You must select one of the following monologues as your audition piece. It should be memorized and well
rehearsed. In addition to projection, characterization, and other skills, we will be looking to see that you
have considered beats and motivations throughout the monologue. Many of these characters are quite
volatile and shift quickly.
Daisy: (a young man talking to his therapist about his parents) I mean it’s the inconsistency I hate them
most for! One minute they’re cooing and cuddling and feeding me Nyquil, the next minute they’re turning
on the gas jets or lying on the floor, or threatening to step on my back. How dare they treat me like that.
What’s the matter with them? I didn’t ask to be brought into the world. If they didn’t know how to raise
a child, they should have gotten a dog; or a kitten – they’re more independent – or a gerbil! But left me
unborn!
Nanny: (female, rather “off –balance” and quirky, talking to Daisy as an adult) Baby, dear, let me give you
some advice before you go. Get a lot of medical check-ups. Your parents exposed you to lead, asbestos,
and red dye #2 from this little toy you had. Try to avoid radiation and third degree burs after the atomic
explosions come. And, finally, work on having a sense of humor. Medically, humor and laughter have
been shown to physically help people to cope with the tensions of modern life that can be otherwise
internalized, leading to high blood pressure. Well! I t was very nice to see you, best of luck in the future;
and Helen, if you’d just mail me back to Eureeka, California, at your earliest convenience, I’d much
appreciate it. (Disappears into a box)
John: (adult male, highly agitated) Helen, don’t do this again. You know it makes me furious. Helen, stop
staring at the ceiling. Helen! HELEN! (Throws a toy) I’ve smashed one of Daisy’s toys. Helen, get up!
Look at me. All right, Helen, I’m going to smash another one of her toys… (Hears himself) Listen to me.
What’s happened to us? Helen, we’re ruining that poor child. I’m going to take her and leave you. We’ve
got to get away from you. Get up, Daisy, Daddy loves you. Daisy, get up. (Sweetly) Daisy, Daisy… GET
UP! Okay, Daisy, I’ll just have to carry you. Helen, I’m taking Daisy and the laundry and we’re leaving you.
(John gathers up Daisy and the laundry Daisy is buried in)
Helen: (A mother, after giving her grown son a kilt for his birthday) I gave it to you because I thought
you’d like it. Because I’m insane. I’m insane because I stayed in a bad marriage and didn’t do what I was
supposed to do with my life. But I’m not bitter.
Helen: (part II – you must perform both Helen pieces if you perform the character Helen. Talking to baby,
both reassuring and deranged) Well, of course, it’s been a terrifying day. Baby had never even seen a bus
before, let alone been under one. Don’t worry, sweetie pie. Mommy’ll protect you from now on. She’ll
protect you from buses, and from dogs, and from crazy people; and from everything and anything that
goes bump in the night.
Cynthia: (a young woman at her wit’s end) I’m just so upset. I’m very poor, and I gave birth in the
hospital to a darling little boy, or girl, and when I came home from the hospital, there’s no heat in my
apartment and there’s no furniture, there’s just my German shepherd. And, of course, I hadn’t fed it in
about a week, since I went into the hospital, so I went out to buy some baby food and some dog food. But
there’s no furniture, so I left the baby on the floor, and when I can back, the dog had eaten the baby. And
now I don’t know what to do.