Leads, Misleads
and (Un)happy Endings
An editor’s perspective
Leads
Unlike the Media Writing class, we aren’t so much
concerned here with writing leads as judging them,
evaluating them as to appropriateness of tone and
content. Since the seed of an idea for a headline
often comes from the lead of a story, the need for
an effective lead is vital. Generally, if you have
problem with a lead, you would have to take your
concerns to the writer or the writer’s editor. But in this
class, you are both copy editor and assignments editor, so
rewrite all you want.
Leads
Editing leads is a balancing act. You
have to balance the six main
elements of a news lead (the old 5
W’s and an H) for one thing – not all
should go there.
You also have to balance the desire
of the reader for clear and concise
information with the reporter’s right to
tell the story in a distinct and personal
style. Interacting with the reporting
staff can help navigate these waters.
Leads
Keep in mind that you are the reader’s advocate … you
have your hand on the information gate. You decide: What
is the news here? What do my readers want to know? But
you have to balance that with the need to maintain the
writer’s creativity and personal style. In a way, you are
serving two masters, although the reader should always
have the trump card.
Editors also have to be aware that what the news was in
the morning, when the story broke, may not be the new or
may be old news by the evening. Like headlines, ledes may
have to be adapted.
Leads: What are they?
The lead is a brief, compelling summary of what the story is
about. Note the “compelling” part -- it can be interesting or
important or both. It is often called the nut graph, the
sentence that sums up the story in a nutshell.
In news summary stories, the lead/nut graph nearly always the first
paragraph -- this is likely the root of most headline ideas. But beware
that you can’t always depend on that first graph for your headline –
stories that use “attention getter” devices as a set-up will have the
actual nut graph placed several paragraphs into the text. Remember
that headline from Day 1 that had the wrong score?
It is up to the editor to ensure that the lead contains the proper news
values, based on the traditional elements of timeliness, proximity,
prominence, relevance, novelty, human interest and conflict.
Leads: Two main types
 News summary: A direct, straightforward approach that
distills out the most important or interesting elements of
the story into a few words. It is often one sentence, two
at most, and includes a combination of the five W’s and
H. In news summary stories, the lead/nut graph nearly
always the first paragraph -- this is likely the root of most
headline ideas. Nearly all news summary leads contain a
time element reference. For editors, datelines and wire
credits are critical elements that need to be checked for
accuracy as well.
Leads: Two main types
 Delayed lead: An indirect approach that utilizes a variety
of creative devices that place the nut graph deeper into
the story. Perhaps an anecdote is used to take the
reader from a specific example / incident to the more
general content of the story. Anecdotal leads, often seen
in national publications like Readers Digest and Parade
magazine, and are used to personalize a story, to give it
a human face.
The point where a story shifts gears from the anecdote -or whatever device is being used -- is called “the turn.” It
could be the nut graph, or the nut graph could follow
shortly afterward. BE CAREFUL: The turn can be a
delicate joint. If not carried out properly, you derail the
reader’s train of thought.
Leads: A news summary lead example
Associated Press
TUXTLA GUTIERREZ, Mexico — Mexican police said
Saturday that they had broken up a vote-buying scheme
in Chiapas on the eve of state elections, which will be
closely watched in a country already straining under the
turmoil of a disputed presidential election.
Four people were arrested on charges of …
(hedline than ran: 4 leftist supporters accused of
swapping supplies for votes .... )
Note that the headline has typical subject verb object
construction.
Leads: A delayed lead example
Associated Press
CHARDON, Ohio — Though only a 6-pound Chihuahua-rat
terrier mix who looks like she belongs in Paris Hilton's purse,
Midge has the will, skill and nose of a 100-pound German
shepherd.
The newest recruit for the Geauga County Sheriff’s Department's
K-9 unit could very well be the nation's smallest drug-sniffing
pooch. (Here is the nut graph -- what the story is about)
Hed: Tiny drug-sniffing pooch may take nip out of crime
Deck: Sheriff training Chihuahua-terrier mix to conduct
narcotics searches like the big dogs ...
Notice wordplay with "nip” and "like the big dogs”
A really delayed lead
Houston Chronicle
Along with pencil and three-ring-binder purchases, many students now include
stops at Web sites such as ratemyteachers.com on their back-to-school lists.
"I kind of just wanted to know what I would be up against," explained Angela
Brown, 17, who for the past two years has scanned student reviews of teachers
she'll face in the classroom when school begins.
Brown said most of her Clear Creek High School classmates rate and check
ratings on their teachers at the Web site. Across the lake from her, at rival school
Clear Lake, the site is even more popular: That school ranks among the most rated
in the country at the student-review site.
Students at these schools, however, are not the only ones logging in to opine
on English instructors, school principals and PE coaches. (the turn)
The boom of anonymous school rating sites, ballooning to 9 million posts at that
site alone last spring, is a trend some consider democratic and others call divisive.
(nut graf)
Hed: On Web, students do the grading
Deck: Democratic or divisive? Views vary on sites that rate teachers
The main hed entices the reader but doesn’t give the story away. The deck
hedline summarizes the nut graph.
Leads: What goes in there?
1. One of the first steps in deciding which elements
should be (or remain) in a lead or what approach you
allow the writer to use is to determine the tone of the
story. Is it offbeat or humorous, like the Highway
Flasher or the parrot who ratted out the cheating
girlfriend? Is it neutral, like an advance on a city council
agenda or a highway closing story? Is it tragic, like the
Rick Bragg Oklahoma City lead or a story on a soldier’s
funeral?
Rule of thumb: Don’t invite a clown to a funeral unless it’s
the clown’s funeral. (Look ma, no thumbs lead)
Leads: What goes in there?
2. After judging the tone, determine if it’s a news summary
lead or a delayed lead. That will determine how the 5
W’s and the H are placed.
3. If there is a dateline city, make sure to check the dateline
list in the AP stylebook to see if a state on country
identifier is needed.
4. Now determine which of the 5 W’s and H are the most
necessary.
Leads: What goes in there
• Who: The celebrity/notoriety factor is a definite reader hook. Also,
the “who” is essential for attribution.
Immediate identification vs. delayed identification
-- In news summary leads, use names and titles only when the
subject is well-known. When the subject is not well known, use a
general title of some other identifier (“A Houston man was arrested
and charged today…”). These are called blind leads, and often the
identifier is hometown, age, gender or occupation of the subject.
(Jennifer Wilbanks example.) Make sure the identifier is appropriate
(“A black man was named principal of Cy Creek High School
today…” or “A Vietnam veteran was charged with fraud in the
growing Enron scandal.” The race of the person and being a
Vietnam vet had nothing to do with the subject at hand.)
-- In delayed leads, the rule limiting immediate identification is
relaxed; it’s common to use the names of lesser known folks in
anecdotal ledes, etc.
Leads: What goes in there
• What: The what -- as in what happened -- is often the
most critical element. In a sports story, the “what” is
often the score. The “what” can also reflect conflict.
• When: The time element is an absolute must for news
summary stories. Using “today” is OK, but AP prefers
you use the day of the week rather than “yesterday” and
“tomorrow.” Beware of online vs. print time differential.
• Where: Gives the reader a sense of place and provides
a level of significance. Could be an important headline
element.
• Why: It could be the most compelling element, but often
is unknown at the outset.
Leads: What goes in there
• How: Somewhat related to why, and it often speaks to
the process involved in what happened. Those “how”
details could be the most compelling element. How did
the Mets get Carlos Beltran and not the Astros? How did
that seat belt bill become law? How Karla Faye Tucker
and Clara Harris killed their significant others put those
stories on the front page.
Let’s add three more questions to the list for
lead consideration:
Leads: What goes in there
• What’s next: where the action goes from here could be
the most critical or interesting element. This element
takes on a greater emphasis in the age of the Internet.
We like to move the news forward. This morning’s
breaking news is stale by evening and downright moldy
for the next day’s editions.
• So what -- tell the readers why this matters to them, why
should they care. Give them some perspective. What’s
going on here besides what’s going on here?
• How many -- how many folks are affected or how many
times something has occurred may be the key element.
Also, how much -- as in big bucks can be important.
Multi-element leads
Sometimes you have a combination of two or more of these
elements; those elements might have equal value or be
necessary for clarity. Those kinds of leads can get bulky or
confusing; editors beware. Also, for headline purposes, you
may have to put one element in the main head (the what
perhaps) and the secondary element (the why or how) in a
deck headline.
Here are two leads with the “what” and “so what”
elements:
CenterPoint Energy approved a fuel cost adjustment on
Monday that will reduce residential gas bills, meaning
Houston residents will save about $8 a month.
The Chicago Cubs defeated the Milwaukee Brewers 5-4 in
11 innings Tuesday to clinch the National League Central
Division title.
Some other “stuff” for leads
• Datelines and wire credits: Helps you avoid clunking
up your lead with where something happened. Check the
dateline section of your AP stylebook on the style for
datelines and which cities stand alone. Datelines tell the
reader where the story originated; the writer was there.
Datelines often include the wire service identifier. At the
Chronicle, any story originating outside Harris County
gets a dateline. Be aware of exceptions to the stylebook
like Cleveland, Ohio, and Cleveland, Texas.
• Attribution: Often a key element, particularly in crime
stories or other stories with sensitive elements.
Unverifiable data, like death tolls, should be attributed.
• Quotes: As in heads, quotes can be an effective device.
Generally, partial quotes are preferred to full quotes -depending upon length, significance etc.
Alternative or delayed leads
Feature leads don’t follow the one-sentence, oneparagraph approach of hard news leads. They are more
like the openings of stories in books. They set the direction
and tone of your story. They can be a mini-story on to
themselves. They are more conversational, and
personal pronouns like “I” and “you” are found. They
sometimes use sentence fragments. Know what I mean?
There are more references to pop culture and feature
creative devices like alliteration or onomatopoeia or
homonyms or rhyme. If it’s well-written, anything goes.
Alternate or delayed leads
(See the Straight Leads and Alternative Lead handout)
• Question leads: OK, but allow them sparingly. Make sure
there is a compelling reason -- like conflict or suspense -- to
do so. Readers generally want answers not questions.
• Descriptive or color leads: Writer uses the power of
observation to put the reader at the scene or in the
situation.
• Ironic leads: There’s a twist or something unexpected
occurs.
• Anecdotal leads: Telling a little story that leads to the big
story.
• Teaser leads: Using a statement that makes little apparent
sense initially, forcing the reader to read further. (“Roy
Williams saw the receiver look him in the eye. That’s all he
needed to know.”) Teaser leads and ironic leads can create
suspense.
Editor decisions: How long should it be?
In general, the shorter the better. We are living in the age
of hand-held electronic devices – the lead may have to fit
on a tiny screen. In broadcast, all sentences limited to
around 20 words.
Some editors and others have tinkered with various
formulas for lead-writing. Experience -- and countless
reader surveys – indicate that leads should be no more
than 35 words. That is not an absolute, but it’s a good
guideline. But what about those anecdotal leads? It can
take several graphs to set up the nut graph. Just remember
that paragraphs in the print medium are generally 1 to 2
sentences max to avoid looking “too gray” in those narrow
columns.
Editor decisions: Common problem areas
• Overstatement: A lead that is not supported by the facts
in the story. Or, in an attempt to be clever, the lead goes
too far; it stretches or distorts the facts. (Hermann
Goering lede)
• Missing the news: A news summary lead that fails to
recognize the real news peg in a story. It’s a news story,
not a book report. Don’t say the city council met; what
did it do? Did you get the score right but miss the
significance of the game? Avoid say-nothing leads:
Somber and sad was the tone at the funerals for Texas’
tornado victims. So? What happened? Use description.
Funerals are always sad aren’t they?
Editor decisions: Common problem areas
• Cliches: Yuck and double yuck. Today’s Fourth of July
celebrations were hotter than a firecracker. Or this from
a New Year’s story: Rain failed to dampen the spirits of
Houston revelers as the city and the nation welcomed
1999. Changed to: Houstonians partied like it was 1999
on Thursday night -- because it was.
• Mass confusion: If you read a lead and then re-read it,
and again end up saying HUH? then there’s a problem.
HUH is not the desired response. Maybe it’s because of
a factual error, or a comparison that doesn’t work. If you
can’t write a headline off the lead, maybe the problem is
with the lead and not with you. (Housing, Clinton garden
leads)
Editor decisions: Common problem areas
• Excessive identification: Long and confusing identifiers
can make a lead clunky. That’s a technical term. You
can use general titles like “prosecutor” instead of “Harris
County Assistant District Attorney” or “state
environmental agency” instead of “Texas Commission
on Environment Quality.” Also, avoid using unfamiliar or
confusing names (use blind leads) of people and
agencies, etc.
• Too many numbers: The human mind doesn’t
assimilate numbers well; limit it to the score! Avoid using
too many stats:
HISD officials said 62 percent of all fifth-graders and 73
percent of all 11th-graders passed the TAKS test, a 5
percent increase over 2003 figures.
Editor decisions: Common problem areas
• Underattribution: Leads that have accusatory,
defamatory, criticism and other information requiring a
sensitive touch need attribution. It’s not you making the
accusation; it’s the police. “Who” is saying something
may give weight to the message -- it’s one thing to say
Democrats are criticizing Bush but another if it’s Clinton
or Carter or even Kerry. Attribution should be used for
sketchy information, like damage estimates or death
tolls. (The initial reports from the Columbine shootings
had 25 dead; actual toll was 16 including the 2 gunmen.)
• Anecdotal lead problems: see Newsthinking handout.
Does it get to the news fast enough? Does the anecdote
fit the point of the story? Is the anecdotal approach even
needed?
Some examples …
What’s wrong with this lead?
From the front-page of the Chronicle … (the spelling and facts are right)
Once billed as the hot-button issue for the 2008
presidential race, pollsters and pundits expect
illegal immigration to fade from the spotlight
heading into the November general election.
What’s wrong? Find the real issue
Dangling or misplaced modifiers … a definition
A modifier describes, clarifies, or gives more detail about a
concept. A dangling (or misplaced) modifier is a word or
phrase that modifies a word / phrase not clearly stated in
the sentence – or modifies an unintended word / phrase.
The lead should read:
Once billed as the hot-button issue for the 2008
presidential race, illegal immigration is expected by
pollsters and pundits to fade from the spotlight heading into
the November general election.
Any problems here?
This was a Page 1A story written by a sports staffer. Sometimes the writer has
to remember what section of the paper they are writing for.
CHRONICLE STAFF
The government has charged Astros shortstop Miguel Tejada with an error.
Tejada is scheduled to appear in Washington federal court today to face
charges of making "misrepresentations to Congress" when, in a 2005
interview with congressional staffers, he denied ever using steroids or
speaking to anybody about them.
FYI: The criminal offense of "contempt of Congress" sets the penalty at not
less than one month nor more than twelve months in jail and a fine of not less
than $100 nor more than $1,000.
(From 6 Questions about Anecdotal Leads) One basic test is: Does the
anecdote actually represent the greater truth of the story?
LAS VEGAS --This was the end of Martina Bauhaus' job interview for
one of the most sought-after positions in town:
She put on black velvet high-cut briefs and a tight, low-cut bustier.
When her name was called, she walked out of the fitting room to pose
in front of a mirror - and half a dozen silent, staring men who measured
her up like cattlemen at a livestock auction.
She didn't get the job. ''Maybe,'' said the slender 28-year-old, ''they
didn't like my body in their outfit.''
Know what the story's about yet? You'll have to keep reading.
Bauhaus, a law student with a master's degree in public
administration, wasn't seeking a job as a model, but as a cocktail
waitress at the new Suncoast Casino. Nobody asked her the difference
between a screwdriver and a rusty nail. She just had to have the right
look.
Indeed, despite the supposed ''Disneyfication'' of Las Vegas,
widespread unionization and the arrival of politically correct corporate
casino owners, the image of the sexy cocktail waitress remains as vital
here as a one-armed bandit.
Here comes the point:
But while young drink servers are still willing to don revealing outfits, there's
something of a rebellion afoot -- literally: growing discontent over the use of high
heels.
Led by a cocktail waitress named Kricket Martinez, members of an impromptu
labor organization dubbed the Kiss My Foot Coalition are campaigning against
shoes that they say can rack their bodies. After a rally in May, several casinos in
Reno agreed to allow lower heels, and the loose-knit group now hopes to …
It's not just that the story requires 168 words to get to the point (the 6th
graf). It's that most of those words (the first four grafs) don't lead you to
the point. The story is about discontent over the use of high heels, but
the anecdote doesn't contain a single reference to footwear. Thus, the
story virtually starts over at the 5th graf by building a contrast so that
the 6th graf will have something to bounce off.
Some critics of alternative ledes say this popular writing style often waits too
long to get to the news. Here’s an example (Editing alternative ledes handout)
that takes more than 145 words to get to the point of the story:
Eleanor Lago considers herself an intelligent, educated woman.
She's read the information provided her by the Grand Rapids Township Board.
She's talked to friends and neighbors. And she intends to vote Tuesday in a
special election that could determine the township's future.
''I just want to do what's best," says Lago.
Like many residents, though, she's not sure what that is.
An unusual battle is being fought in this smallest of Kent County townships, a
raggedy-shaped 16 square miles set cheek to jowl against the cities of
Grand Rapids, East Grand Rapids and Kentwood.
The battle is not about zoning, the more typical flash point of local politics. Nor
is it about leaf burning ordinances or other grass-roots laws in this suburb of
nearly 11,000 people.
This battle is about what the community can do to keep from being nibbled to
pieces by annexation. (nut graph found at last!)
The writer's intention was good: describing an intelligent voter who is
confused about an important issue. The introduction would have been more
effective, however, if cut in half. The writer could have eliminated some
description, cut the cliches and avoided saying what the election was not about.
Mis-leads: How to fix
As an editor, when you encounter problems with a lead -- if
you are having problems writing a headline on a story it
may not be you; it may be the lead -- rarely should you
attempt to correct the problem yourself. You are walking a
political tight rope. Either consult with the assigning editor
or the reporter, depending upon your relationship with
them. If necessary, appeal your case to a supervisory
editor. If you are right on deadline and don‘t have time for
consultation, and there’s an embarrassing error (God’s
name being misspelled) in the lead, by all means fix it. You
are the gatekeeper and last line of defense.
PR and broadcast leads
• The PR writer/editor has the same concerns as their
news counterpart, perhaps even to an elevated degree.
The lead on a news release can often determine its life
or death, whether it will be used or thrown away. It has to
have a lead worthy of the free publicity it is seeking.
Most news releases will follow the style and rules of new
leads -- often, the more like a news story the release
appears, the more chance it will be used. But veteran PR
writers can step away from the news summary approach
and used a delayed lead technique when warranted.
• The broadcast lead is much different; for one, it may be
a transition vehicle from an anchor to the reporter, or
from another story. Broadcast doesn’t focus so much on
the 5 W’s and H -- having visuals helps with that. Still,
the opening of a broadcast piece must have clarity and
fit the tone of the story.
PR lede that needs help
A news release from the Cameron County DA’s office.
What is the news here?
Brownsville, Texas – July 8, 2008 – The Cameron County
District Attorney’s Office announces today that prosecutors
Alfredo Padilla, Maria De Ford, and Joseph Krippel secured
a conviction after a week long jury trial.
After four hours of deliberation, the jury of the 138th
Judicial District Court found Melissa Elizabeth Lucio, 38, of
Harlingen, Texas guilty of capital murder for the death of
her 2 ½-year-old daughter, Mariah Alvarez.
Some bad leads / fixes
ORIGINAL:
City Councilman Joe Roach fell short of asking for the resignation of
Houston’s affirmative action director, who referred to him as a “midget”
at a national mayor’s conference.
CHANGED TO:
City Councilman Joe Roach on Wednesday criticized Houston’s
affirmative action director for referring to him as a “midget” at a national
mayor’s conference, but he did not ask for her resignation.
ORIGINAL:
Al Gore speaks his scripted Spanish haltingly, with an accent thicker
than Pepe Le Pew’s.
CHANGED TO:
Al Gore speaks his scripted Spanish haltingly, slathered with a thick
accent.
Some bad leads … that never ran
New York Daily News
WASHINGTON - The White House Friday brushed off
insinuations it stiffed Mark Foley by not inviting the gay
Republican to events with President Bush in Florida two
years ago.
New York Daily News
NEW YORK - Ladies, unhook your bras and your purse
strings -- silicone-gel breast implants are back.
Brunswick-Bath Times Record / Times-Standard
Except for a tragic accident, the 35th annual Bath
Heritage Days parade went off without a hitch.
Your turn: Find the problems here
 SUGAR LAND – Two Hispanic teen-age classmates of a
Sugar Land girl were arrested Thursday in her slaying
and will be tried on capital murder charges.
 DALLAS – John Turner, a former assistant business
editor at the Wall Street Journal, has been named sports
editor of the Dallas Morning News.
 SHREVEPORT, Texas (AP) – A 15-year-old elementary
school student has been suspended and booked for
bringing a handgun to class, authorities said.
Endings
Many writers feel a compulsion to provide a happy ending to a story.
For example: “The Cougars may have lost this game, but they will try to
get on the winning track again next week when they host the Owls.” Or:
“Susie Smith is living proof that dreams can come true.” Such endings
are great for children’s books but not for news stories / news releases.
Instead consider these options:
a.
b.
c.
Use a quote that encapsulates the nut graph or summarizes a key
point / section at the end of the story.
Use the “what’s next” element if there is one. When will the
council vote? Where does the legislation go next? Who will the
Astros play next? What is the next stage in the trial?
Just end it! If there is nothing else to say, just pull the plug on the
writer/reporter. It’s the inverted pyramid, stupid, we’re going to cut
from the end anyway. Use your least critical fact, and stop.
Leads exercise
• Edit / rewrite these leads for a grade.
• Due next class