Active Listening Skills
Adapted from http://www.taft.cc.ca.us/lrc/class/assignments/actlisten.html Mentoring Matters: A Practical Guide to Learning-Focused Relationships by Laura
Lipton and Bruce Wellman, 2003
Attending : Pay attention to your eye contact, posture and gestures
S.O.L.E.R. Five steps to attentive listening:
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Squarely face the person
Open your posture
Lean towards the sender
Eye contact maintained
Relax while attending
Pausing
Silence can be golden. Silence can also feel uncomfortable. The pace of a conversation will affects both the emotional
and intellectual climate. Frequent well-placed pauses contribute to a inductee’s confidence and capacity. In order to
reach higher levels of thinking, the inductee must have time to process. However, for most of us, consciously pausing to
provide for space for thinking requires patience and practice. Providing wait time to think and process can be a great gift
to the inductee.
Pause to Enhance Thinking and Thoughtfulness
Wait Time 1
Wait Time 2
Wait Time 3
Pause after asking a question
Pause after a colleague responds
Pause before your next question or
response
 to allow thinking time
 to allow time to retrieve
to model thoughtfulness and a need
additional and/or related
 to signal support for thinking
to think before responding
information
 to demonstrate your belief in
your colleague’s capacity for
thinking
Paraphrasing
Purposeful paraphrasing signals our full attention. It lets the inductee know that we understand his or her thoughts,
concerns, questions, and ideas, or we are trying to. By showing we are listening, we earn permission to inquire for
details and press for elaboration. Questions may often be interpreted as interrogation. Paraphrasing helps establish a
safe environment and trigger more thoughtful responses than simply asking questions alone. Paraphrasing should not
slip to the low level of “parrot phrasing.”
Three Types of Paraphrases
Acknowledge and Clarify
Summarize and Organize
Shifting Levels of Abstraction
(Up or Down)
 So, you are feeling _________
 So, there seem to be two key
 So, a(n) ____________ for you
issues here _________ and
might be ____________
 You’re noticing that ________
_________
Shifting up:
Shifting down:
 In other words, ____________
- Category
- Example
 On the one hand, there is
 Hmmm, you’re suggesting
Value
- Non-example
__________ and on the other
that _____________________
- Belief
- Strategy
hand, there is ___________
- Assumption - Choice
 For you then, several themes
- Action
are emerging _____________ - Goal
- Intention
- Option