can
help people add Christ-like
softness to their lives.
 If you scored high on the beaver or
lion scale, you will find the following
helpful in developing more balance.
Increasing Softside Love
1. Deal with emotional “freeze points” in the past.
 Often something from a person’s past is contributing to out-ofbalance relationships in the present.
 Emotional freeze points reflect
either a single event or a season of
events that lock a person into
giving only one side of love.
 Emotional freeze points can be
caused by divorce, death in the
family, physical abuse, bullying,
loss of job, etc.
 Take time to look closely at your past, seek Christian-based
counseling, find an accountability brother or sister in Christ to
talk with, etc.
Increasing Softside Love
2. Recognize that certain personality bents can set up barriers to
softside love.
 Lions & beavers (especially those who score high in both scales)
can be resistant to adopting softside practices.
 Distancing oneself from getting “close” gives lions
and beavers “power” and “control” over others.
 Exposing one’s feelings can make the
lion or beaver feel they have lost
control & in turn create insecurity.
 Otters and golden retrievers have a strong and
natural desire to move closer to others while
lions and beavers are prone to move away.
Increasing Softside Love
3. Learn to give others “softness sandwiches”.
 Make an effort to compliment as much as you criticize.
 God gave us two ears and
one tongue…listen twice as
much as you speak.
 Seek out
opportunities to
positively instruct
and encourage.
 Discipline yourself to offer a kind
word, a gentle touch; express
sympathy and concern; carry out
an act of caring.
Increasing Softside Love
4. Understand what softness means to the other person.
 The more we appreciate a person’s natural strengths, the softer
we‘ll tend to act toward them.
 “For where your treasure is,
there your heart will be also.” –
Jesus Christ
 Learn to treasure other’s natural
bents and talents, especially if
they’re different from our own.
 Learn to ask others what’s
important to them; what
“softness” means to them.
Increasing Softside Love
5. Learn the secret of making hard decisions in a soft way.
 Be cautious and wise to not meet anger with anger, resistance
with resistance, questions with questioning.
Proverbs 15:1-5 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.
The tongue of the wise utters knowledge rightly, but the mouth of the [selfconfident] fool pours out folly.
The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch upon the evil and the good.
A gentle tongue [with its healing power] is a tree of life, but willful contrariness in it
breaks down the spirit.
A fool despises his father’s instruction and correction, but he who regards reproof
acquires prudence.”
 Create a written contract, a written pack, and mission
statement to remind ourselves of our pledge and hold ourselves
accountable to that commitment.
Increasing Softside Love
Mission Statement
I, ____________________ commit to…
 Welcoming all
 Worshiping God
 Witnessing to the teachings
of Jesus Christ
 Working together in love
__________________________________________
Signature
Increasing Softside Love
6. Recognize the destructive power of nonverbal hardness.
 The Apostle James pointed out a way to be spiritually blessed
by looking in a mirror.
James 1:22-25 “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do
what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like
someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes
away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently
into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what
they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”
 We’ll never be truly effective at communicating the soft love if
we don’t take a hard look at what we’re saying nonverbally.
 Our body position and movements, our facial expressions, our
tone of voice speak louder than our words!
Increasing Softside Love
 Nonverbal softness is at it’s best, not when we’re talking, but
when we’re listening.
Increasing Softside Love
7. Become personally involved in helping or serving others.
 Seek out activities, projects, undertakings that bring people
together, in close proximity, sharing challenges shoulder to
shoulder. (i.e., mission trips, works days, service projects, etc.)
 Mentor another; be a big brother or big sister, help an expectant
single mother; work with physically or mentally challenged
young person.
Increasing Softside Love
8. Allow tough times to mold us into soft people.
 Often “well-meaning” members of God’s Church have hurt and
bruised many a fellow believer.
 While “teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness”
we can often fail to incorporate love, grace, and sensitivity.
 Pray that God will use your “valley” experience to enrich you and
not embitter you and that He would use this trial for His glory
and to minister to others.
2 Cor. 2:3-7 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of
compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that
we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from
God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort
abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if
we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance
of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know
that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.”
Increasing Softside Love
9. Keep our hearts spiritually soft.
 The greatest single way to soften our love for others is to increase
our love for Christ.
 Add softness by remaining open to correction from others.
 Add spiritual softness by not
trafficking in those things that
bring darkness to the heart.
 The more we walk in the truth,
the less sin can act like a slowdrying cement in our hearts and
block our ability to give and
receive both sides of love.
Proverbs 16:18 - Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
Increasing Softside Love
10. Make it your goal to be soft with those you love.
 The greatest single way to
soften our love for others is
to increase our love for
Christ.
 Practice giving grace, being
humble, and forgiving those
closest to you.
 Talk, listen, share.
 Take time to “play”, “relax”,
“sit”, “rest”; go on walks with
golden retrievers and play in
the water with otters