Discovering Your Gifts
The lesson focuses on being a servant.
Leader Preparation
Lesson Overview
The lesson focuses on being a servant. Two disciples-with their mother!-approach Jesus and ask for seats
of honor in his kingdom. Jesus responds by reminding the disciples that it is better to serve than to be
served. He was the ultimate example of service, and he wants his disciples to follow this example. In this
lesson, your students will see how Jesus is our model for serving others through our spiritual gifts and
God-given talents.
Lesson Objectives
1. WHAT: Jesus set the standard for serving others; he had every right to demand that people serve
him, but he chose to be a servant.
2. WHY: Serving others through your spiritual gifts and God-given talents is ultimately better and
more rewarding than having others serve you.
3. HOW: Each student will be encouraged to identify a specific person to serve this next week, as a
way to develop the habit of service.
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Primary Scripture
Matthew 20:20-28, 1 Corinthians 12:12-31
Teaching Prep
The short overview below is designed to help you prepare for your lesson. While you may not want
to convey this information word-for-word with your teenagers, you'll definitely want to refer to it
as you lead your small group lesson.
Read Matthew 20:20-28.
James and John were looking for greatness and asked Jesus if they could be the greatest in his kingdom.
Jesus responds by going straight to the heart of the question. The brothers, and the other disciples, needed
a reminder that humility and service are more important than being honored. This is a lesson that we all
need to remember as much as the disciples needed to hear it-especially as we serve others through our
spiritual gifts and God-given talents. Then we'll look at 1 Corinthians 12:12-31, where Paul speaks to the
Corinthians about how each believer in the body (local church) works together for the good of the whole,
each person bringing what they have been created by God uniquely to bring to the table.
The Before & After (optional)
Text Message Questions
We've provided a couple of different text message questions to send out to your students prior to
your meeting. Feel free to use one or both of the questions below. As with the rest of the
curriculum, edit these questions to fit the needs of your ministry.
Do you want to be great? Come to small group tonight and find out Jesus' advice on getting there.
How do you fit in at church? Let's talk about how God says you fit at small group tonight!
Parent Email
We've provided you with an email below that you can send to your parents following the lesson.
Our hope is to encourage parents to continue the conversation at home. Feel free to edit and
customize the email to fit your ministry needs.
Dear parents,
This week, our small groups continued to look at the five biblical purposes for our lives. The topic of
discussion was on service. In Matthew 20:20-28, James and John's mother asks Jesus to place her sons in
the seats of honor in heaven. Jesus responds by telling his disciples that to be great, you must be a servant,
and to be first, you must be a slave. Jesus came to serve, not to be served. And he desires the same
attitude from us. Our students looked at what it means to be a servant and a slave. And we looked at how
this is different from the world's expectations. There are times in our lives where we want to be honored
and recognized, but God wants us to focus more energy on thinking about others as we serve through our
spiritual gifts and God-given talents. This week, when you get a chance, talk with your teenager about
serving. Talk about how your family serves-or how your family could start serving. You might ask what
specific changes your student wants to make in order to be a better servant. Then find out what you can
do to help your teenager make this transition. Or open up the discussion to determining how your family,
as a whole, can be better servants. Each week I like to offer some questions that can help generate
conversation with your teenager. Here are some to consider based on this lesson:
 Is it possible to desire recognition or appreciation without it becoming a pride issue? Why or why
not?
 Jesus says that if we want to be leaders, we must be servants. How does this line up with the way our
culture talks about leadership?
Do you find it easy or tough to serve other people? Why do you think that's the case?
Have an awesome week!
Lesson Guide
Getting Things Started (optional)
As you begin your small group, welcome your students and invite them into your meeting area.
Open in prayer, and then SAY SOMETHING LIKE:
Today we're talking about Discovering your Gifts. We're going to start off a little differently today, I'm
going to have you fill out what we call a SHAPE test. (Leaders, you can find this file to the MY FILES
section) This test will help you start thinking about the unique way that God has made you, and therefore
the unique part that you have in his Body, the Church!
I'll give you about 10 minutes to fill this out, and we'll come back to it at the end for you to revisit it.
Teaching Points
The goal of the Teaching Points is to help students capture the essence of each lesson with more
discussion and less lecture-style teaching. The main points we have chosen here are (1) Start with
the heart (2) Become a servant, (3) Become a slave, and (4) Follow Jesus' example.
Remember: All throughout these lessons, it's up to you to choose (1) how many questions you use,
and (2) the wording of the main points-keep ours, or change the wording to make it clearer for your
audience. Read Matthew 20:20-28 together as a group. Consider allowing one or more of the
teenagers to read the text.
SAY SOMETHING LIKE: Let's take a look at how we can become more like Jesus by serving others
the way that God has uniquely created us to!
•1. Start with the heart
SAY SOMETHING LIKE: We all want people to notice and recognize when we do something well.
When we put time and effort into improving our abilities or skills, it's nice to hear someone say "good
job." This isn't always a bad thing, but the first step in advancing in God's kingdom is to not expect
recognition for good deeds. Don't serve because you want to be honored. If you receive thanks or
recognition, that's great. But don't let that be your motivation for serving others through your spiritual
gifts and God-given talents.
ASK:
How were the disciples 'off' with what they were asking?
What cup was Jesus talking about? What cup did the disciples think he was talking about?
 How did Jesus redirect them to what's really important? Who did he use as an example of what NOT
to do?
At church, are you more interested with being served or serving? Explain your response.
Do you think it's wrong to want greatness? Why or why not?
 In Matthew 20, Jesus specifically mentions that the rulers and officials were quick to exercise their
power and flaunt their authority. Is this statement less relevant today or more relevant today than
when Jesus said it? Explain.
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SAY SOMETHING LIKE: Jesus didn't criticize the disciples for wanting to be in a position of honor or
influence. In fact, being in a position of influence is a great thing if used for the glory of God! What
makes the difference is a heart of service, using what we have for the good of others and the advancement
of the Kingdom.
•2. Become a servant
Have a student read 1 Corinthians 12:12-30.
SAY SOMETHING LIKE: A servant is expected to perform tasks for other people. A servant puts other
people's desires before his own. A servant thinks about what other people need before he thinks about
what he needs. God's definition of greatness means caring for others and serving others through our
spiritual gifts and God-given talents.
ASK:
 Jesus says that if we want to be leaders, we must be servants. How does this line up with the way our
culture talks about leadership?
Do you find it easy or tough to serve other people? Why do you think that's the case?
What does this passage say about a person who knows they are gifted in an area, but chooses not to
use that area to benefit the church?
 What does this passage say about the worth of one's person's gifts over anothers?
What does Paul say about how we'll be blessed if we follow God's commands by bringing our gifts to
the table and serving the local church? (vs. 26)
3. Bring your best!
SAY SOMETHING LIKE: When we look at Paul's words in 1 Corinthians, we see something beautifulthat God made us each incredibly unique for his purposes! So we glorify God when we find out what we
do best, and we do it as part of his body, the church. Let's look at your SHAPE tests and look at how God
has made each of you!
ASK:
How do you explain the fact that each of us is more passionate about certain things than others?
What did you put under the 'heart portion? Where are you involved in activities that fall under that?
When people have strengths and abilities, where do you think those get used the most? Why?
 Can you identify and activity or involvement past or present, that you bring your whole heart to?
Conversely, can you identify an activity or involvement, past or present, that you STRUGGLE to bring
your whole heart to?
 What did you put for the last question on the back? Do you think that that could become a reality?
What's holding you back from pursuing that?
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Additional Discussion (optional)
ASK:
 Is it possible to serve people or participate in some kind of ministry with entirely "pure" motives-with
no desire for recognition or attention? Why or why not? If it's not possible, what level of pride
disqualifies us from ministry or serving?

 Read 1 Peter 5:5. What's the connection between serving others and being humble? What does it
mean to be humble?
 Matthew 20:24 tells us the other disciples became indignant toward James and John-perhaps because
they also wanted a seat of honor! When have you been in a situation where you wanted something but
a friend asked for it before you could? How did you respond?
 Read verse 28. What does it mean for Jesus to give his life as a ransom for many? What is the purpose
of a ransom? What's the spiritual significance of this?

Application
Pair up with another person in the group for these questions.
ASK:
 To become a more Christ-like servant as you use your spiritual gifts and God-given talents, what
attitudes and actions in your life need to change?
 Identify one person in your "world." What specific steps can you take this week to serve this person?
How might this experience help you grow as a servant?
Talk about your answer to the last question on the back of the SHAPE test.
Pray together for each other, for opportunities to begin to serve in this way.
For keeps
Encourage and/or challenge your teenagers to memorize the verse below.
"But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and
whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave" (Matthew 20:26-27).