Holidays in Arizona 2008
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Arizona, November - December 2008
By Dennis Kenney
Email:kenneydennis@hotmail.com
© December 2008 Dennis Kenney
Arizona State University – Tempe, Arizona
My memories of Mill Avenue in Tempe are selective. It is always sunny and the girls all
wear shorts. Today it is chilly and overcast with no shorts in sight. The Super 80s and
B737s still fly over the Sun Devils Stadium. The world has changed with the Borg on
their cellulars ignoring the unassimilated. My best memory is drinking Coors and eating
Buffalo wings with my youngest son Sean at Hooter’s. Sean was underage and therefore
my designated driver. The quid pro quo was that I had to endure a jazz session down in
the basement. The dungeon is a piano bar now. I had dated a coed at Palo Verdes when I
was stationed at Williams AFB in Chandler 40 (Jeeesus!) years ago.
I met a civil engineering student wearing a Red Sox baseball cap who is from Salem,
Massachusetts while sitting outside of the ASU Global Institute for Sustainability. He had
the same last name as one of high school teachers, Leon Strout. If I were Paul Erdman I’d
be describing a Chateau Briand with baby carrots and a made from scratch mayonnaise,
instead of beans and chicken at Pollo Loco. I ate twice at the Memorial Union and the
food sucks so bad that I went to Subway, where at least the quality is consistent. Obesity
has hit this campus as well as the ones I’ve visited in the last year. Time to go to the
Hayden Library to check my email and do a little editing. Are the girls at the University
of Arizona in Tucson prettier? Who says, “There is no Arizona?”
Deer Valley Airport – North Phoenix, Arizona
This slab of asphalt is sort of my home airport even though I have never flown out of here
as a pilot; maybe it’s because of my stints at Honeywell Flight Controls or my familiarity
with the restaurants and bars in the area. The Valley of the Sun is warm and sunny and
the airport used to be the end of Phoenix. Now the city sprawls out past Happy Valley
Road. Yesterday I had my Thanksgiving turkey dinner at the Deer Valley Airport. Last
year I ate my turkey at a truck stop outside of New Orleans. The turkey was a pot roast in
the Cajun style. Several years I’ve had my bird at a Denny’s. I expect that we all have
things to be thankful for as I watch the arrivals and departures from the airport restaurant.
While high-winged Cessnas dominate the general aviation light aircraft, an evolutionary
dead end as far as scaling up in size goes except for the amphibians. There are a few
corporate jets and military transports on the south side of the runways.
I’ve been hanging around the airport terminal long enough that I’ve been invited to sit at
the main table by the window that looks out on the runway. I even worked as a volunteer
at the Annual Cactus Fly-in. Vic is from Jersey and Jim is the token Democrat that dared
to come out. Like all good McCain Republicans (most are from outside of Arizona) they
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are despondent about the last presidential election. Vic says that he can’t understand how
Obama won – he doesn’t know anybody that voted for him. I look around the table like a
man that’s farted bombastically in church and is trying to increase the circle of suspects. I
know at least two people at the table that voted for Obama.
Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (MRO)
The MRO got to Mars in March of 2006 and after five months of aero braking started
imaging Mars with its HiRISE camera. The camera helped to select the landing site for
the Phoenix lander. Eric, a staff member on the HiRISE camera showed me some
anaglyphs (3D photos) that they were going to be released to the public. A manned rover
isn’t going to get far exploring this terrain.
U of A edges out UCLA, BU and ASU if I judge the campuses by the pulchritude of their
coeds. The military academies, MIT and Caltech? Forget it.
UA Flandau Observatory
Dan is one of the volunteers at the observatory. Four students in astronomy came by for
their orientation and signature for deep sky objects. The half moon, Pleiades, and Rigel
and Betelgeuse (once Orion rose above the campus buildings) and the Orion Nebula
(once it was above an obstructive tree). The sky became crystal clear after the public left.
This is probably the best that I have seen the Orion Nebula. I’m still trying to get into the
Steward Mirror Lab.
Organ Pipe National Monument
I spent two nights at Organ Pipe trying to see Orion’s sword. I think that I saw the four
stars on the third night when I’d moved to the primitive Alamo Canyon campsite. The
seeing at Organ Pipe isn’t as good as with higher, drier sites but the moon is small and
comes up late. I’m wasting my time since I give up easily when my feet get cold. My
previous excuse for quitting was that I lost my night vision when I looked at my star
charts. I bought a $35 dollar flashlight in Tucson that is far from satisfactory. I just want
a flat-focused red light and not a bright spot in the middle. I don’t need variable
brightness and I certainly don’t need the blue light. I have two more nights at the Alamo
Canyon campsite before returning to the Eloy airport for the Holiday Boogie. I’ve learned
my lesson for stargazing and will only go to the low sites during the warmer months and
moonless nights. I really like Organ Pipe and enjoy its proximity to the nice border town
of Sonoyta. (The American border inspector that I talked to about the distance that I’d
have to walk to get to El Centro said that there wasn’t anything in the town.) I'll go to
Rocky Point or Chijuajua as soon as I sort out buying Mexican automotive insurance
(cheaply). The first Conquistadores came with a sword and a cross; the last came with
plastic bags and bottles of water (la reconquista).
Sonoyta, Sonora
Sonoyta is a town of 50,000 inhabitants and is the a border town on Ruta Dos on highway
8 to Rocky Point on the Gulf of California. I got a haircut and several grilled chicken
comidas. My Spanish has atrophied since I lived in Monterey, Mexico forty years ago. I
understood No trabajo aqui when I tried to find out where to pay for my tripitias at a
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sidewalk café. My coffee cost a third of what it would cost across the frontera and had
real cream. There were a few drug related murders of drug enforcement officers a few
weeks ago but this isn’t the drug war zones of Tijuana, Juarez or Neuvo Loredo.
Lukeville, Arizona – El Bandito of Gringo Pass Inc.
Gringo Pass, Lukeville, is on the street where Route 85 goes to the Mexican border and
becomes Ruta 8 in Mexico. It is the only street in town. The custom stations on both sides
of the border are closed from midnight until six am. There’s a motel and RV park, a gas
station, and a small mall with a grocery store, restaurant and the usual offices selling
Mexican automobile insurance. The town is just one large parking lot which is run for
Gringo Pass, Inc. by the cashier at the garage. I used to shop at the grocery store and eat
at the restaurant when I camped at Organ Pipe National Monument. This morning the
cashier took a break from charging people a premier rate for gasoline and drove the fire
department pickup truck over to a full size pickup with Arizona plates. I’ll never forget
the expression on the face of the clerk from the garage while he attached a 50-gallon
drum to the front wheel of the pickup. I’m not an expert in the nuances of Mexican facial
expressions but it was chilling. There is, of course, no overnight parking but the unstated
fee for daytime parking was $10 a day. The posted maximum fees for violations were
$125 for office hour towing or $150 for night time towing. There is also an assorted fee
schedule for paperwork, storage and gate fees which would make any Boston tow service
proud. There is no other parking area in Lukeville. This setup makes the mordida of
Mexico and the speed traps of Nevada look embarrassingly fair. It seems that the gringos
pay about three times as much for Mexican automotive liability in Mexico as the
Mexicans pay for comparable insurance in the USA.
Yes, you say, this is America and a person can do whatever he wants to do with his
property, even in a public area. If you don’t like it then go somewhere else. That’s fine if
there’s alternates but there is no street parking or even streets in Lukeville. I’ll buy by
groceries, gas, breakfast and lunch in Ajo from now on when I’m camping at Organ Pipe
NM. I won’t walk over to Sonoyta today to buy my lunch and visit the stores because I
don’t want to pay the $10 parking fee or pay $25 to get Mexican automotive insurance
for my truck. I’ll just drive up to Ajo and spend my money there today and in the future.
So now I’m in the Ajo Plaza parking for nothing. The nice women at the library are
signing me in for my second computer session of the day. I suppose that I could go back
to Lukeville where that greedy, hungry Mexican enforces Gringo Pass Inc.’s parking
ordnances with the town’s (?) fire pickup.
Eloy Holiday Boogie 2008, 24 December - 4 January
Eloy, Arizona is the largest skydiving location in the world, a Mecca for the world's best
skydivers. The jumps are from 13,000 feet, the result of the requirement for supplemental
oxygen at greater altitudes. Jumps from the hot air balloons are lower and there were
jumps from a Beech, Cessnas and the DC-3 as well as the work horse Twin Otters and
Sky Vans. Eloy's 14-foot 2-inch wind tunnel is smaller than the 16-foot indoor skydiving
machine in North Carolina. The regulars return every year to the Holiday Boogie, much
Holidays in Arizona 2008
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as aviation buffs especially experimental aircraft builders and pilots return to AirVenture
Oshkosh, for the camaraderie of the brother(sister)hood.
Willy Nelson is sitting at the end of the bar surrounded by half of the girls in the saloon
as I watch the jumpers in the wind tunnel on the monitor which is alternately live or from
a video recorder. There are two TV screens and a monitor that allows the waitresses to
check in on their customers outside on the porch. I passed on the thought (brain fart) to
the jumper to the right of me at the bar that the video camera would allow somebody to
moon the whole bar from the porch. Two minutes later I observed a skinny white butt
winking at me from the porch. The butt was on the other side of the porch drinkers in a
position which allowed the mooning of the people on the porch as well as the video
viewers inside the bar.
Events like the Holiday Boogie and good weather allow a newbie to acquire a lifetime of
experience in months or a year. Just like in flying, frequent learning experiences snowball
your level of proficiency compared to casual flying, jumping or sailing. The integration
of training in the wind tunnel with skydiving also has a multiplier effect.
Santa Claus drove a trike motorcycle made from a John Deere tractor through the parking
lot but I didn’t get a new jump suit since I’ve been naughty. I meet a nice couple in the
Bent Prop Saloon & Cookery and confided in them that I was buying a draft to get a
souvenir beer glass. The man commented, “We lose a lot of glasses each year.” I, of
course, was talking to Larry Hill, the owner, and his wife Lille. Larry flew the New Year
midnight jump of twenty sky jumpers and twenty-three observers through a moonless sky
complete with a low altitude pass of the drop zone and beer tent. We serially celebrated
New Year in Moscow, Germany France, England, New York, Minneapolis and finally
Eloy. I went to bed before New Year hit California or Hawaii.
Chris – Redneck from the North Country Fair (Alberta)
Chris is a machinist with over 2100 jumps over twenty years in his log book. He insists
that he is not a sky god – not in Eloy where the best in the world are strolling in and out
of the bar. Chris’ favorite t-shirt depicts the Grim Reaper complete with scythe with the
caption Pin check, anyone? He tried to talk me into buying some time in the wind tunnel
which will buy my way into the international jumping fraternity. Maybe next year.
The Last Jump of 2008 – Eloy, Arizona
The music rocked and the dancers danced. As the final heartbeats of 2008 ticked away
and the champagne was being poured Jerry Hill lifted off in his DC-3 from the Eloy
airport into the moonless sky with 20 skydivers and 23 spectators on board. Four vehicles
lit the drop zone with their headlights as we watched the running lights of the Gooney
Bird as it climbed to altitude. We finally saw the lights and strobes of the descending
skydivers. They came in, one by one, to the cheers and encouragement of the rowdy
spectators. Larry circled and made a low altitude pass over the beer tent before landing.
The European jumpers on site had celebrated New Year’s Eve with their compatriots at
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home, one time zone at a time. This was also the first jump of 2009. I didn’t stay up to
celebrate New Year’s Eve with my friends in California.
When I returned two weeks into the new year to the drop zone the solitary egret was
gone, replaced by a cat. The Canadians are enjoying their own boogie.
Danica (Patrick) – Crossing the Line
with Laura Morton. Danica describes her life up to the end of 2005 when she was Rookie
Indy Driver of the Year and got married. The photographs make this book worth reading
and I may buy her 2009 calendar. D's website is DanicaRacing.com and if you want to
see more than the family album look at the 44 photos on
SportsIllustrated.com/features/2008_swimsuit/danica-patrick/. Dale, Jr. doesn't look half
as good.
I see Danica’s image smiling at me almost every time I visit my ISP’s website. Danica is
more than photogenic – her videos are amazing reminding me of the comedy
performances of Mae West and Jane Russell. That said, the autobiography is a fluff job
and a more nuanced book will have to be unauthorized. There’s a very interesting story
here (Google the web) but it’s not in Crossing the Line. A lot of the philosophical
reflection is probably due to the ghost writer.
Another Memorial Day has gone by and Danika finished 3rd at Indy. 4th, 3rd, … !
Casa Grande Municipal Airport
We are having a sit-in and occupation of the airport building to protest the anticipated
removal of the coffee service in the airport lobby. Protest hours and bullshit sessions are
from 9 to 2 daily. Saturday, the third day of the new year some of the protesters showed
up for the pancake fly-in at Collidge. We thought that the Hummel was a large-scale RCcontrolled model until the pilot jumped out. The Eloy Gooney Bird flew over in
formation with two T-34s and the pilots landed for some pancakes. There’s a powered
parachutist fly-in in Casa Grande in February.
I showed the morning group Danica Patrick's autobiography where she stated that she has
to be able to fight 5 Gs in her race car. The consensus was that this was completely out of
line. Dennis from Canada brought in a page from Wiki stating that some notorious turns
subjected the drivers of Formula I cars to even higher Gs. A former Formula I driver at
Au Bon Pain at Kendall Station said that engine braking can subject drivers to 4 eyeballsout Gs. No wonder the drivers always look like they’re crying.
51st Annual Casa Grande Cactus Fly-in – 6, 7 March 2009
The annual fly-in of classic and antique aircraft as well as replicas, home builds and
warbirds at the Casa Grande Municipal Airport is over. The weather was outstanding and
Holidays in Arizona 2008
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I headed east after attending the banquet. I sat with a couple from Albuquerque. The
husband had beat former astronaut Frank Borman’s P-51 with his L-5 at a fly-in. I
commented that Frank had been president at Eastern Airlines and the man responded that
Frank wasn’t responsible for the irresponsible union demands that pushed the company
into bankruptcy. I said that employees shouldn’t have to make up for deficiencies in
management and the finance people. He said that he agreed to disagree and that was the
end of the conversation (for the rest of the night).
Look Good Naked
I started training again. If I’m going to do skydiving, flying and cave exploring I’ll have
to get back my boyish figure. I’m told that in Denver that you have to sprint a quarter of a
mile carrying a motorized backpack to become airborne. Maybe I should start my buttpropping at the negative altitudes of the Salton Sea.
Twilight – the Movie
We learn in this latest vampire movie that love can control a vampire’s lust for blood and
that vegan vampires just want to be accepted into society. A teenage girl’s infatuation
with a vampire who’s been seventeen for quite a while is well done until we enter the
Bollywood world of vampires (minus the music and beautiful dancers) flying from
treetop to treetop. Scarier yet is the luring of predator vampires from the rain forests of
Oregon to Phoenix.
Bob Woodward – State of Denial, Bush at War III
The third Woodward book in the series Bush at War starts with the events before 9/11,
most importantly the selection of Bush the younger's cabinet and other administration
personnel. Rumsfeld and the Neocon think tanks are examined as are military politics.
Military officers felt that the members of the administration and civilian DoD had never
even been in a barroom brawl. The after war, after Mission Accomplished, turned into a
fiasco which has been dumped on the president-elect’s lap.
There are thousands of details of the war in Iraq in Woodward’s books on Bush II but
hardly a mention of the two big gorillas in the tent – Israel and Big Oil.
Where has time gone?
Where is time’s place?
From the Druid to the Casa Grande Ruins
I’m infused with the legends of the Druids from drinking at the Druid at Inman Square in
Cambridge, Massachusetts but know that the present Druid rituals at Stonehenge are just
figments of Irish fantasy after reading Stonehenge Decoded. Stonehenge predates
Druidism and UCSD has trilithons and even quadlithons. Just the same I have to return to
the Casa Grande Ruins (my friend the Great Bear at Chaco Canyon will spank my hand
for saying ruins) to verify the claims for astronomical orientations of the structures. I’ll
have to sort out the lunar machinations first before I tackle the planets and constellations.
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Star Trek – the Exhibition
It costs me $20 to go to the exhibition which was in the words of another visitor
“spendy”. That said I enjoyed the costumes and models. One of the museum guides told
me that in his expert opinion the Klingon uniform was the best costume for a Trekkie
convention.
Urban Javelinas
An Austrian is suing the Arizona Natural Museum because of injuries that he incurred
while trying to pet a javelina on museum property. I’m still getting over the string of
javelinas that I saw on a hiking trail in the Big Bend National Park (The closest tree was
two miles away). Wild domestic pigs and pigs crossbreed with wild species are hunted
throughout the Southeast.
Dateland, Arizona – Obama’s Day 2009
I’ve been craving a date milk shake for decades since my last trip to Dateland. The flavor
of the milk shake was intense and rich with real vanilla ice cream. I was salivating with
anticipation as I turned off of Interstate 8 on the Dateland exit. The old restaurant was
gone so I followed the signs to a new gift shop and went inside. I asked the woman
functioning as a soda jerk if they still used real ice cream; she said, “We use non-fat ice
cream.” Another woman, probably an employee, said that you take what you can get in
Dateland. I hoped that she was referring to the local female population and bought a
shake anyway. It wasn’t as good as I remembered.
I know that I wasn’t as good then as I remember I was now. I was spitting out date skins
and the date flavor wasn’t as good as I remember. Well, I’ve got that out of my system
and I don’t have to return to Dateland anymore. I’ll get my dates at Wal-Mart and they’ll
be just as good and a lot cheaper. I feel twice as dusty and just as loose.
Hope 2008
Obama’s honeymoon started today. Sarah is back in Alaska. My friends in the Red states
have described me as a liberal humanist socialist. My thoughts keep returning to t he last
time that I went through basic training. Our company commander was a young,
handsome Afro-American ( I hate that word). Drugs were everywhere and the mess halls
fed us crap because the (black) sergeants were raiding the good food. They even forced
us to go to the bad mess hall to keep the mess count up instead of a more convenient
uncorrupted mess hall.
Since I was thirty one and more experienced than most of the recruits I managed to keep
my head down and go with the flow. I’m not saying that I didn’t butt heads with some of
our black brothers. One boasted that he was going to pulverize me in the pugil stick
training. He had his chance but if I’d have been five years younger when I was in great
shape I’d have pulverized the little punk. The dorm was locked down after an incident
involving drugs and the (white) recruit put in charge had been caught with drugs. This
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was our army and the people that I’d have depended on if I had been unfortunate enough
to be sent to Nam as my brother was.
Author Info
Dennis Kenney is the author of Star of Fire, an alternate history of the exploration of
Mars. The novel can be freely downloaded for non-commercial use at StarOfFire.com.
The Word version of the paperback has the latest revisions. My vanity Website is
DennisKenney.com. I’ve been to the Land of Fruits and Nuts and now I’m heading east
through very marginal weather. I just went through Groom, Texas which boosts of having
the largest cross in the western hemisphere. Can you imagine the size of the Texan that
can be crucified on that cross? I need to get my truck inspected in April, something that I
face with the same trepidation that I used to face April 15th.