Using 3 or more sources
 Incorporating quotes effectively
 Effective hooks to intros
 Overall, clear sentence structure and
grammar
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Be careful of using “you” – this is rarely
effective and can mess with your tone
Pay close attention to the wording of the
prompt – this prompt deals with the effects of
advertising.
◦ This is not the same as analyzing the effectiveness
of advertising
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Use punctuation marks correctly!
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Definition vs. Synthesis
Remember, this is at heart an ARGUMENT
essay – if you’re not making a clear
argument, you won’t score well
Explaining/summarizing sources does not
make a point for YOUR argument.
Don’t let sources shape your argument.
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When you make a claim, you must support
that claim.
◦ If your claim is that “the negative impacts of
advertising outweigh the positives since ads can be
physically and emotionally destructive,” then each
subsequent paragraph needs to elaborate on that
theme.
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Don’t let the sources shape YOUR argument.
◦ If all of your paragraphs begin with something like
“According to source B…” then you’re probably
doing this.
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Make sure your thesis is a thesis
◦ Hint: If it doesn’t make a claim, it’s not.
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Make sure your thesis addresses the actual
prompt, not an interpretation of the prompt
that you think would be more interesting.
Make sure every paragraph supports the
central argument made by your thesis.
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Consider how you’re using your sources.
Sources should always support your point,
not make it for you.
Use pieces of quotes rather than entire lines
Reread your essay to make sure you’re
attaching enough commentary to your
discussion of the sources. This commentary
(your analysis) is what shapes your argument.
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Reread your essay thoroughly and highlight areas
that need significant revision and where you need
to add to what you already have.
Start with the thesis, then make an outline of
each point of YOUR argument. Include each
source you will use to support your points.
Your outline should be approved by me before
you begin rewriting (and before the end of class
today).
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Revised essay due on Monday, April 29. If you
can type it, that’d be nice.
This essay will be graded and must be
significantly different from your first essay.