Listening
“Seek first to understand…
Then to be understood.”
(Covey, 1997)
Listening is not a communication
action, it is a human action.
Understanding how to listen effectively
is an essential skill that benefits
everything from family life to business.
 Survey of personnel managers:
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Listening is most critical skill for working
effectively in teams.
Group members view people who listen
well as good leaders.
Introduction and Overview

What listening IS NOT:
Hearing vs. Listening
 Faulty listening behaviors
 Reasons for poor listening

What listening IS:

Stages of successful listening
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Personal listening styles
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Pages 113, 114
Pages 123, 124
Informational listening
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Pages 124 - 131
What Listening IS NOT

Hearing vs. Listening:

Hearing:
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“Sounds waves strike the ear drum and cause
vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.”
Automatic and effortless
Listening:

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“The brain gives the sounds meaning.”
Unnatural, requires effort
Faulty listening behaviors
1.
Pseudo listening:
1.
2.
2.
Selective listening:
1.
3.
Imitation or fake listening.
Pretending to listen.
Responding only to the parts of a
speakers remarks that interest the
receiver and rejecting everything else.
Defensive listening:
1.
Taking innocent comments as personal
attacks.
Faulty Listening, cont.

Ambushing:
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Insulated listening:
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Using listening skills to collect information
to use for an attack on the speaker.
Avoiding a particular topic.
Insensitive listening:

Unable to look beyond words for other
meanings.
Faulty listening, cont.

Stage Hogging:

Attempting to turn the conversation to
oneself.
Reasons for Poor Listening

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Requires Effort: listening is hard; it is
not natural
Message overload
Rapid thought
Psychological noise
Physical noise
Reasons for Poor Listening, cont.
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Hearing problems
Faulty assumptions
Cultural differences
Media
What Listening IS:
Listening Defined

Listening: Occurs when the brain gives
the sound transmitted meaning.

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Listening is not like breathing
It is unnatural
It requires effort
What Listening IS:
Stages of Successful Listening
1. Attending:
1.
1.
Paying attention to a signal
2. Understanding:
2.
1.
Process of making sense of a message
3. Responding:
3.
1.
2.
Giving observable feedback to the speaker
Shows you care - verbal and nonverbal
4. Remembering
4.
1.
2.
Residual Message: What is remembered
Only 25% of original message after two months
Personal Listening Styles

Content-Oriented:
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Interested in the quality of the message.
This style is useful when looking at a wide
range of perspectives and options.
People-oriented:

Concerned with creating and maintaining
positive relationships
Personal Listening Styles, cont.

Action-Oriented:
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Concerned with the task at hand.
Useful for business needs.
Time-oriented:

Most concerned with efficiency.
Informational Listening

Informational listening:

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Used when one wants to understand
another person.
The goal is to receive the same thoughts
that the other person is trying to convey.
Informational Listening, cont.
1.
Don’t Argue or Judge Prematurely
1.
2.
3.
4.
Listen to the other person first
Try to understand his/her viewpoint
Evaluate
Argue or agree
Informational Listening, cont.
Separate the message from the
speaker

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“Don’t kill the messenger”
There may be truth in the message even
from an undesirable messenger.
Informational Listening, cont.
Be open to finding a gold nugget

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Look for the big ideas and main points
Ask questions
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Paraphrase:
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Open ended - Require an explanation
Closed - “Yes” or “No”
Restate in your own words what you believe
that the speaker said.
Take notes
Critical Listening

Judging the quality of a message and
deciding to accept or reject it.
1. Listen for information first
2. Evaluate the speakers credibility
- check the source
3. Examine evidence and reasoning
4. Remove emotion
Empathetic Listening

Stages of listening (Covey, 1997)
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Ignoring
Pretend listening
Selective listening
Attentive listening
Empathic listening:

The first step to understand someone
Empathetic Listening

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The goal is to build a relationship or
help solve a problem.
This style of listening has the most
respect for the other’s point of view.
Empathetic Listening

Ways to practice empathetic listening:
1. Advising:
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2. Judging:
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Offering suggestions
Looking for constructive judgments
3. Analyzing:

Interpreting the speaker’s message
Empathic Listening, cont.
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4. Questioning:
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5. Supporting responses
6. Prompting:

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Helps sort out problems
The goal is to help the speaker draw
conclusions for him/herself
7. Paraphrasing:

Restating in your words what you think is
the speaker’s message.
Helping - When and How

Choose the best helping style based on:

Situation based on what the person needs:

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Advice
Encouragement and support
Your analysis or judgment
Probing questions and paraphrasing to help
him/her find own answers
Helping - When and How

Choose the best helping style based on:

The other person’s most likely reaction to
your help. Some people:

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Appreciate direct advice
Want you to make the decision for them
Are defensive and aren’t capable of receiving
analysis or judgments. They lash out and want
to “kill the messenger.”
Can’t think through the problems clearly even
with the use of probing and paraphrasing.
Summary

Identify and refute myths about listening

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Conclusion: Effective listening is a necessary
skill to be successful
Five Step Process
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1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Hearing
Attending
Understanding
Responding
Remembering
Summary continued

Ineffective types of listening

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Pseudo
Selective
Defensive
Ambushing
Insulated
Insensitive
Stage Hogging
Summary continued

Challenges that make effective listening
difficult
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Effort
Message (Information) Overload
Rapid Thought
Psychological Noise
Physical Noise
Hearing Problems
Summary continued

Challenges that make effective listening
difficult



Wanting to talk more than to listen
Cultural differences
Media influences
Summary continued

Personal Listening Styles

Content-Oriented


People-Oriented


Creating and maintaining positive relationships
Action-Oriented


Evaluate the quality of ideas
Want to decide what response is required by a
message
Time-Oriented

Efficiency, Meeting deadlines
Summary continued

Three types of listening

1. Informational
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2. Critical
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Goal: Understand another person’s ideas
Use active listening P & P
Goal: Judge the quality of an idea
3. Empathic

Goal: Help the speaker, not the receiver