10 most common mistakes made in the Anthem essay
1. Use of you…this paper is not about me, it’s about you.
2. Incorrect pronoun case. Equality and me both were individuals because…Equality and I
3. Verb tense shifts- stick with one or the other.
4. (Rand 34). This is the ONLY way to cite your quote.
5. MLA Format- Heading needs to be double spaced on the left hand side of your paper. All essays have a title and are
double spaced.
6. Drive by quoting…remember you must introduce the quote AND explain the importance of the quote (What does it
mean and why did you include the quote in your essay?).
7. equality- Equality. This is his name. It is a proper noun and, therefore, capitalized.
8. Transitions between paragraphs…remember you need to tie one paragraph to another so your reader sees the
connections between topics. Consider verbally explaining how the ideas in the previous paragraph link with the
current paragraph. This will probably include references to the novel.
9. One idea per paragraph. Some of you jumped around but didn’t relate ideas together for the reader.
10. Missing commentary. Many of you provided examples but did not go back and explain HOW those examples relate to
your thesis and the novel.
Essay Revisions- REQUIRED!
If you did not hand in your essay, you must revise and essay given to you.
1. Fix grammar mistakes. You must open up a new word document. Write the incorrect sentence (1 pt), the correct
sentence (2 pts) and why you needed to fix the sentence. (2 pts) Max 15 pts
Example:
Incorrect sentence: You can see equality developing as an individual when he investigates this big tunnel underground
and discovers electricity.
Corrected sentence: The reader can see Equality developing as an individual when he finds a tunnel underground and
eventually discovers electricity, something the society he lives in lacks.
Rationale: I needed to avoid using “you” because you refers to the reader and I need to avoid referring directly to the
reader. I then capitalized Equality as it is a proper noun. I also changed investigates to finds because Equality first found
the tunnel then he eventually discovered the electricity. I added something the society lacks because the reader needs to
know that discovering electricity was important as the society didn’t even have electricity.
2. Fix content mistakes. In the same word document, type your corrected content mistakes in a new paragraph. The
paragraph must be complete and not only contain the missing components. You must hand in your graded essay with
your corrections to receive credit. Must correct at least ONE paragraph (20 pts each) May correct more than ONE
paragraph.
Example: Corrections to paragraph 1
As Equality grows up, he begins to realize that to maintain happiness he must act upon his individual choices. After he
finds the tunnel from the Unmentionable Times, Equality begins to use the tunnel as a place of self-discovery. He not only
learns about himself but studies science. He eventually discovers electricity using wires left in the tunnel and artifacts
stolen while he swept the streets near the Home of the Scholars. Equality’s discovery of electricity was significant because
he lived in a society that had done away with modern technology like electricity. The members of society relied on candles
for light and once Equality made his discovery, he knew he had just developed a way to better his society. He wanted to
share this discovery with those in control so the rest of his society could benefit from his invention. Equality, like most in
our society, believed that his work as an individual would benefit society. The leaders in the society believed otherwise as
they feared work done by individuals. No man in their society had ever done such a thing and they didn’t want to consider
the implications of such individual thought. Obviously this was detrimental to society because they couldn’t use this
individual discovery to make their lives better. Equality didn’t want to be told that his ideas were not valuable and he was
disappointed in the response from the leaders of the society.
ALL revisions must be submitted NO LATER than Friday, December 12. Please let me know if you need help after
school.
Essay Revisions- REQUIRED!
If you did not hand in your essay, you must revise and essay given to you.
3. Fix grammar mistakes. You must open up a new word document. Write the incorrect sentence (1 pt), the correct
sentence (2 pts) and why you needed to fix the sentence. (2 pts) Max 15 pts
4. Fix content mistakes. In the same word document, type your corrected content mistakes in a new paragraph. The
paragraph must be complete and not only contain the missing components. You must hand in your graded essay with
your corrections to receive credit. Must correct at least ONE paragraph (20 pts each) May correct more than ONE
paragraph.
ALL revisions must be submitted NO LATER than Friday, December 12. Please let me know if you need help after
school.