What is the significance of the title Talk Thai?
My mother, when I was younger, used to post The Rules on the refrigerator door. These rules
kept me in line, reminded me that I was supposed to be a proper Thai boy and nothing else. Her
intentions were to bring me up Thai, even though we lived in a bi-level in Chicago, even though
I attended an American elementary school and watched American TV. Her biggest fear was that
America would sweep me away, and I would lose all sense of where our family came from, lose
all sense of familial and cultural loyalty. Because of this, she created The Rules. Talk Thai was
one of those rules. In the house, with my three parents—my mother, father, and Aunty Sue—I
was to communicate in no other language but Thai.
How does the setting of the south side of Chicago affect this story? Does the immigrant
experience in Chicago differ from the immigrant experience elsewhere?
Chicago was the place of my parents’ greatest joy—the birth of their only son—and the place
they felt most exposed. My mother and aunt arrived in Chicago in 1968 and my father a couple
of years later. Their lives began again here. It’s like that for many immigrants. You move to a
place so unlike home, a place where you do not know the language, a place with different foods
and weather. The rhythm of the city doesn’t quite match your internal rhythms. You have to
relearn everything; you have to relearn how to survive. For my parents, Chicago was the place
with buildings that cast long shadows, where the lake roared like the ocean, and the winter wind
whipped fiercely. My parents had to learn how to drive…in snow. They bought an entirely
different wardrobe because they realized the clothes they brought with them from their tropical
country would not do well here. They had to overcome language barriers, and racism, since their
arrival came on the coattails of the Vietnam War.
Still, Chicago wasn’t all that isolated. A great many other Thai immigrants were coming to the
city. They formed a community, built a temple, and began marrying and having children, and
suddenly, the community began to grow. The Thai Buddhist Temple of Chicago was the key to
my parents’ happiness. Even though they were far from their families, far from their native
homes, only twenty minutes away were people who were in the same position, who missed and
understood the same things. Chicago is one of only a handful of cities with a Thai temple and a
large Thai community. That made it a bit easier.
How would you say being a Buddhist affected the way you saw the world you grew up in? How
do you think America felt about Buddhism when you were growing up?
Buddhism played such a large role in my life that I really didn’t notice it. I know that sounds
strange, but growing up in a Buddhist family, I was saturated in religion. Our language, our
threats were Buddhist. My mother told me if I lied, I would be reincarnated as an ant with a tiny
mouth. A statue of Buddha was in almost every room. A Buddha pendant hung around my neck.
I attended Sunday school at temple every Sunday, where monks taught Buddhism, or as I like to
call it, Suffering 101. I knew Buddhist prayers as soon as I could talk. Buddhism was folded into
our family culture.
My classmates in elementary school didn’t know what to make of the weird Buddhist boy in
class. To them, Buddha was the fat bald guy they saw in Chinese restaurants. I always had to
inform them that my Buddha worked out; he was in good shape and wore a pointy hat. I must
admit, however, I was jealous of them because of God. Because most of them were Christian,
and because most of my younger years I tried so hard to fit in, I wanted what they had. In one of
the chapters of the book, I describe Jesus as a Mattel toy everybody had but me.
What does your mother think about the book?
She thinks I make her too funny. Other than that, she says the right things: she’s proud of me and
yada, yada, yada. She ordered 10 copies already and promises to give them to her sisters and
brothers, who don’t read English.
Seriously, it’s hard to tell what she thinks. She’s quick to communicate about some things, but
complex emotions aren’t included in that. In fact, I’m working on another book that tries to
examine where some of that reticence comes from: is it Thai? Buddhist? Her family’s culture?
Or just one of the ways she survived so long in a country she never quite trusted?