Interpersonal Communication

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Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou
diordan@otenet.gr
Department of Communication, Media and Culture
Panteion University, Athens Greece
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Interpersonal Communication
Positive relationships create positive energy
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Interpersonal communication
To establish mutually satisfying relationships and relate well
with others
Effective interpersonal communication depends on the sender’s
ability to get the message across and the receiver’s performance
as an active listener
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Contents
 The communication process
 The electronic communication
 Empathy
 Supportive communication
 Persuasive communication
 Assertive communication
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
The communication process model
SENDER
Form
message
RECEIVER
Encode
message
Transmit
message
Receive
encoded
message
Decode
message
Encode
feedback
Form
feedback
Barrieres
(Noise)
Decode
feedback
Receive
encoded
feedback
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Transmit
feedback
12A: Getting your message across
The Broken Telephone (Chinese Whispers)
OBJECTIVE:
To help participants recognize the barriers to effective communication
ESTIMATED TIME: 20-30 min.
DESCRIPTION:
This game is very popular around the world.
One person transmits a message to another, which is passed through a line of 5 people until
the last player announces the message to the entire group. Errors typically accumulate in
the retellings, so the statement announced by the last player differs significantly, and often
amusingly, from the one uttered by the first.
Message: Tomorrow morning at 9.30 you should go to Nikis Ave. where the Olympic Air
company is, in order to receive a parcel with some spare parts for Peter's ruler. Before you
go drop by Anne's office to get some cash to pay for it. When you take it leave it at Jim's
office and if he is not there ask John to give you the keys.
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Getting your message across
Communication Barriers
 Different codebooks (symbols, language,
gestures..)
 Cross - cultural differences (Thumb up has a
different meaning in Brazil than in Australia)
 Unfamiliarity with the message topic
 Values, norms
 Previous experiences
 Emotions
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Means of communication
 Face to face communication
- Verbal communication
- Non verbal communication (body language)
- Management by walking around (MBWA)
- Telephone and voice mail
- Videoconferencing
 Electronic (computer- mediated) communication
(e-mails, text messaging, chat rooms, social media)
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
12B: Group Discussion

OBJECTIVE: To help participants exchange views one new means of
communication

ESTIMATED TIME: 20-30 min.

DESCRIPTION:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of the introduction of electronic
communication and other information technologies (wikis, intranet) in
organizations?
You have been hired as a consultant to improve communication between
engineering and marketing staff in a large high technology company. Use the
models and theories you have been taught to suggest actions in this direction.
Source: McShane& Van Glinow (2009) p. 185
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Choosing the best
communication medium
Which communication channel is most appropriate in a particular situation?
Social influence
 personal preferences
 organisational norms
 symbolic meaning of channel
Media richeness
 lean vs rich medium
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Media Richness Theory
 Media richness theory is based on contingency theory and
information processing theory. The two main assumptions of this
theory are that people want to overcome equivocality and
uncertainty in organizations and a variety of media commonly used
in organizations work better for certain tasks than others (Daft &
Lengel 1984).
 A communication channel has high richness when it is able:
 to convey multiple cues simultaneously
 to facilitate rapid feedback
 to customise the message to the receiver
 to utilise non verbal communication
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Media Richness Theory
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Information overload
…occurs when the volume of information received exceeds the
persons’ capacity to get through it. It leads to:
 miscommunication
 misinterpretation of information
 Workplace stress
 Reduced work performance
Ways to reduce it:
 Filtering (deal with it, plan future action, send, store, throw away)
 Summarising
 Delegating
 Time management
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Urgent and Important
The watch
(obligations, meetings, projects deadlines)
or
The compass
(vision, mission, desires, values, direction)
Being busy is not enough.
The important thing is to know what you are busy with and why …
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Urgent and Important (Covey 1989)
URGENT
IMPORTANT
NOT
IMPORTANT
• Daily jobs
• Meetings
• Phone calls
• Appointments
• Deadlines
• Crises
• Mails
• Unexpected events
• Some meetings
• Other people’s
priorities
• Pressuring deadlines
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
NON URGENT
• Thought
• Health
• Real recreation
• Goal-setting
• Colleague development
• Family
• Personal development
• Mails
• Routine jobs
• Time wasters
• Some phone calls
• TV watching
Meetings
The ideal meeting is held between two people, one of which is absent
Many managers in UK,
Australia, USA, spend as
much as 60% of their
workday in meetings
 Why?
 When?
 Who?
 How?
Is this meeting really necessary?
Should it take place on a regular basis?
Who should and who shouldn’t attend?
Agenda
 Time limits (Beginning – End)
 Clear expectations
 Focus
 Preparation by everybody
 Environment (stand up meetings)
 Encouraging participation
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Empathy
1
2
3
4
Ignorance
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
5
6
7
8
Empathy
9
10
Identification
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Mirror neurons and empathy
Mirror neurons were discovered while scientists
observing monkeys’ brains, noticed that certain
cells activated both when a monkey performed an
action and when that monkey watched another
monkey perform the same action.
The existence of mirror neurons suggests an
extraordinary human capacity for empathy.
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Mirror neurons video
 Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzMqPYfeA-s
(duration 6.30 min)
 Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOd3N20XNC4
duration 7.30 min)
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Active listening
Sensing
 Postpone evaluation
 Avoid interruptions
 Maintain interest
Active listening
Responding
 Show interest
 Empathize
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Evaluating
Clarify the message
Organize information
Active listening
DO
 Maintain interest
 Clarify the message
 Reflect on content
 Empathize
 Reflect on feeling
 Organize information
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
DON’T
 Interrupt
 Tell your own story
 Give early advice
 Complete the sentence
12C: Active Listening Activities
OBJECTIVE: To help participants practicing active listening skills.
ESTIMATED TIME: 20-30 minutes
DESCRIPTION:
Ask participants to pick a partner and practice the following exercises:
1) One person will be the speaker and one will assume the role of listener. The speakers will
be asked to talk about any subject that they choose.
2) The listeners should use the active listening skills:
- Maintain interest
- Clarify the message
- Reflect on content
- Empathize
- Reflect on feeling
- Organize information
And avoid bad listening habits:
-
Interrupt
Tell their own story
Give early advice
Complete the sentence
Play the two roles interchangeably.
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Persuasive communication
 Process not just a fact
 A learning process where the speaker
leads the listener to a common problem
solving
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
PERSUASIVE COMMUNICATION
4 steps
1. Build your credibility (knowledge – relationships)
2. Discover common ground – mutual benefits
3. Communicate arguments vividly
4. Connect emotionally with the audience
5. Create alliances
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
BUILDING CREDIBILITY




Knowledge (having it, obtaining it, buying it)
Experience
Previous successes
Relationships (building them)
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Persuasive communication skills
Empathy
Self confidence
Communication
PERSUASIVE
COMMUNICATION
Networking
Assertiveness
Influence
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Steps in persuasive communication
Express a position
Listen to others
Create a new position
(win-win)
Express it to others
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Science of persuasion
The 6 principles of persuasion






Reciprocity
Scarcity
Authority
Consistency
Liking
Consensus
Robert Cialdini
Professor Emeritus of Psychology
and Marketing,
Arizona State University
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFdCzN7RYbw
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Supportive communication
8 attributes
-
Congruent
Descriptive
Problem oriented
Validating
Specific
Conjunctive
Owned
Supportive listening
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Not Incongruent
Not evaluative
Not person oriented
Not non validating
Not global
Not Disjunctive
Not Disowned
Not one way listening
Body language
 Body Language is a significant aspect of modern
communication and relationships.
 Body Language is therefore very relevant to management
and leadership, and to all aspects of work and business
where communications can be seen and physically
observed among people.
 In terms of observable body language, non-verbal (nonspoken) signals are being exchanged whether these signals
are accompanied by spoken words or not.
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Body language
Body language goes both ways:
 Your own body language reveals your feelings and
meanings to others
 Other people's body language reveals their feelings and
meanings to you
 The sending and receiving of body language signals
happens on conscious and unconscious levels.
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Social and physical distance
Proxemics can be defined as "the interrelated
observations and theories of man's use of space
as a specialized elaboration of culture”. Hall
emphasized the impact of proxemic behavior
(the use of space) on interpersonal
communication.
Intimate distance for embracing, touching or
whispering
Personal distance for interactions among
good friends or family memebers
Social distance for interactions among
acquaintances
Public distance used for public speaking
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
(Hall 1963)
Handshake
A remnant of prehistoric times when cavemen used to raise
their hands every time they met to show that they held no
weapons
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Types of handshake
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Dead fish handshake
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
The politician’s handshake
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Empathetic handshake
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Eye reading
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Aggressive - Defensive
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Self confident
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Mirroring
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
History Channel Secrets of body
language
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW9ztSUGY_Q
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Behavioural styles in communication
 Aggresive
 Manipulative
 Assertive
 Passive
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
12D: Communication Styles
Questionnaire
 OBJECTIVE: To help participants recognize their
communication style during social interactions.
 ESTIMATED TIME: 20-30 min.
 DESCRIPTION: The participants are asked to complete the
following questionnaire (p. 152)
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
What is assertiveness
 Being honest with yourself and with the others
 Taking responsibility for your own actions
 Behaving in an adult and rational manner
 Knowing your rights
 Recognizing other people’s rights
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Assertiveness helps you
 defend yourself against unfair judgement
 say “no" when you want to
 deal with the criticism you receive
 give feedback to others
 manage your anger and aggressiveness
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
A no that came out of a deep conviction, is much
better – and much greater – than a yes that was
said in order to please, or worse, to avoid trouble
Mahatma Ghandi
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
The 3 steps to assertiveness
1st step
Listen to the other person carefully and try to
understand what (s)he is telling you
2nd step
Say what you think and feel
3rd step Say what you would like to happen.
Suggest alternatives
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
3. Role plays - Assertiveness
John (supervisor)
He calls Anna to assign her a project that was
not properly accomplished by another team
member. John trusts Anna and tends to assign
her more than her role description requires.
Anna (employee)
Anna likes her job, she is conscientious,
effective, ambitious and eager to learn new
things. However, she is about to get married and
the preparations for the wedding make it
impossible for her to do overtime at work.
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
3. Role plays - Assertiveness
1. You have to evaluate a colleague pointing out some negative things (e.g.
late arrival in the morning)
2. The supervisor criticizes you on a certain topic fairly - unfairly
3. You have to talk to your supervisor about an issue concerning you or your
team
4. You are asked to undertake an assignment that you feel
inadequate to accomplish due to lack of experience.
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
12E: Case Study: A Dialogue between Manager
Kostas & Employee Nikos
 OBJECTIVE:
To help participants identify positive communication patterns (such as empathy,
supportive communication, active listening, and assertiveness) in the real workplace
 ESTIMATED TIME: 40 minutes
 DESCRIPTION: Read the case study and discuss the following questions as a
group:
1. Identify the sentences where both of the two persons demonstrate:
- Empathy
- Active listening
- Supportive communication
- Assertiveness
- Persuasive communication
2. Which of the sentences helped the most? Which sentence, in your opinion, could
provoke a defensive response or even stop the conversation?
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University
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