THE MANY FACETS OF INTIMACY
One challenge for people may be to expand the concept of intimacy beyond the stereotype that our primary
expression or experience of love or closeness is emotional or sexual. There are more possibilities for connecting
intimately with others. The many facets of intimacy are offered to support our journey as humans to reach the
fullness of our humanity and to fulfill the rich potential in all our relationships. You may find this list refreshing in
the face of how the media stereotypes men and women into shallow relationships as portrayed on television, and
in movies and consumer ads.
1. AESTHETIC Intimacy (sharing experiences of beauty)
2. COMMITMENT Intimacy (mutually derived from common self-investment)
3. COMMUNICATION Intimacy (talking and sharing, the source of all types of true intimacy)
4. CONFLICT Intimacy (facing and struggling with differences)
5. CREATIVE Intimacy (sharing acts of creating together)
6. CRISIS Intimacy (closeness in coping with problems and pain)
7. EMOTIONAL Intimacy (being tuned to each other's wavelength)
8. INTELLECTUAL Intimacy (closeness in the world of ideas)
9. SEXUAL Intimacy (erotic or orgasmic closeness)
10. SPIRITUAL Intimacy (the we-ness in sharing the meaning of life)
11. RECREATIONAL Intimacy (relating in the experiences of fun and play)
12. WORK Intimacy (the closeness of sharing common tasks)
DISCUSSION STARTERS:
Each facet of intimacy contains an invitation to explore a richer depth of relating.
Q. What combination of intimacies are important for a parent-child relationship to be healthy?
Q. What ways of sharing are important when dealing with others in the workplace? Co-workers, boss, clients,
etc.?
Q. What are the intimacies that are needed to nurture strong friendships?
Q. What facets of intimacy are necessary for a marriage or life-long partnership to thrive? Why?
The Next Step: What facets of intimacy are you now celebrating? Which new ways do you want to explore? Who
would you like to share this list with?
CELEBRATE THE FOUR KINDS OF LOVE
STORGE: love between parents their children
PHILIA: love of friends and family
AGAPE: self giving love, altruistic compassion and charity
EROS: self taking love caused by desire and passion for another.
Love grows from intimate experiences. There are many ways we can talk about love and many things
about love that can be summed up in a word. These two lists may help you sort out what love is or isn't.
We learn much about ourselves with another as we explore IN – TOO – ME – SEE with others.
© 2005 All Rights Reserved Peter Davison Innerwealth Seminars
Credit and Reproduce Freely for Educational Use.
Speak: (902) 492-4104 Fax: (902) 422-1922 Write: Peter@PeterDavison.ca Visit: www.PeterDavison.ca
Intimacy Relationships Awareness Activity
Instructions: List all the people in your life that you share the following intimacies with.
If you include yourself then list how or when you share this intimacy.
1. I share AESTHETIC Intimacy with:
2. I share COMMITMENT Intimacy with:
3. I share COMMUNICATION Intimacy with:
4. I share CONFLICT Intimacy with:
5. I share CREATIVE Intimacy with:
6. I share CRISIS Intimacy with:
7. I share EMOTIONAL Intimacy with:
8. I share INTELLECTUAL Intimacy with:
9. I share SEXUAL Intimacy with:
10. I share SPIRITUAL Intimacy with:
11. I share RECREATIONAL Intimacy with:
12. I share WORK Intimacy with:
Love Is...
Love Isn't...
Responsibility
Hard Work
Pleasure
Commitment
Sex
Respecting "no"
Caring
Sharing
Trust
Communication
Honesty
Compromise
Interdependency
Asserting yourself
Vulnerability
Respect
Friendship
Strong Feelings
Acceptance
Openness
Empathy
Blaming
Possessiveness
Pain
Violence
Sex
Ignoring "No"
Intimidation
Getting Pregnant
Fear
Lying
Controlling
Dependency
Giving up yourself
Intimidation
Scoring
Proving Yourself
Manipulation
Expecting all your needs
to be met
Obsession
Jealously
People in Healthy Relationships...
● Spend time together and time apart
● Trust each other
● Respect their mutual choices and
differences
● Are sensitive to each others feelings
● Are friends
● Communicate their feelings honesty
and openly
● Grow closer when they explore the
many facets of intimacy together
© 2005 Courtesy of Peter Davison Innerwealth Seminars
Credit and Reproduce Freely for Educational Use.
Speak: (902) 492-4104 Write: peter@PeterDavison.ca Visit: www.PeterDavison.ca