7262 S Towncrest Dr.
Salt Lake City, UT 84121
May 1, 2011
Ms. Jennifer Courtney
AD 245 Redwood Campus
Salt Lake City, UT 84101
Dear Ms. Courtney:
One of the first pieces that we worked on this semester was the rhetorical analysis of our community partner’s website. I have made many revisions to this document throughout the course of the semester. I stated in my analysis that the ESL lab’s website does not do a good job of appealing to its intended readership—specifically to potential ESL students. I supported this claim further by citing the community project presented this week by a group of students in our class. They created an improved website for the ESL lab in which five different languages were available! I thought that this was a very creative—and needed—innovation that would greatly enhance the website’s credibility and usability. Another area of this piece that you recommended I give attention to was near the end where I had used the same phraseology several times in a row (“Because….”). I restructured these sentences so as to eliminate the repetitive and boring nature of my writing. I feel that this document is a good example of how my ability to provide clear, supporting evidence for my thesis has improved. This document also shows my ability to use and cite relevant research.
Rhetorical make up of this piece: The rhetorical analysis of the ESL lab’s website is intended primarily for Lydia and any others involved in its maintenance. As I made the analysis I tried to put myself in the position of an ESL student. By doing this I was able to identify specific areas which I felt could be improved to make the website a more effective rhetorical document. By identifying several specific areas of the document and providing recommendations I hope that it is rhetorically appealing to the reader (Lydia).
I think that the piece that I was ultimately the most happy with this semester was the news story.
Although I struggled with this assignment as I tried to create a captivating story, in the end I felt that it really came together well. As I mentioned to you in our one-on-one interview a few weeks ago, part of the reason that I struggled with this piece was because I was trying to force information into the story that really didn’t belong. I think that my ability to overcome this obstacle demonstrates both my increasing rhetorical awareness and my ability to adapt to a specific genre (two of the course outcomes). In addition to the editing that I had already done on this piece, I felt that reformatting it into a two column, newspaper type format would increase its

effectiveness as a piece of writing and demonstrate my ability to “adapt [its] style and design for a given writing situation” (course outcomes).
Rhetorical make up of this piece: This news story is intended to run in SLCC’s campus newspaper. The references made within the article would be understood by the readers (campus locations, abbreviation of the school’s name—SLCC—etc.). I chose to write this article after sitting with Ms. Gonzales in an interview and hearing her personal story which was quite inspiring. It struck me as the type of story that would run in a newspaper as a public-interest type article. If people can relate—or at least find interest in—the happenings of the school, I felt that I could draw on the reader’s interest and thus make it a rhetorically appealing document.
One of my writing pieces that you felt could use some work was my editorial. When we met, you pointed out some specific areas of concern where wordiness led to confusing, ineffective writing.
In an effort to resolve this I revised this document again, trying to simplify some of the sentences—particularly an area near the end that was exceptionally wordy and confusing. I was cautious not to ‘simplify’ too many of my sentences as you had warned me against it. As I understand it, having a variety of sentence types enhances the readability of the document. I hoped to clarify any confusing passages while maintaining the reader’s interest. I also felt to reformat this piece into a newspaper-type look so as to follow the guidelines outlined in the writing assignment. I feel like this document helps demonstrate the course outcome which expresses the expectation that we be able to “conceive, draft, and revise many kinds of documents, and manage these processes independently.” This piece also provides an example of my ability to “adapt strategies of argumentation” as stated in the course outcomes.
Rhetorical make up of this piece: This editorial is designed to run in newspapers anywhere in the country where the immigration debate rages or where high numbers of immigrants are found.
Because of the widespread controversy surrounding the immigration debate, this editorial would be relevant in most any area of the country. The purpose of the piece is to hopefully persuade the reader to at least consider the point of view that the debate over immigration is much more complex than simply deporting all current immigrant residents of the US. There are other issues of importance such as the ESL programs which exist and have proven to be successful. Perhaps
ESL programs prove to be part of the bigger solution to the immigration controversy. I hoped to make this document rhetorically appealing by including several situations that most people are familiar with and can relate to. For example, I refer to the fact that some people feel that immigrants use of our resources but give nothing in return. Because most people are familiar
(and perhaps even agree) with this argument, I think it can be effective in drawing them into the editorial’s message.
The last piece that I chose to include in my final portfolio was the community writing project that we just recently presented in class. I chose to replace the service learning ‘research and

reflection’ writing assignment because I feel that our community writing project demonstrated well two of the course outcomes: (1) to “understand and respond critically to a civic conversation and become a legitimate participant in that conversation” and (2) to “work collaboratively on writing tasks with other writers.” Being able to collaborate with a community partner directly while creating this assignment was a different experience in that we were receiving feedback from a third party (in this case the Coalition of Religious Communities). The CORC provided a perspective to the writing because of its wealth of experience that we never could have generated on our own. I feel that Brett and I worked well together because we had different strengths—
Brett had a very good understanding of the complexities of the tax system and I was able to put them onto paper in a readable way. Working conjunction with CORC also made the editing process different. After creating a few drafts of our proposal, we sent in along to Linda at CORC.
She gave us specific feedback that allowed us to correct issues with the proposal itself that made it more realistic. As we explained in the introductory letter to our community writing project, we chose specific research that we felt would provide our document with credibility. This showed our ability to tailor our research to the specific rhetorical outcome that we desired (course outcomes).
Rhetorical make up of this piece: This piece is intended for lawmakers in the State of Utah.
More specifically, the proposal is intended for a select group of legislators who we would approach and ask to sponsor a bill eliminating the food tax in Utah. Because of the complexities of the tax system and the legislative process, it was challenging to determine exactly what should be proposed and how to propose it. Law creation is a negotiation. By presenting this proposal, we would hope to get the ball rolling on the issue. The exact result, however, could not be predicted as the drafting of legislation is, as I understand it, generally done by committee which means many varying view points and different interests at stake. Including so much relevant government-related research should make this document rhetorically credible to lawmakers.
Thank you for a great semester!
Sincerely,
Spencer McConkie

McConkie 1
Writing Project #1--Rhetorical Analysis
A Website With Potential
I remember as though it were yesterday the first night I spent in Durango, Mexico. I lay in bed listening, involuntarily, to the insufferable buzzing of the mosquitoes above my head and feeling the oven-like heat which was uncomfortable and inescapable. I lived for several months in that rented house with three native Spanish speakers who knew virtually no English. For the next several months I would rely heavily on them and others who surrounded me to teach me
(with great patience!) how to understand and speak their native tongue. As a result of this experience, I have gained great compassion for people who struggle to learn a foreign language.
In large part because of my own experience learning a second language, I chose to create a community partner relationship this semester with the ESL Lab (English as a Second
Language) on SLCC’s Redwood campus. Although the ESL Lab’s website provides some useful and credible information for prospective tutors and students, it lacks details, design features, and content that would make it more rhetorically effective.
Perhaps the greatest strength of the ESL Lab’s website is the fact that it is integrated as part of a SLCC’s main webpage; the same color schemes, fonts, and overall formatting that the college uses are also used on the ESL Lab’s webpage. Because SLCC is a long-standing and respected institution in the community, most readers will therefore immediately deem the ESL
Lab credible.
The large numbers of similar types of organizations all across the country, which teach
English as a second language, also lend credibility to SLCC’s ELS Lab. In general, and especially in academic circles, people are familiar with ESL programs and would therefore likely have little doubt as to its intentions and integrity as an organization. In her research, Ph. D. Char

McConkie 2
Ullman, an educational anthropologist and assistant professor at the Universtiy of Texas at El
Paso, cites US Department of Education statistics which show that “ESL instruction continues to be the fastest-growing sector of adult basic education” (Ullman 4). This being the case, one would be surprised if he or she were not to find ESL resources on a university or college campus.
Credibility being the website’s strength, its rhetoric appeal to one’s emotion is among its weaknesses. The writer of the document appears to be the organization as a whole; the content of the website is mostly informational and is intended primarily for service-learning students (and other volunteers) whose service may, at least in part, be an obligation as part of a servicelearning class. Though many inspirational stories from reflection papers and experiences had by past tutors could have been used as quotes on the website to draw emotional appeal to the ESL
Lab’s noble purpose, none were. I feel that adding these types of experiences to the document could have added a lot of strength to the message and would have created a tone of accomplishment. From my experience, most people who engage in service do it because it is a reciprocal experience—they receive personal satisfaction or fulfillment while contributing positively to the mission of the organization in which they serve.
With so many English-language teaching organizations in existence, there is bound to be some research which has tracked the effectiveness of ESL programs. Including some of this information on the website could strengthen its emotional appeal and credibility with readers by showing how their service contributions will lead to verifiable results.
The website’s lack of design creativity may prevent the ESL Lab from connecting with some of its intended readership. There is only one simple link on the website (shown at right)

McConkie 3 at the very bottom of the screen (“Click here if you are a Service-Learning Student”); this very bland-looking link takes the reader to the site’s only linked page. This page contains a laundrylike list of expectations of tutors and some other generic information. The two photographs which are on the main page appear to be taken at random times and don’t do much to draw the reader in or develop a sense of belonging. In an overall way, the page seems to lack a sense of freshness, which its intended audience (mostly college age students) is accustomed to in today’s age of cyber glitz and speed.
Another weakness of this website is that there is no real information for potential ESL students. This glaring information deficit is surprising when you consider that the overwhelming majority of the site’s visitors will either be current or potential ESL students and current or potential tutors. To the right you can see a snap shot of the entirety of information contained on the website intended for ESL students. The
ESL Lab’s website would be a great source of information for potential students but does not contain so much as even one link for such students. A great deal of information could be provided to prospective students here, including additional details regarding the format and type of tutoring help that is available. One group of students in my English class this semester presented in their community writing project a proposal for an improved website. Their fresher, more up-to-date looking site had links for 5 different languages—obviously this would be extremely useful for non-English proficient students. By providing pertinent information to students, the likelihood of them using the ESL website as a resource would increase because their need would be better attended to.

McConkie 4
Another oversight worth noting is the website’s failure to present an inviting forum for volunteers who are not associated with a service-learning class. As discussed above, the only link on the webpage is designed for service-learning student volunteers. One need not be enrolled in a service learning class in order to be a volunteer tutor in the ESL Lab, but the way the information is presented on its website may dissuade other well-intended volunteers from becoming involved if they mistakenly are led to believe that only service learning students are accepted as volunteers in the lab.
The document contains some grammatical weaknesses that may indicate to the reader that the ESL Lab is not a well organized group. The mission statement itself, located in a prominent position in the upper right hand corner of the website’s main page (see screenshot to right) reads as follows: “The ESL lab helps students develop their English Language skills to succeed at school and future employment after graduation from Salt Lake Community College.” Though a noble mission statement, it is somewhat repetitive in the sense that one would assume that future employment would come after graduation. Other examples of minor grammatical inconsistencies are present which do not distract heavily from the message but one would not expect to find on an organization’s main website. Those most likely to read this document are students (many in an English or writing course), so these grammatical errors are more likely to be noted.
The fundamental purpose of the ESL Lab’s webpage is to provide volunteers with a basic understanding of what their responsibilities will be as a tutor. Being that tutors are central to this

McConkie 5 organization’s ability to be successful, the ESL Lab should employ more creative means on its website to actively encourage and draw students in to participate in the ESL tutoring program.
Because the website is largely informational only and due to its lack of rhetorical appeal, I do not feel that this website successfully accomplishes this.

McConkie 6
Works Cited
Ullman, Char. "The Connections among Immigration, Nation Building, and Adult Education
English as a Second Language Instruction in the United States." Adult Learning . 21.
(2010): 4. Print.

Writing Project #2—Public News Story
SLCC’s ESL Lab Continues to Expand
Lidya Gonzales beams with pride as she talks about the upcoming expansion of Salt Lake
Community College’s ESL (English as a Second
Language) lab.
Gonzales, the soft spoken, entrepreneurial-minded director of SLCC’s ESL
Lab has been around since the very beginning; nine years ago her lab had only two small tables and six chairs. Now a bustling center of ESL tutoring, Gonzales is hoping to expand its services to SLCC’s Jordan campus as soon as possible—a move that would triple the number of tutoring centers over the course of just a few years (an ESL lab opened at SLCC’s South City campus just last fall).
In a recent sit-down interview with Mrs.
Gonzalez, she spoke of the increasing need for
English tutoring for SLCC students. A KSL 5 evening news cast from February of this year confirms Mrs. Gonzalez’s assessment. It reported that according to the 2010 US Census report, Hispanics now comprise 13 percent of
Utah’s population, an astounding 70 percent increase over the last decade. Had other ESL groups’ populations grown at even a fraction of this rate, it is probable that the need for tutoring has increased substantially over the last ten years.
But in a depressed economy, how can a growing demand for ESL tutoring be met— especially when governments and schools all across the country are trimming their budgets to make ends meet?
Gonzalez concedes that recent funding cutbacks have caused her to reduce the number of paid tutors on staff. She also says that each year she has to wait and see whether or not the legislature will renew funding for programs such as hers.
Fortunately for Mrs. Gonzalez and others in situations similar to hers, there is reason to remain hopeful.
In a recent Salt Lake Tribune article entitled Mr. SLCC Goes to Washington , Brian
Maffly reports on the budget woes faced by
SLCC and other community colleges as state budgets have tightened. He also details the efforts of a Mr. Mason Bishop, former deputy assistant secretary in the U.S. Department of
Labor during the Bush administration, who has been sent to Washington D.C. to lobby for money on behalf of SLCC. This is good news for Mrs. Gonzalez and others who oversee similar learning resource programs at countless community colleges across the country. Acting as a ‘special assistant to the president’ [of
SLCC], Mr. Bishop has found success in his endeavors and had secured $15 million last year alone on behalf of SLCC as of the article’s printing on November 25, 2010.
Sitting at her desk, Mrs. Gonzalez’s passion for her work is evident as she continues to speak of the miracles which occur in her lab frequently. Though duly acknowledged, she speaks little of the possibility that for lack of funding her lab may one day have to close its doors. Rather, she speaks of the reflection papers written by volunteer tutors whose lives were enhanced by their service in the ESL lab. She also reflects on the students whose lives were forever made better and who may never have made it through school had it not been for the assistance they received in the ESL lab.
With plenty to worry about, Lidya
Gonzales continues onward, optimistic that good things will happen as she continues to work hard.

Equity In Education
Writing Project #3—Public Editorial
Among the opening lines of the
Declaration of Independence of The United
States of America are these timeless words:
“…all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are
Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
It’s ironic that in a nation founded upon the principles of justice and equity, so many people struggle in their pursuit to obtain an equitable education. Having been a ‘melting pot’ from the very beginning,
America has traditionally been a land of opportunity for all people—regardless of their language of origin. Successful English as a Second Language (ESL) programs have been used for decades in schools across the country, but in recent years some question the validity of spending tax payer dollars on extensive language immersion programs in public schools.
While it is legitimate to question the duration of such programs, the notion of shortening them or eliminating them altogether is quite simply un-American. The very writers of our Declaration of
Independence and Constitution, if not immigrants themselves, were the children of foreign born immigrants. The founding fathers are a paragon example of why foreign blood is needed to perpetuate the
American dream—that is, if we still believe the American dream worth pursuing. If we refuse to help educate these immigrants, how will they then be able to contribute to our society in a positive way?
Regardless of your political position on the immigration debate, the reality of the current situation is that there are millions of foreign-speaking immigrants living in the
US right now! A recent study conducted by the PEW Hispanic Center revealed that nearly 7 percent of all children enrolled in public schools (kindergarten through grade
12) are children of immigrants. Many, if not most, of these children are probably not fluent English speakers (certainly many of their parents aren’t). Severing ESL programs completely in public schools not only greatly reduces the likelihood of these children ever becoming successful, contributing members of our culture and society, but it is also a contradiction to the founding principles of our country.
There is an ill-conceived notion that
ESL programs actually hinder a foreignspeaking student’s English proficiency progression. Akiyo, of Japanese birth, spent several years in ESL programs as a child and argues that the opposite is true—ESL programs put students in a more comfortable learning environment which accelerates their learning, not inhibits it. On Akiyo’s well written and very articulate blog—written in near perfect English—she documents her enthusiasm to vote for the first time in the
2008 elections, just months after becoming an American citizen.

While it may be reasonable to expect foreign speaking immigrants assimilating into American culture to learn English, expecting them to master the intricacies and difficulties of our language over night is not.
Anybody who has ever taken an English 101 class knows that it is a difficult language to learn—tell me again why we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway ? Try this one out: “I before E except after C or when sounded like A as in neighbor or weigh.”
Case closed.
In February of this year, KSL 5
News in Utah reported that 2010 census numbers show a staggering 78 percent increase in the Hispanic makeup of Utah’s population over the last decade. These people are already here; it not only makes sense to provide ESL programs to the children, but the earlier the learning begins, the easier it will be and the sooner they will be English proficient. Most would readily acknowledge that learning for a child comes much more naturally and easily.
Although it is true that ESL programs will cost taxpayers up front, this cost can be viewed as an investment in our future. It is a widely accepted practice for students of higher education to receive government assistance to help their family stay afloat while finishing their education.
Once they graduate from a professional school, these people enter the workforce as doctors and lawyers, etc. and become financially contributing members of society.
We can invest in our future by providing foreign-speaking immigrants to the US with the opportunity to learn English and therefore become contributing members of society.
Is the American dream dead?
It is imperative that we not confuse the current immigration debate with the need for ESL programs. The raging debate over illegal immigration is a legitimate problem requiring real answers. That issue, however real it may be will require an immense amount of time and almost unheard of political collaboration to solve. The reality is that millions of foreign-born citizens currently reside in the United States and it is in the best interest of all Americans that these people are fluent English speakers.
Denying them of this advantage not only inhibits their progression but that of our own community as well.
Some are of the opinion that immigrants to the United States receive the financial and social benefit of living here without contributing taxes into the American system. In some instances this is undeniably true, but most Americans acquainted with immigrants will testify to the strong moral character and work ethic of these people.
Furthermore, the potential financial contribution of a people relegated to poverty is negligible, if not suppressive. On the other hand, however, imagine the massive

financial potential contributions of a well educated immigrant class.
An article that ran in the Seattle
Times in the late 90’s showed the correlation between how well foreign-born
Americans speak English and their income level. It stressed the particular importance in this new age of technology of not just speaking English but of reading and writing it as well. Reading and writing English well may be the difference between poverty and being able to support one’s family and pay taxes.
Since the time that we (The United
States of America) declared our independence from the oppressive rule of a nation intent on keeping us in servitude,
American’s have understood how precious freedom is. If we are to stand on the shoulders of our forefathers, it is therefore our responsibility to perpetuate the generous gift of education with all our fellowmen.

Community Writing Project
At 85, Orpha Marble of American Fork, Utah lives alone in a small duplex. Orpha lives on just under $800 a month in social security benefits, and she is proud of the fact that she does not rely on any government assistance for her needs. She spends a very modest $30 a week on food—about 15% of her total income. To some, a 3% food tax may not seem like much, but to Orpha and many others in similar situations, it means going without necessities like medication.
As currently constituted, Utah’s regressive tax on food places a disproportionate burden on lowincome families. Because food is a human necessity, poverty stricken families pay a much higher fraction of their income on this essential commodity. Financial strain is not the only consequence of high food prices for low-income families. Studies show that families who struggle financially are more likely to purchase ‘cheap calories’—a food source most often high in caloric content but low in nutritional value.
Long-term, unhealthy eating habits will negatively impact society in many ways.
Utah’s taxation of food is in direct opposition to the principles of the flat and fair tax philosophies which are widely supported by members of this legislative body. In Utah a financially strained family with an annual income of $20,000 will pay more than 1.0% of its meager earnings on food taxes. A family making $60,000 pays less than half as much (0.4%) of its annual income on food taxes (U.S. Census Bureau). Currently almost 10% of Utah households live below the poverty line, the equivalent of a family of four making an annual household income of a mere 22,490 (The Henry J Kaiser
Family Foundation).
Several studies have linked low income to poor nutrition. When strapped with an inadequate food budget, families seek ‘cheap calories’ to fill their nutritional needs—turning to high calorie food with low nutritional value. Children who are poorly nourished are a greater financial and emotional burden to society. Their education suffers, they are more likely to be obese and suffer from medical problems and there is an increased likelihood of ADD and other learning disabilities (Martin and
Gowburn) (Gardner and Halweii). Is a higher food tax really worth these dire consequences?
Admittedly, the elimination of the food tax is not a popular idea with everyone in the state.
Many are convinced that a tax on food is fair because it taxes a broad base and is voluntarily controlled by peoples’ spending choices (Martin and Gowburn). Our research finds this to be untrue. The tax base is necessarily broad because food is a commodity that must be purchased in order to live—it would be impossible for a family to cut food entirely from their budget! Therefore, low-income families are inequitably targeted based on their financial situation.

Eliminating the food tax will require a restructuring of Utah’s tax system. Currently the food tax is composed of three parts as shown below:
State portion: 1.75%
Local Governments 1.00%
County Governments 0.25%
Total: 3.00%
We propose that Utah’s 3.0% food tax be abolished and recommend as a revenue replacement a 0.15% increase of the general sales tax. A sales tax increase on non-essential goods would be a fairer way to generate the much needed tax revenue and would produce the same essential revenues currently collected.
State Portion
Local Governments
0.087%
0.05%
County Governments 0.0125%
Total: 0.15%
This solution will lessen the regressive tax burden on low-income families. Other benefits include the fact that it will not be subject to inflation and deflation and will also increase the tax revenue potential far beyond that of a sales tax on food alone (Utah State Tax Commision) (Utah State Legislature).
For people like Orpha Marble, who literally count their pennies in order to make ends meet, the elimination of Utah’s food tax is a reasonable way to lighten the burden placed on the hard working, low-income families of Utah.