Gail Sheehy says that life can be separated into several stages such as trying out twenties, turbulent thirties, flourishing forties, flaming fifties and serene sixties. However, these theories ignore individual’s difference. We have different experiences, races, cultures, educational background, religion and economic background. Therefore, our lives cannot fit into her stages.
I am thirty two years old and spent my twenties hoping to recover from my illness. I suffered from severe anemia and could not go to school. I looked forward to going to school again like my friends. Finally, I got well again at the end of my twenties. From the theory of stages in life of Gail Sheehy, how can it explain my twenties. Some people have illnesses or other people are born with it. And they cannot live like healthy people and everything that healthy people take for granted is precious to them.
Likewise, some people cannot be trying out twenties by circumstances that they do not ask for.
Or there are some people who are so affluent that they don’t have to struggle to live. I have ever watched a documentary on TV. It was about extravagant young generation. They only make friends who have same economic background and have meetings in some places where other economically inferior people cannot access at all. They only wear designer clothes and spend a lot of money on shopping. And they go to restaurants and have course meals that cost a weekly salary of average people. They also do not know anything out of their world. When a reporter asked them about their plan for near future, they said they did not have to think about it because they would get

tremendous legacy from rich parents. Thus, it is certain that everyone does not need to be trying out twenties as he or she has no motivation to plan for future.
What is more, different cultures is an important key that varies our life. Through centries, especially,women’s lives have been influenced directly according to various historical circumstances. They molded cultures that made women’s lives stuck in certain situation and that situation occurred to most contemporary women. For example, my aunt was born in 1930s and got married to a man without at least meeting together first. And she had to do hard labor in a farmland and gave a birth to a child before twenty. When I asked her weather she ever thought of doing other things when she was twenties, she just scoffed at my comment and said while working from morning to night, there was no time to think about that. What is more, she was educated by traditional
Korean culture. The center of Asian culture especially for woman was that ideal woman has to take care of children well and has to be obedient wife. Therefore, she never thought of trying other things outside. And there was severe famine after Korean war so that trying out was considered unrealistic. Accordingly, cultures and historical background considerably affect our lives.
Religion is one of most powerful motivation that let average people change themselves and others. In middle ages in Europe, the pope stirred a crusade and killed numerous people. This could happen because there were blind believers. It has been repeated even in morden times as a different aspect. For instance, there are some countries controlled by religion. In those countries, it is unimaginable for anyone to do something out of religious codes. They have certain rules and force people to follow them absolutely.

I once watched a movie about an American woman who got married to Iranian man. It was based on true story. The woman fell in love with Iranian man and lived in Iran after marriage. Soon, she realized that she could not accept Islam as her new religion, so it was hard to live on. After all, she escaped from husband and suceeded ro go to Jordan with her daughter. In this case, she was not born in that country and was not educated by that religion, so she could not be accustomed with it. Nevertheless, there are many people who suffer from illogical religious conducts. And they cannot think about other world except for their religious life. Some girls have to marry before twenty by religious regulation as one of cucumbines of twenty year older man than them. Maybe they have only one stage in life: obedience until they die. Gail Sheehy was educated by christian culturewas and raised by affluent Caucasian family. And she was taught liberalism that you should not discriminate people by religion. Therefore, the world out of christianitydominat western is a foreign languge to her so she did not consider other people who live in opposite side of earth managed by religion.
Gail Sheehy says that there is no ever lasting love. “It is likely that we will share these three lives with different partners or journey through one or more of them alone.”
(Sheehy:9) She recommends us to marry three times according to different stages.
However, there are many people who live with one partner more than 40years. They say even though they know each other’s shortcomings and sometimes feel annoyed by them, they can’t help falling in love. And love lasts until they departs. For instance, a legendary singer, Jerry Lee Lewis has been married to one woman for fifty years. She was one of his fans and she was only fifteen when they first met. They fell in love and

had to face a lot of objections from her family and other people. They thought she was so young and he was so old reletively that there would be generation gap soon. According to
Gail Sheehy, their stages were so different that their relationship would never work. When young woman is going through turbulent thirties and then flourishing forties, the old man will be serene sixties by her theory. But they did not break up. Rather they got married and have been together until now. There must have been conflicts between them but there must have been stronger love that conquered every problem.
Gail Sheehy thinks that when you get to sixties, you become serene and reestablish relationship with family and friends. It means that as you are getting older, you become more generous and kinder. But that does not apply to everyone in sixties. Some seniors are obstinate and even rude to young people. I would meet those kind of elderly when I was in Korea. I was taught a lot from parents and school that I have to respect seniors and do something for them such as yielding seats to them in bus. It is very considerable idea to do that but some seniors used to take the seat pushing away other people, especially children. Whenever I faced that situation, I felt embarrassed and felt sorry to that child. And my grandmother used to force me to massage her leg for more than one hour when I was only six years old. I love my grandmother but I could not understand when she took advantages of her age. Everything is permissible but everything is not acceptable. What is more, my grandmother used to stir a fight between my father and uncles. Whenever the whole family met together on special day, she said which son gave her allowance the most and asked for more money in spite of having full.

My grandmother did not reestablish her relationship. Rather, she became bolder and arrogant because she was the head of the family and she thought she could use her position. Also, Gandi, a peaceful activist when India was occupied by Great
Britains, used to sleep with many beautiful, young women every night when he got older. He was a celibacy when he was young. But at the time of being more prudent and thoughtful, He was building unhealthy relationships. Likewise, it is not necessarily true that one becomes generous and rebuilds connection with others when one becomes old.
I felt humiliated when I found out I was not trying out twenties according to Gail
Sheehy. And I am supposed to be turbulent thirties according to her theories. But I am in the stage of extended adolescence by them. “30year old men still live at home with mom.” (Sheehy:1) Even though I am enjoying late adolescence unintentionally, I felt like I am not a good person because I had not fully accomplished what Gail Sheehy said. I just started to learn things and there are many things that I even have not tried. And I remember when I asked my aunt about her life and what her dream was, she was embarrassed because my questions made her feel like she had not done anything. Likewise, her theories about stages in life might be perfect to very successful women and men, but some people like me and my aunt feel humiliated.
However, there is something that I like about her theories. There is hope for people like me because there is Second Adulthood ahead according to Gail Sheehy when I pass the provisional adulthood. These days, many young people become stars even before twenties. And they make me feel like I have done nothing until now. But I have potential to make my way according to Gail Sheehy.

On the whole, since the moment of birth into this world, we have been influenced by numerous factors such as cultures, religions, economic elements and even regionally different background. And those things make individuals different from others and they just live their own stages. Some people face trying out twenties late in their thirties or other people face flourishing forties in their fifties. And some people could not even try anything because of barriers that restrict their lives in the name of religion, and obsolete values. Consequently, we cannot fit into stages in life