Cleveland State University
ESC 720
Research Communications
Lecture 5 – State Your Thesis
Dan Simon
State Your Thesis
• Thesis = Focus
– A one-sentence statement of the main message of
your report
• How to define a strong thesis statement
– You are starting with a topic, but topic  thesis
– You have sources and summaries, and they should
provide input to your thesis statement
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State Your Thesis
What do you know about your topic?
Absolute view:
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History
Major subtopics
Cultural issues
Controversies
Contrasting theories or approaches
Current research directions
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State Your Thesis
What do you know about your topic?
Relative view:
• Under what classifications does your topic fall?
• What are some important subtopics?
• What are some related topics?
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State Your Thesis
• Based on the following …
– What you know about your topic
– The questions you asked in your source summaries
• … ask a question you want to answer in your paper
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The question must point to your references
The question must be challenging to you
The question must be interesting to you
The answer must fill a significant number of pages
The answer must be able to be summarized in one sentence
• The answer to your question is your thesis (focus)
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State Your Thesis
Qualities of a Good Thesis Question
• Requires explanation
– Not a yes/no question; not trivial
– Not answerable with well-known facts
– Requires analysis, synthesis, experiment, etc.
• Specific – not too general
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Hydrogenated oils are bad for you.
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Hydrogenated oils are bad for you.
Too General
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Hydrogenated oils are bad for you. Too General
• The government should regulate the use of hydrogenated oils
in fried fast foods because scientific studies have linked these
oils to cancer and heart disease.
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Hydrogenated oils are bad for you. Too General
• The government should regulate the use of hydrogenated oils
in fried fast foods because scientific studies have linked these
oils to cancer and heart disease. Good
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Hydrogenated oils are bad for you. Too General
• The government should regulate the use of hydrogenated oils
in fried fast foods because scientific studies have linked these
oils to cancer and heart disease. Good
• Hydrogenated oils deposit fatty acids and clog arteries.
11
Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Hydrogenated oils are bad for you. Too General
• The government should regulate the use of hydrogenated oils
in fried fast foods because scientific studies have linked these
oils to cancer and heart disease. Good
Too
• Hydrogenated oils deposit fatty acids and clog arteries. Factual
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Hydrogenated oils are bad for you. Too General
• The government should regulate the use of hydrogenated oils
in fried fast foods because scientific studies have linked these
oils to cancer and heart disease. Good
Too
• Hydrogenated oils deposit fatty acids and clog arteries. Factual
• We should get the FDA to label every package of cookies with
the content of hydrogenated oils.
13
Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Hydrogenated oils are bad for you. Too General
• The government should regulate the use of hydrogenated oils
in fried fast foods because scientific studies have linked these
oils to cancer and heart disease. Good
Too
• Hydrogenated oils deposit fatty acids and clog arteries. Factual
• We should get the FDA to label every package of cookies with
the content of hydrogenated oils. Too Informal
14
Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Hydrogenated oils are bad for you. Too General
• The government should regulate the use of hydrogenated oils
in fried fast foods because scientific studies have linked these
oils to cancer and heart disease. Good
Too
• Hydrogenated oils deposit fatty acids and clog arteries. Factual
• We should get the FDA to label every package of cookies with
the content of hydrogenated oils. Too Informal
• Scientific studies link hydrogenated oils to cancer and heart
disease.
15
Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Hydrogenated oils are bad for you. Too General
• The government should regulate the use of hydrogenated oils
in fried fast foods because scientific studies have linked these
oils to cancer and heart disease. Good
Too
• Hydrogenated oils deposit fatty acids and clog arteries. Factual
• We should get the FDA to label every package of cookies with
the content of hydrogenated oils. Too Informal
• Scientific studies link hydrogenated oils to cancer and heart
disease. Too
Factual
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Impedance control is better than position control for
prosthetic legs.
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Impedance control is better than position control for
prosthetic legs. Too General
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Impedance control is better than position control for
prosthetic legs. Too General
• Impedance control can optimize a wider range of cost
functions than position control in prosthetic legs.
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Impedance control is better than position control for
prosthetic legs. Too General
• Impedance control can optimize a wider range of cost
functions than position control in prosthetic legs. Good
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Impedance control is better than position control for
prosthetic legs. Too General
• Impedance control can optimize a wider range of cost
functions than position control in prosthetic legs. Good
• Prosthetic legs should be made more widely available in thirdworld countries.
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Impedance control is better than position control for
prosthetic legs. Too General
• Impedance control can optimize a wider range of cost
functions than position control in prosthetic legs. Good
• Prosthetic legs should be made more widely available in thirdworld countries. Too General
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Impedance control is better than position control for
prosthetic legs. Too General
• Impedance control can optimize a wider range of cost
functions than position control in prosthetic legs. Good
• Prosthetic legs should be made more widely available in thirdworld countries. Too General
• Prosthetic leg research is a waste of time because people
need to take better care of their own health so they don’t
have to get their legs amputated.
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Impedance control is better than position control for
prosthetic legs. Too General
• Impedance control can optimize a wider range of cost
functions than position control in prosthetic legs. Good
• Prosthetic legs should be made more widely available in thirdworld countries. Too General
• Prosthetic leg research is a waste of time because people
need to take better care of their own health so they don’t
have to get their legs amputated. Too Informal
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Impedance control is better than position control for
prosthetic legs. Too General
• Impedance control can optimize a wider range of cost
functions than position control in prosthetic legs. Good
• Prosthetic legs should be made more widely available in thirdworld countries. Too General
• Prosthetic leg research is a waste of time because people
need to take better care of their own health so they don’t
have to get their legs amputated. Too Informal
• Prosthetic legs have greatly advanced in capability since the
introduction of the microprocessor.
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Thesis Examples
Analyze the following thesis examples:
• Impedance control is better than position control for
prosthetic legs. Too General
• Impedance control can optimize a wider range of cost
functions than position control in prosthetic legs. Good
• Prosthetic legs should be made more widely available in thirdworld countries. Too General
• Prosthetic leg research is a waste of time because people
need to take better care of their own health so they don’t
have to get their legs amputated. Too Informal
• Prosthetic legs have greatly advanced in capability since the
introduction of the microprocessor. Too Factual
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Make Your Thesis Strong and Focused
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It should be a product of your literature review
It should be the answer to an interesting question
It should have a clear wider significance
It should be as short as possible, while still being long
enough to be specific
• It should be reworded five times to sharpen it;
start with a long thesis, and then try to shorten it
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Make Your Thesis Strong and Focused
• It should be interesting to your audience
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What does your audience know about your topic?
How does your audience feel about your topic?
Assume that tour audience is open-minded.
Assume that tour audience wants to learn.
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Thesis Examples
“Impedance control is good.”
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Thesis Examples
“Impedance control is good.”
• Too broad
• No criteria for “good”
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Thesis Examples
“I decided to research impedance control
because it is an interesting and important topic,
a lot of papers have been written about it, and I
think it can help a lot of amputees.”
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Thesis Examples
“I decided to research impedance control
because it is an interesting and important topic,
a lot of papers have been written about it, and I
think it can help a lot of amputees.”
• Too long
• Too personal
• Not formal enough
• Not specific enough
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Thesis Examples
“American students are prone to plagiarism in
their writing because of the laziness that is
inherent in American culture.”
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Thesis Examples
“American students are prone to plagiarism in
their writing because of the laziness that is
inherent in American culture.”
• Prejudicial and biased
• Too broad to make a strong case
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Thesis Examples
“There are big differences between the ADRC
and PID control approaches.”
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Thesis Examples
“There are big differences between the ADRC
and PID control approaches.”
• Too general
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Thesis Examples
“Model-free control is a way to control an
engineering system without having a
mathematical model for the system.”
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Thesis Examples
“Model-free control is a way to control an
engineering system without having a
mathematical model for the system.”
• Too factual
• Does not include the writer’s viewpoint
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State Your Thesis
Your thesis can include broader implications
• The government should regulate the use of
hydrogenated oils in fried fast foods because
scientific studies have linked these oils to cancer and
heart disease.
• Impedance control can optimize a wider range of
cost functions than position control, and is thus a
more flexible and effective control method for
prosthetic legs.
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Acknowledgments
• CSU Writing Center
www.csuohio.edu/academic/writingcenter
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