North Island School Administrators Conference August 2014 Communication for Harmony & Productivity PRESENTED BY: Rosita Guy Dip. I.R., Cert. I.R., Cert. Sup. Mgt. AFHRINZ Principal Rosita Guy Associates Christchurch 2 WHY DO WE HAVE COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS? Communication is an extremely complex two-way process - both parties must ascertain the other participant's background and the context into which communication is being placed. Role-playing - we are taught to suppress feelings, be polite, and have the "right" personality (prevalent in NZ society?) Generally we fear and avoid conflict - even though conflict is believed essential to development, many of us avoid it for fear of disrupting relationships - most of us tend to deal with conflict indirectly, politically correctly. We tend to draw conclusions, make assumptions, evaluate and judge rather than observe and report what we see, hear and feel. Mind reading is attempted frequently, often without success. Clear self-perception or self-understanding is rare as education does not concentrate on this aspect. Education also tends to concentrate on one-way communication and competitive, rather than collaborative, skills. In the work situation, many of these basic causes can be compounded by the work environment. For example, the existence of formal hierarchy and communication channels, “office politics", competition (e.g. for promotion) and the bringing together for no reason other than work of a wide variety of people of different backgrounds, experiences, ages, interests and personalities can make all communication more difficult. Effective workplace communication is smart communication. It is about reducing the risk of getting the wrong message across to an employee or the employee misunderstanding the message. Getting it wrong can have dire consequences. “If you expect it and don’t tell people you want it – you’ll never get it. People are lousy mind readers” James A. Belasco “Teaching the Elephant To Dance” Communication for Harmony & Productivity ©Rosita Guy Associates, Christchurch 3 COMMUNICATION BARRIERS AND BREAKDOWNS The most common communication barriers or breakdown in Communication are listed below. Does your style of communication erect a barrier resulting in a breakdown of communication? Highlight your answers. 1. Badly Expressed Messages due to poor organisation of material • • • • • • Yes No inappropriate words poorly constructed sentences omissions ambiguity lack of coherence failure to clarify implications and ideas 2. Inattention by the Receiver Yes No Usually due to lack of motivation, so that messages are not read or heard. Physical Barriers - such as: • distance • competing noise levels • message crossing • becoming confused • too many or too few messages • volume too loud or soft • problems (e.g. eyesight, hearing, tiredness or discomfort) 1. Insufficient Adjustment Period- for example: Yes No • regarding changes of roster, location or skills. As a receiver the person will be concentrating upon adjusting to changes and the implications of the changes therefore careful consideration is required. The communication should be prepared and delivered carefully and in plenty of time. 2. Distrust of InconsistencyYes No • may occur where someone has a reputation for modifying original communication, so that receivers tend to ignore it or delay action 3. Premature Evaluation Yes No • predicting or foreseeing the whole of a message when the communication is only partially completed • prevents the transfer of any further information, since the receiver thinks he/she knows the whole message, and so stops listening Ideally, one should listen in a non-committal, unprejudiced way, and check that one understands the whole of the message, before making a response. 4. Fear • Yes No other emotions interfere with the process e.g. when an employee fails to report a problem to his/her boss, or where the problem is only partly explained. This usually happens through fear of the consequences of full disclosure, e.g. rejection. Communication for Harmony & Productivity ©Rosita Guy Associates, Christchurch 4 5. Individual Frame of Reference Yes No • this may consist of a large number of factors, all relating to background experience The main ones are: (a) Age - interests vary among different groups, leading to "generation gaps" (b) Gender- role concepts and attitudes may lead to premature evaluation of the message (c) Education Level - the same words may have different meanings to different groups, for example swearing may be a sign of regard and affection in some cases but in other cases offensive (d) Perceptual Ability - the ability to understand ideas; testing the understanding with sensitivity (e) Lack of Confidence - may result in the message not having enough emphasis, receiving inadequate feedback (due to fear), or the sender only communicating what the receiver wants to hear (f) Past Experience - unpleasant past experiences may cause negative reactions in the future. (g) Language, Race and Culture – accents, customs etc. (h) Beliefs and Attitudes such a religious, political, moral and social. These may be strongly held and ingrained, making them very difficult to overcome. LANGUAGE BARRIERS • • • • • Different Languages and Dialects - if people do not understand, they may "turn off" and ignore alternative ways of communicating, such as gestures. Tone and Interference - the way things are said and their implied meaning. Sometimes the two may contradict. Idiom - when words do not their usual or "dictionary" meaning, e.g. "kick the bucket", "fed up with". People who are not familiar with such terms may not understand them. Language Changes - particularly the spoken word. The meanings of some words have changed over the years Meaning and Context - for example, "the chair" may mean different things to a housewife, a politician and a prisoner. Taking word or phrases out of their original context may result in confusion and misrepresentation. The New Zealand Way – egalitarianism; we are more casual in speaking to our senior people; we challenge their views where appropriate and complain about some aspects of the work environment either formally or informally. We ask a person; ‘Do you think you could complete this project for me?’ The Non New Zealand Way (migrant employees); in many countries employees are spoken to in a very direct way and informal talk at work is discouraged. ‘Complete this project by the end of the month’. Their work cultures tend to be more hierarchical and status is valued highly. They are also highly skilled and specialists in their field as opposed to many New Zealanders who tend to be generalists with a wide range of skills. Communication for Harmony & Productivity ©Rosita Guy Associates, Christchurch 5 The Four (4) Elements of Communication: Discuss the significance of these four (4) elements in the workplace. 1. The specific message. 2. The channel of the message. 3. The time the communication takes place. 4. The environment in which the communication takes place. HOW DO WE COMMUNICATE Sight 38% Sound 29% Taste 11% Touch 11% Smell 11% The most common means of communication is verbal yet it is one of the least effective. The average person has a concentration span of 30 seconds. TYPES OF COMMUNICATION Verbal • expressive - speaking • receptive - listening Non Verbal • actions • gesture • clothing • posture • facial expression • position or location • voice Communication for Harmony & Productivity ©Rosita Guy Associates, Christchurch 6 Types of Unethical Communication in the New Zealand Workplace Good’ communication should be clear, honest, democratic, sincere, logical and respectful of its audience. But what other types of disreputable communication exist in workplace settings? Listed are some types of unethical communication activities common in organisational settings: Communication Type Occurs in Workplace? your Do you find yourself Yes Communicating in this way? Coercive acts are abuses of power or authority (for example by intimidating or threatening others) in an unjustifiable attempt to influence behaviours. Destructive communication behaviours use aggression to target self esteem, reputation or feelings and often take the form of insults, backstabbing and inappropriate jokes. Deceptive communication refers to lying and cheating, as well as the use of euphemistic language to hide meaning or information, or to put a misleadingly positive ’spin‘ on something. Intrusive communication invades privacy, particularly through surveillance and includes acts such as eavesdropping, tapping telephones or monitoring Internet use. Secretive communication is usually nonverbal and covers silence, unresponsiveness, hoarding information and cover-ups. Manipulative-exploitative refers to communication acts which attempt to gain compliance or control through exploitation of fears, prejudices or ignorance, as well as behaviours that patronise or condescend. COMMUNICATION IN THE NEW ZEALAND WORKPLACE THEORY AND PRACTICE Edited by Frank Sligo and Ralph Bathurst http://praxis.massey.ac.nz/fileadmin/Praxis/Files/Fountaine.pdf Communication for Harmony & Productivity ©Rosita Guy Associates, Christchurch No Sometimes 7 LISTENING People do not naturally have good listening skills. 75% of what is said will soon be forgotten. A high level of information is being received by the human body from all the senses at the same time; 24 hours per day. Why do people not listen well? They tend to filter out the information received and there are many reasons for this: dislike of the person people taking a length of time to convey their message Cues are given to illustrate the non listener e.g. lack of response. People tend to demonstrate one of several attitudes when being spoken to:Attending * listener shows interest by eye contact, often nodding, making * encouraging sounds or words, takes notes Non Attending: * listener fidgets, yawns, talks to someone else, looks elsewhere and texts Barriers to Listening: * listener assumes what is being said and switches off * interrupts what is being said * listens, then fills in the gaps with own past experiences * pressure of time; listener becomes anxious Active Listening: * listener asks questions and summarises back * checks that they understood * good way to build rapport with the speaker * can be a control device to steer the conversation in a productive direction * moves the conversation to a close In a conversation a speaker will give three (3) clues into what they are really trying to say, 1. 2. Intention: Pattern: 3. Emotion: * what does the speaker really mean, what do they really want * a pattern will usually run through what the speaker is saying; * sit back and wait for a theme to emerge * a marker for what the real issue is often shown by the inflection in the speaker’s voice; angry, happy, sad Remember: It is acceptable to recognise that we are not all perfect listeners. If you don’t understand what the speaker is talking about or where the conversation is going ask the speaker to explain it another way which may help you understand what they are saying. The only stupid question is the one that is never asked! Follow up Listening: Is the way you express yourself allow the other person to “hear” or “understand”? Do you illustrate what you mean by a story or a visual explanation? Do people feel embarrassed in stating to you that they do not understand what you are saying? Contemporary Workplace Communications ©Rosita Guy Associates I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant. 8 THE DO’S & DON'TS OF LISTENING DO DO DO DO DO DO DO Become aware of your own listening habits. What good listening skills do you have? What are your faults? Share responsibility for the communication. Whenever you are unclear about what a speaker is saying, it is your responsibility to let the speaker know this. Be physically attentive. Face the speaker; sit or stand to put the speaker at ease; adopt an accepting attitude to the speaker. Concentrate on what the speaker is saying. We have short attention spans and listening requires deliberate concentration. listen for the total meaning. Listen for feelings as well as information. Observe the speaker's nonverbal signals. Watch the speaker's facial expressions, their eye contact, tone of voice, rate of speech. Does the body language reinforce or contradict their spoken words? Close the ‘loop’ by taking appropriate action. DON'T mistake not talking for listening DON'T mistake not talking for listening DON'T fake listening. Disinterest or boredom inevitably shows through. DON'T interrupt needlessly (or at least follow it with a retrieval) DON'T pass judgment too quickly DON'T make arguing an "Ego trip" (i.e. tendency to look forward to your turn to talk) DON'T ask too many questions. In some communications this moves control from the listener to the speaker. DON'T tell a speaker "I know exactly how you feel" This remark probably serves to Justify your own efforts rather than to convince someone that you are really listening DON'T overreact to emotional words DON'T use listening as a way of hiding yourself They are not listening as much as not talking. Scale: YOU ALWAYS DO THIS Contemporary Workplace Communications ©Rosita Guy Associates YOU SOMETIMES DO THIS YOU NEVER DO THIS 9 COMMUNICATION/BEHAVIOUR There are four basic communication styles/behaviours Assertive Aggressive • • Non Assertive Passive Aggressive ASSERTIVE (the most effective and healthiest form) We behave assertively when we state our needs, wants, opinions, feelings or beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways. We endeavour to create satisfying solutions. Relationships are important so a win/win outcome is the ultimate result. It is the least used style. NON ASSERTIVE (based on compliance and confrontation avoidance) We behave non-assertively when we fail to state our needs, wants, opinions, feelings or beliefs, or state them in a way that makes it easy for others to disregard them. We do not question or say too much. We believe it is safer not to react and be invisible than the stand up for ourselves and be noticed. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR (involves manipulation) We behave aggressively when we ignore or dismiss the needs, wants, opinions, feelings or beliefs of others, or express our own needs or wants in inappropriate ways. We use guilt (hurt), intimidation and control tactics (anger) to make others conform to our wishes. Our needs are the most important; no-one else’s. It is often used in highly stressful conditions. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE (avoids direct confrontation but uses manipulation to realise our wants) We use both styles in a devious way to make it appear that you are considering the other’s needs but we intend being in the dominant position and ‘winning’ Why is Assertiveness important and healthy for our relationships? In addition to achieving results in our jobs we also need to maintain relations with others. Being assertive offers us a better chance of achieving both objectives. When we behave assertively: • Both people’s needs are more likely to be satisfied • All parties involved are satisfied by the behaviour portrayed • We have confidence in ourselves • We can influence events rather than being only influenced by events Guidelines for Behaving Assertively • Decide what you want • Support what you say by how you say it • Listen Contemporary Workplace Communications ©Rosita Guy Associates • Say it clearly and specifically • Do not be manipulated or side tracked • Aim for a “win-win” situation 10 A GUIDE TO GIVING FEEDBACK AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK Feedback communicates to a person how he/she is seen by other people and how he/she affects other people. Giving feedback is a way of helping another person to consider changing his/he behaviour and, if appropriate, to help him/her change behaviour. Feedback helps an individual keep his/her behaviour “on target” and thus better able to achieve his/her goals. Here are some guidelines: 1. Don’t feel a need to defend, remember, it is only the other person’s - Ask questions to encourage the person giving feedback to be more specific e.g. “What am I doing when you say I appear disinterested?” - Apart from that, accept the feedback without a great deal of response. - Silently reflect on the quality and value of the feedback in helping you achieve your development goals. Always say, “thank you” to the person giving feedback. It takes courage to drop the facade and take the risk. Notes: 2. perception. Feedback is more useful when it: Responds to information asked by the receiver. e.g. Would you please comment on the following aspects of my performance..........? - Describes behaviour rather than labelling it. e.g. Don’t say: “Your were timid or uncertain”, it is more effective to say, “You speak too softly”, or “You looked away when making important points” - Is specific, not general. Instead of saying, “Your eye contact was good”, say “Your eye contact was obvious and not too intense, I felt you involved me”. - It is well timed. Feedback is generally most useful when it is given as soon as possible after the event. Considers the needs of both the sender and the receiver. This will avoid destructive feedback. Build on strengths. 3. Feedback about Improvement: - give this Feedback first. Contemporary Workplace Communications ©Rosita Guy Associates 11 4. 5. 6. - Knowing the improvement feedback is to follow can make positive feedback difficult to hear. - Given last, the positive feedback has a tendency to heal. Improvement Feedback could begin: - “I have some worries about ......................................................................” - “I wasn’t too impressed with ....................................................................” - I have some difficulty understanding why you ...........................................” Positive Feedback could begin: - “I like the way you ...................................................................................” - .................................................................................................................. Receiving Feedback: - “I think you are right Jayne” - “Thank you”. - “You are right. Maybe I should have .........................................................” - “That is not the way I see it. I did that because ...........................................” Contemporary Workplace Communications ©Rosita Guy Associates 12 Technology used in Workplace Communication There are many forms of communication used in workplaces today where technology is a major proponent. Give examples of the situations when appropriate/ not appropriate to use in communicating with work colleagues or clients. Type of Communication Appropriate Usage Telephone Voice Mail Email Conference Call Skype Facebook Twitter Texting Contemporary Workplace Communications ©Rosita Guy Associates Inappropriate Usage 13 SELF ANALYSIS 1. In which situation do you feel the most comfortable communicating? Yes No Sometimes Yes No Sometimes Yes No Sometimes Yes No Sometimes With just one person With a group of people When giving a formal presentation When writing 2. How skilful are you as a communicator? Do you have trouble with pronunciation? Does grammar present a problem? Are you often at a loss for words because of self-consciousness? Can you use non-verbal communication such as facial expressions, gestures posture etc? Can you read others body language? 3. How does your personality affect communication? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Are you uncomfortable asking questions? Do you use humour effectively? Are you a domineering person who tries to control the situation? Are you a submissive person who tikes to agree with others? Are you a patient listener? Do you talk more than listen? Do you value relationships more than productivity? 4. How much power is there in your position in the organisation? Can you make demands of others? Do you have to persuade others? Contemporary Workplace Communications ©Rosita Guy Associates 14 Do people generally respect your position? 5. What are your greatest areas of knowledge? Yes Do you have a lot of technical knowledge? Do you rely on others technical knowledge? Do you use a lot of technical jargon? If You are not an SELF ANALYSIS Agent of Change you are at best a steward of something which is going to erode and why would you want a job or a life if all you are going to do is perpetuate what existed previously? Stephen Friedman Contemporary Workplace Communications ©Rosita Guy Associates No Sometimes