Catching Happiness:
Putting Positive Psychology
into Practice
Bill O’Hanlon
www.billohanlon.com
New book out in June 2011
2
What is Positive Psychology?
Research evidence about what works in human life; what
makes people happier; what gives their lives a sense of
satisfaction and meaning; what helps them function
better;
Also called “Subjective Well-Being”
Psychological studies are biased toward
the negative
Psychological publications
and studies dealing with
negative states
outnumbered those
examining positive states
by a ratio of 17 to 1 in a
survey done in 1995.
Myers, D. and Deiner, E. (1995) “Who is
Happy?,” Psychological Science,
6:10-19.
Therapy has had a negative bias
The Power of Negative Thinking
“I was going to buy a copy of The Power of
Positive Thinking, and then I thought:
What the hell good would that do?”
–Ronnie Shakes
This comes in part from the
Freudian legacy
 Freud thought the best we could
hope for was “ordinary misery.”
 He questioned the quest for
happiness and indeed, all our
motives, and ascribed dark
impulses and infantile wishes to
them.
Relevant research
People who are in a more positive mood are
better liked by others and more open to
new ideas and experiences.
Fredrickson, Barbara. (1998). “What good are positive
emotions?” Review of General Psychology, 2:300-319.
Negative talk shown to increase
stress hormones
A recent study shows that extensive discussions of
problems and encouragement of ‘‘problem talk,’’
rehashing the details of problems, speculating about
problems, and dwelling on negative affect in particular,
leads to a significant increase in the stress hormone
cortisol, which predicts increased depression and
anxiety over time.
Byrd-Craven, J., Geary, D. C., Rose, A. J., & Ponzi, D. (2008). “Coruminating increase stress hormone levels in women,” Hormones and
Behavior, 53, 489–492.
The essence of this approach
Discover what works and what’s going well
Focus on what can enhance rather than
merely fix human life
Focus on resources rather than problems
Identify strengths and use those in the
service of change
Seligman’s List of Virtues/Signature Strengths:
Six areas [The Reverse-DSM]
Wisdom and Knowledge
Courage
Love and Humanity
Justice
Temperance
Spirituality and Transcendence
Find this list and some self-tests at:
www.viacharacter.org
Wisdom and Knowledge
Cognitive strengths that entail
the acquisition and use of
knowledge
Wisdom and Knowledge
Curiosity and interest in the world
Love of learning
Judgment
Critical thinking
Open-mindedness
Ingenuity
Originality
Practical intelligence
Emotional intelligence
Perspective
Courage
Emotional strengths that
involve the exercise of will to
accomplish goals in the face of
opposition, external or internal
Courage
Valor and bravery
Perseverance
Industry
Diligence
Integrity
Genuineness
Honesty
Love and Humanity
Interpersonal strengths that
involve “tending and
befriending” others
Love and Humanity
Kindness
Generosity
Loving and allowing oneself to
be loved
Justice
Citizenship
Duty
Teamwork
Loyalty
Fairness and equity
Leadership
Justice
Civic strengths that underlie healthy
community life
Temperance
Strengths that protect against excess
Temperance
Self-control
Prudence
Discretion
Caution
Humility
Modesty
Transcendence
Strengths that forge connections to
the larger universe and thereby
provide meaning
Transcendence
Appreciation of beauty and excellence
Gratitude
Hope
Optimism
Future mindedness
Spirituality
Sense of purpose
Faith, religiousness
Forgiveness and mercy
Playfulness and humor
Zest, passion and enthusiasm
Relevant research
Two studies show that focusing on or creating pleasant experiences enhances our
learning or performance abilities.
 Kids who were asked to spend 30 seconds remembering happy things did
better on learning tasks they were given just after remembering the happy
stuff.
 Internists who were given some candy or who watched a funny video (vs.
reading humanistic statements about medicine and a control group) did
better at diagnosing a hard-to-diagnose case of liver disease.
References:
Masters, J., Barden, R. and Ford, M. (1979). "Affective states, expressive behavior, and learning in
children," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 37:380-390
Isen, A, Rosensweig, A. and Young, M. (1991). "The influence of positive affect on clinical problem
solving," Medical Decision Making, 11:221-227.
How to apply this to changework
 End sessions with compliments or pleasant topics
 Or at the very least, neutral topics and emotional tones
Caveats and Challenges
Much of this research is new and preliminary
Some of it is correlational and some of it is
experimental
 Much of is not done by and for clinicians or
pointed toward practical uses, so it takes
some translation
 We will have to wait to find out what really
works in clinical settings
Happiness defined
Pleasure/positive emotions
+engagement
+meaning
=Happiness
There are some benefits of happiness
Happy people:
 Are half as likely to die over the same time period as
others
Danner, D.D., Snowdon, D.A. & Friesen, W.V. (2001). “Positive emotions in early
life and longevity: Findings from the Nun Study,” Journal of Personality and
Social Psychology, 80:804-813.
Diener, Ed and Seligman, Martin. (2002). “Very happy people,” Psychological
Science, 13:81-84.







Half as likely to be disabled
Live longer than average
Have better health habits
Have lower blood pressure
Have more robust immune systems
Are more productive on the job
Are able to tolerate more pain
There even seem to be economic benefits
to happiness
Cheerful college students ended up
earning $25,000 more per year than
their dour counterparts.
King, Laura and Lyubomirsky, Sonja. (2005). “The benefits of frequent positive
affect: Does happiness lead to success?” Psychological Bulletin, 131:803-855.
Happiness and longevity
 Happiness both seems to prevent people from
falling ill and reduce stress (which is associated
with inflammation, which is associated with chronic
and acute illnesses)
 Happiness is also associated with better health
habits, which likely is a factor in the longevity of
happy people
Veenhoven et al. (2008). “Healthy happiness: effects of happiness on physical health and the consequences for
preventive health care,” Journal of Happiness Studies, 9(3):449.
Siahpush, M, Spittal M, Singh GJ. (2008). “Happiness and life satisfaction prospectively predict self-rated health,
physical health, and the presence of limiting, long-term health conditions,” American Journal of Health
Promotion, 23(1).
Moskowitz, J.T. (2003). “Positive affect predicts lower risk of AIDS mortality,” Psychosomatic Medicine, 65:620-626.
Danner, D., Snowdon, D. and Friesen, W. (2001). “Positive emotions in early life and longevity: Findings in the nun
study,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80:804-813.
Happiness is relatively stable
One year after winning the lottery or becoming
quadriplegic, people’s happiness level return to
where they were before the drastic change of
circumstance (Happiness Set Point; genetically
influenced but not fixed)
Brickman, P.; Coates, D.; and Janoff-Bulman, R. (1978). “Lottery winners and accident
victims: Is happiness relative?” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 36:917-27.
There are some things that seem to permanently
increase happiness levels
People are generally pretty bad at predicting what
will make them happy
Estimates of contributors to happiness and
where we can influence happiness levels
Life circumstances
 Country
 Level of national income
 Comparative income
 Job security
 Meaningful work/life
 Age
Genetic/temperament factors

Set point for happiness
 Explanatory style
 Depression tendencies
Haidt’s Formula
H=S+C+V
H = your general happiness level
S = your happiness set point
C = your life conditions
V = your voluntary activities
Haidt, Jonathon. (2006). The Happiness Hypothesis. NY:
Basic.
Happiness is challenging
"The Constitution only guarantees the
American people the right to pursue
happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”
–Benjamin Franklin
Problems with deliberately pursuing
happiness

We are bad at predicting what will make us
happy
• We overestimate the negative effects of bad
stuff
• We overestimate the lasting
happiness/satisfaction that will result from
good stuff
 Our preferences change
 Habituation/the hedonic treadmill
The Hedonic Treadmill
"When we have an experience -- hearing a particular
sonata, making love with a particular person,
watching the sun set from a particular window of a
particular room–on successive occasions, we quickly
begin to adapt to it, and the experience yields less
pleasure each time. Psychologists call this
habituation, economists call it declining marginal
utility, and the rest of us call it marriage" (p. 130).
From Dan Gilbert’s Stumbling On Happiness
The Paradox of Happiness:
Happiness eludes us when we try to get or create it directly
“The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of
unhappiness.” –Eric Hoffer
“If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a
pretty good time.” –Edith Wharton
Trying to be happy or monitoring your
happiness blocks happiness
People were told to monitor their happiness or try to
be more happy while listening to Stravinsky’s Rite of
Spring. People who merely listened to it reported more
happiness afterward than people who were monitoring
their happiness or trying to be happy while listening.
Schooler, J., Ariely, D. and Lowenstein, G. (2003). “The pursuit of
happiness can be self-defeating,” in Brocas and Carillo (Eds.) The
Psychology of Economic Decisions, Vol. 1, pp. 41-70. NY: Oxford
University Press.
But all is not lost; one can increase
happiness (but not directly)
Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of
happiness; it is generally the by-product of other
activities. –Aldous Huxley
Does money make us happy?
“Money can’t buy
happiness, but
neither can
poverty.” –Leo
Rosten
Looking for joy in all the wrong
places
A study by Tim Kasser at Knox College in
Galesburg, Illinois, found that young
adults who focus on money, image and
fame tend to be more depressed, have
less enthusiasm for life and suffer
more physical symptoms such as
headaches and sore throats than
others (The High Price of Materialism,
MIT Press, 2002).
Money and happiness
 Americans who earn $50,000/year are much
happier, in general, than those who earn
$10,000/year
 But those who earn $5 million/year are not
substantially happier than those who earn $100,000
 People who live in poor countries are less happy
than those who live in moderately wealthy
countries; but those who live in moderately wealthy
countries are not much happier than those who live
in very wealthy countries.
Source: Happiness: Lessons from a New Science by Richard Layard,
Penguin, 2005.
Four Keys to Unlock Happiness
S.O.A.P.
Social Connections
Optimism
Appreciation (Gratitude)
Purpose (greater than oneself)
S.O.A.P.
Social Connections
and
Happiness
Social connections and happiness
Countless studies document the link between society and
psyche: people who have close friends and confidants,
friendly neighbors, and supportive co-workers are less likely
to experience sadness, loneliness, low self-esteem, and
problems with eating and sleeping.
The single most common finding from a half century's research
on the correlates of life satisfaction, not only in the United
States but around the world, is that happiness is best
predicted by the breadth and depth of one's social
connections.
Putnam, Robert D. 2000. Bowling alone: the collapse and
revival of American community. New York: Simon &
Schuster, p. 332)
Relationships
“By far the greatest predictor of
happiness in the literature is
intimate relationships.” – Sonja
Lyubomirsky, researcher at UCRiverside, author of The How of
Happiness
Connection can help reduce PTSD
• Being with someone else during an earthquake is
protective against PTSD
Armenian, H. et. Al. (2000). “Loss as a determinant of PTSD in a cohort of adult
survivors of the 1998 earthquake in Armenia: Implications for policy,” Acta
Psychiatr. Scand., 102(1):58-64.
• Post-traumatic stress disorder sufferers in group
treatment recovered at a significantly higher rate
(88.3%) than those in individual treatment (31.3%)
Beck, J. et.al. (2009).“Group Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Chronic
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: An Initial Randomized Pilot Study,” Behavior
Therapy, 40(1):82-92.
Positive social talk matters
 The amount and type of parental talk to infants varied between
disadvantaged families and those who had higher incomes and education
 Disadvantaged parents generally talked less than advantaged (10 million
words vs. 80 million words)
 Disadvantaged parents directed more “discouragements” (no; shut up;
stop) to their kids (200,000 vs. 80,000 “encouragements” [chit chat;
positive comments; gossip; joking; running commentary; praise])
 Advantaged parents had a reversal of this ratio (500,000 encouragements
to 80,000 discouragements)
 It turns out that these differences have profound and hard to reverse
effects on intellectual and academic achievement (vocabulary growth and
standardized intellectual achievement tests measured at ages 3 and 9)
Hart, B. and Risley, T. (1995). Meaningful Differences in the Everyday
Experience of Young American Children. Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes
Publishing Company
Social connections are at risk in modern
societies
 Shared family dinners and family vacations are down over a
third in the last 25 years
 Having friends over to the house is down by 45% over the last
25 years
 Participation in clubs and civic organizations is down by over
50% in the last 25 years
 Church attendance is down by about a third since the 1960s
Putnam, Robert D. (2000). Bowling Alone: The collapse and
revival of American community. New York: Simon & Schuster.
See also: http://www.bettertogether.org/
Social connections are at risk in modern
societies
65% of Americans spend more time
with their computers than with
their spouses
Kelton Research, the "Cyber Stress" study, Digital Home
Services, Parks 2007
Even in severe poverty, social
connections help happiness levels
Robert Biswas-Diener and Ed Diener surveyed
life satisfaction of the homeless and
prostitutes living in the slums of Calcutta
and found that healthy bonds with family
and good social relationships were
correlated with higher life satisfaction
levels.
Biswas-Diener, R. and Diener, E. (2001). “Making the
best of a bad situation: Satisfaction in the slums of
Calcutta,” Social Indicators Research, 55, 329-352.
Happiness and social connections
 People with five or more close friends
(excluding family members) are 50% more
likely to describe themselves as “very happy”
than respondents with fewer.
 One survey of 800 college alumni showed that
classmates who valued high income, job
success and prestige more than close friends
and a loving marriage were twice as likely to be
“fairly” or “very” unhappy.
Relatedness and happiness
research finding
 Most of us are happier during the weekends
 Why?
 Relatedness
 Autonomy
 Researchers randomly beeped 74 adults aged 18-62 over 3 weeks and
asked them to rate how they felt, how close they felt to others they
were with and whether they felt competent and autonomous
Ryan, R. M., Bernstein, J. H., & Brown, K. W. (2010). “Weekends, Work, and Wellbeing:
Psychological Need Satisfactions and Day of the Week Effects on Mood, Vitality, and
Physical Symptoms.” Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 29, 95-122.
Two kinds of social connections
One-to-one: friendships; pets; marriage;
intimate partnerships; child-parent
Group/community connections:
neighborhoods, interest groups, church
communities, professional or work groups,
groups of friends, sports teams, military
units, support groups and so on
Connective rituals
A review of 50 years of research (32 studies) on family rituals showed that regular routines had a positive effect on
health and family relationships
Common routines:
 Dinnertime
 Bedtime
 Chores
 Talking on the phone
 Visiting with relatives
Typical family rituals:
 Birthdays
 Holidays
 Family reunions
 Funerals
 Religious rituals and services
Fiese, Barbara H.; Tomcho, Thomas J.; Douglas, Michael; Josephs, Kimberly ; Poltrock, Scott; and Baker, Tim. (2002)."A
Review of 50 Years of Research on Naturally Occurring Family Routines and Rituals: Cause for Celebration?," ;
Journal of Family Psychology, Vol. 16, No. 4.
Using a positive psychology to
improve relationships
Relevant research
Happily married couples say 5 positive
remarks for every negative remark, even
when having conflicts
Couples who are headed for divorce use
less than 1 (0.8) positive remarks for every
negative one
Source: Gottman, J., Gottman, J. And DeClaire, J.(2006).
10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage. NY: Crown.
Infidelity/fidelity and positive
interactions in relationships
Couples with a 2.4 to 1 ratio of positive
interactions (nodding, smiling, eye contact)
to negative (eye rolling, scowling,
expressing contempt) were more likely to
experience infidelity after being married
than couples with a 4 to 1 positive to
negative interaction ratio
Allen, E., et.al. (June 2008). “Premarital Precursors of Marital Infidelity,”
Family Process, 47(2):243-259.
Positive Illusions in Relationships
Sandra Murray and colleagues at SUNY Buffalo have done
many research studies in which they have found that if
one sees one’s partner more positively than they see
themselves, the relationship is better (rated more
positively and satisfying). Also it helps to reframe their
negative qualities as assets.

Murray, S. L., & Holmes, J. G. (1993). “Seeing virtues in faults: Negativity and the transformation of interpersonal
narratives in close relationships,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 65, 707-722.

Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., Dolderman, D., & Griffin, D. W. (2000). “What the motivated mind sees: Comparing friends'
perspectives to married partners' views of each other,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 36, 600-620.

.Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Griffin, D. W. (1996). “The benefits of positive illusions: Idealization and the construction of
satisfaction in close relationships,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 70, 79-98.

Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Griffin, D. W. (1996). “The self-fulfilling nature of positive illusions in romantic relationships:
Love is not blind, but prescient,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71, 1155-1180
S.O.A.P.
Optimism
and
Happiness
Optimism and Positive Psychology
 What we can learn from some psychotically optimistic dogs
Pessimistic vs. Optimistic Styles
Pessimistic explanatory style
Bad stuff is:
Permanent and will persist;
Pervasive;
Out of my control
Reflects:
My resourcelessness;
Bad qualities (“I’m such a loser”)
Pessimistic vs. Optimistic Styles
Optimistic explanatory style
Bad stuff is:
Time and context limited (“I am just going through a rough
patch”; or “This job sucks”);
Under my influence
I possess good and resourceful qualities
Good to know
Optimistic and pessimistic styles and tendencies are relatively
stable traits, but they can be affected by actions and
changed focus of attention
One study found that even naturally pessimistic people who spent one
week doing exercises in which they:
 Identified and wrote down times in the past in which they were at
their best
 Wrote down their personal strengths
 Expressed gratitude to someone they had never properly thanked
 Wrote down three good things that happened that day
Were happier when their happiness levels were measured 6 months later
Seligman, M., Stern, T., Park, N & Peterson, C. (2005). “Positive Psychology progress:
Empirical validation of interventions,” American Psychologist, 60: 410-421.
Creating or restoring hope
Rehabilitating or inviting people into preferred,
compelling positive futures
Elspeth McAdam
. . . A young girl I was working with had experienced
abuse. She walked into my office as a very large girl
with shaved hair, tattoos on her head, and I don't think
she had showered in a week. I had been asked to see
her because she was so angry. She clearly didn't want
to come and see an expletive expletive shrink. She
was very angry at being there. I just said to her,
'You've talked to everybody about your past. Let's talk
about your dreams for the future.' And her whole face
just lit up when she said her dream was to become a
princess. In my mind I could not think of two more
opposite visions–but I took her very seriously. I asked
her about what the concept of princess meant for her.
Elspeth McAdam
She started talking about being a people's princess who would
do things for other people, who would be caring and
generous and a beautiful ambassador. She described a
princess who was slender and well dressed. Over the next
few months, we started talking about what this princess
would be doing. I discovered that, while this girl was 14
and hadn't been attending school for a long time, the
princess was a social worker. I said, 'Okay it is now ten
year's time and you have trained as a social worker. What
university did you go to?' She mentioned one in the north
of England. I asked, 'What did you read [study] there?' She
said, 'I don't know, psychology and sociology and a few
other things like that.' Then I said, 'Do you remember when
you were 14? You'd been out of school for two or three
years. Do you remember how you got back in school?'
Elspeth McAdam
She said, 'I had this psychiatrist who helped me.' I said,
'How did she help you?' And she started talking about
how we made a phone call to the school. I said, "Who
spoke? Did you or her?' She replied, 'The psychiatrist
spoke but she arranged a meeting for us to go to the
school.' I said, 'Do you remember how you shook hands
with the head teacher when you went in? And how you
looked and what you wore?' We went into these minute
details about what that particular meeting was like–
looking from the future back. And she was able to
describe the conversations we had had, how confident
she had been, how well she had spoken, and the
subjects she had talked about. I didn't say any more
about it.
Elspeth McAdam
About a month after this conversation she said to
me, 'I think it's about time we went to the
school, don't you? Can you ring and make an
appointment?' I asked if she needed to talk about
it anymore and she said no, that she knew how
to behave. When we went into the school she
was just brilliant. I first met that girl ten years
ago. Now she is a qualified social worker. She
fulfilled her dream–although she didn't go to the
university she mentioned.
Future-Orientation Research
 Participants in a study were asked to write down their ideal future, in
which all had gone well and they had met their desired hopes and
goals, for a few minutes on 4 consecutive days
 Control groups were asked to write about a traumatic event that had
happened to them for those minutes on 4 days; another was asked to
write about life goals as well as a trauma; another control group was
asked to write about their plans for the day on those 4days
 Results: The “future-oriented” group reported more subjective wellbeing after the experiment than the controls; the trauma and “futureoriented” groups both had less illness when followed up 5 months later
King, L.A. (2001). “The health benefits of writing about life goals,” Personality and Social
Psychology Bulletin, 27:798-807.
Expectancy talk
 When; will
 How quickly?
 Yet; so far
 After; before
Letter From The Future
 Have the client write a letter from their future self to their current self
from a place they are happier and have resolved the issues that are
concerning them now
 From [five years/two months/ten years/one year] from now; let your
intuition and their response guide the time frame; adjust as necessary
 Have them describe where they are, what they are doing, what they
have gone through to get there, and so on
 Have them write about the crucial things they realized or did to get
there or write about some crucial turning points that led to this future
 Give themselves some sage and compassionate advice from the future
Letter From The Future
Use these questions to guide their letter writing:
What have you learned and gained perspective on since back in [fill in
the present date/year]?
What things were you worried or frightened about in those days that
seem trivial or far away for you today?
What problems seemed overwhelming or insurmountable in those days
that you did eventually resolve or overcome?
What sage advice would your future self give to that present self?
What comfort or reassurance would your future self give to your present
self?
Who were you troubled by, frightened by or concerned with that now
doesn’t matter as much?
Exercise: Future Self Letter
 Try writing the future letter to yourself to find out what
it feels like from the inside out
 Try the method with one of your clients/patients within
the next few weeks
Hope comes from believing your
efforts can make a difference
Carol Dweck and colleagues gave children a fairly simple puzzle and
told half the kids a comment that told them they were smart and
the other half that they must have worked hard to solve the
puzzles. Then they offered them a choice of simple or challenging
puzzles. 90% of the kids who were praised for effort chose the
difficult puzzles; a majority of the kids who were praised for
intelligence chose the easier ones. Then all the kids were given
some difficult puzzles. Then some that were about as easy as the
initial ones. The “work hard” kids did 30% better than they had in
the initial scores, while the “intelligence” kids scores declined by
20%.
A. Cimpian et. al (2007). “Subtle Linguistic Clues Affect Children’s
motivations,” Psychological Science, 18:314-316.
Working backwards from the future

When we are done with therapy and things are better, what will be
happening in your life?

What could you do, think or focus on during the next while that would
help you move a little bit in that direction or would at least be
compatible with it?

If your problem disappeared, what would be different?

•
In your relationships?
•
In your daily life?
•
In your thinking or focus of attention?
•
In your actions?
•
In any other areas?
Is there any part of that you could start to implement in the near future?
GET A FREE COPY OF THE SLIDES
Future Pull
“The best thing about the future
is that comes only one day at a
time.” –Abraham Lincoln
S.O.A.P.
Appreciation
and
Happiness
Appreciation
Awe
Gratitude
Thankfulness
Recognizing grace (unearned
blessings)
Showing and expressing appreciation
to others
Mindfulness
Savoring
Appreciation/Gratitude
Two aspects: Acknowledgment and recognition
 Acknowledgment:
• Noticing
• Affirming
 Recognition
• That the things we are grateful for came in part from
outside ourselves
Source: Emmons, Robert. (2007). Thanks: How the new science of
gratitude can make you happier. NY: Houghton Mifflin.
Appreciation/Gratitude
“The aim of life is
appreciation.”
–G.K. Chesterton
The Gratitude Exercise
At the end of each day, after dinner and before going to sleep, write down
three things that went well during the day. Do this every night for a
week. The three things you list can be relatively small or large in
importance. After each positive event on your list, answer in your own
words the question: “Why did this good thing happen?”
This exercise was found to increase happiness and decrease depression up
to 6 months after the week. [Note: 60% of participants carried on the
habit.]
Seligman, M.; Steen, T.A.; Park, N.; and Peterson, C. (2005). “Positive psychology
progress: Empirical validation of interventions,” American Psychologist, 60:410421.
Three Aspects of Appreciation
1. Highlighting Gratitude to Oneself: Note to oneself
things that one can be grateful for on a weekly basis
2. Savor: Note to oneself or others what one
appreciates aesthetically, like a beautiful sunset, a
good meal, and so on
3. Expressing Gratitude to Others: Express appreciation
to those people one values and is grateful to
Gratitude/appreciation

Expressing gratitude has a short-term positive
effect (several weeks) on happiness levels (up to a
25% increase)
 Those who are typically or habitually grateful are
happier than those who aren’t habitually grateful
Park, N. Peterson, C. and Seligman, M. (2004). “Strengths of character and wellbeing among youth,” Unpublished manuscript, U. of Rhode Island.
Appreciation/Gratitude Research 1
People who noted weekly the things they were
grateful for increased their happiness levels 25%
over people who noted their complaints or were just
asked to note any events that had occurred during
the week.
Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An
experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389
Gratitude Letters
In research studies, both initiator and recipient of a
gratitude letter report positive outcomes.
Instructions: Write a gratitude letter to a person you
choose, expressing your gratitude and for what and
why, specifically, you are grateful.
If at all possible, deliver it personally and ask the
person to read the letter in your presence.
If personal delivery is not possible, mail, fax, or email
the letter and follow up with a phone call.
Source: Chris Peterson, A Primer in Positive Psychology
Savoring
Savor: To appreciate fully; enjoy or relish - American
Heritage Dictionary
 Pay full attention; engage
 Use as many of the senses as you can (sight, sound, touch,
taste, smell)
 Don’t multi-task; focus on what you are experiencing or
perceiving
 Don’t overdo; savoring diminishes due to the hedonic
adaptation if done too much or too often
 Share it with others
Three Types of Savoring
Anticipating something good [Futureoriented savoring]
Enjoying something in the present
moment [Present-oriented savoring]
Remembering something pleasurable
from the past [Past-oriented savoring]
Past-oriented savoring methods
Replaying happy days
Keeping a savoring photo album
Remembering acts of kindness
Recalling best moments
Present-oriented savoring methods
 Cellphone-, email-, TV-, computer-free time periods
 Sensory focus moments (VAKGO)






Watching sunrise or sunset
Feeling the breeze with eyes closed
Smelling food or environmental scents
Tuning in to bodily sensations
Tasting/savoring food
Slow eating with no distractions
 Mindfulness practices
 Tuning in to feelings of the moment
Future-oriented savoring methods
 Vividly imaging an anticipated event
 Imagining what the future without
some current hassle or problem
would be
 Exploring your best possible future
self
 Your ideal day
Relational savoring
Ellen Langer and Leslie Coates Burpee found
that couples relationships are more rewarding
when partners use mindfulness to notice
variations in their partners rather than
generalizing (“You are always distracted.” or
“You are never spontaneous.”).
Burpee, L. and Langer, E. (2005). “Mindfulness and marital satisfaction,” Journal of Adult
Development, 12: 43-51.
S.O.A.P.
Purpose/meaning
and
Happiness
The Meaningful Life and
Happiness
Several studies with older Americans find that one of the best
predictors of happiness is whether or not a person thinks his
or her life has a purpose. If they had no such sense of
purpose, seven out of ten people studied felt unsettled about
their lives; if they had a sense of purpose seven out of ten felt
satisfied.
Lepper, H. (1996). In Pursuit of Happiness and Satisfaction in
Later Life: A Study of Competing Theories of Subjective WellBeing. Ph.D. Dissertation, UC Riverside.
The Meaningful Life and
Happiness
College students who enjoyed their lives and studies were
compared to those who didn’t. The main difference was that
those students who were happier had an underlying sense of
purpose in life.
Rahman, T. and Khaleque, A. (1996). “The purpose in life and
academic behavior problem students,” Social Indicators
Research, 39:59.
Elements of the Meaningful Life
 Purpose
 Contribution
 Engaging work or activities
 Finding meaning in suffering
 Turning negative or hurtful events into happiness or
satisfaction with positive connotations or meaning
What animates your life?
Recognize what brings you alive or animates
you
Finding and connecting with the source of your
energy and uniqueness
Recognizing and claiming your own voice and
sensibility
Howard Thurman
Don't ask yourself what the
world needs. Ask yourself what
makes you come alive, and go do
that, because what the world
needs is people who have come
alive.
The Four Energies That Give You
Direction and Purpose
Blissed
Blessed
Pissed
Dissed
Flow
•Focused concentration
•Absorption
•Feeling strong and alert
•Effortless control
•Unselfconscious
•At the peak of one’s abilities
•Sense of time disappears or stretches out
•Transcendence
•Mindfulness/present moment focus
Source: Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow, New York: Harper, 1990.
Leonard Cohen
There’s a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.
Wounded
I thank God for my handicaps, for through them I
have found myself, my work and my God. Helen Keller
Real suffering burns clean; neurotic suffering
creates more and more soot. - Marion Woodman
Wounded/Cursed/Indignation
to Life Direction/Purpose
 Where have you been wounded?
 Where or about what have you been cursed?
 Where have you or someone you care about been
disrespected or treated unfairly?
 How have these experiences sensitized you to the
problems or suffering in this area?
 What do you think you might be able to do to
relieve or prevent similar suffering for others in
the future?
 How could you turn this wound, curse or
disrespect into a blessing, a vocation, a calling, or
a life or career direction?
Compassion/Contribution/Service
When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty
small package. –John Ruskin
The Dead Sea (no outlet) vs. The Sea of Galilee
(outlet)
Contribution and Compassion
It’s Not About You!
“We make a living by what we
get. But we make a life by what
we give.” –Winston Churchill
Albert Schweitzer
You must give something to your fellow
men. Even if it is a little thing, do
something for those who have need
of help, something for which you get
no pay but the privilege of giving. . .
The only ones among you who will be
really happy are those who will have
sought and found how to serve.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Rings and jewels are not
gifts, but apologies for
gifts. The only gift is a
portion of thyself.”
Relevant research
Life satisfaction was shown to increase 24%
with the level of altruistic activity in the
person’s life.
Williams, A., Haber, D., Weaver, G. and Freeman, J. (1998).
“Altruistic activity,” Activities, Adaptation, and Aging, 22:31.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life's most persistent and urgent
question is: What are you
doing for others?
Contribution
U of Michigan study by Stephanie Brown
•
423 older couples- 5 year study
•
Couples who reported (unpaid) helping someone else even
as little as once a year were between 40 and 60% less
likely to die than those who reported not helping anyone
else during the previous year
•
Examples: volunteering, babysitting for grandchildren;
assisting family members
Brown, Stephanie; Nesse, Randolph; Vinokur, Amiram; and Smith, Dylan. (2003). “Providing
Social Support May Be More Beneficial Than Receiving It: Results From a Prospective
Study of Mortality” Psychological Science, 14:320–27.
I, Me, Mine as a clue to suicide
 About 300 poems from the early, middle and late
periods of nine suicidal poets and nine non-suicidal
poets — from the 1800s to the present — were compared
using the computer text analysis program, Linguistic
Inquiry and Word Count (LIWC)
 Textual analysis of poets who committed suicide shows
more use of the words “I,” “me,” and “mine,” when
compared with poets who died of natural causes.
Shannon Wiltsey Stirman and James Pennebaker. (2001).
“Word Use in the Poetry of Suicidal and Nonsuicidal
Poets,” Psychosomatic Medicine, 63:517-522.
Laura King, U of Mo.
“People who want to live a more
fulfilling life should quite
reading self-help books and
start helping others.”
(quoted in Biswas-Diener, R. and Dean, B. (2007).
Positive Psychology Coaching, NY: Wiley.)
W.H. Auden
We are all here on earth to help others;
what on earth the others are here for I
don’t know.
Acceptance of self and
others/developing compassion
Compassion
Passion=Feeling
Com=with
Compassion Training
 Training and practice in lovingkindness meditation
and “lojong” (mind training: proverbs to help shift
consciousness, such as):




Find the consciousness you had before you were born
Treat everything you perceive as a dream
Be grateful to everyone
When everything goes wrong, treat disaster as a way to wake up
 Was found to be correlated with:
 Decreased reactivity to stress
 Decreased inflammation
Pace, T. et. al (2009). “Effect of compassion meditation on neuroendocrine,
innate immune and behavioral responses to psychosocial stress,”
Psychoneuroendocrinology, 34(1): 87-98.
Compassion Research
 Brain scans (fMRI) of long-time meditating Tibetan Buddhist monks
compared with controls noted:
 Decreased stress
 Increased activity in brain areas related to empathy
 Increased baseline activity in left pre-frontal cortex (associated with
happiness in other studies)
Lutz A, Brefczynski-Lewis J, Johnstone T, Davidson RJ. (2008). “Regulation of the
Neural Circuitry of Emotion by Compassion Meditation: Effects of Meditative
Expertise.” PLoS ONE 3(3): e1897. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0001897
Forgiveness
"Forgive," according to Webster's New World Dictionary, means:
"to give up resentment against or the desire to punish;
pardon; to overlook an offense; to cancel a debt.”
For more on this subject, visit:
http://www.loveandforgive.org/
http://www.forgiving.org/
Forgiveness
Robert Enright, Ph.D., an educational psychologist at the
University of Wisconsin-Madison, stresses that true
forgiveness is not:
･Forgetting. If the hurt wounded you enough to require
forgiveness, you may always have a memory of it.
･Excusing or condoning. The wrong should not be denied,
minimized, or justified.
･Reconciling. You can forgive the offender and still choose
not to reestablish the relationship.
･Weakness. You do not become a doormat or oblivious to
cruelty.
Forgiveness research
The act of forgiveness can result in:
Less anxiety
Less depression
Better health outcomes
Increased coping with stress
Increased feelings of closeness to God and others
 Worthington, E.L. (ed.) (1997). Dimensions of
Forgiveness: Psychological Research & Theological Perspectives.
PA: Templeton Foundation Press.
Forgiveness steps/process
R.E.A.C.H.
Recall the hurt
Emotional shift
Altrusitic gift of forgiveness for the transgressor
Commitment to emotional shift
Hold onto the forgiveness
Worthington, E.L. (ed.) (1997). Dimensions of Forgiveness: Psychological
Research & Theological Perspectives. PA: Templeton Foundation Press.
Forgiveness research
25 patients with diagnosed stage-1 hypertension who
received forgiveness training achieved significant
reductions in anger expression when compared to the
control group.
Participants who started the program more angry achieved
significant reductions in blood pressure.
Tibbits, D., Ellis, G., Piramelli, C., Luskin, F., & Lukman, R. ( 2006).
“Hypertension reduction through forgiveness training,” Journal of Pastoral
Care and Counseling. 60(1-2):27-34.
Forgiveness research
20 women who had been emotionally abused in relationships
were assigned to either forgiveness training or training in
anger validation, assertiveness and interpersonal skill
building.
Women in the forgiveness group showed significantly greater
improvement in trait anxiety, PTSD, self-esteem, amount of
forgiveness, environmental mastery and finding meaning in
suffering.
Reed, G.L et.al (2006). Journal of Clinical Psychology, October, 920-929.
Forgiveness research
Carlsmith, Gilbert and Wilson created an experiment with a planted
confederate in a group who took financial advantage of the others in
the group. After being taken advantage of, participants were given the
opportunity to financially punish the offender and were asked before
they did so how they thought getting revenge would make them feel.
They all predicted it would be cathartic and would make them feel
better. But in fact they ended up feeling worse.
They ruminated about the person and the wrong more when they sought
revenge. Those who forgo revenge minimize the wrong and “move on.”
Carlsmith, Gilbert and Wilson. (May 2008). “The paradoxical consequence of
revenge,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Vol. 95, No. 6).
Forgiveness research
By exacting revenge, people think
more about the person and the
event. "Rather than providing
closure, it does the opposite: It
keeps the wound open and fresh.”
Kevin Carlsmith, Colgate University
Forgiveness Letter
Think of the people who have wronged you whom you have
never explicitly forgiven, although you would like to do
so.
Write a letter, not necessarily to be sent, to one of these
individuals describing in concrete terms why you forgive
him or her.
Do not send this letter unless you really want to do so and are
sincere in your forgiveness.
Derived from Chris Peterson’s A Primer in Positive Psychology. NY: Oxford
University Press, 2006.
One way to think of forgiveness
“Turning the other cheek turns out to have selfish
advantages. Someone who does you an injury hurts you
twice: first by the injury itself, and second by taking up
your time afterward thinking about it. If you learn to
ignore injuries you can at least avoid the second half. I've
found I can to some extent avoid thinking about nasty
things people have done to me by telling myself: this
doesn't deserve space in my head. I'm always delighted to
find I've forgotten the details of disputes, because that
means I hadn't been thinking about them. My wife thinks
I'm more forgiving than she is, but my motives are purely
selfish.” –Paul Graham
Fred Luskin’s idea on forgiveness
 It moves the person from a victim story to a hero story
 Some has been active rather than passive
 They have chosen to forgive a wrong; that involves
seizing their power back from the other person or the
situation
Forgiveness
“Never does the human soul appear so
strong and noble as when it forgoes
revenge and dares to forgive an
injury.” –E.H. Chapin
Forgiveness
“Always forgive your enemies;
nothing annoys them so much.”
–Oscar Wilde
3 Pillars of Positive Psychology
 Positive subjective experience of the past, present and future
 Investigation of positive individual characteristics: the strengths
and virtues
 Positive institutions and positive communities
Source: M. Seligman, in Flourishing, ed. by Keyes and Haidt
What does make us happy?:
The “big seven”
 Family relationships (good relationships)
 Financial situation (up to a certain level)
 Work (being employed and having meaningful work)
 Community and friends (good connections)
 Health (subjective sense of good health)
 Personal freedom (feeling of government
oppression/restriction vs. freedom)
 Personal values (belief in God or bigger purpose or
meaning)
Source: U.S. General Social Survey
Four Key Findings
S.O.A.P.
Social Connections
Optimism
Appreciation (Gratitude)
Purpose (greater than oneself)
A Mnemonic: P.O.S.I.T.I.V.E.
Purpose/Meaning
Optimism
Social Connections
Increased Gratitude/Appreciation
Take care of others
Income above a certain level
Vocational security
Exercise
Egyptian Afterlife Entry Questions
Have you found joy in your life?
Has your life brought joy to others?
Source: The Bucket List, starring Morgan Freeman and Jack
Nicholson
Seligman’s summary
There are three levels to happiness:
 Pleasure, the delight you get from chocolate, fast cards, and sex;
engagement;
 The feeling of “flow” you get when you’re doing something you’re good
at; and.
 Meaning, the fulfillment you get from being engaged in an effort greater
than yourself. Pleasure is ephemeral and contributes very little to real
happiness… but meaningful engagement brings lasting contentment.
“It’s pretty simple, actually. Figure out what you’re good at. And then
apply your strengths to a greater purpose. And don’t forget to
cultivate optimism along the way.”
Best advice for happiness and life
satisfaction
 Practice gratitude
 Have lots of good social interactions and relationships
 Lower your expectations and don’t compare yourself to
others that you might think are better off and would
provoke envy
 Find secure work with meaning
 Practice service and contribution to others and the world
 Develop an optimistic thinking style
 Focus on hopeful futures
 Exercise regularly (preferably with someone else)
An irreverent perspective
“Happiness is nothing more than
good health and a bad memory.”
–Albert Schweitzer
Best Summary Books
Martin Seligman, Authentic Happiness
Chris Peterson, A Primer in Positive Psychology
Sonja Lyubomirsky, The How of Happiness
Eric Weiner, The Geography of Bliss
Dan Gilbert, Stumbling On Happiness
Resources
Journal of Happiness Studies
www.authentichappiness.org
www.pos-psych.com
www.ppc.sas.upenn.edu
www.bus.umich.edu/Positive
www.viastrengths.org
www.centreforconfidence.co.uk
www.psych.uiuc.edu/~ediener
people.virginia.edu/~jdh6n
www.faculty.ucr.edu/~sonja
89.234.4.50/cappeu/index.aspx
Bill O’Hanlon’s info
Websites:
http://www.BillOHanlon.com
www.PublishingaBook.com
http://www.PaidPublicSpeaker.com
www.PossiBillSentMe.com
Email:
Bill@BillOHanlon.com