Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou diordan@otenet.gr Department of Communication, Media and Culture Panteion University, Athens Greece Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Interpersonal Communication Positive relationships create positive energy Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Interpersonal communication To establish mutually satisfying relationships and relate well with others Effective interpersonal communication depends on the sender’s ability to get the message across and the receiver’s performance as an active listener Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Contents The communication process The electronic communication Empathy Supportive communication Persuasive communication Assertive communication Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University The communication process model SENDER Form message RECEIVER Encode message Transmit message Receive encoded message Decode message Encode feedback Form feedback Barrieres (Noise) Decode feedback Receive encoded feedback Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Transmit feedback 12A: Getting your message across The Broken Telephone (Chinese Whispers) OBJECTIVE: To help participants recognize the barriers to effective communication ESTIMATED TIME: 20-30 min. DESCRIPTION: This game is very popular around the world. One person transmits a message to another, which is passed through a line of 5 people until the last player announces the message to the entire group. Errors typically accumulate in the retellings, so the statement announced by the last player differs significantly, and often amusingly, from the one uttered by the first. Message: Tomorrow morning at 9.30 you should go to Nikis Ave. where the Olympic Air company is, in order to receive a parcel with some spare parts for Peter's ruler. Before you go drop by Anne's office to get some cash to pay for it. When you take it leave it at Jim's office and if he is not there ask John to give you the keys. Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Getting your message across Communication Barriers Different codebooks (symbols, language, gestures..) Cross - cultural differences (Thumb up has a different meaning in Brazil than in Australia) Unfamiliarity with the message topic Values, norms Previous experiences Emotions Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Means of communication Face to face communication - Verbal communication - Non verbal communication (body language) - Management by walking around (MBWA) - Telephone and voice mail - Videoconferencing Electronic (computer- mediated) communication (e-mails, text messaging, chat rooms, social media) Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University 12B: Group Discussion OBJECTIVE: To help participants exchange views one new means of communication ESTIMATED TIME: 20-30 min. DESCRIPTION: What are the advantages and disadvantages of the introduction of electronic communication and other information technologies (wikis, intranet) in organizations? You have been hired as a consultant to improve communication between engineering and marketing staff in a large high technology company. Use the models and theories you have been taught to suggest actions in this direction. Source: McShane& Van Glinow (2009) p. 185 Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Choosing the best communication medium Which communication channel is most appropriate in a particular situation? Social influence personal preferences organisational norms symbolic meaning of channel Media richeness lean vs rich medium Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Media Richness Theory Media richness theory is based on contingency theory and information processing theory. The two main assumptions of this theory are that people want to overcome equivocality and uncertainty in organizations and a variety of media commonly used in organizations work better for certain tasks than others (Daft & Lengel 1984). A communication channel has high richness when it is able: to convey multiple cues simultaneously to facilitate rapid feedback to customise the message to the receiver to utilise non verbal communication Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Media Richness Theory Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Information overload …occurs when the volume of information received exceeds the persons’ capacity to get through it. It leads to: miscommunication misinterpretation of information Workplace stress Reduced work performance Ways to reduce it: Filtering (deal with it, plan future action, send, store, throw away) Summarising Delegating Time management Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Urgent and Important The watch (obligations, meetings, projects deadlines) or The compass (vision, mission, desires, values, direction) Being busy is not enough. The important thing is to know what you are busy with and why … Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Urgent and Important (Covey 1989) URGENT IMPORTANT NOT IMPORTANT • Daily jobs • Meetings • Phone calls • Appointments • Deadlines • Crises • Mails • Unexpected events • Some meetings • Other people’s priorities • Pressuring deadlines Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University NON URGENT • Thought • Health • Real recreation • Goal-setting • Colleague development • Family • Personal development • Mails • Routine jobs • Time wasters • Some phone calls • TV watching Meetings The ideal meeting is held between two people, one of which is absent Many managers in UK, Australia, USA, spend as much as 60% of their workday in meetings Why? When? Who? How? Is this meeting really necessary? Should it take place on a regular basis? Who should and who shouldn’t attend? Agenda Time limits (Beginning – End) Clear expectations Focus Preparation by everybody Environment (stand up meetings) Encouraging participation Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Empathy 1 2 3 4 Ignorance Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University 5 6 7 8 Empathy 9 10 Identification Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Mirror neurons and empathy Mirror neurons were discovered while scientists observing monkeys’ brains, noticed that certain cells activated both when a monkey performed an action and when that monkey watched another monkey perform the same action. The existence of mirror neurons suggests an extraordinary human capacity for empathy. Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Mirror neurons video Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzMqPYfeA-s (duration 6.30 min) Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOd3N20XNC4 duration 7.30 min) Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Active listening Sensing Postpone evaluation Avoid interruptions Maintain interest Active listening Responding Show interest Empathize Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Evaluating Clarify the message Organize information Active listening DO Maintain interest Clarify the message Reflect on content Empathize Reflect on feeling Organize information Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University DON’T Interrupt Tell your own story Give early advice Complete the sentence 12C: Active Listening Activities OBJECTIVE: To help participants practicing active listening skills. ESTIMATED TIME: 20-30 minutes DESCRIPTION: Ask participants to pick a partner and practice the following exercises: 1) One person will be the speaker and one will assume the role of listener. The speakers will be asked to talk about any subject that they choose. 2) The listeners should use the active listening skills: - Maintain interest - Clarify the message - Reflect on content - Empathize - Reflect on feeling - Organize information And avoid bad listening habits: - Interrupt Tell their own story Give early advice Complete the sentence Play the two roles interchangeably. Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Persuasive communication Process not just a fact A learning process where the speaker leads the listener to a common problem solving Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University PERSUASIVE COMMUNICATION 4 steps 1. Build your credibility (knowledge – relationships) 2. Discover common ground – mutual benefits 3. Communicate arguments vividly 4. Connect emotionally with the audience 5. Create alliances Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University BUILDING CREDIBILITY Knowledge (having it, obtaining it, buying it) Experience Previous successes Relationships (building them) Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Persuasive communication skills Empathy Self confidence Communication PERSUASIVE COMMUNICATION Networking Assertiveness Influence Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Steps in persuasive communication Express a position Listen to others Create a new position (win-win) Express it to others Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Science of persuasion The 6 principles of persuasion Reciprocity Scarcity Authority Consistency Liking Consensus Robert Cialdini Professor Emeritus of Psychology and Marketing, Arizona State University http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFdCzN7RYbw Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Supportive communication 8 attributes - Congruent Descriptive Problem oriented Validating Specific Conjunctive Owned Supportive listening Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Not Incongruent Not evaluative Not person oriented Not non validating Not global Not Disjunctive Not Disowned Not one way listening Body language Body Language is a significant aspect of modern communication and relationships. Body Language is therefore very relevant to management and leadership, and to all aspects of work and business where communications can be seen and physically observed among people. In terms of observable body language, non-verbal (nonspoken) signals are being exchanged whether these signals are accompanied by spoken words or not. Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Body language Body language goes both ways: Your own body language reveals your feelings and meanings to others Other people's body language reveals their feelings and meanings to you The sending and receiving of body language signals happens on conscious and unconscious levels. Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Social and physical distance Proxemics can be defined as "the interrelated observations and theories of man's use of space as a specialized elaboration of culture”. Hall emphasized the impact of proxemic behavior (the use of space) on interpersonal communication. Intimate distance for embracing, touching or whispering Personal distance for interactions among good friends or family memebers Social distance for interactions among acquaintances Public distance used for public speaking Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University (Hall 1963) Handshake A remnant of prehistoric times when cavemen used to raise their hands every time they met to show that they held no weapons Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Types of handshake Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Dead fish handshake Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University The politician’s handshake Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Empathetic handshake Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Eye reading Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Aggressive - Defensive Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Self confident Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Mirroring Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University History Channel Secrets of body language http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW9ztSUGY_Q Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Behavioural styles in communication Aggresive Manipulative Assertive Passive Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University 12D: Communication Styles Questionnaire OBJECTIVE: To help participants recognize their communication style during social interactions. ESTIMATED TIME: 20-30 min. DESCRIPTION: The participants are asked to complete the following questionnaire (p. 152) Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University What is assertiveness Being honest with yourself and with the others Taking responsibility for your own actions Behaving in an adult and rational manner Knowing your rights Recognizing other people’s rights Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Assertiveness helps you defend yourself against unfair judgement say “no" when you want to deal with the criticism you receive give feedback to others manage your anger and aggressiveness Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University A no that came out of a deep conviction, is much better – and much greater – than a yes that was said in order to please, or worse, to avoid trouble Mahatma Ghandi Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University The 3 steps to assertiveness 1st step Listen to the other person carefully and try to understand what (s)he is telling you 2nd step Say what you think and feel 3rd step Say what you would like to happen. Suggest alternatives Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University 3. Role plays - Assertiveness John (supervisor) He calls Anna to assign her a project that was not properly accomplished by another team member. John trusts Anna and tends to assign her more than her role description requires. Anna (employee) Anna likes her job, she is conscientious, effective, ambitious and eager to learn new things. However, she is about to get married and the preparations for the wedding make it impossible for her to do overtime at work. Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University 3. Role plays - Assertiveness 1. You have to evaluate a colleague pointing out some negative things (e.g. late arrival in the morning) 2. The supervisor criticizes you on a certain topic fairly - unfairly 3. You have to talk to your supervisor about an issue concerning you or your team 4. You are asked to undertake an assignment that you feel inadequate to accomplish due to lack of experience. Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University 12E: Case Study: A Dialogue between Manager Kostas & Employee Nikos OBJECTIVE: To help participants identify positive communication patterns (such as empathy, supportive communication, active listening, and assertiveness) in the real workplace ESTIMATED TIME: 40 minutes DESCRIPTION: Read the case study and discuss the following questions as a group: 1. Identify the sentences where both of the two persons demonstrate: - Empathy - Active listening - Supportive communication - Assertiveness - Persuasive communication 2. Which of the sentences helped the most? Which sentence, in your opinion, could provoke a defensive response or even stop the conversation? Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University Dr. Dimitra Iordanoglou, Panteion University