1. With a highlighter, highlight your detail(s)--quote(s)-- from the assigned chunk; you will probably have two of them in your chunk since your chunk is about juxtaposition.
2. With a different color highlighter, highlight your elaboration. Elaboration is factual information about the passage that gives context to your quote. Elaboration should help the reader understand what the quote is literally referring to in the passage.
3. With a third color, highlight your commentary. Commentary is opinion-based. Commentary should discuss how/why the writer’s language (elements like diction, details, simile, metaphor) and/or syntax (devices like parallelism, asyndeton, polysyndeton, repetition, epanalepsis, antithesis) are effective in proving the topic sentence.
*If you do not have three different colored highlighters, improvise something that will make each of these three things distinct.
Transcribe your results from the highlighting into the chart below:
Detail--quote(s) only
Elaboration
Commentary

Answer the following questions
1. Do you see any holes in your chart? In other words, are there any boxes where there’s just not enough?
2. Based on what you have done so far, what do you think, specifically, that you need to do to improve this chunk?
Check your passage for technical mechanical issues.
● Punctuate quotes correctly by putting line number or page number after quote in parentheses and punctuation after the parentheses. Example:
○ Paton concludes, “Destroy it and man is destroyed” (33).
● Eliminate personal pronouns (you, I, etc.)
● Refer to author by last name.

Elaboration advice
Elaboration is like the oldschool board game “Clue” (Col Mustard in the Conservatory with the
Lead Pipe). It may do any or all of the following: identify the speaker; identify what the quote refers to; identify important events or elements preceding the quote; spell out the circumstances surrounding the quote.
If you’re having trouble embedding quotes in elaboration, start your elaboration with a subordinating conjunction from the list below; using one of these conjunctions will help place your quote after although as as soon as because before by the time even if even though every time if in case in the event that just in case now that once only if since since the first time though unless until when whenever whereas whether or not while while
Commentary Advice
Commentary is the hardest part. Trying to think about what the language/syntax implies and why it is effective requires a good degree of abstract thought.
To add depth to your commentary the following steps are highly recommended:
1. Use a MARKER VERB from the list your teacher gave you long ago. Your teacher cannot stress enough how strong verbs improve your writing. Move beyond the verb “shows.”
2. Complete the FLOW CHART for the device or devices in your quote. There are electronic copies of these flow charts on Mrs. Carroll’s website in the Rubrics/Writing Resources page.
You can print what you need; you can use the packet of charts we gave you, or you can recreate it on a piece of paper.
3. Use the sentence starters provided on the worksheet “Writing an Analytical Nugget.” We did this way back when after reading “The Confrontation.” Note, if you are getting 6’s and 7’s on your writing, this formula may be constraining, and unless you find it helpful, I wouldn’t use it. If you have have not scored above a 5 on a major writing this year, I recommend using the analytical nugget worksheet as a resource. (This document is also on Mrs. Carroll’s website in the Rubrics/Writing Resources page)

Chapter 1 Quotes:
Quote
“grass-covered and rolling”
Suggestions
“the road climbs seven miles”
“rich and matted”
“It holds the rain and the mist, and they seep into the ground, feeding the streams in every kloof.” green imagery (imagery chart)--why is green positive diction flow chart “rolling” personification/diction focus on word climb--diction flowchart diction chart for “rich” consider texture implications for “matted” (diction flow chart may help with “matted” too) diction chart for each “holds,” “seeps,” “feeding”
Consider personification aspect of “feeding”
Consider contrasting this quote to rain in the last paragra ph. “Lightning flashes, clouds pour down” etc. Hint: the second scenario describes flashflooding which means even with great rain, all the water just washes away quickly; it doesn’t stay; the desolate land cannot hold it.
detail flow chart for cattle and for fires anaphora chart for “not too many”
“It is well-tended, and not too many cattle feed upon it; not too many fires burn it”
“Stand unshod upon it”
“for the ground is holy, being even as it came from the Creator” consider texture; consider the relationship this command implies diction chart “holy” consider reference to God and that He is named
Creator, not God. Implications?
“Keep it, guard it, care for it, for it keeps men, guards men, cares for men.”
Asyndeton chart
Parallelism (you don’t have a chart); consider that parallelism is similarity of structure. Parallelism often tries to emphasize a similarity or contend that two things are related/similar. What’s the similarity here?
“Destroy it and man is Destroyed.”
“But the rich green hills break down”
Ep analepsis (you don’t have a chart for this); you may try using the anaphora chart because it involves a repeated word.
The repeated word occurs at the beginning and end of the sentence. Why might that be significant? Hint: sometimes epanalepsis relates to an idea that has come full circle.
diction chart “rich” diction chart “green” diction chart “break down” (consider literal and figurative meaning of quote)
“They fall to the valley below, and falling, change their n ature”
“red and bare” diction chart “fall/falling”
Consider using this quote to contrast “climb” from earlier diction chart “red” diction chart “bare”
Goes well with “rich and matted”

“they cannot hold the rain and mist, and the streams are dry in the
“Too many cattle feed upon the grass, and too many fires have burned it.”
“Stand shop upon it.”
“coarse and “sharp” kloofs” diction chart “hold” then implications of it not being able to hold
If you’re pairing this with “It holds the rain…,” a stronger contrast to that positive quote might be the part about the flash-flooding in the last paragraph
Details chart for “cattle” and “fire.”
Anaphora for “Too many”
Parallelism (you don’t have a chart); consider that parallelism is similarity of structure. Parallelism often tries to emphasize a similarity or contend that two things are related/similar. What’s the similarity here?
consider texture; consider the relationship this command implies diction chart “coarse” diction chart “sharp”
Pairs well with “rich and matted”
“It is not kept, or guarded, or cared for, it no longer keeps men, guards men, cares for men.”
“the earth has torn away like flesh”
“the dead streams come to life, full of the red blood of the earth”
Polysyndeton chart for first part of sentence for repetition of conjunction “or”
Asyndeton chart for second half of sentence
Parallelism (you don’t have a chart); consider that parallelism is similarity of structure. Parallelism often tries to emphasize a similarity or contend that two things are related/similar. What’s the similarity here?
simile chart really consider that the simile is not just to “flesh,” but “torn flesh,” in other words, a gaping wound
If you are pairing this quote with “holy,” etc., consider holy associations with spirit vs. very worldly, vulnerable flesh
First part of quote-”dead,” sure that’s bad, but then they “come to life,” a phrase which sounds good out of context. Think, though, isn’t it generally bad when dead things “come back to life” (reanimated)? Think about it.
Second part of quote metaphor chart (streams
=red blood)