Effective Listening Skills
in Communication
ISU Workforce Training
March 17, 2011
Presenter: Irene Barrett
TARGET
OBJECTIVES:
Articulate the importance of listening in communication
Assessment of your listening skills
Recognize your listening behaviors
Recognize the behavioral action required to improve your
listening skills
Listening
 Being a good listener sounds easy – but
it is really a lot of work!
 Assess your own listening.
Definition of Listening
 Listening means knowing what others
have said, meant to say and leaving
people comfortable that they have had
their say.
Why Should We Listen?
Listening is an important component of communication
 Get and give information
 Understand others’ needs
 Deal with reality and to respond appropriately
 Successfully perform our duties
A poor listener will:
 Often fail to take the requested action and
 Waste other people’s time by asking questions that have
already been answered
 Great listeners are good and strong LEADERS!
SOMEONE IS LISTENING ON THE OTHER END!
“BEING AN EFFECTIVE LISTENER MEANS PUTTING
YOURSELF IN THE OTHER PERSON’S SHOES”
Miscommunication
It’s a fact of life, it is going to happen. It will increase if the
speaker or listener:
 Cannot or will not listen effectively
 Is not given enough opportunity to speak
 Misinterprets information due to differences in culture
 Speaks too fast
 Does not ask questions or asks the wrong questions
 Jumps to conclusions
 Has personal conflicts or differences with the other
person
 Does not notice or heed non-verbal clues
Communication ProblemsListening
 “I’m too busy to explain my actions and listen to what
others have to say.” It is easy to do what’s urgent
rather than what’s important.
 Problems arise when you project an attitude of, “I
know what I want to hear. If I need your opinion, I’ll
tell it to you.”
Three Listening Problems
 Not knowing how to listen.
 Know how to listen, but choose not to do it with anyone.
 Listen intently to some, not at all to others and neutrally to
others
A key ingredient to developing effective
listening is for each person to take
responsibility to question and provide
feedback any time they do not understand a
specific communication.
The Importance of Listening
“I only wish I could find an institute that
teaches people how to listen. People
need to listen at least as much as they
need to talk. Too many people fail to
realize that real communication goes in
both directions.
Lee Iacocca, Former CEO
Chrysler Corp
Why We don’t Listen Well
We are not taught to listen!
In school we were expected to listen, yet, we were seldom
taught how to listen.
In typical K through 12 schools, students spend:
 12 years learning how to write
 1 to 2 years learning how to speak
 8 to 12 years learning how to read
 0-1/2 years learning how to listen
Listening
For years belief was that listening was automatic,
like breathing, and that it occurred naturally.
 Constantly being bombarded with audio
stimulation – TV, radio, IPODS, etc.
 To survive we’ve learned to block out irrelevant
noise,
 We are so good at this that we also block out
relevant things.
Another reason why we don’t listen:
“The gift of gab”
“If Mother Nature had intended that we speak more
often than we listen…
Listening is an Acquired Skill
Clear your mind:

Suspend all thoughts not related to the act of listening
Prepare to Listen:

Give your full attention to the person speaking
Don’t Talk or Interrupt:

Let the speaker finish their sentences then pause before you speak
Don’t Jump to Conclusions:
•
Don’t assure you know what the speaker is going to say next
Listen Between the Lines:
•
Concentrate on what is not being said
Ask Questions:
•
“Am I understanding this correctly?”
Know Yourself:
•
What words make you tune out? What actions do you display?
Tips for Listening to
Understand
Tips help you gain insight to what the speaker
feels, wants and thinks.
 Give your full attention – 110%
 Watch for the non-verbal clues
 Listen to what is being said, not what you want
to hear
 Be alert and patient
 Do not judge the speaker based on accent or
grammar
Actions to Improve Listening
 Questioning
 Selective Listening
 How to handle “Time Wasters”
 How to Listen “Under Duress”
 Work on your listening non-verbal cues
 Listening to those you like, but …
•Chatty
•Unorganized
•Complainers
•Problem Unloaders
Questioning
 Probe
 Clarify
 Confirm
 Challenge yourself to ask one more
question
 Look for a signal that let’s you know
others know you are listening
Selective Listening
 Know who you do or don’t listen to

Factors
 Challenge yourself to listen
 Listen for content

Separate it from the person
 Find some value from everyone
Handling Time Wasters
 Try being a teacher




Help others craft communications to an
acceptable manner
Be upfront about your desire for quick
summarization – more/less data
Structure conversation to categories and
structure
Nod, ask questions, help them
Listening Under Duress
 Keep calm



Don’t hit back or judge
Don’t accept or refute
Separate the person from the feedback
 Accurately understand the message


Listen
Ask clarifying questions
 Conflict Resolution/Management

Gain skills for handling such situations
Listening Non-verbal Cues
 Know your non-verbal cues

Ask someone
 Work on them!

Get feedback
Non-Verbal Clues to Listening
 Gentle rub behind/beside the ear with
the index finger usually shows signs of
doubt.
 Casual rub of the eye with one finger
may mean the other person doesn't
know what you are saying.
 A rub to the back of the head or palming
the nape of the neck typically indicates
frustration with the other person or the
situation.
Non-verbal Clues to Listening
 Thinking-interest-consideration
A stroke of the chin
 Critical evaluation of what you are
hearing –



Pinch on the bridge of the hose w/ eyes
closed
Chin resting in one’s palm
Fingers bent across the chin or below the
mouth
Listening to Those You Don’t
Like…
 Find out what others see in them
 What are their strengths?
 Find out if you have common interests
 Ask more ??s
 Talk less – give them a 2nd chance
 Don’t judge their motives or intentions
Listening To Those You Like,
but…
 Disorganized

May have to interrupt-summarize-focus
 Chatters


Don’t respond to chatty remarks
Ask ??’s to focus
 Unloaders



Assume they are looking for understanding
Summarize what they say
Don’t offer advice
Listening to those you like,
but…
 Chronic complainers

Get them to write down problems/solutions
and follow-up with you later
 Complainers about others

Have they talked to the other person?
 Encourage

them to do so
Summarize without agreeing or
disagreeing
As a Supervisor
 Be aware of potential issues

Productivity and morale of team or person
 Consult HR

Develop a plan for handling the issue
HAPPY LISTENING!!!!
THANK YOU!