WRITING REVIEWS
• by H. L. Hall, MJE
EVERYONE’S A CRITIC
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Film
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Theatre
Music
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Bowling Alleys
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Computers and
related items
CRITIC VS. REVIEWER
• Critics are usually experts
• Reviewers are usually
generalists
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
1. To compare and
contrast.
2. To say what kind of work
is being reviewed and
what it is about.
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
3. To back up with evidence
and persuasive language
based
on knowledge and
experience.
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
4. To give an informed
judgment whether it is
worth the time or money.
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
These lines from reviews of
2005 movies would
probably tell the reader
not to bother.
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
Into the Blue: “Not a thriller so
much as an extremely
violent swimsuit calendar.”-Justin Chang, variety.com
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
A Sound of Thunder: “Edward
Burns is the kind of actor
you cast as the hero when a
piece of wood is
unavailable.”--Jason
Andrews, Globe and Mail
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
The Dukes of Hazzard: “The
film’s ambitions are so low
that it’s hard to imagine how
it fell short of them.”--Jay
Chandrasekhar, tvguide.com
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
Elektra: “The resulting action
leads to levels of excitement
typically attained by
proofreading science
textbooks.”--Sean O’Connell,
filmcritic.com
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
Catwoman: “Despite its feline
pretensions. Catwoman
belongs to another animal
family—it’s either a dog or a
turkey.”--James Berardinelli,
movie-reviews.colossus.net
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo:
“There is something to be said
for the uncompromising idiocy of
the film, but that something is
unprintable.”--Lisa Rose, Newark
Star-Ledger
Try to keep reviews brief
Reviews do not have to be long. You
can say a lot in 300 words or
less. Look at this review for Star
Trek. It’s 185 words long.
Star Trek
by Leah Rosen, People
Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoë Saldana,
Leonard Nimoy, Eric Bana / PG-13
/
****
Director J. J. Abrams has put the
pop back in summer popcorn
movies. His Star Trek, an
exciting and sassy revamp of
Star Trek
by Leah Rosen, People
the classic sci-fi TV show and film
series, is a blast in every sense
of the word. Coming as it does
on the heels of an uninspired XMen Origins: Wolverine, Trek is a
kick-ass reminder that in the
Star Trek
by Leah Rosen, People
right hands and with savvy casting,
anything old can be gloriously
new again.
This Trek starts with the birth of
James Tiberius Kirk (Pine,
boyishly engaging) during a
Star Trek
by Leah Rosen, People
space disaster. It then briefly visits
him as a reckless child, a
rebellious young man and finally
as a Starfleet Academy cadet
who sneaks aboard to join the
crew of the newly built starship
Star Trek
by Leah Rosen, People
USS Enterprise as it heads off on a
dangerous mission. In introducing other familiar characters
(Look, it’s Spock! It’s Bones!), the
film pays respect to tradition
while fondly tweaking it.
Star Trek
by Leah Rosen, People
There’s much wit here, bang-up
action scenes and a twisting plot
that will make sense to those who
truly care to follow it. May this
latest incarnation of the series
live long and prosper.
The Taking of
Pelham 1 2 3
Now, this review from Newsweek is SHORT!
It’s only 59 words long!
The Taking of
Pelham 1 2 3
The Original (1974): Only Walter Matthau
can save New York from a runaway
train fllled with hostages and the cooly
creepy Robert Shaw.
The Remake: Denzel is the hero. Travolta’s
the villain. The costars: a very loud
soundtrack and lots and lots of blood.
The Taking of
Pelham 1 2 3
The Verdict: The suspense is gone, and
with it most of the thrill.
The Jonas Brothers grow
on ‘Lines, Vines and Trying Times.’
USA Today
The following review by Brian Mansfield is
only 259 words long. Brevity attracts
readers. The only problem is the review
was written in four paragraphs. Keep
paragraphs short--40 words or less to
enhance readability.
The Jonas Brothers grow
on ‘Lines, Vines and Trying Times.’
USA Today
Those Jonas Brothers’ fans are just going
to love it when they hear the three
brothers tell them they’re “much better”
than that girl with “all the tears on her
guitar.”
Older observers may have had enough by
now of hearing the aftermath of the
brief Joe Jonas/Talor Swift romance
The Jonas Brothers grow
on ‘Lines, Vines and Trying Times.’
USA Today
play itself out publicly, but what else do
young celebrities have to write about?
Fame?
The Jonases’ fourth album certainly has
that. “I start to freak and scream so
loud/just like the females in the crowd,”
Nick Jonas sings in Don’t Charge Me for
the Crime—and that’s
The Jonas Brothers grow
on ‘Lines, Vines and Trying Times.’
USA Today
the one about unwittingly becoming an
accessory to a bank robbery. The best
song may be the single written with
song pro Cathy Dennis and producer
John Fields, but the Jonases put a lot of
themselves into their materials, using
youthfully earnest metaphors about
race cars and World War II.
The Jonas Brothers grow
on ‘Lines, Vines and Trying Times.’
USA Today
They’re also showing signs of stress: Often,
the girls are deceitful troublemakers,
and the songs reflect circumstances
spinning out of control. But the brothers
sure know how to put the best face on
it, with punchy horn parts and crazily
catchy hooks that show an appealing
variety of influences,
The Jonas Brothers grow
on ‘Lines, Vines and Trying Times.’
USA Today
from the Stevie Wonder-style clavinet on
Hey Baby to the fiddle breaks on What
Did I Do To Your Heart. Everybody has
to grow up sometime, and Nick, Joe and
Kevin are taking their first wary steps
in that direction. If they don’t get too
tangled up in the lines and the vines,
they should make it all right.
They may be longer, but…
There is no set length for a review, but if
you go over 500 words, you have
probably given the reader more than he
needs to know and more than he wants
to know. The following review is 422
words in length, and it says enough.
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
Usually, when characters in a movie
are one-dimensional, that’s not a
good thing. But in Night at the
Museum: Battle of the
Smithsonian, the waxworks
figures who come to life after
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
sundown aren’t crassly sketchy or
dramatically lacking. They’re onedimensional, all right, but
knowingly, delightfully so. Even at
their most pop-up brash, they’re
true to the way that kids see
history. They’re like
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
characters out of a cool yet innocent
mischief-at-midnight children’s
book—a Where The Wild Things
Are of global story-time kitsch.
And they give you a lift.
The movie, make no mistake, is
clownisly silly, a lark as high as
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
balsa wood. If anything, though, it’s a
faster, wittier spin on the formula
of its predecessor. Released in
2006, Night of the Museum was a
family popcorn extravaganza that
touched a chord even its
producers may not
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
have anticipated. In the sequel, Ben
Stiller, as the former night guard
Larry Daley (he’s not a successful
entrepreneur…of flashlights!),
spends one long night infiltrating
the galleries of the Smithsonian
Institution, where he attempts to
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
rescue the exhibits he first got to
know at the American Museum of
Natural History. (He’s trying to get
his hands on the magical Egyptian
tablet that brings them to life.)
The T.rex, the capuchin monkeys,
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
Attila the Hun—all have been shipped
to the archives of the
Smithsonian. And all are as feisty
as ever. But Battle of the
Smithsonian tilts away from the
zoological. The films is a historyof-the-world burlesque in which
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
such drolly self-centered icons as
General Custer (Bill Hader), Ivan
the Terrible (Christopher Guest),
and Kahmunrah (Hank Azaria)—a
made-up pharoah who lisps with
the enthusiasm of Boris Karloff on
his own reality show—collide
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
happily with a living army of Albert
Einstein bobblehead dolls, plus
stone-carved angels who sing
“More Than a Woman” and The
Thinker come to life as a Brooklyn
deadbeat. This is what you call a
wholesome kiddie
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
movie on drugs.
It all works because Stiller, with his
eager-to-please anxiety and his
incredulous double takes, is the
perfect addled straight man for a
hellzapoppin history show. And it
works because Amy Adams, as
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
Amelia Earhart, has the breathless,
daffy-sexy vivacity of a ‘30s
screwball heroine, her eyes lit
with fire, her delivery as sharp as
cut glass as she rat-a-tats out
lines like “You haven’t been able
to take your cheaters off my
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
by Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly
Chassis since we met!” Battle of the
Smithsonian has plenty of life. But
it’s Adams who gives it a zing.
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
Brief excerpts from various reviewers
Those creaky exhibits come to life once
again in "Night at the Museum: Battle of
the Smithsonian," and this time around
there's a little more life on display.—The
Hollywood Reporter
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
Brief excerpts from various reviewers
Night at the Museum: Battle of the
Smithsonian (* * out of four) resembles
an enthusiastic but undisciplined child
running amok through an exhibit. The
exuberance might be admirable, but the
headlong dashing and lurching around
are major distractions.—USA Today
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
Brief excerpts from various reviewers
So don’t take your children expecting that
they’ll learn anything. But if you do take
them, you will at least be able to enjoy
Hank Azaria and Amy Adams, who play
a fictitious pharaoh named Kahmunrah
and the famed aviatrix Amelia Earhart.
Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian
Brief excerpts from various reviewers
Historical accuracy is not the point. No
Egyptian potentate ever spoke in a
lisping, aristocratic British accent, but
Mr. Azaria is the master of funny voices,
and he does fine work as the heavy. Ms.
Adams, impersonating
Parents, teens
won’t love ‘Beth Cooper’
by Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
The following review is 377 words long
Parents, teens
won’t love ‘Beth Cooper’
by Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
Oh, to have teenage kids just so I could forbid
them to see I Love You, Beth Cooper.
A miscast and misjudged graduation-night comedy
occasionally—only occasionally—
wanders into “harmless.” Much of the time it’s
sending bad messages about, oh, driving
without your lights on after dark, using sex to
score beer and letting peer pressure determine
Parents, teens
won’t love ‘Beth Cooper’
by Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
your sexuality. Let’s state emphatically that
America’s teens are too smart to do most of
those things. Let’s also state they probably
won’t find much to laugh at in this
emphatically unfunny comedy from the guy
who owes his career to Home Alone.
Paul Rust is the charmless, uncharismatic lead,
Denis, a nerd who uses his valedictory
Parents, teens
won’t love ‘Beth Cooper’
by Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
speech to tell his classmates what he really
thinks of them. And that girl he has lusted
for, but never ever spoken to? She (Hayden
Panettiere) gets his punch line.
“I love you, Beth Cooper.”
She is flattered, and over the course of a long
and tedious graduation night, Denis and his
pal Rich (Jack Carpenter), whom he outed
Parents, teens
won’t love ‘Beth Cooper’
by Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
in his speech, follow Beth and “The Trinity”
(Lauren London and the hilarious Lauren
Storm) as Beth drives her Yaris like a long
lost Andretti, flees her maniacal military
boyfriend and knocks herself off the
pedestal Denis put her on.
The reason this was made was to escort young
Panettiere from “cutie” to “hottie.”
Parents, teens
won’t love ‘Beth Cooper’
by Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
But did they need the lame cocaine jokes, the
military bashing, the parents (Alan Ruck,
Cynthia Stevenson) playing hide-thevibrating-cell-phone?
There is no way to discuss this movie without
wondering if there has ever been a more
successful awful director than Chris
Columbus.
Parents, teens
won’t love ‘Beth Cooper’
by Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
The movie was adapted by the fellow who wrote
the novel, Larry Doyle, and is so tone-deaf
as to make one fear for American
publishing.
And the woebegone Rust, the poor man’s
McLovin, is ill-suited for this in so many
ways that you don’t even have to get into his
appearance—no timing, no sparkle
Parents, teens
won’t love ‘Beth Cooper’
by Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
zero chemistry with Hayden.
At least this should quickly become one of
those blips on Panettiere’s résumé, a new
Leprechaun for the new Jennifer Aniston to
roll her eyes about on Conan’s couch a few
years down the road.
Parents, teens
won’t love ‘Beth Cooper’
by Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
Cast: Hayden Panettiere, Paul Rust, Lauren
London, Lauren Storm, Alan Ruck, Cynthia
Stevenson
Directed by: Chris Columbus
Running time: 1 hour, 41 minutes
Rating: PG-13 (crude and sexual content,
language, some teen drinking and drug
references and brief violence.
Up
by Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly
As bouyant and richly tinted as the
balloons that figure so prominently in its story, Up is also thoroughly grounded in real emotion and
ideas of substance. How’s that for
a lovely, thoughtful, and yes,
uplifting adventure (in 3-D where
Up
by Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly
available) about an old guy, a kid,
and a house that sails through the
air, opening up new routes in life
to people who thought they were
stuck in their loneliness. The
movie is Pixar’s 10th commanding
feature-length
Up
by Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly
demonstration that the most inventive
and fully rounded stories in movies
today are being told b characters
who require an animator’s hand to
breathe. Up is a beaut. And for once,
3-D animation proves its worth.
Up
by Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly
Up is a gentle ride, as befits the Walt
Disney PG imprimatur. But I’ve rarely
seen a message of such square
sincerity—Life’s biggest adventures
can be found in our own backyard,
shared with people you love!—told
with such joy and bright
Up
by Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly
humor. Who says squares can’t be hip?
The star of the saga is a squat, sour
old widower named Carl (voiced
with Lou Grant-quality authority by
Ed Asner), a balloon salesman in his
late 70s with a head as blockish as
a toaster…Max Steiner scores from
Up
by Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly
the 40s and 50s, steers the story’s
emotional shifts with great
elegance. The renderings, the color
palette, the small and generous
jokes, the perspective as balloons
lift a whole house in the air—are all
breathtaking…Can complicated
Up
by Lisa Schwarzbaum, Entertainment Weekly
technical virtuosity be reduced to
something as simple as that? Yes, if
you’re Up to it. A
Poignancy, schock
in ‘Striped Pajamas’
by Claudia Pigg, USA Today
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas adds
another poignant tale to the canon of
Holocaust movies.
Though not as epic as Schindler’s List,
this story about the wartime
experiences of two
Poignancy, schock
in ‘Striped Pajamas’
by Claudia Pigg, USA Today
children is more haunting and moving
than 1997’s Life Is Beautiful.
It also is a notably faithful rendering of
John Boyne’s novel, told from the
perspective of a young boy.
Poignancy, schock
in ‘Striped Pajamas’
by Claudia Pigg, USA Today
 1/2 out of four
Stars: Davie Thewlis, Vera Farmiga, Asa Butterfield,
Jack Scanlon, Rupert Friend
Director: Mark Herman
Distributor: Miramax Films
Rating: PG-13 for some mature thematic material
involving the Holocaust
Running Time: 1 hour, 34 minutes
Opens today in select cities
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
A 1994 movie about a simple-minded soul
telling his life story went on to win six
Oscars. That movie was Forrest Gump,
starring Tom Hanks. Though it’s too soon
to say if history will repeat itself at
awards time for The Curious Case of
Benjamin Button, the similarities in the
two movies, are marked, perhaps not
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
surprisingly because both screenplays are
by Eric Roth. You could almost call
Benjamin Button—with Brad Pitt as a
man who is born old and grows
younger—Forrest Gramps.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
It Must Be Love
Forrest--Forrest meets and falls for Jenny,
the love of his life, when both are
children.
Benjamin--Benjamin meets and falls for
Daisy, the love of his life, when both are
children.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
A Little Extra Support
Forrest--Forrest relies on leg braces early in
life.
Benjamin--Benjamin relies on leg braces
early in life.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
An Early Loss
Forrest--He is abandoned by his father.
Benjamin--He is abandoned by his father.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
Big Momma’s House
Forrest--His self-sacrificing mother runs a
boarding house.
Benjamin--His self-sacrificing mother runs a
boarding house for the aged.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
A Soldier, a Friend
Forrest--He goes to war with Lt. Dan, who
became a friend.
Benjamin--He goes to war with Capt. Mike,
who became a friend.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
Soothing A Broken Heart
Forrest--When Jenny ejects him, Forrest
finds comfort in running.
Benjamin--When Daisy rejects him, Benjamin
takes comfort in running around with
other women.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
Nature’s Signals
Forrest--A feather appears to symbolize the
connectedness of life.
Benjamin--A hummingbird appears to
symbolize the connectedness of life.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
Setting Sail To The Future
Forrest--Forrest gets a job on a shrimp boat.
Benjamin--Benjamin gets a job on a tugboat.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
Swept Away By A Plot Point
Forrest--Hurricane Carmen blows through
the plot.
Benjamin--Hurricane Katrina blows through
the plot.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
Long-Lost Loves
Forrest--After Jenny suffers a health crisis,
she returns home to Forrest.
Benjamin--After Daisy suffers a health crisis,
she returns home to Benjamin.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
A Father’s Fears
Forrest--Forrest worries his son will have his
same affliction.
Benjamin--Benjamin worries his child will
have his affliction.
‘Benjamin’: ‘Forrest’
on the button?
By Patty Ruhle, USA Today
Mothers’ Wisdom
Forrest--His momma always told him “Life is
like a box of chocolates. You never know
what you’re going to get.”
Benjamin--His momma always told him: “You
will never know what’s coming for you.”
In Theaters this weekend
USA Today
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
*** 2 hours, 40 minutes
Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt) is afflicted with
a rare malady that causes him to age
backward. His long and eventful life is
filled with adventure, quirky people and
the love of his life (Cate Blanchett)
In Theaters this weekend
USA Today
Director: David Fincher
PG-13 for brief war violence, sexual content,
language and smoking
Upside: The imaginative tale is enhanced by
stunning visuals and special effects.
Downside: The overlong narrative lacks the
magic of the visuals.
In Theaters this weekend
USA Today
Doubt
*** 1 hour, 44 minutes
The imperious Sister Aloysius (Meryl Streep)
suspects the genial Father Flynn (Philip
Seymour Hoffman) of mo-lesting her
school’s first black student. Based on
the award-winning play.
In Theaters this weekend
USA Today
Director: John Patrick Shanley
PG-13 for thematic material
Upside: To watch Streep and Hoffman match
wits over big issues is exhilarating
Downside: Shanley, who directs his adaptation
of his play, employs some obvious
symbolism.
In Theaters this weekend
USA Today
Frost/Nixon
**** 2 hours, 2 minutes
The deft re-creation of the landmark 1977
interviews between former president
Richard Nixon (Frank Langella) and British
talk-show host David Frost (Michale Sheen)
plays out like a thriller.
In Theaters this weekend
USA Today
Director: Ron Howard
R for some language
Upside: Langella and Sheen reprise their stage
roles with aplomb. In career
performances, each lets his characters’s
humanity show through.
Downside: None
In Theaters this weekend
USA Today
Valkyrie
** 2 hours
German Col. Claus von Stauffenberg (Tom
Cruise) leads a plot to assassinate Adult
Hitler. Based on actual events.
In Theaters this weekend
USA Today
Director: Bryan Singer (Superman Returns, XMen)
PG-13 for violence and brief strong language
Upside: The inherently dramatic story of the
Hitler plot is slickly staged. An A-list
supporting cast.
Downside: Cruse is miscast in a movie that is
oddly lacking in compelling action.
Frey rebounds with
messy ‘Morning’
by Dierdre Donahue, USA Today
Bright Shiny Morning
By James Frey
Harper, 501 pp. $26.95
Give the bloodied but clearly unbowed
James Frey points for unbridled ambition.
Frey rebounds with
messy ‘Morning’
by Dierdre Donahue, USA Today
His truth-challenged memoir A Million Little
Pieces may have put Oprah’s knickers in
a televised twist, but Frey’s new novel,
Bright Shiny Morning, reveals a massive
literary ego in full, flourishing bloom.
Unfettered by traditional grammar,
punctuation or even paragraphs, Frey has
pounded out a novel that tries to rip
Frey rebounds with
messy ‘Morning’
by Dierdre Donahue, USA Today
open the raw underbelly of modern Los
Angeles. His goal: to reveal the boozesoaked, drug-crazed, porn-addicted
Sodom with all its corruption, cruelty and
occasional moments of transcendent
beauty.
Morning teems with dozens of characters.
Maybe hundreds. Some appear briefly,
Frey rebounds with
messy ‘Morning’
by Dierdre Donahue, USA Today
others stay for the whole book. The central
ones: a psycho male movie star, a saintly
Hispanic domestic, two Midwestern
teens and an alcoholic bum.
Alas, Frey is o John Steinbeck or Dos
Passos. Morning is a gusher, too often
spouting bad prose, predictable plots,
and one-dimensional characters (the
Frey rebounds with
messy ‘Morning’
by Dierdre Donahue, USA Today
poor ones are good, the rich ones are evil.)
There’s also constant bad behavior: booze,
abuse, crime, murder. Frey also tosses in
a celebration of young love that would do
a romance writer proud. By the end,
Morning reads like a saccharine-sweet
hallmark Special that Oliver Stone wrote
and Quentin Tarantino directed.
Frey rebounds with
messy ‘Morning’
by Dierdre Donahue, USA Today
Frey also includes a tsunami of historical
trivia about the city: gang names, riots,
highways, movie trivia, floods. Which is
kind of neat.
Bottom line: If, despite the scandal, you
loved A Million Little Pieces, you might
want to devour Bright Shiny Morning.
Frey rebounds with
messy ‘Morning’
by Dierdre Donahue, USA Today
Like its author, it can be called many things,
but never boring. Or timid.
Living History
USA Today, June 17, 2008
The following is not a review. It is an
editorial. However, you should be able to
see some of the qualities of a review in
the commentary.
Living History
USA Today, June 17, 2008
For 72 holes, Tiger Woods limped and
grimaced his way through this year’s U.S.
Open golf tournament, keeping himself in
the running with spectacular shots when
he needed them the most.
When that wasn’t enough, he fought his way
through a dramatic 18-hole playoff that
Living History
USA Today, June 17, 2008
no doubt sent office productivity plummeting across the USA on Monday afternoon.
Woods birdied the final hole to pull even with
his improbable foe, journeyman Rocco
Mediate, then prevailed on the first hole
of sudden death.
Seeing Woods, 32, in his prime is like watch-
Living History
USA Today, June 17, 2008
ing Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan or any other
giant of past sporting ages. He has won
14 major golf tournaments, sometimes
by demolishing the competition, and
sometimes by finding seemingly
miraculous ways to win. Woods provides
sports fans few excuses for not living in
the moment.
Living History
USA Today, June 17, 2008
Beating Mediate, who was vying to become
the oldest and the lowest-ranked golfer
to win the U.S. Open, wasn’t one of
Woods’ most convincing victories. But
struggling with a recently reconstructed
knee, it was one of his most memorable,
a remarkable display of mental and
physical toughness.
Living History
USA Today, June 17, 2008
Mediate’s accomplishment was no less
impressive. As he fought back from a
three-stroke deficit during Monday’s
playoff at Torrey Pines in coastal
California, much of the nation was
pulling for him. Perhaps the only thing
better than watching Woods’ steady
assault on all of golf’s records is to see
Living History
USA Today, June 17, 2008
an impossible upset. A 45-year-old who had
never won a major tournament came
withing inches of pulling it off.
Sports is a form of escapism, not world
peace or a cure for cancer. But at its
best, it can give fans, and even non-fans,
a sense of joy to be alive at the moment,
to witness something spectacular.
Living History
USA Today, June 17, 2008
At a time when it might be a bit easy to be
cynical about sports—for performanceenhancing drugs, cheating scandals,
misbehaving athletes and more—it is
refreshing to see that a dazzling event
such as this year’s U.S. Open can so
captivate the golfer and non-golfer alike.
Living History
USA Today, June 17, 2008
It had everything—spectacular play, likeable
figures, unending drama.
See it now. Savor it. One day, you’ll be telling
the grandchildren about it.
Not all reviewers see
movies the same way
Good Night, and Good Luck: “Get out
there. Rob a bank. Mug an old lady.
Whatever—just do something. Whatever you do, it will probably be more
exciting than watching the drama
genre-classified Good Night, and Good
Luck. The film has about as much
interest as watching flies reproduce.
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
Not all reviewers see movies the same way!!
“Let’s take it back to the 50s. Television is still
black and white, Eisenhower is President, and
communism plays a large threat to
Americans. Things were happening in the
government that no one wanted to talk about,
except Edward Murrow and the CBS news
crew. This was a time when history was being
made, and George Clooney captured it
REVIEWERS’ TASKS
wonderfully in “Good Night, and Good Luck.”
REVIEWERS MUST DO
HOMEWORK
Familiarize themselves in
every way possible with the
genre, work, actors,
directors, food, show and
similar shows, game, music,
background…
AUDIENCE/READER
REACTION
• Should be included in good
reviews
• May be a way to “review”
student productions
GRADING and RATINGS
• Letter grades
GRADING and RATINGS
• Stars
GRADING and RATINGS
• Something unique: paws,
forks, film reels, other
ideas?
GRADING and RATINGS
•Whatever your staff
chooses, be consistent
throughout your publication
regardless of what is
reviewed or who reviews it
GRADING and RATINGS
• For movies, give the G, PG,
PG-13, R rating and explain why it
is rated that way
• Include running time
GRADING and RATINGS
• Decide if your staff will review
R-rated movies and explain in
your staff manual so everyone on
publication staff understands
GRADING and RATINGS
• For restaurants, give price
ranges, appropriate dress, hours,
address, phone number,
reservation information and
parking information
CONCLUSION
Should tie in with the lead
REVIEW STANDARDS
1. Support critical comments with
specific examples.
REVIEW STANDARDS
2. Point out strengths as well as
weaknesses.
REVIEW STANDARDS
3. Criticize and praise throughout
an opinion piece.
REVIEW STANDARDS
4. Know the field you criticize -- but
DON’T write about the production
you or your friends or your enemies
are in or the restaurant your family
owns. In other words, be ethical.
REVIEW STANDARDS
5. DON’T plagiarize!!!! It’s easy to do
today with so many reviews on the
Internet.
REVIEW STANDARDS
The Medill school of Journalism at
Northwestern University has the following
definition of plagiarism:
Plagiarism consists of intentionally or knowingly
representing the words or ideas of another person
as one’s own. Plagiarism includes, but is not limited
to, the knowing or intentional failure to attribute
language or ideas to their original source, in the
manner required by the academic discipline (such
as quotation marks, attribution in the text, and
footnote citations in an academic exercise) or in the
manner required in journalism practice.
REVIEW STANDARDS
From a student’s review on “A Million Little
Pieces”--Investigators began to allege that
“Pieces” was based on characters and
events from such novels as “Another Day in
Paradise” and “Steel Toes,” both written by
drug addict Eddie Little. In January, Frey
acknowledged that he either embellished
or fabricated many elements of the book on
an interview with Oprah Winfrey.
REVIEW STANDARDS
From a review on Wikipedia.com-Investigators began to allege that elements
of his best selling memoir, “A Million Little
Pieces,” were not true; and that other
events and characters presented in the
book were plagiarized from the novels
“Another Day in Paradise” and “Steel Toes,”
both written by the deceased drug addict
Eddie Little. In January 2006…Frey
acknowledged that he either embellished
or outright fabricated many elements of the
book.
What’s My Line?
“You had me at hello.”
“Mama always said life is
like a box of chocolates.”
What’s My Line?
“I feel the need, the need
for speed.”
“I’m the king of the world.”
What’s My Line?
“They call me Mr. Tibbs.”
“Fasten your seat belts. It’s
going to be a bumpy night.”
What’s My Line?
“You can’t handle the
truth.”
What are the answers?
What’s My Line?
• “You Had Me At Hello”--Renée
Zellwegger in Jerry Maguire
• “Mama always said life is like a box
of chocolates”--Tom Hanks in Forrest
Gump
• “I feel the need, the need for
speed”--Tom Cruise in Top Gun.
What’s My Line?
• “I’m the king of the world”-Leonardo DiCaprio in Titantic.
• “They call me Mr. Tibbs”--Sidney
Poitier in The Heat of the Night.
What’s My Line?
• “Fasten your set belts. It’s going to
be a bumpy night”--Bette Davis in All
About Eve
• “You can’t handle the truth?--Jack
Nicholson in A Few Good Men.
What’s My Line?
The American Film
Institute in June 2005
chose the top 100 film lines
of all time. The top five
were:
What’s My Line?
10. “You talking to me?”
What’s My Line?
10. “You talking to me?”
(Taxi Driver)
What’s My Line?
9. “Fasten your seatbelts.
It’s going to be a bumpy
night.”
What’s My Line?
9. “Fasten your seatbelts.
It’s going to be a bumpy
night.” (All About Eve)
What’s My Line?
8. “May the Force be with
you.”
What’s My Line?
8. “May the Force be with
you.” (Star Wars)
What’s My Line?
7. “All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m
ready for my close-up.”
What’s My Line?
7. “All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m
ready for my close-up.”
(Sunset Boulevard)
What’s My Line?
6. “Go ahead, make my
day.”
What’s My Line?
6. “Go ahead, make my
day.” (Sudden Impact)
What’s My Line?
5. “Here’s looking at
you,kid.”
What’s My Line?
5. “Here’s looking at
you,kid.” (Casablanca)
What’s My Line?
4. “Toto, I’ve got a feeling
we’re not in Kansas
anymore.”
What’s My Line?
4. “Toto, I’ve got a feeling
we’re not in Kansas
anymore.” (The Wizard of
Oz)
What’s My Line?
3. “I coulda been a contender. I
coulda been somebody, instead
of a bum, which is what I am.”
What’s My Line?
3. “I coulda been a contender. I
coulda been somebody, instead of a
bum, which is what I am.” (On the
Waterfront)
What’s My Line?
2. “I’m going to make him an
offer he can’t refuse.”
What’s My Line?
2. “I’m going to make him an offer he
can’t refuse.” (The Godfather)
What’s My Line?
1. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a
damn.”
What’s My Line?
1. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
(Gone With the Wind)
What’s My Line?
1.
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
(Gone With the Wind)
This is the way Rhett Butler said
Goodbye to Scarlet. Who said
these ofher “Goodbye” lines?
What’s My Line?
“It’s not over until the Fat Lady
sings.”
What’s My Line?
“It’s not over until the Fat Lady
sings.”--Dan Cook, San Antonio
Spurs broadcaster
What’s My Line?
“Say ‘good night’ Gracie.”
What’s My Line?
“Say ‘good night’ Gracie.”
--George Burns
What’s My Line?
“The Tribe Has Spoken.”
What’s My Line?
“The Tribe Has Spoken.”--emcee on
Survivor
What’s My Line?
“Good Night Mrs. Calabash,
wherever you are.”
What’s My Line?
“Good Night Mrs. Calabash,
wherever you are.”--Jimmy
Durante
What’s My Line?
“Promise me, you’ll never forget me,
because if I thought you would,
I’d never leave.”
What’s My Line?
“Promise me, you’ll never forget me,
because if I thought you would,
I’d never leave.”--Winnie the Pooh
What’s My Line?
Can you match these memorable first lines
from books with their well-known titles?
Charles Howard had the feel of a gigantic
onrushing machine: You had to either climb
on or leap out of the way.
What’s My Line?
Seabiscuit by Lauren Hillenbrand
What’s My Line?
It is a truth universally
acknowledged that a single man in
possession of a good fortune must
be in want of a good wife.
What’s My Line?
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
What’s My Line?
You better not never tell nobody but
God.
What’s My Line?
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
What’s My Line?
The village of Holcomb stands on
the high wheat plains of western
Kansas, a lonesome area that other
Kansans call “out there.”
What’s My Line?
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
What’s My Line?
In my younger and more vulnerable
years, my father gave me some
advice that I’ve been turning over in
my mind ever since.
What’s My Line?
The Great Gatsby by Scott Fitzgerald
What’s My Line?
When he was nearly 13, my brother
Jem got his arm badly broken at the
elbow.
What’s My Line?
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
What’s My Line?
This is a story about a man named
Eddie and it begins at the end, with
Eddie dying in the sun.
What’s My Line?
The Five People Your Meet In Heaven
by Mitch Albom
What’s My Line?
Renowned curator Jacaues Sauniere
staggered through the vaulted
archway of the museum’s Grand
Gallery.
What’s My Line?
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
High School Movies
In its Sept. 15, 2006 issue, Entertainment
Weekly listed the 50 best high school
movies of all time.
High School Movies
50.
49.
48.
47.
46.
45.
Splendor in the Grass (1951
Sixteen Candles (1984)
Just One of the Guys (1985
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Flirting (1992)
My Bodyguard (1980)
High School Movies
44.
43.
42.
41.
40.
39.
Can’t Hardly Wait (1998)
Stand and Deliver (1988)
Fame (1980)
Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)
Risky Business (1983)
The Virgin Suicides (2000)
High School Movies
38. Bye Bye Birdie (1963)
37. Friday Night Lights (2004)
36. Harry Potter and the Goblet of
Fire (2005)
35. Brick (2006)
34. Get Real (1999)
High School Movies
33.
32.
31.
30.
29.
28.
Hoop Dreams (1994)
Scream (1996)
The Karate Kid (1984)
Bring It On (2000)
Gregory’s Girl (1982)
Back to the Future (1985)
High School Movies
27.
26.
25.
24.
23.
22.
To Sir, With Love (1967)
Pretty in Pink (1986)
Hoosiers (1986)
Rushmore (1998)
Cooley High (1975)
American Pie (1999)
High School Movies
21.
20.
19.
18.
17.
16.
Grease (1978)
Dead Poets Society (1989)
The Last Picture Show (1971)
Rock ‘N’ Roll High School (1979)
Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)
Lucas (1986)
High School Movies
15.
14.
13.
12.
11.
10.
Carrie (1976)
Donnie Darko (2001)
High School (1968)
Mean Girls (2004)
Say Anything (1989)
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
High School Movies
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
Election (1999)
Boyz In the Hood (1991)
Clueless (1995)
American Graffiti (1973)
Heathers (1989)
Rebel Without A Cause (1955)
High School Movies
3. Dazed and Confused (1993)
2. Fast Times At Ridgmont High
(1982)
High School Movies
1. The Breakfast Club (1985)
We see it as we want to see it—in the
simplest terms, the most convenient
definition: The Breakfast Club is the
best high school movie of all time. It
may lack the scope of its peers—the
High School Movies
drinking, the driving, the listless loitering
in parking lots—and any scenes that
actually take place during school. But
if hell is other people—and high
school is hell—then John Hughes is
the genre’s Sartre, and this is his
High School Movies
no Exit. The concept is simple: one
Saturday detention, five unhappy
teens, and their scramble to prove
they’re each something more than a
brain (Anthony Michael Hall), an
athlete (Emilio Estevez), a basket
case (Ally
High School Movies
Sheedy), a princess (Molly Ringwald), and
a criminal (Judd Nelson). After the
farcical fluff of Sixteen Candles, the
issues Hughes explored—sex, drugs,
abuse, suicide, the need to belong—
were surprisingly sub-
High School Movies
versive and handled with bracing, R-rated
honesty. “Kids movie,” “ ‘Kids movie,’
was a derogatory term,” recalls
Nelson, “and Hughes was definitely
not making that.” Thus, 21 years
later, the film still sparks
High School Movies
intense debates abut the trials of teen
life. (Sheedy’s goth freak gets a
makeover, then gets the guy; wellearned happy ending or antifeminist
propaganda? Discuss!) Never mind
the sociological stuff. The Breakfast
High School Movies
Club rules because watching the group
dismantle/ignore the authority of
Principal “Dick” Vernon (Paul
Gleason) is a vicarious thrill at any
age. It rules because Simple Minds’
“Don’t You (Forget About Me)”
High School Movies
Is a kick-ass theme. Mostly it rules
because, as Hall puts it, “In the end,
you learn maybe we’re more alike
than we realize, and that’s kind of
cool.” Leave it to the neo-maxi-zoomdweebie to get all cheesy.
High School Movies
Even celebrities can’t always escape
embarrassing school pictures. Can
you identify these actors by their
actual yearbook photos? Each
appears in at least one of the top 50
high school movies.
High School Movies
•
•
•
•
•
•
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
James Dean
Cybill Shepherd
Robin Williams
Winona Ryder
Sissy Spacek
Emilio Estevez
High School Movies
• 7. Alicia Silverstone
• 8. Sean Penn
• 9. Nicolas Cage (then Nicolas
Coppola)
• 10. Kathleen Turner
• 11. Natalie Wood
• 12. Ben Stein
10 books to read
before you die
• Survey conducted in 2008 by Netscape
•
•
•
•
•
10. Gone With the Wind
9. Lord of the Rings
8. Harry Potter
7. The Stand
6. The Da Vinci Code
10 books to read
before you die
• Survey conducted in 2008 by Netscape
•
•
•
•
5.
4.
3.
2.
To Kill a Mockingbird
Angels & Demons
Atlas Shrugged
Catcher in the Rye
10 books to read
before you die
• Survey conducted in 2008 by Netscape
• 1. The Bible
Shave off some time with
Schick Intuition razor
by Rita Petruccelli, Rockville High School
“Poor men. They are always waiting for women to get
redy.” NO! It is the other way around; we should be saying
poor women. The only reason women take so long to get
ready is because men have so many expectations of what a
woman should be and look like. Women are expected to
groom so that they smell sweet, have pretty hair and
smooth skin.
Among the most annoying grooming tasks for women is
leg hair removal. It is a never ending and time consuming
Shave off some time with
Schick Intuition razor
by Rita Petruccelli, Rockville High School
chore. With so many products on the market, who knows
what works and what works best?
There are hair removal creams, waxes and razors that have
pivoting heads, multiple blades, and comforting and
conditioning strips. Fortunately, you never have to worry
about all of these confusing features ever again because
one razor stands above the rest: the Shick Intuition.
Schick Intuition has a triple blade head that pivots and
contours to your leg. To many of you this sounds like the
Shave off some time with
Schick Intuition razor
by Rita Petruccelli, Rockville High School
Venus razor. However, unlike the Venus, the Intuition’s
head is not overly wobbly and gives you more control,
which means fewer cuts.
Another nice feature of the Intuition is its effective overall
design. With a large handle covered in large rubber grips,
the product is easy to use in the shower.
The blade of the Intuition is urrounded by a “Skin
Conditioning Solid” that applies the perfect amount of soap
to your leg so that you avoid razor burn and the blades of
Shave off some time with
Schick Intuition razor
by Rita Petruccelli, Rockville High School
your razor don’t get clogged with excess soap. Having the
soap right there on the razor makes shaving quick in the
shower and so much easier.
The “Skin Conditioner Solid” not only serves as a
lubricant, but a moisturizer as well, containing aloe, cocoa
butter and vitamin E. This razor combines all of the steps
of shaving into one. Genius!
Now you’re saying, “Great, but what happens when the
soap runs out or when the razor needs to be changed?”
Shave off some time with
Schick Intuition razor
by Rita Petruccelli, Rockville High School
The shaving head self-adjusts to the level of the angled
solid left so that the razor will always have contact with the
skin no matter the level of solid. When the time comes to
change the blade or solid, simply pop in a new all -in-one
cartridge.
If you don’t want to take my word for it, try it for yourself.
You can purchase the razor at any drugstore for around $8,
and if y ou end up hating the product, the Schcik Intuition
has an unconditional guarantee. You can send the razor
back and get a full refund.
Woods game keeps
getting better
Bill Bradley, The Tennessean
•What: Tiger Woods 2005 by EA Sports for Xbox and
PlayStation 2.
•When: Available now.
•Where: Most video game retailers.
•The skinny: The latest obsession from EA Sports
video game of the year. There’s no question that the
Tiger Woods video franchise was an addictive game
that offered a lot of realism and a hint of fantasy.
This year’s version shows the games creators—as
Woods game keeps
getting better
Bill Bradley, The Tennessean
well as Tiger himself—have a sense of humor. The
“Tigerproofing” feature lets you change a course to
make it tougher for you and/or opponents. You can
change the length from the tee box to green, make
sand traps deeper and narrow the fairways. This
didn’t take away from the game’s already smooth
features such as variables of the swing, the namebrand equipment you can “buy” with earnings or
the deep array of courses. Also, it features online
play, which isn’t advised unless you have mastered
Woods game keeps
getting better
Bill Bradley, The Tennessean
the game—it’s easy to lose unless you know your
clubs and courses.
•Worth it?: At $49.99 by all means it is. Create your
own player to look like yourself. The biggest test of
your skill, though, will be playing against legends
like Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer. A little piece
of advice: block out an entire afternoon someday if
you really want to enjoy this game to its fullest.
Football looks warm
under “Lights”
Town portrait transcends sports
By Robert Blanco, USA Today
Friday Night Lights
NBC, tonight, 8 ET/PT
ddd 1/2 out of four
Texas high schools have no monopoly on
Friday night lights.
Like the book and movie on which it’s based
Football looks warm
under “Lights”
the heart-piercing Lights engulfs us in the joys
and travails of a small-town Texas football
team and its fans. But while the show is all
the better for its specificity, it is’nt limited by
it. Lights will ring true with anyone who grew
up where the high school is the focal point of
city pride and the main provider of
entertainment—the NFL, the NBA, Broadway
Football looks warm
under “Lights”
Hollywood and Carnegie Hall all wrapped in
one.
Written and directed by Peter Berg, who did
the same for the movie, Lights takes us into
Dillon, Texas, which is revved up for the first
game of the Dillon Panthers. There are
concerns about the new coach (Kyle
Chandler), but they’re tempered by the town’s
Football looks warm
under “Lights”
faith in the star quarterback, Jason Street
(Scott Porter).
In beautifully shot, faux-documentary fashion,
Lights traces the activities, large and small,
that lead up to the season opener. The climax
is a well-choreographed game that generates
a fair share of excitement—despite an
outcome that will seem preordained to
Football looks warm
under “Lights”
anyone who saw the Lights movie or almost
any other sports movie.
The real joy of the show lies in its smaller
moments. The show abounds with accurately
observed, artfully rendered snippets of real
life, from the obnoxious businessmen who
cluster around the coach, to the nattering
voices on radio, to the solidity of the churches
Football looks warm
under “Lights”
and the faith they represent.
The picture those mosaic moments creat is
not as sharp or dark as that of the book. Still,
it does include images of racism and class
divides and the sometimes misplaced
priorities of high school athletics.
Given a rold that both plays off his good-guy
Football looks warm
under “Lights”
image and digs beneath it, Chandler responds
with his most mature performance yet.
There’s also standout work from film holdover
Connie Britton as the coach’s wife, Zach
Gilford as the quiet backup quarterback, and
Jesse Plemons as his humorously chatty
friend.
Over time, Lights would be wise to desanctify
Football looks warm
under “Lights”
Street and add some nuance to the town
tramp. And while the portraits of the selfcentered black star Smash and his sassy
mama are not necessarily inaccurate or
offensive, they are awfully familiar. It would be
nice to see a few more characters, black and
white, who surprise us.
Football looks warm
under “Lights”
Still, even as is, Lights has a rare ability to
portray life in small-town America without
being condescending or sentimental. Those
are rich fields to explore, and Lights shows
promise of doing so with both warmth and
intelligence. In towns small and large, that
could be a game winner.
10 Tips on Writing
Reviews
by Steve Row, Richmond Newspapers, Inc.
(1) Know what you are talking about. Your worth as a
critic or reviewers drops off dramatically if you misspell
the name of an actor, if you get the title of a song
wrong, or if you make some other mistake. At least one
of your readers will know more than you about what
you are reviewing; in all probability, many readers will
know at least as much as you do, if not more.
10 Tips on Writing
Reviews
by Steve Row, Richmond Newspapers, Inc.
(2) Take a stand and stick with it and give reasons for
your analysis. Reviews are not written by wimps.
Remember that you should not say in a review “This is a
great movie.” Instead you must say “This is a great
movie because…” By the same token, don’t use “I” in
the review. Don’t say “In my opinion” or “I think” or “It
seems to me that…” The review is understood to be the
writer’s opinion, so no additional emphasis is
necessary. Use strong, effective language. Evoke
images, make comparisons, use metaphors.
10 Tips on Writing
Reviews
by Steve Row, Richmond Newspapers, Inc.
(3)Take notes whenever you are reviewing. You cannot
remember everything you see or hear. If something in
the movie or play reminds you of something you have
seen before, take note. If something you hear reminds
you of something you have heard before, take note.
Then mention it regardless of whether you praise or
criticize its reference to the earlier work. (Taking notes
at a restaurant is difficult, but you might ask for a menu
to take home with you.)
10 Tips on Writing
Reviews
by Steve Row, Richmond Newspapers, Inc.
(4) Be observant of the subject you are reviewing, and
show the reader you have been observant. If you say
the backup musicians play well, give an example or two
or three. If you are annoyed by the soundtrack at
certain points of the movie, say when. In concert
reviews, refer not only to the performance, but also to
the setting, atmosphere and crowd.
10 Tips on Writing
Reviews
by Steve Row, Richmond Newspapers, Inc.
(5) Criticism means you can be critical of something.
You are evaluating something, and if you don’t like it,
say so. Don’t criticize 100% of the work if you found
something to like, and don’t praise 100% of the work if
you found something you didn’t like.
10 Tips on Writing
Reviews
by Steve Row, Richmond Newspapers, Inc.
(6)Know some history of the work and the people
responsible for the work (See No. 1). If this is the
television actress’s first film, say so. If this is the
group’s 10th recording, say so. If the restaurant just
opened, say so. This helps establish your credibility.
10 Tips on Writing
Reviews
by Steve Row, Richmond Newspapers, Inc.
(7) Be sure to tell the reader what you are reviewing.
It’s not just a movie, it’s a mystery or drama or comedy
or romance or science fiction. It’s not just a recording,
it’s ska or metal or fusion or alternative or country. Say
what the restaurant specializes in.
10 Tips on Writing
Reviews
by Steve Row, Richmond Newspapers, Inc.
(8) Pay Attention to How a Review is Written. You don’t
need to quote other people who have seen the same
movie, heard the same CD, eaten at the same
restaurant. This is not a feature story; this is one
writer’s analysis of something. Also, restaurant,
concert and play reviews can be written in past tense,
but movie, video, videogame, television, book and CD
reviews can be written in present tense. Include the
rating of the movie (and why); include the address of
the restaurant and the range of prices on the menu.
10 Tips on Writing
Reviews
by Steve Row, Richmond Newspapers, Inc.
(9) Remember that as a critic, you are providing
consumer information to your readers. Your readers
need good analysis of a movie that they might have to
spend $7 for, or a CD that they have to spend $13 for, or
a video that they have to spend $3 to rent, or a
restaurant meal that they have to spend $15 for.
Remember to put in such things as the name of the
theater where the movie is playing, the exact street
address of the restaurant, the cost and publisher of the
book, the night and time and network of the TV show.
10 Tips on Writing
Reviews
by Steve Row, Richmond Newspapers, Inc.
(10) Don’t get carried away with your role as
critic/reviewer. If the reader cannot understand what
you’re trying to say, because you aren’t being clear,
they will stop reading you. If your analysis is filled with
mistakes or factual errors, readers will stop reading
you. If your opinion seems too far-fetched, or too
abrasive or cynical, or if it doesn’t reflect thorough
knowledge of what is being reviewed, readers will stop
reading you.
One additional tip on
writing reviews
by H. L. Hall, Middle Tennessee Scholastic Press
Association
(1) Avoid wordiness. Short reviews are more apt to be
read than long ones. Make your stand, support it, and
leave. Put some information in a sidebox, such as
length, rating and cost.
Phyllis Diller Makes Hit
with One-Liners
by Dick Richmond, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
He who laughs first is probably going to miss the
next 10 jokes. At least, that’s the case when Phyllis
Diller is performing.
The queen of the one-liners opened a week-long
run at Six Flag Over Mid-America Monday night. After
the show, when people walked out of the amphitheater,
there were remarks like, “I wonder how she remembers
all that stuff.” And “I don’t think her legs are so bad.”
Phyllis, who once called Webster Groves home,
made a career of laughing at herself with none-to-
Phyllis Diller Makes Hit
with One-Liners
by Dick Richmond, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
gentle nudges into the ribs of husband Fang and inlaws. The husband and in-laws became mythical once
she and Fang departed company several years ago.
The comedian was dressed in an orange-andwhite mini-dress that looked like a lampshade from a
house, not a home, fitting her rather individual way of
looking at things. Her legs are made to look thinner
because of the low-top boots she wears.
“Look at these legs,” she told the crowd. “One
Phyllis Diller Makes Hit
with One-Liners
by Dick Richmond, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
man is crazy about them — Col. Sanders. He’s named a
special dinner after me. Comes with no breasts. I’m the
only person I know with two backs.”
But Phyllis isn’t dumb.
“Bo Derek is dumb. If you ever see light coming
out of her eyes, it’s the sun shining through the back of
her head. I think they pulled her braids too tight.
“Fang is dumb, too. I told him the gas pipe had a
leak. He put a pan under it. When we got married, we
Phyllis Diller Makes Hit
with One-Liners
by Dick Richmond, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
had a civil ceremony. His mother didn’t come.”
Politics.
“Clinton vs. Dole. I vote for versus. I heard it got
so cold in Washington last winter that they found a
congressman with his hands in his own pockets.”
Chelsea and Hillary.
“Chelsea is an unfortunate looking child. Like
Little Orphan Annie with pupils. Hillary. God knows
she’s outlived her skin. I told Fang I was going to have
Phyllis Diller Makes Hit
with One-Liners
by Dick Richmond, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
my face lifted. He said, ‘who would steal it.’ ”
“Fang will never wear out. He has no moving
parts. Hates work. One morning he called in dead.
Doctor told him he has malnutrition. He thought he
caught it off a toilet seat.”
And the mother-in-law.
“Fat old bat. I’d like to split her girdle and watch
her spread to death. I didn’t give her a Christmas
present because she didn’t use the one I gave her last
Phyllis Diller Makes Hit
with One-Liners
by Dick Richmond, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
year — a cemetery plot. She hates dogs; her legs look
like hydrants.
“I have a dog. It’s nothing but a fur-covered
kidney that barks.”
But it’s Phyllis who suffers the most with selfinflicted barbs.
“I’m taking vitamins A,B,C,D,E and I still look like
H. I look so bad, I’m being sued by a peeping Tom. Now
I have old age to contend with. It hit me from the rear.
Phyllis Diller Makes Hit
with One-Liners
by Dick Richmond, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Heard of water on the knee. I’ve got gas. The only dates
I ever had when I was a kid was with Catholic boys
during Lent. I’m in my 24th year of a 10-day beauty
plan.”
And this evening she’ll be in the second night of
a seven-day funny plan. Shows are at 7 and 10 p.m.
Phyllis Diller Makes Hit
with One-Liners
by Dick Richmond, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Heard of water on the knee. I’ve got gas. The only dates
I ever had when I was a kid was with Catholic boys
during Lent. I’m in my 24th year of a 10-day beauty
plan.”
And this evening she’ll be in the second night of
a seven-day funny plan. Shows are at 7 and 10 p.m.
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
Excerpts from Rick Seltzer’s reviews for Carlisle High
School’s newspaper, Periscope. Ratings are on a scale
of up to five “sporks.”
“Sadly, cafeteria pizza has been plagued by inconsistencies in the past. For instance, it is often quite
greasy. This problem can be solved by gently dabbing
the pizza surface with a napkin. Unfortunately, this
leaves dry-tasting napkin fibers on the cheese.”--Pizza,
three sporks.
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
“The soup’s taste was good, though it wasn’t the
‘clammiest’ clam chowder I have ever tasted.
Unfortunately, the soup seemed a bit watery for
chowder. I fixed these problems easily by liberally using
crackers.”--New England Clam Chowder--five sporks
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
“In true chicken spirit, the chicken patty meat tastes a
little like every food imaginable. The breading adds an
important salty flavor. To complete the delicious entrée,
the bun has an adequate amount of bread without being
too ‘doughy.’ ” --Chicken patty, five sporks
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
CARLISLE, Pennsylvania (AP) -- Rick Seltzer’s interest in
journalism and passion for food have thrust him into an
unusual role at his high school newspaper: cafeteria
critic.
Seltzer has written Rick’s Café Critique, a regular
feature in the monthly Periscope, since about midway
through his junior year at Carlisle High School. He has
graded everything from chicken patties to cheese
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
Steaks using a rating system of up to five ‘sporks,’
plastic utensils that combine a spoon and a fork.
It seems everyone devours his monthly bites of wisdom
except for the cafeteria staff, oddly enough. But the 18year-old senior says he doesn’t want his musings to be
mistaken for a high school-style Zagat guide.
“People have taken it for what it is…something that’s
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
entertaining,” he said. “It’s really something to lighten
your day.”
Seltzer’s culinary critiques appear to be a rarity in high
school journalism. It’s more common for school
newspapers to publish news stories focusing on the
quality of cafeteria food, said Marc Wood, a spokesman
for the National Scholastic Press Association in
Minneapolis.
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
“As far as I know, food reviews are pretty rare in high
school press,” Wood said.
It all started for Seltzer--whose uncle is an executive
chef at local Dickinson College and whose late
grandfather also was a chef--when he joined the
newspaper in the 2003-04 school year.
In staff meetings, he was prone to raving enthusiasti-
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
cally about a favorite foodstuff he had consumed that
day, such as the egg sandwich.
His fellow staffers found his commentary so
entertaining that they encouraged him to write a
regular cafeteria column, said English teacher Robert
Moyer, the newspaper’s adviser.
“We’ve had a lot of good student response to the
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
column,” Moyer said. “I enjoy the column, and I’ve never
eaten the cafeteria food.”
Fellow senior Susan Thomas, 17, counts herself among
Seltzer’s regular readers. She said she’s particularly
amused by the silly photos of the author that
accompany the column--in one, he wore a chef’s hat
while eating clam chowder.
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
“It’s the first thing I read,” she said. “ A lot of it is for
the picture.”
Food-service director Kelly Renard read Seltzer’s
inaugural review--four sporks for clam chowder--but
didn’t realize it was a regular fixture until a local
newspaper recently published a story about Seltzer.
Renard said Seltzer’s scrutiny doesn’t upset her, but
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
she would like a chance to educate him about cafeteria
operations.
“If he’s doing it the same way he would review a
McDonald’s or a Burger King, we fall under completely
different guidelines and can’t do the same things that a
normal restaurant would do,” she said.
Seltzer said he avoids overly harsh criticism because
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
he understands the school has hundreds of students to
feed over three lunch periods, each lasting less than a
half-hour.
And even though he began the school year bemoaning a
new “healthy eating” policy, which replaced regular
potato chips with baked ones, among other things, he
said the overall food quality has “definitely” improved
since then.
Seltzer’s Reviews
Associated Press Article
“Whether it’s me, or whether they’re getting used to
cooking what they’re cooking, I don’t know,” he said.
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
Stretch Your Mind
Time magazine writers stretched their minds when they
compared 2005 remakes of movies to the earlier
versions. “Summer movies are all about escapism,”
Time said. But this year at least a dozen of the biggest
retell stories we already love. Why do we adore
repeats?
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
War of the Worlds
BASED ON The 1988 novel by H.G. Wells, as well as the
1953 movie in which whistling, stingray-shaped alien
ships attack Los Angeles
UPDATING TECHNIQUES Starring Tom Cruise and
Dakota Fanning and set in New Jersey today. It has
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
Batman Begins
BASED ON The 1939 DC Comics superhero who has
been constantly refashioned for TV (with Adam West
and Burt Ward) and movies
UPDATING TECHNIQUE This Batman is barely older
than a boy. The movie traces teenager Bruce Wayne’s
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
journey to Caped Crusader, perhaps to wipe audiences’ minds
clear of that nipple suit
STUNT CASTING It’s supposed to be a classy, dark Batman,
so the movie is chock-full of Oscar nominees (Michael Caine,
Liam Neeson, Morgan Freeman, Ken Watanabe and Tom
Wilkinson)
WATCH FOR The new bat cape, made from a special blend of
kite and police-helmet fabrics
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
Bewitched
BASED ON The long-running ‘60s TV show starring
Elizabeth Montgomery and Dick York
UPDATING TECHNIQUE It’s a comedy of Hollywood
manners. The premise is that they’re remaking the old
show (Will Farrell plays an actor playing Darrin) and
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
they cast a real witch (played by Nicole Kidman) as
Samantha
STUNT CASTING The film’s crew doubled as the TV’s
show’s crew members in the movie, making them
possibly the most qualified extras ever.
WATCH FOR Michael Caine (Nigel) and Shirley
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
MacLaine (Endora), who are reunited as lovers for the
first time since Gambit (1966), Caine’s first American
film. For Gambit MacLaine, who starred, specifically
requested him as her leading man
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
BASED ON The shuddery Roald Dahl book--not, stress
the producers, the Gene Wilder movie with little orange
folks
UPDATING TECHNIQUE No musical numbers, please.
We’re serious. The original had a homespun feel, but
with Tim Burton and Johnny Depp on board, this one is
bound to be a lot darker.
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
STUNT CASTING Burton’s companion, Helena Bonham
Carter, stars as Mrs. Bucket. All the Oompa-Loompas
are played by one guy, the charmingly Deep Roy
WATCH FOR The nut-room scene, in which real
squirrels sit on stools, shell nuts and drop them on a
conveyor belt. It took an animal trainer 19 weeks to
teach 40 squirrels the trick
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
The Longest Yard
BASED ON The 1974 movie about a jailbird football
team that plays against its guards
STUNT CASTING Lots. Burt Reynolds was the
quarterback in the original; now he’s the coach. Also
rap star Nelly (a former high school player) and lots of
ex-NFL biggies.
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
UPDATING TECHNIQUE Adam Sandler and Chris Rock
got to ad-lib a lot, so yet, it’s funnier. Plus, there’s a
modern-day media circus surrounding the big prisonersvs.-guards game
WATCH OUT FOR The former pro players wearing their
old NFL numbers
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
The Dukes of Hazzard
BASED ON The 1979-85 TV series
REFRESHED BY Casting two noted pranksters, Johnny
Knoxville and Seann William Scott, as the brothers
NUMBERS Thirty General Lee Muscle cars were made for the
movie; 24 of them were totaled
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
Fantastic Four
BASED ON The comic and TV series
REFRESHED BY It’s the first live-action Four, and
comic-book actor Stan Lee plays one of his creations.
IT’S A LOOK It took Michael Chiklis three hours a day
to put on makeup and his 60 lb. Latex suit
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
Bad News Bears
BASED ON The 1976 movie
REFRESHED BY Making the antics of Billy Bob
Thornton even more outrageous than Walter Matthau’s
were
REPEAT PERFORMANCE Thornton tried out for the
Kansas City Royals, but a pitch broke his collarbone
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
The Pink Panther
BASED ON The six Peter Sellers movies
REFRESHED BY Gussying it up as a prequel like this
summer’s Star Wars or Batman installments
A FALL MOVIE Steve Martin, who co-wrote goes heavy
on the physical comedy
Once More, With Feeling
Time Magazine Article
The Honeymooners
BASED ON The 1955-56 TV series
REFRESHED BY Changing the race of the two couples
A FALL MOVIE Wife-beating gags. Ralph (Cedric the
Entertainer) no longer threatens to send Alice
(Gabrielle Union) “to the moon”
The Boys Next Door
by Bob Stahley
Films Humorlessness loses play’s charms
Playgoers will be disappointed with this surprisingly
humorless film version. The visit by next-door neighbor Mrs.
Warren is played for laughs on stage but here the humor of
the situation is emphasized in favor of stressing barriors:
Arnold’s exploited, Barry’s abused, Norman and Shiela can’t
express affection, Lucian can’t express anything.
The Boys Next Door
by Bob Stahley
The only positive outcome is grafted onto the story Hollywood-style.
That the film focuses more on Jack’s marriage than on “The Boys”
betrays a discomfort with the humor of the original.
Barry is portrayed far more menacing than on the stage. The darker
aspects are unceasingly emphasized.
The two most effective scenes of the original are undercut by
preceding them with Jack’s face in close-up to say, “this
The Boys Next Door
by Bob Stahley
is how Jack sees them,” not “this is how they really are!” They shine only in
Jack’s eyes, not ours.
Most heartbreaking was the portrayals of Norman and Shiela. Nathan Lane
plays Norman as Lou Costello and Mare Winningham plays Sheila as sullen and
aloof. The most joyful scene in the entire show is played in the film as another
excuse to show how incomplete they are. In the play they’re shown as two
people deeply in love. In the film, all we see is what they’re not.
In the play, we see their limitations, but we also share their joys. The film
version in contrast is a sad story about sad people. I felt sad for
The Boys Next Door
by Bob Stahley
film Norman, but I love stage Norman. You’ll love “The Boys Next Door” only if you
experience it on stage.