Interpersonal Skills
Definitions
Wolfelt: “all interpersonal
relationships are either helpful,
neutral, or harmful”
 Johnson: “interpersonal skills are the
sum total of your ability to interact
effectively with other people”

Agree or Disagree?

Wolfelt: “unless families receive
consistently outstanding service right
now, funeral service as we know it will
not exist in thirty years”
Interpersonal Skills Within
Funeral Service

Wolfelt: “the public’s perception of
anyone who is connected with the
funeral home will be the very
perception of the funeral home as a
whole”

Agree or disagree?
Wolfelt’s Characteristics of
the Helping Funeral Director

1) empathy

2) respect

3) warmth and caring

4) genuineness
Helping Skills

Attending/Listening: “giving undivided
attention by means of verbal and nonverbal behavior
What are some barriers to listening
skills?
Helping Skills (cont’d)

Paraphrasing: “expressing a thought
or idea in an alternate and sometimes
a shortened form”
Paraphrasing Exercise
Break into groups of 3.
 1 person talks free for 3 minutes
 2nd person will paraphrase what was
said
 3rd person will observe, keep time,
and provide feedback
Each person must rotate through all
of these roles.

Helping Skills (cont’d)

Clarifying: “the process of bring
vague content in the interaction into
clearer focus or understanding”
(Wolfelt)
Helping Skills (cont’d)

Perception Checking: “asking the
person for verification of your
understanding…..asking for feedback
about the accuracy of your listening”
(Wolfelt)
Helping Skills (cont’d)
Leading: “anticipating where the
person is going and responding with
an appropriately encouraging remark”
(Wolfelt)
 2 types of leading: indirect and direct

Helping Skills (cont’d)
Questioning: “a method of gaining
information and increasing
understanding” (Canine)
 2 purposes:

1) to obtain specific information
 2) to direct the person’s interaction
with you into more helpful areas
Open-ended questions are preferable
in most situations.

Open-ended Questions
allow the person to tell more about
what he/she might be thinking or
feeling
 help the person better understand
 focus on the feelings of the person

Helping Skills (cont’d)

Reflecting Feelings: “expressing in
fresh words the essential feelings
stated or strongly implied of the
person”
How is this helpful to the funeral
director?
Helping Skills (cont’d)

Informing: “sharing of facts
possessed by the funeral director”
(Wolfelt)
providing information that will allow
the person to make an informed
decision
 information must be usable to the
person receiving it

“Informing” Exercise
Break into groups of 3.
 1 person will assume the role of FD
 2nd person will be the client
 3rd person will observe
*Each person must rotate through the roles.
FD must address the following questions:
Why do I have to buy a vault?
Does my mother have to be embalmed?

Helping Skills (cont’d)

Summarizing: “a method of tying
together several ideas and feelings at
the end of a period of discussion or
the arrangement conference”
(Wolfelt)
How can this be helpful to the FD?