Holden’s
Scrapbook!
My madman
adventure to
becoming a man
Red Hunting Hat
My red hunting hat, or as I like to call
it my people watching hat. I look
damn good in it! I bought it in a sports
store the morning of the fencing
meet. It was really quite a bargain,
only cost me a buck! I like to wear it
backwards with the peak in the back;
I don't care that people look at me
weird, I like to wear it that way. When
I’m watching someone though, I turn
the peak to the front, gives me sort of
a disguise. 17-52
Allie’s Baseball Mitt
Allie was a nice kid, he really was.
God, do I miss him. I really took it
hard when he passed away, so I
kept something to remember him by,
his baseball mitt. But you see this
wasn’t just any ol’ baseball mitt, his
was special. Allie’s was a left
handed mitt with poems written in
green ink all over it. He wrote them
so he had something to to read
when no one was up to bat so he
didn’t get bored. Quite brilliant if you
ask me. Anyway, it’s quite special to
me because it’s the only part of him I
have left. He was the only one
besides lil’ phoebe that I felt close to
and now he’s gone, I feel like I have
no one. It’s our only connection. 3841
Pencey Prep
Man did I hate this place! It was full of
phonies! It was the last school that I
had gotten kicked out of. The only
class I didn’t fail was English, and
that’s cause I actually like to write
compositions although I’m quite
illiterate. Besides, I read all the novels
at Whooton so I didn’t have to do
much work. I’m not goin’ to lie though,
although I am a good liar, I really do
miss Ackley, good ol’ Ackley kid.
Stradlater too! I mean god that guy
could really get to you after awhile but
damn did I miss him. 2-58 ; 182-185
Jane
Jane is the prettiest girl I
know. I really like her,
maybe even like-like her.
Therefore, I felt the need to
protect her from stradlater
because he would hurt her.
She still has that innocence
and I have to protect that.
Maybe it was jealousy.
Maybe I acted in a fatherly
way because I didn’t want
to see a girl that is almost
like my sister be taken
advantage of. I’m not really
sure, to be honest. I miss
playing checkers with her,
and watching her dance
around, she really is quite a
beautiful dancer. 30-44 ;63,
76-80, 150
Ducks in Central Park
I used to wonder where the ducks went
during the winter when the lagoon froze
over. Did someone care for them? Or did
they fly away and care for themselves? I
often wondered how it would be an
adult. Would there be a difference? I
never really got an answer; everyone left
me to face adulthood alone. 60; 81-83
Natural Museum of History
I love this place! It’s the best. Nothing ever changes, no
matter how many times you go there and how much time
has passed. I don’t like change much in case you haven’t
noticed. When I was younger I went here almost every
Saturday with my class. I loved the mummies, I still do. I
often go back and reminisce. 118-122; 202-204
Nightclubs
Well what else was a lonely guy like me
supposed to do? I was so lonesome it wasn’t
even funny. I thought going out to a club and
maybe finding a nice girl to neck around with
would ease my mind of all my troubles.
Problem was I was more lonesome in the
clubs than being alone in my hotel room. In
the first club, the girls were too into trying to
catch a glimpse of a celebrity, besides they
weren’t all that cute and a bit too old. The
company was okay though. Ernie’s was too
crowded and then I ran into D.B’s ex, so I
left. The last place, I was finally able to get a
drink and I met up with Carl Luce. He was
the best company I had at all of the
nightclubs, I even begged him to stay awhile
longer. 69-153
Movies/Shows
God, do I hate the movies more than anything in the
world! They are full of phonies. I mean who wants to
watch a show with a perfect actor who knows they are
good, then they become full of themselves and try too
hard. Then it’s no fun to watch anymore. The actors try
scenes like yelling over each other to create an
argument but to be honest it’s crummy and sounds
horrible, nothing like argument. 125-126; 137
The nuns
The best company I had besides Phoebe
on my whole journey. They didn’t judge
me or anything. They were very polite
and made the conversation about me, in
fact, they were very interested in my
story. It made me feel sort of special, like
someone really did care about me. I don’t
get much attention from my parents, so
the attention and focus on me was nice.
We talked about books I read in school
and where I went to school. I was too
afraid to tell them I had been kicked out of
school. They were really interested on my
views of Romeo & Juliet. I was really
nervous they were goin’ to ask if I was
Catholic. People are usually so nosey
when it comes to finding that out, but they
didn’t even ask or seem to care. I
donated ten dollars to them as well, it was
the least I could do. 109-113
Little Shirley Beans Record
I bought this record for Phoebe. I
thought she would really like it
and it reminded me of her
innocence that I longed to still
have. It would be nice to be like
Shirley Beans and stay a child all
the time because she is frozen in
time. I really wanted to give it to
phoebe and I had searched the
city for the rare record. It even
cost me five bucks! But then, I
was walking in Central Park and I
dropped it on the ground and it
shattered in a million pieces.
Maybe that represented that you
have to let go of childhood at
some point, break out of it and be
an adult. I don’t know, all I know
is I was mad! I ended up picking
up the pieces and giving the to lil’
phoebe still though. 114-116; 154
Carousel
Phoebe loved the carousel, always
did. When she thought she was too
old to go on it anymore, I told her no
she wasn’t and made her go. She
loved it sill. I wanted her to go on it
and cherish her childhood, her
innocence. I don’t want her to grow
up too fast. That’s what I love about
the carousel, it represents childhood
and the continuation of it, the song
they play is the innocence. And no
matter how much you want to tell
them to be careful when they reach
for the golden ring and giggle you
can’t because that is bad if you say
anything, they have to learn to get
back up after they fall. 210-213
Psychoanalyst / Mental
Hospital
After my long journey, this is
where I ended up. I don’t really
know why I’m in here. My
parents sent me to the hospital
near D.B in California. I mean
as usual they pushed me
further away when I needed
them most. They always do, I
don’t know why I even try
anymore. They never want to
deal with my problems. I was
really glad D.B came to see me
though. Once I get out of here I
will return to school in
September. My psychoanalyst
keeps asking if I’m going to
apply myself when I return to
school; my answer is I don’t
know, I think I will, but how do
you know until you actually do
it. 213-214