MIAMI
UNIVERSITY
COME TO THIS PARADISE,
EVERYTHING A COLLEGE STUDENT
NEEDS
By, Alec Ahee
Why Should You Come To Miami?
• GREEK LIFE
• HOT GIRLS
• PREPPY GUYS
• BARS
• FRAT PARTIES
IF YOU CAN READ THIS,
WHO CARES?
FRAT
LIFE
• If your in a frat at Miami, it means one thing, you are not
a GDI. (GOD DAMN INDEPENDENT)
• If you want to be in a frat, here’s some advice….
1. Wear expensive clothes
2. Drink until tomorrow
3. Your priorities consist of, Brothers, sisters, the woods,
beat the clock
4. Memorize these phrases and you’ll be all set…
FRAT SO HARD
SORORITY GIRLSSSSSS
These are some of the hottest girls that you will ever see in
your life. We got an A for girls, in pretty much every college
handbook in the world….
• Wear LULU lemon yoga pants
• Tight with all the frat guys
• NEVER WEAR ANOTHER SORORITYS LETTERS
• LA PINATA, FIESTA CHARRA…yep…
• Closer with their sorority sisters, than their own family
PLACES TO GO IN OXFORD
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
JOHNNYS DELI (turn up liquids)
OXFORD SPIRITS (turn up liquids)
LATE NIGHT WILLS PIZZA (pizza live)
THE GOGGIN, (hockey guys are gods)
FOOTBALL GAMES…that’s a joke
ANYWHERE UPTOWN, YOUR GUARANTEED A
GOOD TIME, as long as its not at the copy shop, who
does school anyway?
FALL SEMESTER
• King Library, a palace of education, is not a place to do
homework, but rather a place to people watch. No one
does homework on time anyway, its college, there’s better
things to do then get an education.
• Go out with your friends during the week, morning
classes… they are in the morning, teachers expect you to
skip them…
• CHECK OUT THE FRATS. FRAT HOUSES ARE
HOLY PLACES OF FUN.
• HOCKEY GAMES, hockey here is like football to any
big ten school.
• BEAT THE CLOCK, until it gets cold Fridays and
Saturdays 1-5.
Spring SEMESTER
PLEDGES, and BABIES
• Pledging is a brutal process, where hazing is a necessity.
• Doing the dumbest things to get respect, and ultimately
become a brother
• THERE ARE SO MANY BABIES IN THE SPRING
SEMESTER. OH MY GOD HOT PLEDGE CLASS.
• Formals are proms on steroids, sorry GDI’s.
• FRATLINBURG. Unreal opportunity. Abroad for a
weekend.
• BEAT THE CLOCK SPRING WEATHER YEAHHHHH
STORIES. STORIES. STORIES
• The college process is not about your academics
• It is about the stories that you will have after your time at
THIS university
• You will not have even close to the caliber of
entertainment from any other prestigious college
• What did you do last night? That’s an everyday question
at MIAMI, not how was studying?
COLLEGE
ATHLETICS…REDHAWKS DO
WORK
• The hockey team, consistently getting girls, and going bar
down.
• Never miss a party at bar down, everyone who is anyone will
be there. Except for frat guys…
• If the hockey team goes out, then the golf team will be there in
their polo’s, they are also known as the drinking team.
• Appearances will be made by Blacki Chan, Chauncey,
Ruppert, and all the DP Buiis. Also known as OPERATION
LIQUIDIZE.
• Go to the hockey games, then hit the bars uptown, then go to
bar down late night. Bartenders are well known amongst this
group of liquidizers.
Concerts at Miami
• Our school has a tendency to get unbelievable superstars
because of our college “turn up” atmosphere
• Performaces by, Lee Brice, Luke Bryan, Wiz Khalifa,
Three-Six Mafia, Florida Georgia line etc.
• And oh, barstool blackout comes…
Oh and we have a pretty good business school…..
After seeing this
presentation… TURN UP