IS THERE SUCH A THING?
Glenn Wilson PhD, Institute of Psychiatry,
King’s College,University of London
FOUR MAIN AREAS
1. Attraction
2. Arousal
3. Romantic love
4. Relationship stability
IS THIS AN ATTRACTIVE FACE?
WHY?
SOME PRINCIPLES OF ATTRACTION
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Baby faces are attractive in women; tougher,
swarthier looks for men.
Symmetry is attractive in both sexes
A low waist/hip ratio is attractive in women; tall,
V-shaped men more attractive.
Vulnerability is attractive in women; ruthlessness
in men (needing protection vs commanding
resources).
Deep voice attractive in men; higher voice in
women.
These are signals of oestrogen/fertility (women);
testosterone/power (men), or signs of general
health/youth.
SNIFFING OUT COMPLEMENTARY GENES
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Smell preferences may be connected with a search
for complementary genes that will broaden the
immunity spectrum of our offspring.
 Human leukocyte antigens (HLAs) govern our
immune system and can be detected in body
odour.
 Some evidence that we prefer different HLAs
when breeding, but similar HLAs when
needing family support (e.g. when pregnant).
TRIGGERS FOR SEXUAL AROUSAL
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These are based on innate releasers (stored
sexual signals, c.f., instincts/archetypes).
 Depend on visual templates (esp. for
males).
 Consolidated or modified by early
childhood imprinting (inappropriate =
fetishism).
 Habituation occurs to particular exemplars,
esp. males (Coolidge Effect).
An IRM for the human male?
Female front
Female rear
Male front
CHILDHOOD IMPRINTING OF SEX TARGETS
Cross-fostering studies reveal importance of mother-image.
Lambs raised by a goat mother (left) and kids raised by a sheep
mother (right) fancy the “wrong” species when grown up (effect
esp. obvious for males, who depend more on “targets”.)
Other “Oedipal” imprinting studies
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Japanese quail raised by albino mothers prefer
albino mates (Bateson 1978).
 Hawaiians of mixed race tend to marry into ethnic
group of opposite-sex parent (Jedlicka 1980).
 Women fall in love with men of eye colour more
similar to their father than mother (Wilson &
Barrett 1987).
 Photos of wives correctly matched by external
judges to mothers-in-law beyond chance
(Bereczkei et al 2002).
The compulsive attraction of close
relatives reared apart (Star 18/1/88)
Female fMRI (BOLD) responses to attractive males
Brain areas activated as
a young woman views
eligible male faces &
bodies (those linking
cortical pattern
processing with limbic
emotional areas).
Female fMRI (BOLD) responses to five different men
Male rated most
desirable to date
1
2
3
4
5
LOVE IN THE BRAIN
fMRI has also been used to find areas of brain
active when love is experienced.
e.g. Brain responses to pictures of a loved partner
are compared with responses to pictures of
friends.
Or, brain responses to romantic pictures are
compared with responses to explicit erotica.
Brain areas concerned with love are the
emotional/social areas such as the amygdala
and insula; those concerned with lust are
more “animal” (e.g brain stem and
hypothalamus).
CONDITIONS FAVOURING LOVE
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High arousal (even negative) promotes love
bonds.
 Gazing into each others eyes and sharing intimate
details about oneself (mutual selfdisclosure)may create love in the laboratory.
 Sexual arousal and pleasure evoke a hormone
called oxytocin (also responsible for
mother/child bonding).
 Being in love shares brain chemistry with
obsessional/compulsive states (low serotonin)
ARE WE NATURALLY MONOGAMOUS?
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Very few animals are monogamous, and even
fewer mammals. Gibbon may be only primate.
 Most human societies recognise polygamy; those
that don’t tend towards serial monogamy.
 Males of most species have greater drive towards
partner novelty (promotes gene dispersion).
 Women may also benefit from infidelity; more
attracted to lovers when fertile. But may flirt
just to keep partner on his toes.
“DON JUAN” GENES
This meadow vole is normally
promiscuous, but a gene that
increases production of a
hormone in the brain called
vasopressin, transferred from
the monogamous prairie vole,
renders it faithful to one partner
IS THERE A SEVEN-YEAR ITCH?
Asked “Ever wished you weren’t married?”, 1 in 5 wives said
“yes”, and 1 in 7 husbands. Peak discontent occurs 6-9 years
after marrying, though actual divorce peaks later (11-14 years).
A COMPATIBLE PAIR: SHARED TASTES
THE COMPATIBIITY QUOTIENT
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The CQ Test is designed to predict long-term
success of a relationship (after passion has
cooled).
Comprises 25 items covering areas known to be
important for relationship success.
Answered independently by individuals.
Each item has 5 possible answers arranged so that
those further apart clash more.
A total discrepancy score is calculated between the
responses of any two people and converted to
a CQ score with an average of 100.
A TYPICAL CQ TEST ITEM
How important to you is sexual fidelity?
1. Absolutely essential
2. Very important
3. Odd lapse forgivable
4. You have to expect affairs
5. Would want an open, swinging, relationship
MEANING OF CQ SCORES
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145+ Freak identity: Typical of test-retest
reliability (same person doing the test twice)
or identical twins.
130-144 Extremely compatible: Exceptionally
high degree of similarity. <2% of couples.
115-129 Very compatible. <20% of couples.
100-114 Above average. Might work but issues to
be dealt with.
85-99 Below average. Warning bells sounding.
70-84 Rather incompatible. Loud warning bells.
<70 Incompatible. Don’t even think about it!
VALIDITY OF THE CQ
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Two studies have shown that happily married
couples average about 116,compared with 100
for random pairings.
 Those reporting the happiest marriages have
the highest CQ scores.
 This is not due to the couple growing more
alike with time but to their degree of
similarity at the outset of the relationship. CQs
even predict the outcome of a 3 minute
speed-date.
 The CQ has application in on-line dating and
marriage counselling - an early warning of
potential difficulties in a relationship.
WHY ARE WE SO FASCINATED BY LOVE?
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The reproductive imperative is our most powerful
instinct – perhaps the only one (“selfish gene”
hypothesis).
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“The final aim of all love intrigues, be they comic
or tragic, is really of more importance than all
other ends in human life. What it all turns
upon is nothing less than the composition of
the next generation” (Schopenhauer, 1819)