Communication
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Definition
Exchange of
information by
two or more
parties through a
medium of
transmittal such
as writing,
speaking, or
signaling
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How It Works
Noise!
… or doesn’t work
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Three Types
 Verbal: expressed in
spoken or written
language
 Non-verbal: does not
rely on the written or
spoken word
Grrr…
 Virtual
Synchronous
takes place in real time,
simultaneous
Asynchronous
takes place at
different times
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COMUNICATION
THE KEY TO
EFFECTIVE
ACTIVE LISTENERS
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

Maintain eye contact
Are patient
Focus on the topic
Have an open mind
Do not argue
mentally
Tune out distractions
Lean forward and sit
up straight
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PASSIVE LISTENERS

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Slouch or lean back
Look around
Get frustrated
easily
Get angry at the
speaker
Daydream
Prejudge
Argue mentally
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Interference

Selective Listening

Semantics
◦ The listener filters the
message through a
narrow set of
expectations
◦ Meaning can change
with the frame of
reference
◦ May create a barrier
to listening
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Favorite Quote about
Listening
“I know that you believe you
understand what you think I said,
but I'm not sure you realize that
what you heard is not what I
meant.”
(attributed to Robert McCloskey,
U.S. State Department spokesman,
by Marvin Kalb, CBS reporter, in TV Guide, 3/31/84,
citing an unspecified press briefing during the Vietnam War)
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To Listen Effectively

Get your mind on the subject

Anticipate

Recognize key ideas
◦ Collect your thoughts, review, prepare and show up
◦ Think ahead about where the talk is headed
◦ Listen for specific themes and main ideas
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To Listen Effectively

Be an aggressive and active
listener
◦ Engage with the speaker

Listen critically

Don’t value wit and charm
over wisdom
◦ Approach subjects with an open mind
◦ Consider different viewpoints and ideas
◦ You never know what you may learn
◦ Personality and humor are pluses, but
do not substitute for content value
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Core Listening Skills

Evaluate the content, not the delivery

Leave your emotions at the door

Listen for what is not said

Eliminate distractions

Listen for major ideas

Listen for key words

Keep an open mind

Stop talking
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Find Out More!

ITT Tech Virtual
Library
◦ Self-Assessment
Library: Working
with Others
Communication Skills
“How good are
my listening
skills?” selfassessment
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Difficult Conversations

Require trust
◦ Safety
◦ Respect
◦ Acknowledgement

Require mutual
interest
◦ Common ground
◦ Win-win
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To create a safe space
 Note when others
withdraw or attack
• Both are responses
to threat
 Note how you feel in
response to others
• What makes you feel
at risk?
 Note the effect you
are having on others
• Diminish threat
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To create a safe space
 Show respect for
others
Recognize your own
challenges,
weaknesses, or errors
 Consider other
points of view with
an open mind
Check that you
understand clearly
 Look for common
interests and
mutual benefits
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To build trust
Acknowledge feelings
• Never pretend they
don’t show
• If you ignore your own
emotional response or
that of another, you
damage trust
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To build trust
Accept criticism
•
•
Evaluate its merit
Choose to
•
•
•
ignore it
follow it
or to take issue with it
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Techniques
Avoid
generalizations:
 Always
 Never
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Techniques
Avoid
characterization:

You are…
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Techniques
Avoid “You” Statements
You are always
late
You never do
your share
You messed up
the presentation
You’re a liar
You don’t have a
clue
Use “I” Statements
I feel stressed when
you get here 20
minutes after the time
we agreed to meet
I was worried about
our group grade when
everyone else did four
slides and you only did
one
I felt hurt and angry
when you blamed me
for the error
Quiz!
 I feel stupid when I ask you
Which
to explain what you mean
statement
and you just roll your eyes
and don’t answer me
on the right
is NOT
 I feel disrespected when
really an
you call me pipsqueak
“I”
statement?

I feel that you are an idiot
Quiz!
 I feel stupid when I ask you
Which
to explain what you mean
statement
False “I”
and you just roll your eyes
on
the right
statements
and don’t answer me
are
just
is
NOT
disguised
really
an
 I feel disrespected when
“You”
“I”
you
call
me
pipsqueak
statements
statement?
and do the
same
damage

I feel that you are an idiot
Peer Review
Giving feedback
 Ask before offering
 Be mindful of environment
 Be specific
 Identify strengths, not just what
is wrong
 Give suggestions for
improvement and helpful
references to course content
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Peer Review
Receiving feedback
 Let peers know if the timing
or location doesn’t work for
you
 Assume all have your best
interest at heart
 Be open to input and nondefensive
 Ask questions if you are
unclear
 Ask how you could have
done things differently
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