Communication and the Self
Chapter 2
Communication and the Self-Concept
Self- concept: the relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself
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the reflection that you see of your talents, skills, values, roles, etc. would be your selfconcept
self-concept doesn’t have to be based individually. It can also be based on the communities
developed image of themselves.
ie. Identities of different groups such as ethnic, religious, family, social, etc.
Cipher in the Snow ( small story )
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Cliff Evans, a high school student, collapses and dies on the snowbank after getting off a
school bus in front of a hotel
His teacher was at the scene, while she was driving behind the bus
When the teacher arrived to work, she was insisted by the principal to go and tell the
news to Cliff’s parents
While at the Evan’s residence, the teacher sensed that the stepfather wasn’t too
sympathetic to the whole situation
The teacher sorted out Cliff’s school records and noticed a pattern that from grade three
remarks such as “slow learner” and “low IQ” were written. The remarks went up to grade
seven.
Cliff believed these remarks. His self-esteem went down and he felt like “a nobody”
Cliff’s present teacher was very upset and she promised her students that they wouldn’t
feel the way Cliff felt.
How the Self-Concept Develops
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Soon after birth the infant begins to differentiate among the stimuli in the environment :
familiar and unfamiliar faces, the sounds that mean food, the noises that frighten, the cat that
jumps in the crib, the sister who tickles – each becomes a separate part of the world
First year : the child begins to recognize “ self” as distinct from surroundings
ie. Fascinated by staring at their hand and feet and they realize that it’s them.
Reflected Appraisal: The Looking-Glass Self
Reflected appraisal: where each of us develop a self concept that matches the way we believe
other people see us
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We will probably feel good about ourselves to the extent that others seem to feel good
about us
Nonverbal statements play a big role in shaping a youngster’s feelings of being “ OK” or
“not OK”
All children accept the positive and negative messages of how they view themselves.
They trust people.
ie. Positive messages : “ You’re so cute!” “What a big girl”
Negative messages: “You’re driving me crazy!” “ You’re a bad boy/girl.”
Significant others: people whose opinions we especially value
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The evaluations of a few especially important people can have long-range effects. Such
as teachers, a special friend or relative or perhaps a barely known acquaintance whom
you respected can all leave an imprint on how you view yourself
Social Comparison
Social Comparison: evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare with others
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We decide whether we are superior or inferior by comparing ourselves with others
ie. Attractive or ugly, success or failure, smart or stupid
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how we feel about ourselves depends on those against whom we measure ourselves
comparing ourselves with images in the media can lead to serious behavioral disorders,
such as depression, anorexia, bulimia and other eating disorders
social comparison also provides a way to decide if we are the same as or different from
others
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Reference Groups: groups against which we compare ourselves, thereby influencing our selfconcept and self-esteem
 Depend on the opinions of others on how they physically observe us.
ie. We generally see being fat as undesirable because others tell us it is
Characteristic of the Self-Concept
The Self-Concept is Subjective ( distorted )
People are more critical of themselves when they are experiencing negative mood than when
they are feeling more positive
Obsolete information: effects of past failures in school or social relations can linger long after
they happened, even though such events don’t predict failure in the future
Distorted feedback: can create a self-image that is worse or better than the facts warrant.
ie. Remarks of cruel friends, uncaring teachers can have a lasting effect
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Once communicators fasten on to a self-concept-whether it is positive or negative-the
tendency is to seek out people who confirm it
Self-verification: to look for people who confirm our self-concept
Perfection: the way to be liked and admired, is to show no flaws
Social expectations: people who often sell themselves short
ie. People who like to brag about their achievements, or have too much of an ego saying
they look too good
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people who dislike themselves are likely to believe that others won’t like them either
→ Table 2.1 Differences between Communicators with High and Low-Self Esteem
The Self-Concept Resists Change
Congnitive Conservatism: to seek and attend to information that conforms to an existing selfconcept
ie. A student who did well in earlier years but now has failed to study might be unwilling to
admit that the label “good scholar” no longer applies
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they honestly believe that the old truths still hold, precisely because their self-concepts
have been so resistant to change
Inaccurate self concept ~ example: a girl who has been off braces for two years and still
sees herself ugly despite the compliments that were given to her
Inaccurate self concept ~ self-delusional and lack of growth : not seeing the real need for
change
Influences on Identity
Diversity
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Unlike Americans, who attempt to shed their ethnicity and subcultures, Canadians
celebrate differences
Languages that society use affects self-concept
When your primary language is not the majority one, or when it lacks prestige, the sense
of being a member of what social scientists call the “out group” is strong
Culture
Most Western cultures are highly individualistic, whereas other traditional cultures- most Asian
ones, for example-are much more collective
Collective Cultures
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A person gains identity by belonging to a group (the use of “we”)
There is a higher degree of apprehension attached to communication ( higher degree of
anxiety about speaking out )
Individual Cultures
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Self-promotion (the use of “I”)
Being “assertive”
→ Table 2.2 The Self in Individualistic and Collectivistic Cultures
Sex and Gender
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Being a female or male shapes the way others communicate with us, and thus how they
shape our sense of self
ie. A man who stands up for his beliefs might get approval for being “ tough” or
“persistent,” whereas a woman who behaves in the same way could be described
by critics as a “nag” or a “bitch”
Research demonstrates that our sense of self is shaped strongly by the people with whom
we communicate and by the contexts in which we communicate
ie. A woman whose self-esteem is stifled by the limited expectations of bosses
and co-workers could look for more hospitable places to work
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication
Self-fulfilling prophecy: the notion of making predictions about future behaviors or feelings and
then acting according to those predictions or prophecies
Self-Imposed Prophecies
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Occur when your own expectations influence your behavior
ie. Subjects who were sensitive to social rejection tended to expect rejection,
perceive it where it might not have existed, and overreact to their exaggerated
perceptions in ways that jeopardized the quality of their relationships
Other-Imposed Prophecies
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Your actions may be governed by the expectations that others have of you
ie. Teachers who influence their students that they are capable of doing well and
the students accept that concept.
Influence of Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
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The influence of self-fulfilling prophecies on communication can be strong, acting either
to improve or harm relationships
ie. If upper management believes in employees, they, too come to believe in
themselves
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we are what we believe we are
Changing Your Self-Concept
Have Realistic Expectations
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It is important to judge yourself in terms of your own growth and not against the behavior
of others
Perfection is fine as an ideal, but you’re being unfair to yourself if you expect to actually
reach it
Have a Realistic Perception of Yourself
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A periodic session of recognizing your strengths, is often a good way to put your
strengths and shortcomings into perspective
Seek out more supportive people who will acknowledge your assets as well as point out
your shortcomings
Have the Will to Change
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You can change in many ways, if only you are willing to make the effort
Have the Skills to Change
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Seek advice- from books, instructors, counselors, and other experts, as well as friends
Observe models- people who handle themselves in the ways you would like to master.
Watch what people you admire do and say, not so that you can copy them, but so that you
can adapt their behavior to fit your own personal style
Presenting the Self: Communication as Identity Management
Public and Private Selves
Perceived Self: the person you believe yourself to be in moments of honest self-examination
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Elements of yourself there that you wouldn’t disclose to many people, and some that you
wouldn’t tell anyone
Presenting Self: a public image- the way we want other to view us
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Wanting to seek and create a socially approved image: diligent student, loyal friend etc.
Characteristics of Identity Management
We Strive to Construct Multiple Identities
ie. A teacher who presents himself as serious and informative in the classroom, but out of the
workplace when he goes to hockey practice that’s his time for fun and how he speaks informally
to his teammates
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we all act differently in different situations
Identity Management is Collaborative
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Each of us is a kind of playwright who creates roles that reflect how we want others to
see us
Identity-related communication can be viewed as a kind of process theatre in which we
collaborate with other actors to improvise scenes in which our character mesh
All conversations provide an arena in which communicators construct their identities in
response to the behavior of others
Identity Management Can be Deliberate or Unconscious
There are some situations where you make a conscious attempt to manage impressions (usually
face-to-face )
Deliberate Identity Management: being careful of what you say and how you act when you are
at a job interview or on a first date. Facial mimicry such as smiling or looking sympathetic in
response to another’s message
If there is no face-to-face contact, expressions are not shown
Unconscious Identity Management: talking over the phone and reactions cannot be seen
Identity Management Varies by Situation
ie. You’re trying to impress a potential boss, and you know how carefully you presented yourself
or in courtship situations on how men present and talk to attractive women vs. women they
talk to whom they don’t have any physical attraction with.
People Differ in their Degree of Identity Management
High self-monitoring: People who pay attention to themselves are generally good actors who
can create the identity they want, acting interested when bored or friendly when they really feel
quite the opposite. However it is difficult to tell how they are really feeling. They don’t even
know how they feel
Low self-monitoring: have a simpler, more focused idea of who they are and who they want to
be. They are easy to read and are straight forward communicators.
Why Manage Identities?
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We create and maintain a front to follow social rules
Social rules govern our behavior in a variety of settings
ie. Employees need to appear respectful when talking to their boss
to accomplish personal goals
ie. Chatting sociably with neighbors you don’t find especially interesting so you
can exchange favors. Earning people’s respect
How Do We Manage Identities?
Face-to Face Impression Management
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much of a communicator’s manner comes from what he or she says
nonverbal behaviors play a big role in creating impressions
appearance- creating that professional image on how you dress
choice of setting – physical items that people views us, such as our cars. They make
statements about the kind of people we are, or the colors we choose in the place we live.
Impression Management in Mediated Communications
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Email: limits the potential for identity management
They don’t convey the tone of voice, postures, gestures, or facial expressions
Don’t force the receiver to respond immediately
The receiver can ignore the message rather than give an unpleasant response
Identity Management and Honesty
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Identity management involves deciding which face-which part of yourself-to reveal
It is important to be aware that just as you are managing your identity, so too are those
around you managing theirs