The freedom of simplicity
• From exhausted to energised:
looking at time
• From isolated to connected:
looking at friendship
• From stuck to moving on:
looking at the
seasons of life
• From restless to fulfilled:
looking at work
What is friendship?
To know and be known
To be accepted and to accept – no masks
To love one another – despite our quirkiness
To serve one another – practical stuff
To celebrate together
Proverbs 13:20 (NIV)
Walk with the wise and become wise,
for a companion of fools suffers harm.
(Message)
Become wise by walking with the wise;
hang out with fools and watch your life fall
to pieces.
Jesus’ friendships
The crowds…
The 72: his ministry gang
The 12: hand picked friends
The 3: Peter, James & John
The other 3: Martha, Mary
& Lazarus
Who do we bring close to our heart?
Proverbs 6:16
There are six things the LORD hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in
the community.
1. Pride: haughty eyes
Looking down on others.
Arrogance is corrosive.
2. Dishonesty: a lying tongue
Blatant lying.
Also fudging, white lies, omission.
3. Mean spiritedness: hands that
shed innocent blood
Manipulators, oppressors, bullies.
4 & 5 Those looking for trouble:
devising wicked schemes; running
into wickedness.
Lacking integrity.
6. Spreading gossip: a false
witness. Tearing others down.
7. Divisive: stirring up conflict.
Bridge builders or bomb throwers?
The welcome signs…
Love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness,
self control.
Gal 5:22
Levels of friendship
Circumstantial friends
People at the gym, work, pub.
Love them, invite them to church,
they matter.
If we think of them as true
friends we may be disappointed.
True friend for a season – our 12
Deep connection – but for a time.
As friendships are moving on:
• Let people go slowly & sensitively.
• End well. Keep doors open.
• Don’t avoid or judge!
As God brings new people alongside us:
• Take small steps - invest time
• Create shared experiences
• Wait for the volley
• Take off your mask first
• In a crisis - show up!
Lifelong friends – our 3
Generous gift from God
Remember to keep
one hand in and
one hand out
When it goes wrong…
On the cross Jesus showed us radical forgiveness.
His prayer… Father, forgive them, for they do not
know what they are doing. Luke 23:34
Impact of radical forgiveness…
Surely this man was the Son of God! Mark 15:39
Minor offences
A road bump.
Puts us in poor me mode.
Need to put ourselves in their shoes.
1 Cor 13:5 (love…) does not dishonour
others, it is not self-seeking, it is
not easily angered, it keeps
no record of wrongs.
Let it go…
A heart full of God’s spirit builds resilience in us:
• don’t play victim
• don’t stand on our rights
• don’t justify
• allow the Holy Spirit to whisper
Legitimate wound
More complex. Needs resolution and healing.
This will happen to all of us sooner or later.
What should we do?
Gut instinct – revenge.
Problem – never gives real
satisfaction.
We need to come to terms with what has
happened.
Then look to God for help to forgive.
• Full acknowledgement of the wrong done.
• Grieve over what has been lost.
• Then let the other
person go.
We release them not for their sake but for ours.
Revenge never brings peace;
forgiveness ALWAYS does.
Revenge keeps us a slave;
forgiveness ALWAYS sets us free.
You can develop a healthy, robust community that
lives right with God and enjoy its results only if
you do the hard work of getting along with each
other, treating each other with dignity and
honour. James 3:18
• Go – you initiate
• Go alone – talk directly
• Go to reconcile – aim for a win
• Go now – don’t leave things
to fester
• Let it go – knowing you’ve
done everything you can
Radical forgiveness is
powerful
Begins as we experience
the forgiveness of our
own sin.
Let us be a people of
radical forgiveness.