Writing obituaries
And how to do rewrites
Obituaries
Unlike that 1934 film classic, death won’t
be taking a holiday today in this class.
In that film, remade in 1998 as Meet Joe
Black, Death pauses in his appointed
rounds to sample why people enjoy
living so much. He even falls in love.
Many folks have a fascination with
death. Some will even bet on him … or
at least Dr. Death the racehorse, that is.
(Where is Death?)
OBITS AND REWRITES
 In addition to police stories and recaps of government
meetings, one of the basic story forms you will routinely
do is an obituary.
 You have to keep in mind that, for most people, the only
story about them that ever makes it into a newspaper is
their obituary.
OBITS AND REWRITES
 Too often, obits read like they were dropped off a
conveyor belt or were computer-generated.
 They don’t tell you what the deceased was really like.
 Keep this in mind at all times when doing an obit: You
are summing up a person’s LIFE in a few words.
 Yes, the cause of death can be an important element,
but this is a story about life -- not death.
OBITS AND REWRITES
 Although bounded by taste and a sense of propriety, the
obit writer doesn’t have to follow all of the inverted
pyramid rules.
 A dash or two of writing flair is OK.
 Surveys show that obits are read by more than 50
percent of readers.
OBITS AND REWRITES
Note that obits are different from the paid mortuary
notices you often see. The morts are prepared by the
family with help from the funeral home. They are
often taken from a form or are simply written by a
relative/survivor. Obituaries are written by a representative
of an objective medium outside the family circle.
Some examples …
OBITS AND REWRITES
A sampling of some of the colorful obits included in Cool Dead
People, a book of obits compiled by Jane O’Boyle:
• Insurance agent and Montana conservationist Art
Aylesworth, best known as the "Bluebird Man" for his
work with the mountain and western bluebirds, who built
and gave away more than 35,000 bluebird nest boxes.
His efforts saved these two birds from extinction.
OBITS AND REWRITES
A sampling of some of the colorful obits included in Cool Dead
People, a book of obits compiled by Jane O’Boyle:
• Mel Fisher, who spent years diving for sunken treasure,
only to hit paydirt at the age of 62: Off Key West he
uncovered a $400 million cache of silver bars, gold,
emerald, diamonds, and pearls which had been lost on a
Spanish ship in 1622.
OBITS AND REWRITES
A sampling of some of the colorful obits included in Cool Dead
People, a book of obits compiled by Jane O’Boyle:
• The literary agent, Connie Clausen, who began her
career as an elephant rider in the circus.
OBITS AND REWRITES
A sampling of some of the colorful obits included in Cool Dead
People, a book of obits compiled by Jane O’Boyle:
• Then there’s the guy who cleaned typewriters for
Hollywood’s elite (elite, get it?) and the cleaning lady
who left $150,000 to a local college.
DANGER AREAS
 Since they generate such high reader volume, obits can
damage you and your newspaper’s credibility.
 Obits should be given the same attention to detail,
perhaps even more, as other news stories.
 Get the facts right.
 Get the names right.
Varying from the inverted pyramid
 Obit leads often include the subject’s name.
 It’s often awkward and insensitive to use the “blind lede”
approach on obits.
 Feel free to use the name but make sure to supplement
it with an appropriate identifier.
Some safety tips for obit writers
1. Confirm the spellings of all names, particularly the
deceased.
2. Check the addresses of funeral homes, churches,
cemeteries etc. Be careful about publishing the
deceased’s address – don’t assist any burglars.
3. Check the birth date against the age. Movie stars lie.
4. Verify with the mortuary or family any obit phoned or
faxed in.
5. Check the archives or Google for previous stories about
the deceased. Are past personal problems relevant?
Some safety tips for obit writers
6. Don’t replace “died” with the silly euphemisms you see in
the paid mortuary notices.
7. Don’t use “sudden death” unless you are talking about
football. “Died unexpectedly” is probably what you want.
Also, you don’t die of “an apparent heart attack,” rather
“you apparently died of a heart attack.”
8. On giving places of birth, avoid the use of the phrase “a
former native.”
9. Check AP for religious references and titles of clergy,
places of worship. Mass is capped.
10. Don’t misspell “cemetery”
Some safety tips for obit writers
11. Watch out for gossip and potentially libelous phrases:
“He was the black sheep of the family” or “She had been
living in sin with …”
12. Reporting or not reporting the cause of death can be
controversial, especially in the time of AIDS.
13. Be careful with stories about suicides.
14. Include the MAJOR survivors, service participants.
15. Include pertinent information about funeral services,
wakes, etc. Masses are celebrated, not said.
16. Include info on contributions, donations for funeral
expenses.
Kicking it up a notch
 The inverted pyramid style is a wonderful device for
providing information while maintaining a proper tone
and taste.
 Ledes that begin “John W. Doe, 57, died of a heart
attack Sunday …” or “Funeral services will be held
Sunday for John W. Doe….” are fine. But try to find
some distinguishing characteristics about the deceased
person that would make readers wish they had known
them.
 The best way to accomplish that is through sensitivity
and good reporting skills.
LOOKING FOR DETAILS
Read Pages 92-93 of text
(Note that this checklist can apply
to living subjects as well)
LOOKING FOR DETAILS
Robin Hinch, Orange County Register
In an obit, feature or many news stories, one writer can
sometimes step out of the pack and stand alone by
including important, insignificant details, such as:
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
Name (any story behind it?)
Nickname (why that nickname?)
Height and weight
Build (husky, slender, etc.)
Hair (color and style)
Dress, style of dress, sense of style
Occupation (how long, what before)
LOOKING FOR DETAILS
Robin Hinch, Orange County Register
In an obit, feature or many news stories, one writer can
sometimes step out of the pack and stand alone by
including important, insignificant details, such as:
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
Education (where)
Residence
Previous residence
Raised where
Smokes (what brand)
Drinks (what kind)
Marital status
LOOKING FOR DETAILS
Robin Hinch, Orange County Register
In an obit, feature or many news stories, one writer can
sometimes step out of the pack and stand alone by
including important, insignificant details, such as:
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
Age
Family
Military background
Tone of voice
Gestures
Temperament
Religion
LOOKING FOR DETAILS
Robin Hinch, Orange County Register
In an obit, feature or many news stories, one writer can
sometimes step out of the pack and stand alone by
including important, insignificant details, such as:
–
–
–
–
–
–
–
Hobbies / outside interests
Clubs / organization
Voice cadence / accent
Favorite sayings, expressions
Values
Introvert / extrovert
Eye contact
LOOKING FOR DETAILS
Robin Hinch, Orange County Register
In an obit, feature or many news stories, one writer can
sometimes step out of the pack and stand alone by
including important, insignificant details, such as:
–
–
–
–
–
Smile
Excess jewelry or lack of jewelry
Makeup
Hat
Speech connectors ("and, uh…" "ya know", "Like, uh," "well,
um")
– Scene indicators (wall décor, messy desk, orange sofa with
thread-bare cushions)
– Books in bookcase
Getting people to open up
Death is a time when families
close ranks and close their
mouths
Getting people to open up
-- Make it clear that doing a story on this person is entirely
up to the family. "Is this something your family would
like? Are you the one who would like to speak for the
family? I know this is a difficult time, but I want our
readers to know a little bit about your loved one -- what
can you tell me about him (her)?"
-- Don't be afraid to ask personal questions. They can
refuse to answer, but more often than not, they'll tell you
lots of interesting things. “How did he (she) meet his
wife?”
Getting people to open up
-- Need a way to start the conversation? Turn the person
being interviewed into a fact checker. “The funeral notice
indicates Joe was born in Muleshoe in 1937. Is that
correct?”
-- Find a follow-up question for every answer that's given,
seeking greater detail. You learn the deceased had a
favorite sweater. "Oh really, what color? Was it tattered?
How long had he had it?" Or, he loved his car. "Did he
use it every weekend? Would he let other people drive
it? Did he get many tickets in it?"
-- If people start to cry, ask a practical question. It snaps
them out of tears. "What kind of car did he (she) drive?"
Or "What was his (her) favorite TV program?”
Getting people to open up
-- Be willing to listen to the longest, most drawn-out
anecdotes or recounting of a long illness, even if you
know you won't use. Good detail can come from those
discussions and a comfort level develops for those
talking to you.
-- Insert yourself into the conversation where it's
appropriate. This lets the family know you're human and
understand what they are going through. "My son is the
exact age of your son and was a rebel at 13, too." Or, "I,
too, am horribly disorganized about paper work. Tax time
is my biggest dread." It helps put people at ease.
ADVANCE OBITS
Being prepared
ADVANCE OBITS
 Since the hour of anyone’s death is privileged
information, those of us in the news business have to be
at the ready.
 That’s why we keep a computer file filled with obits that
can be put into print at a moment’s notice.
ADVANCE OBITS
Writing advance obituaries of the great and the famous is a
time-honored tradition in the news business.
One of the better-known practitioners of this art, Alden
Whitman of the New York Times, was the subject of a
celebrated profile by Gay Talese that appeared in Esquire
in 1966.
The title of the article was: "Mr. Bad News," a reference to
Whitman’s practice of interviewing his subjects while they
were still among the living.
ADVANCE OBITS
Perhaps the ultimate in macabre obituaries appeared in the New
York Times in July 2003.
The obit, of comedian Bob Hope, had been written in
advance by the paper’s chief film critic, Vincent Canby, who
himself had died in 2000. The Hope obit, updated by other
Times staffers, ran under Canby’s byline. "Dead men tell no tales
— except at the New York Times," wrote Keith Kelly in the New
York Post.
(Note: An obit on football legend Sammy Baugh, who died in
December 2008, was done by the Chronicle’s Neil Hohlfeld, who
had died in July 2008.)
The basic obit form
• The lede: Can use name, cause of death, life
achievements, what they were known for, age at time of
death, location of death. The news is the person’s death.
• Supporting grafs: Would have info not in the lede.
Reaction from friends and family. More details on
significant life achievements. Background (place of birth,
parents, education, military service etc.). Marriage and
family information. Anecdotes from their life.
• Near the end: info on memorial services and burial,
survivors, pallbearers or distinguished visitors, charitable
donation information
OBIT TIPS ON THE WEB
Obit examples
Straight news lede
vs. delayed lede
OBIT TIPS ON THE WEB
Writing About the Dead and Loving It
Giving the Dead Their Due
The Rewards of the Obit Beat
Want to Live Forever? Write Your Own Obit
How an obit can go wrong
The New York Times did an
obit on longtime White
House photographer Joe
O’Donnell, who claimed to
have shot this famous photo
of JFK Jr. saluting his father
caisson. But the truth behind
the photo gets a bit hazy …
(see attached story)
REWRITES
Rewrites
In April 2005, a “Shoe” comic strip – drawn by cartoonist Jeff MacNelly
until his death in 2000 and then taken over by his wife and partners –
depicted a barroom scene between his ethically challenged “Senator”
character and one of the senator’s aides. The senator tells the aide that
the speech that was written for him was “vague and incoherent.” The
aide apologizes and says he will go rewrite it immediately. “No!,“ shouts
the Senator. “Don’t do that! That’s exactly what I’m looking for.”
REWRITES: Why do it?
Wire stories: Stories from wire services such as AP are written for a
general audience. Stories from subscriber services, such as the NY
Times, LA Times and Wash Post, tend to targeted at audiences in
those markets.
– The local angle or local impact that meets YOUR needs may be
buried, or not present at all.
– A reporter may have to gather information to “localize” the story
and then may have to rewrite the story to get the local angle
higher.
– Or, the writer may have to “combine” information from several
wire stories.
– Some papers, like the NY Times, refrain from using wire copy -they try to put a staff byline on everything.
REWRITES: Why do it?
News releases: You will almost never run a news release exactly as
sent to you. A well-written news release, however, may need only a
few cosmetic changes.
– A story that announces promotions at a local company, for
example, may require little more than checking the spelling of
the names or adjusting for AP style.
– But journalists, who are advocates for the public, should realize
that PR practitioners are, at heart, advocates for their company
or product. So judge the news release through that prism.
– Watch out for “puffery” or what’s not being told.
– Those company promotions might have been the result of mass
indictments of the previous top brass.
REWRITES: Why do it?
Staff stories: Reporters can’t stay on the job for 24 hours, and they
can’t be everywhere it once. They may have to feed their information
to a designated “rewrite” man back at the shop.
– New information may be made available after the reporter has
gone, or there may be wire copy that adds quotes or fills holes.
– An on-duty reporter or editor may have to rewrite the original
story to reflect the new details.
– Also, sometimes a story may have multiple reporters contributing
information and quotes -- often a reporter back at the shop will
be assigned to write the lede and organize the material into a
story.
REWRITE DANGER AREAS
REWRITE BEWARES
News judgment:
– As alluded to above, make sure you aren’t missing the lede.
– The real news may be buried under all the information you’ve
gathered -- or someone could be hiding it from you.
– Don’t take news releases at face value -- look for what’s missing.
REWRITE BEWARES
Transition:
– Make sure the story still flows.
– In theory, the inverted pyramid style should make it easier to
update/rewrite stories.
– Also, check those first references to names -- they may have
been deleted or perhaps the full name is repeated.
REWRITE BEWARES
Style, spellings:
– News services and PR agencies use often use their own style.
– Reuters uses British spellings such as “honour” instead of
“honor.”
– The LA Times uses “Quaddafi” instead of “Khadafy.”
– Some folks use “Usama” instead of “Osama.”
EXERCISES
EXERCISE FOR GRADE
• Write an obituary of eight to 15 paragraphs
• Use a published source (obit or paid mortuary item) or
do an obit on yourself.
– Don’t call family members (unless you know them personally).
• Try to put the significant life achievement(s) in the lede
along with how and when the person died.
EXERCISE FOR EXTRA CREDIT
• Use the news release from Southwest Airlines and the
additional information provided to write a five- to eightparagraph story. Look at the photo and judge for yourself
whether this was a simple mishap or a near-tragedy.
• Extra credit will be applied to an overall story grade.
Rewrite extra credit
Southwest jetliner ends up in a gas station – check out the prices.