Introductions and Conclusions

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Introductions and
Conclusions
The role

You introduction and conclusion act as bridges that transport your
readers from their own lives into the “place” of your analysis.

By providing an introduction that helps your readers make a
transition between their own world and the issues you will be writing
about, you give your readers the tools they need to get into your
topic and care about what you are saying.

Similarly, once you’ve hooked your reader with the introduction and
offered evidence to prove your thesis, your conclusion can provide
a bridge to help your readers make the transition back to their daily
lives.
Why bother writing a good
introduction?

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Your introduction is an important road map for the rest of your
paper.

Ideally, your introduction will make your readers want to read your
paper.
What not to do



Apologize:

In my opinion..

I’m not sure about this, but…
Announce your intentions

In this paper I will…

The purpose of this essay is to…
Use a dictionary or an encyclopedia definition

According to Google…

Waste time

Be vague

The Holocaust was one of the greatest tragedies in history. There were many different
aspects of the Holocaust. Each created different kinds of problems for Jewish people.

Since the dawn of man, slavery has been a problem in human history.
Some suggestions: Historical review

The victory brought pure elation and joy. It was May 1954, just days
after the Supreme Court's landmark ruling in Brown v. Board of
Education of Topeka, Kansas. At NAACP headquarters in New York
the mood was euphoric. Telegrams of congratulations poured in
from around the world; reporters and well-wishers crowded the halls.

[After reaching back forty years ago to bring up the landmark Supreme
Court decision that started school desegregation, this article discusses school
segregation in the present time.]

from "Integration Turns 40" by Juan Williams in Modern Maturity, April/May,
1994.
Some suggestions: Anecdotal

Mike Cantlon remembers coming across his first auction ten years
ago while cruising the back roads of Wisconsin. He parked his car
and wandered into the crowd, toward the auctioneer's singsong
chant and wafting smell of barbecued sandwiches. Hours later,
Cantlon emerged lugging a $22 beam drill-for constructing postand-beam barns—and a passion for auctions that has clung like a
cocklebur on an old saddle blanket. "It's an addiction," says
Cantlon, a financial planner and one of the growing number of
auction fanatics for whom Saturdays will never be the same.

[This is an anecdote, a little story about one man and his first auction, that is the
lead to an article about auctions. In this article the author explains what auctions
are, how to spot bargains in auctions, what to protect yourself from at auctions,
and other facts about auctions and the people who go to them.]

from "Going, Going, GONE to the Auction!" by Laurie Goering in Chicago Tribune
Magazine, July 4, 1994.
Some suggestions: Surprising
statement

Have a minute? Good. Because that may be all it takes to save the
life of a child—your child. Accidents kill nearly 8000 children under
age 15 each year. And for every fatality, 42 more children are
admitted to hospitals for treatment. Yet such deaths and injuries can
be avoided through these easy steps parents can take right now.
You don't have a minute to lose.

[This article begins with a surprising, even shocking, statistic, 8000 children die
each year from accidents. The article then lists seven easy actions a person
can take to help guard a child against accidents. These range from turning
down the water heater to 120 degrees Fahrenheit to putting firearms under
lock and key.]

from "60 Seconds That Could Save Your Child" by Cathy Perlmutter with
Maureen Sangiorgio in Prevention, September, 1993.
Some suggestions: Famous person

The most widely read writer in America today is not Stephen King,
Michael Chrichton or John Grisham. It's Margaret Milner Richardson,
the Commissioner of the Internal Revenue Service, whose name
appears on the "1040 Forms and Instructions" booklet. I doubt that
Margaret wrote the entire 1040 pamphlet, but the annual
introductory letter, "A Note from the Commissioner," bears her
signature.

[This is the first paragraph of an article about the lady named above. The
author used the names of three famous, modern American writers to get a
reader's interest. Notice that the first name on his list is a name that is
probably more widely known than the other two. Stephen King has been
around for some time now, and everyone, from teenagers to grandparents,
know his name whether they have read his books or not.]

from "Dear Taxpayer" by Will Manley in Booklist, May 1, 1993.
Some suggestions: Declarative

In the College of Veterinary Medicine and Engineering, for example, nearly onethird of the teaching faculty may retire by the year 2004. In the College of
Education, more than a third of the professors are 55 years old and older. The
largest turnover for a single department is projected to be in geology. More
than half of its faculty this year are in the age group that will retire at the
millennium, says Ron Downey of K-State's Office of Institutional Research and
Analysis. The graying of K-State's faculty is not unique. A Regents' report shows
approximately 27 percent of the faculty at the six state universities will retire by
the end of this decade, creating a shortage of senior faculty.

[This is a straight forward introduction that gets right down to the topic of the aging of
the faculty of Kansas State University. There are no historical reviews, no surprising
statements, no anecdotes, no quotations from or about famous people. This is a
discussion that leads to further discussion about the topic. The biggest difficulty about
this type of introduction is that it can get boring. It is not likely to get the interest of
anyone except those who are already interested in this subject. Use this pattern with
caution.]

from "The Tuition Tap" by Tim Lindemuth in K-Stater, February, 1994.
Why bother writing a good
conclusion?

Your conclusions will help your readers see why all your analysis and
information should matter to them after they put the paper down.

It is your chance to have the last word on the subject.

It is also your opportunity to make a good final impression and to
end on a positive note.

Your conclusion should make your readers glad they read your
paper.
What not to do

Beginning with an unnecessary, overused phrase such as “in
conclusion,” “in summary,” or “in closing.”

Introducing a new idea or subtopic in your conclusion.

Including evidence (quotations, statistics, etc.) that should be in the
body of the paper.

Ending with a rephrased thesis statement without any substantive
changes.

Making sentimental, emotional appeals that are out of character
with the rest of an analytical paper
Nope: That’s my story conclusion

This conclusion just restates the thesis and is usually painfully short.

It does not push the ideas forward.

People write this kind of conclusion when they can’t think of
anything else to say.

In conclusion, Frederick Douglass was, as we have seen, a pioneer in
American education, proving that education was a major force for
social change with regard to slavery.
Nope: We shall overcome
conclusion

This kind of conclusion usually draws on emotion to make its appeal,
but while this emotion and even sentimentality may be very
heartfelt, it is usually out of character with the rest of an analytical
paper.

A more sophisticated commentary, rather than emotional praise,
would be a more fitting tribute to the topic.

Because of the efforts of fine Americans like Frederick Douglass,
countless others have seen the shining beacon of light that is education.
His example was a torch that lit the way for others. Frederick Douglass
was truly an American hero.
Nope: Grab bag conclusion

This kind of conclusion includes extra information that the writer
found or thought of but couldn’t integrate into the main paper.

You may find it hard to leave out details that you discovered after
hours of research and thought, but adding random facts and bits of
evidence at the end of an otherwise-well-organized essay can just
create confusion.

Example: In addition to being an educational pioneer, Frederick
Douglass provides an interesting case study for masculinity in the
American South. He also offers historians an interesting glimpse into slave
resistance when he confronts Covey, the overseer. His relationships with
female relatives reveal the importance of family in the slave community.
Yep: Play the “So what” game
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If you’re stuck and feel like your conclusion isn’t saying anything new or
interesting, ask a friend to read it with you. Whenever you make a
statement from your conclusion, ask the friend to say, “So what?” or
“Why should anybody care?” Then ponder that question and answer it.
Here’s how it might go:

You: Basically, I’m just saying that education was important to Douglass.

Friend: So what?

You: Well, it was important because it was a key to him feeling like a free
and equal citizen.

Friend: Why should anybody care?

You: That’s important because plantation owners tried to keep slaves from
being educated so that they could maintain control. When Douglass
obtained an education, he undermined that control personally.
You can also use this strategy on your own, asking yourself “So What?”
as you develop your ideas or your draft.
Yep: Return to themes in the
introduction
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This strategy brings the reader full circle.


For example, if you begin by describing a scenario, you can end with
the same scenario as proof that your essay is helpful in creating a new
understanding.
You may also refer to the introductory paragraph by using key
words or parallel concepts and images that you also used in the
introduction.
Yep: Synthesize, don’t summarize

Include a brief summary of the paper’s main points, but don’t simply
repeat things that were in your paper. Instead, show your reader
how the points you made and the support and examples you used
fit together.

Pull it all together.
Yep: Quote

Include a provocative insight or quotation from the research or
reading you did for your paper.
Yep: Point to broader implications

Point to broader implications.

For example, if your paper examines the Greensboro sit-ins or another
event in the Civil Rights Movement, you could point out its impact on
the Civil Rights Movement as a whole.

If your paper examines the Holocaust, you could point out its impact on
humanity as a whole. Or, the Jewish people. Or, the Germans. Or,
Americans.
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