Breaking down your essay
question
Key Question:
To what extent did the Maggie
Sietsma and Natalie Weir
influence Contemporary Dance
in Brisbane from 1985 to 2015?
Make a judgement!
Evaluate!
Good or Bad etc
Evaluate what?
Evaluate Weir and
Siestma’s influence
To what extent did the Maggie
Sietsma and Natalie Weir
influence Contemporary Dance
in Brisbane from 1985 to 2015?
What do we evaluate Weir and Sietsma had influence on?
Changes to Contemporary in Brisbane.
What changes happened? How did these women influence
these changes?
Scaffold your Essay
•
•
•
•
•
•
Hypothesis (Introduction)
Explain your topic (Background paragraph)
Argument 1 (Body Paragraph 1)
Argument 2 (Body Paragraph 2)
Argument 3 (Body Paragraph 3)
Sum up Argument (Conclusion)
Introduction
Writing an introduction
•B - Background
•A – Answer (Hypothesis)
•M – Main Points
After Expressions Dance Company’s inception in 1985? artistic director
Maggie Sietsma developed over *** Contemporary pieces until Natalie
Weir took over in ****. Brisbane’s Contemporary Dance scene has become
a prominent part of the cities artistic life. Siestma influenced Brisbane’s
fledgling Contemporary dance scene by providing an outlet for creatively
minded, ‘alternative’ members of the arts community. In contrast Weir has
developed the Expressions into an approachable, inclusive Company that
engages a wider audience. Direct links can be made to Expressions Dance
Company and Contemporary Dance Education in Brisbane both in
Secondary and Tertiary schooling. Contemporary Dance was once seen as
strange and alternate after its inception* at the turn of the 20th Century.
Due to the influence of this company in particular, This art from is now
apart of mainstream life. Citizens of Brisbane are seeking out artistic
experiences on a regular basis and the city is happy to oblige. ‘Brisbane
Festival’ provides opportunities for Comedy, Circus, Dramatic, Musical and
Dance companies from around the world but most importantly from
Brisbane to share their craft with interested audiences.
After Expressions Dance Company’s inception in 1985? artistic director
Maggie Sietsma developed over *** Contemporary pieces until Natalie
Weir took over in ****. Brisbane’s Contemporary Dance scene has
become a prominent part of the cities artistic life. Siestma influenced
Brisbane’s fledgling Contemporary dance scene by providing an outlet
for creatively minded, ‘alternative’ members of the arts community. In
contrast Weir has developed the Expressions into an approachable,
inclusive Company that engages a wider audience. Direct links can be
made to Expressions Dance Company and Contemporary Dance
Education in Brisbane both in Secondary and Tertiary schooling.
Contemporary Dance was once seen as strange and alternate after its
inception* at the turn of the 20th Century. Due to the influence of this
company in particular, This art from is now apart of mainstream life.
Citizens of Brisbane are seeking out artistic experiences on a regular
basis and the city is happy to oblige. ‘Brisbane Festival’ provides
opportunities for Comedy, Circus, Dramatic, Musical and Dance
companies from around the world but most importantly from Brisbane
to share their craft with interested audiences.
The now highlighted words show you
exactly what the key points of this
argument are and the order of how
they will be presented.
After Expressions Dance Company’s inception in 1985? artistic director
Maggie Sietsma developed over *** Contemporary pieces until Natalie
Weir took over in ****. Brisbane’s Contemporary Dance scene has
become a prominent part of the cities artistic life. Siestma influenced
Brisbane’s fledgling Contemporary dance scene by providing an outlet
for creatively minded, ‘alternative’ members of the arts community. In
contrast Weir has developed the Expressions into an approachable,
inclusive Company that engages a wider audience. Direct links can be
made to Expressions Dance Company and Contemporary Dance
Education in Brisbane both in Secondary and Tertiary schooling.
Contemporary Dance was once seen as strange and alternate after its
inception* at the turn of the 20th Century. Due to the influence of this
company in particular, This art from is now apart of mainstream life.
Citizens of Brisbane are seeking out artistic experiences on a regular
basis and the city is happy to oblige. ‘Brisbane Festival’ provides
opportunities for Comedy, Circus, Dramatic, Musical and Dance
companies from around the world but most importantly from Brisbane
to share their craft with interested audiences.
Writing your body paragraphs
P.E.E.L the Paragraph
• Point
• Explain
• Evidence
• Link
Citations are in this colour for your reference
Paragraph 1
Dance education has gained popularity since its inclusion in the
Australian curriculum in *****? With *** schools in Brisbane
alone offering the program. ACCARA has developed a national
curriculum that includes dance for early high school students. The
QCAA Dance Syllabus 2010 states that students must view live
dance performances as a part of their OP studies. Therefore Weir
has jumped at the chance to cater to these audiences by
providing stimulating pieces with a clear narrative. Expressions
also offers schools an education package to assisting students
who may be completing an Appreciation task based on a specific
piece. Therefore much more than before school aged students are
becoming accustomed to viewing live dance performances. LINK
Conclusion
Writing a Conclusion
•A – Answer
(Reciting your hypothesis)
•M – Main Points
(Recapping your main points)
•C – Clincher
(Final Statement)
From a naïve society, with limited cultural interpretations,
Brisbane was transformed by the presence of American
troops during World War II. Brisbanites embraced the
American’s influence, however, at times tensions arose.
Socially, the Americans raised Brisbane’s expectations by
exposing residents to a more exciting, exhilarating way of
life. The safe patterns of Brisbane life were transformed
and new social problems such as high divorce rates,
abortion, prostitution and excessive alcohol consumption
arose. Culturally, Brisbane became aware of diversity in
entertainment and amusements. According to historian
Barry Ralph (2000), the Americans “passed this way and
helped show the way” (p. 271). The American troops
stationed in Brisbane from 1941 to 1946 transformed
Brisbane society and helped it to participate in a more
complex post war world.
From a naïve society, with limited cultural interpretations,
Brisbane was transformed by the presence of American
troops during World War II. Brisbanites embraced the
American’s influence, however, at times tensions arose.
Socially, the Americans raised Brisbane’s expectations by
exposing residents to a more exciting, exhilarating way of
life. The safe patterns of Brisbane life were transformed
and new social problems such as high divorce rates,
abortion, prostitution and excessive alcohol consumption
arose. Culturally, Brisbane became aware of diversity in
entertainment and amusements. According to historian
Barry Ralph (2000), the Americans “passed this way and
helped show the way” (p. 271). The American troops
stationed in Brisbane from 1941 to 1946 transformed
Brisbane society and helped it to participate in a more
complex post war world.
Common Mistakes in Essays
• Argument/Point too vague
• Telling the events/Writing a narrative instead
of arguing a thesis
• Irrelevant information
• Not responding to the question
• Referencing
Citation, Sources and Referencing
• Keep them short, I want to read your argument
• A source is to back up your point not be your
point!
• If you are referring to a source, going to explain a
source or using a direct part of a source you must
reference it.
• Always reference information that is not
knowledge such as statistics, graphs, images,
video etc.