What is Your
?
Dream
dream
dream
• Do you dream of lettuce?
• Do you dream of salad?
• Imagine your life 3X better.
dream
dream
3 Big Questions:
Who am I?
What matters?
What do I want?
dream
dream
What is Your Super
Theory of Life?
Who We Are, What We Want and How We Get it.
dream
dream
Super Theory
Being
Choice
Intrinsic
Integrity
Self Control
Conform
Manipulate
Bully
Doing
Success
Pleasure
Social Comparison
Wanting
Boredom
dream
dream
Three Generations,
Three Super Theories,
Three Dreams.
dream
dream
GREATEST
GENERATION
BOOMERS
GEN 21
• 35 M (60+)
• 75 M (40-60)
• 126 M (15-40)
• Valuable
• Visible
• Vital
• Secure
• Successful
• Happy
• Loyal
• Independent
• Collaborative
dream
dream
21st Century Generation
X Y Z
OLDEST:
SKEPTICAL
MIDDLE:
REALISTIC
YOUNGEST:
OPTIMISTIC
Gen21: Open Minded, Optimistic, Confident,
Collaborative, Autonomous
We Live 3 Lives
Birth – 25……..Self Discovery
26 – 50………...Experience
50 +…………….Wisdom
It’s not too late to live your Dream Life.
dream
dream
The Story of Our Lives
Growth Spiral
Innovate
Hero’s
Journey
Collaborate
Envision
Do Want
STATUS QUO
CRISIS
Don’t Want
Deny
Blame
Death Spiral
Rationalize
Bigger Dreams for ALL:
Dream Goals for a
New Future
dream
dream
Happiness: Life Satisfaction
Positive Emotion | Passionate Engagement | Personal Meaning
One Life, Now
1. Life Alignment
2. Life Autonomy
3. Life Achievement
Take the Dream Life Challenge.
Our dreams are discovered when
our Design and Desires meet.
GTV
Dream Life
Desire
Success
Interest
Mediocrity
Willingness
Failure
Avoidance
Incompetence
Capability
Skill
Design
WHO AM I? Design
dream
dream
WHO AM I? Design
• Traits
• Talents
• Track Record
dream
dream
If you don’t know
WHO you are,
you won’t know
WHAT you want.
dream
dream
Our Super Theory Determines Our Identity
Design: Traits & Talents
Spirit
Meaning
Achievement, Job, Thoughts
Mind
Body
Success
Pleasure
Tribes
Body, Emotions, Traumas
dream
dream
What do you
stand for?
1) What parts of your current life should be eliminated?
2) What do you need to add to your life that expresses
your uniqueness?
3) What parts of your life should you invest in well above
the average person’s life?
4) How are you going to be and live different than
everyone else?
5) How do you define your unique approach to life?
Who Am I?
Traits
• Enduring Strengths
• How You Experience Reality
• How You Want to Offer Value
dream
dream
Discovering Your
Soul’s Traits
• What do you most value about me?
• What do you most admire about me?
• What do you most enjoy about me?
VIA Signature Strengths Survey @
AmericanDreamProject.org
WHO AM I?
INNATE TRAITS
• Creativity
• Vitality
• Humility/Modesty
• Curiosity
• Love
• Prudence
• Open-mindedness • Kindness
• Love of Learning
• Self-regulation
• Social Intelligence • Appreciation of
• Perspective
• Citizenship
• Bravery
• Fairness
• Persistence
• Leadership
• Integrity
• Forgiveness &
Mercy
Beauty and Excellence
• Gratitude
• Hope
• Humor
• Spirituality
Who am I?
Talents: 3 Clues
• Compliments
• Energy, Effort, Ease
• Desire for Mastery
dream
dream
Who Am I?
Skills for the 21st Century
• Integrity
• Relationships
• Wisdom
dream
dream
Discovering Your
Talents
• What do you most value about me?
• What would you like me to do more of?
• What would you like me to do less of?
Your Dream Lifestyle
• Life List
• Live Rich
WHAT MATTERS?
Drive
dream
dream
Drive: Prime Motive
Gain
Grow
Give
Give
Grow
Gain
dream
dream
Lost Boys of Sudan
What can I do?
“I can’t do everything, but I
can do something. I will
not let the things I cannot
do prevent me from doing
the things I can.”
* Helen Keller Paraphrased
Our Drive is Our Message
Love or Fear
dream
dream
What do I want?
What does my soul desire?
dream
dream
•
•
•
•
•
Are we cyborgs?
Do we all want to be rock stars?
Whose life are we living?
Unplug, Ask, Listen.
Pay attention to reality: never mistake
a goal for a dream.
dream
dream
Soul Reflection
1. Unplug, Ask, Listen
2. Read, Discuss
3. Become Conscious
What do I
want?
DESIRES:
Lifestyle
Positive Emotions,
Passionate Engagement,
Personal Meaning
• Where You Live
• How You Live
• Why You Live
Desire
Lifestyle, Relationships, Career
• Deepest longings.
• Choice if no one cared.
• Energy gain.
Lifestyle
Positive Emotions,
Passionate Engagement,
Personal Meaning
Where You Live | How You Live | Why You Live
What do I
want?
DESIRES:
Career
Future Proof Your Life
Don’t Compete
Be Unique.
You already are.
Just turn up the volume.
Career: Be Original,
Be Great, Be Passionate
•
•
•
•
Choice if no one cared.
Unconventional job fit.
Constant, creative learning.
Energy gain.
dream
dream
So How Great Do You
Want To Be?
Good
Source: Paul Arden
Quite Good
Very Good
The Best in
Your Field.
The Best in
the World.
Career:
Design & Drive is What Counts
Stand Out, Don’t Fit In
dream
dream
Career: Drive
Transform Ambition to
Inspiration
• Blind ambition is slavery.
• Change YOUR World.
dream
dream
Be Global Proof:
Design & Drive is What Counts
Stand Out, Don’t Fit In
Become an Expert with High
Emotional Intelligence
dream
dream
Career: Life Chapters
10 Things You Want to
Do Before You Die
dream
dream
CAREER
Evolution of Work Value
Wisdom Work
(Judgment)
Creative Work
(Ideas)
Knowledge Worker
(Facts)
Process Worker
(Labor)
dream
dream
What do I
want?
DESIRES:
Relationships
Relationships
• Without Love there is no happiness.
• With Love there is no emptiness.
• Relationships are the source of all
human meaning.
dream
dream
• Without Love there is no happiness.
• With Love there is no emptiness.
• Relationships are the source of all
human meaning.
dream
dream
Our Deepest Longing is
Genuine Love
• Spam instead of intimacy.
• Sex instead of love.
• Options instead of commitment.
dream
dream
Love requires both
Intimacy and
Commitment.
dream
dream
The Quality of Our Relationships
Comes from Our Super Theory
Design: Traits & Talents
Integrity
Achievement, Job,
Thoughts
Body, Emotions,
Traumas
Goals
Active Advocacy
Aggressive, Bargaining
Demands/Threats
Pleasure
Insecure, Undermining
Passive
If Love Drives You,
Create More Love
• Understand
• Affirm
• Involve
dream
dream
When your
Design + Drive + Desire
are all connected, you are
living your Dream.
dream
dream
Wisdom
• Reason – Examine your assumptions.
• Common Sense – What results are
you getting?
• Intuition – What do you already know?
dream
dream
Soul’s Desire
• Will not cause innocents to suffer.
• Happiness, Contentment, Patience
• Grateful, Optimistic
dream
dream
What is Your Dream?
Relationships
Lifestyle
Career
Growth
Leadership
What is Your
?
Dream
AmericanDreamProject.org
We Live 3 Lives
Birth – 25……..Self Discovery
26 – 50………...Experience
50 +…………….Wisdom
It’s not too late to live your Dream Life.
dream
dream
What if there was
another way?
The greatest good for the greatest
number produces the greatest
good for each individual.
- John Nash
dream
dream
CHOOSE
Join the
st
21
Century
Revolution
Find Your Voice
Act for the Common Good
Swim
or
Surf
Promise Broken?
•
•
•
•
•
Failure of Leadership.
Decline of Middle Class.
Cost of Education Skyrocketing.
Society is not Designed to Produce Happiness.
Social Trends of Gen21
dream
dream
BOOMER WORLD:
Dream or Nightmare
Pleasure + Goals =
• OVER Work
• OVER Stress
• Over Consumption
dream
dream
The Dream Gap
• Boomers are perplexed.
• Real work, real meaning,
right now!
• Business must be hothouse for
personal & professional growth.
dream
dream
Our Children Can’t Afford
Homes
Education
Insurance
Revolutions
Rising Tide of Change
1. Declaration of Independence
“Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”
POP CULTURE
2. Gettysburg Address & Emancipation
Proclamation
“…By the people, for the people.”
3. New Deal to Civil Rights
“I have a dream.”
OPRAH
CLOONEY
Social
Justice
BONO
PITT/JOLIE
PHILANTHROPY
4. Noo Future
“We have 40 years to save the world.”
GATES
Heal the
World
CLINTON
GOOGLE
BUFFET
BUSH 1
EBAY
SUSTAINABILITY
PATAGONIA
The
Storm
“Is this the best we can do?”
LIFE
LIBERTY
HAPPINESS
GE WINDMILLS
Zero
Waste
WAL-MART
SUNEDISON
SOCIAL ACCOUNTABILITY
NIKE
GAP
Labor
Rights
SA 8000
PERSONAL MEANING
BOOMER
GEN21
Save the
Future
REDEMPTION
MAKE A
DIFFERENCE
What’s Happening?
QuickTime™ and a
TIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
QuickTime™ and a
TIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
QuickTime™ and a
TIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
Cost of Gas up 160%
Home Prices up 325%
School Tuition up 330%
QuickTime™ and a
TIFF (Uncompressed) decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
Gen21
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Don’t want Boomer World (Over work, over stressed, over stuffed)
Want Families that Work
Want the Truth, not Spin, not Hype
Want More than Success – a Life They Value and Enjoy
Their Dream is Their Career
Real Work/Real Meaning/Real Rewards
Want to Make Their Difference
dream
dream
Gen21’s Confusion
Relationships – Avoid Commitment
Materialism – Take What You Can Get
Work – Too Many Choices / No Choices
dream
dream
Revolutions
What is Your Dream?
Rising Tide
of Change
1. Declaration of Independence
“Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”
United Voice & Vision
Greatest good
for each and all
Universal Principles
POP CULTURE
2. Gettysburg Address & Emancipation
Proclamation
“…By the people, for the people.”
3. New Deal to Civil Rights
“I have a dream.”
OPRAH
BONO
4. Noo Future
“We have 40 years to save the world.”
CLOONEY
Social
Justice
PITT/JOLIE
BUFFET
Heal the
World
CLINTON
BUSH 1
EBAY
GOOGLE
SUSTAINABILITY
PATAGONIA
WAL-MART
Zero Waste
“Is this the best we can do?”
LIFE
SOCIAL ACCOUNTABILITY
NIKE
Labor
Rights
GAP
HAPPINESS
SA 8000
What is Your Promise?
New Enterprise Model
(GTV)
PERSONAL MEANING
GEN21
LIBERTY
American Dream
Project
SUNEDISON
GE WINDMILLS
The Storm
Personal Action
Design + Desire + Drive
PHILANTHROPY
GATES
Life, Liberty & Pursuit of Happiness
BOOMER
Save the
Future
MAKE A
DIFFERENCE
New Education Model
(Free Lifelong Learning)
REDEMPTION
New Civic Model
(Common Good)
Dream Life
Requirements
1. Conscious Integrity
2. Willful Choice
3. Creative Effort
4. Morally Significant Goals
Source: Chris Peterson 2006
4 American Revolutions
More
Happiness
REVOLUTION
More
Suffering
Cause is Always the Same.
Private Greed
+
Public Corruption
+
Economic/Social/Technological
Change
Threatens Our Future
3 Paths to Your Dreams
• Early Insight
• Reflective Walk
• Active Exploration
Life has Chapters.
dream
dream
The World Needs
Your Dream and
Your Leadership
The Grid
Media-Financial
Complex
What do we want?
Independence
Change
Growth
the
World
Wisdom
Still Be
Home
Security
for
Dinner
Belonging
Source: M. Mark
Traps of Fear
(Independence)
Willfulness
Pleasure
FEAR
(Growth)
Stuff
(Security)
Controlling
(Belonging)
Prime Directive + Prime Motive are necessary to avoid the traps of fear.
5 Sources of Anxiety
1. Personal Confusion
2. Emotional Anxiety
3. Reality Distortion
4. Relationship Difficulties
5. Spiritual Uncertainty
What we want: Fulfillment
Make a difference
WORK
LOVE
PLAY
Relationships
Personal
Interests
Change the World and Still Be Home for Dinner
1st Catastrophic Error
I Can Mange My Time
Better and Find Fulfillment.
“If I schedule time with my
children, my spouse and at the
gym, I will feel balanced.”
PROBLEM:
Life cannot be scheduled
Trying to balance leads to more anxiety.
Balance is not fulfillment.
2nd Catastrophic Error
I Can Achieve My
Way to Fulfillment.
“If I do what I should…”
1. I will be acceptable, loveable, appreciated.
2. My life will turn out the way I need it to.
3. I will feel fulfilled…insecure, confident, perfectionist.
PROBLEM:
Salt water will not quench your thirst.
3rd Catastrophic Error
Magical Thinking will
Make Me Happy.
“If I follow my heart, live
my dream, find my bliss…
I will be fulfilled.”
PROBLEM:
Self deception can lead to a counterfeit calling.
Identity
Truth
Wisdom
Autonomy
Love
Our Thinking is Thoughtless
• 40,000 Thoughts per Day:
Random, Repetitive, Unfocused
• 95% of our Decisions:
Unconscious, Habitual and Unreflective
• Thinking is Dominated by:
Bias and Confusion
Often Resulting in Self-inflicted Misery.
The Truth is Always More
Than we Know
E=MC
2
The Universe:
4 % is Matter we Understand
23% is Dark Matter
73% is Dark Energy
“Not everything that counts can be counted.”
- Albert Einstein
The Quality of our Thinking
Determines the Quality of our Lives
Action Chain
Action
Emotions
Evaluation
Perception
How We Think
Intuitive
Inner Self
Practical
Outer Self
Analytical
Self Concept
High Achievers Thinking
Intuitive
Inner Self
Practical
Outer Self
Analytical
Self Concept
Just Who Do You Think You Are?
Identity
Values
Results
Integrity
Thoughts
Actions
Decisions
What happens if we are true to ourselves? If we are dysfunctional?
Conforming? What are my Values? Thoughts? Decisions?
Wisdom is the Insight to use
Knowledge, Judgment and Virtue
for the Greatest Good.
…to Think and Act in a way that
results in fulfillment.
The Path to Wisdom is
Focused Listening
The Right answers require the
Right questions.
8 Wisdom Questions
How am I going to Change the World?
PRIME DIRECTIVE
TALENT
PURPOSE
DESIRE
Am I a Slugbot?
Am I a Slug?
8 Questions:
Wisdom Question 1
What am I?
• I am not my body…
• I am not my emotions…
• I am not my thoughts…
• I am not my roles…
WHAT AM I?
Belief
Traps
Who is making my decisions?
Stress pushes us to lower
levels of consciousness.
If decisions are driven by:
• My body…. Food, sleep
• Emotions…. Shopping, sex
• Mental anxiety…. Drinking, drugs, sports
• Roles…perfectionistic demands
Virtue: Values that are Habits
8 Questions:
Wisdom Question 2
What virtues do I most admire?
8 Questions:
Wisdom Question 3
What am I great at?
• What do you receive COMPLIMENTS for?
• What would you do for FREE?
• What do you LOVE to do that you do WELL?
Finding our PRIME DIRECTIVE
Character
Talent
Weakness
Competence
Clues to Talent:
• Success Stories
Ability
• Competent Feedback
• Positive Energy
• Who you Admire
What do I want?
Your talent is the light that
illuminates what your soul wants.
Talent + Desire + Purpose
Disaster Movie or Hero’s Journey?
We are clear on what we don’t want.
1. Illness
2. Poverty
3. Loneliness
4. Boredom
5. Powerlessness
6. Meaninglessness
Hero’s Journey: Adult Maturity
Thought
Fulfilling
Choice
Will
Transcendent
Autonomous
Conscientious
Functional
Responsibilities
Conforming
Dysfunctional
Wants
Manipulative
Impulsive
35%
55%
10%
Autonomy
Autonomy requires the highest level of personal maturity and wisdom.
It requires nothing less than a new understanding of who we are.
• Is able to ask for what you desire
• See multiple points of view without being confused (both/and)
• Patient and decisive
• Persistent and flexible
• Can act in ambiguous circumstance
• Clear on personal gifts and shortcomings
• Passionate interests and experiences joy
• Has a clear sense of purpose
Positive Vision
8 Questions:
Wisdom Question 4
What does my Soul Desire?
Do want
Inspires
You
Desire
Drudgery
Can Do
Well
Talent
Don’t want
Work
Family
Friends
Romantic partner
Health
Passionate interests
Service
Legacy
8 Questions:
Wisdom Question 5
What does it matter?
Purpose
The source of all human purpose is Service
Restless
Empty
Purpose
Driven
Talent
Meaning is not determined by Size of Impact.
Purpose will change with Time.
To Be Fulfilled:
To Become Conscious of Our Lives’ Significance
Observe our lives from the
viewpoint of our souls.
• What happens - is least important.
• Our motives, our gifts, our learning – are most important.
• Soul’s wisdom reveals what’s most important – where we are
growing and where we are stuck.
All we have to do is… ASK!
PRIME DIRECTIVE
Integrity = Engaging in your Prime
Directive 80% of your time.
Still Be Home for Dinner
PRIME MOTIVE
It is not how you schedule your time – it is
how you live your life that will determine
your level of fulfillment.
Love and Truth are the
Mother and Father of all virtue.
We are all Character Actors
SITUATION: LOVED ONE
“Don’t Worry, I’ll Clean the Car.”
• Loving Concern
• Being Right
What is your “come from?”
Intrinsic Love
-
+
+
-
-
++
-
All Feelings Decay into a Concept
Practical:
Are you meeting my needs?
Analytical:
Are you doing what you are supposed to?
- +
+ -
+ -
- +
+ -- +
REAL Love
Intrinsic
1. Understand
+
Practical
2. Affirm
+
Systemic
3. Involve
-
++
-
Romance
TIME
TOUCH
THOUGHTFULNESS
LOVE as a PRIME MOTIVE
Love from Your Soul
• No manipulators or bullies allowed.
• Neither needy or demanding.
• Focus on strengths; quirks don’t matter.
8 Questions:
Wisdom Question 6
What can I do to Love
more powerfully?
When Real Love is our
PRIME MOTIVE, what happens?
TRUTH as a PRIME MOTIVE
Are you a virtuous idiot or an evil genius?
Love without Truth – Masochistic fool
Truth without Love – Sadistic dictator
If Love is Heat, Truth is Light.
Truth Telling
HIDDEN
Peacemaker
OPEN
1
Influencer
•Passive
•Respectful
•Avoid Conflict
•Enthusiastic
•Agreeable
•Authentic/ Sincere
Goal: Harmony
Goal: Shared Reality
Result: Depression
Manipulator
4
Result: Trust
Bully
2
3
•Passive Aggressive
•Blame
•Aggressive
•Threaten
•Deceive
•Criticize
•Dominate
•Force
•Guilt
•Victim
•Demand
•Insist
Goal: Control
Goal: Win
Result: Low Trust
Result: Isolation
8 Questions:
Wisdom Question 7
What do I already know?
Find the Truth within.
Listen for the Wisdom of your soul.
Truth requires:
• Courage
• Hunger
• Humility
8 Questions:
Wisdom Question 8
What can I do, now?
Pursuit of Truth
High Achiever
Maximizer
• Believes in the myth
of the right choice.
• Needs to examine all
choices.
• Keeps options open.
• Drowns in the anxiety
of over-choice.
• Loses contact with
truth.
• Knows what they
want.
• Believes in making
the choice right.
• Engages in
progressive action.
• Commits to valuing
their choice.
• Discovers more truth.
Matterhorn
or
Splatterhorn
Fulfillment
Self
Absorbed
Fulfillment
Emptiness
Self
Discipline
Value
Prime Motive
The Feather of Truth
Prime Directive:
Your Gift
Prime Motive:
Your Character
SCALE OF LIFE
Change the World and
Still Be Home for Dinner
Leave with a
Loving Heart
an Open Mind
and No Regrets.