Ze Trash
©®
Zee Official Organ of ze
Sans Clue Hash House Harriers
Sunday 18th of May 2003
Issue #512
New coloured edition
early in order to prepare the run and to go market shopping.
The Sans Clue Hash meets EVERY Sunday at
Garches SNCF station car park at 14h00. From
Paris catch the 13h37 train from Gare Paris-StLazare, direction St.-Nom-la-Bretèche, usually
platform 1. Get off at Garches Marnes-la-Coquette.
Early arrivals – follow road up past shops, bends
round to right, drink beer in Chinese pub.
HARELINE
511
11-may-03
Orange Slip
512
18-may-03
Pocket Billiards & Yehina
513
25-may-03
514
1-June-03
Make Me An Offer
& Yua Haw
“Omo & Sparky
On-after. See details below
HARES NEEDED
515
8-juin-03
516
15-juin-03
We had wonderful local French cheese and seasonal fruits.
Very short down down session as we were all very hungry after
such a long run (2 hours) !
Down-Downs
Orange Slip (Ze “Air. Ed.)
Newcomer
Isabel invited by Martin (or Made To Come? Ed.)
David invited by Martin
Jos (Jocelyne)invited by Martin
Returnee: Sparky – Rich Beach
Talkative people speaking about parties
Omo’’ party on June 1st at his place
Perfection : Being on time
Beautiful day
Imperfectiveness : Flat cheasted Jos
BB onon
Anal Condom & Cati
Easy Rider & Jumping Jackass
517
22-juin-03
Victoria's Secret
518
29-juin-03
519
6-juil-03
520
13-juil-03
Gonzo the Gob, McGoose &
MaBouche- Scottish Run
HARES NEEDED
Bastille Day!
ZE RUN REPORT
Run report n° 511
Hare Orange Slip
Date 11th of May 2003
Where : Seine (or Celle? Ed.) Saint Cloud
Attendance around 16 hashers
Wonderful trail in a sunny and beautifull day .
What did we think of the run? It was a long and enjoyable
run in sunny woods. Thank you to Orange slip who got up
ANNOUNCEMENTS
 Hear ye Hear ye Hear ye
A date to remember!
1st of June 2003: On-After @ Elaine & Omo’s (13, rue Rivay;
Levallois)
It could be Sparky’s farewell party as well. Things will get clearer
later. But date OK.
Anywayz, please give Omo a ring or e-mail him ‘cause his sweet
half needs to know how many pies to cook and how many barrels
of Holy Amber to order.
p.viallefont@wanadoo.fr

From Francis Geere geerebox2001@yahoo.co.uk
OK Guys
Please note that the third Two Valleys weekend will be held here at Nanssous-Ste.Anne in wildest Franche-Comte from 3-5 October.
Look forward to a good turn out. I have posted it on gthhh with the
promise of details later. Hope to see you
On On
Francis 'Reverse' Geere
1

Dear Harriers and Harriettes,
As you know St Petersburg is celebrating its 300th birthday
in a few days. Well the St Petersburg HHH doesn’t actually
care about that! We will like any other year celebrate our
own birthday this summer (we can’t count so we could not
tell you how many this is…)
We will be taking off for a three days of debauchery,
Russian style, from the 18th until the 20th July 2003.
It’s a great opportunity to discover a beautiful place,
with beautiful girls (we really can’t say about the
boys…!), cheap beers and lifted spirits, and the event is
dirt cheap.
Believe me IT has it all! We would enjoy if you took part
in what is promising to be an ultimate Hashing experience,
and a good warm up for Cardiff.
Those who are interested, please take a look at the hash
presentation we have made (sorry we had to rid it of the
beautiful pictures, but it was too large (it’s never too large in our
opinion…)) or go to our web-shite at www.h3.spb.ru
All others, just bugger off!!!
We hope to hear from you soon,
Hash Cash, Silent But Deadly (fiona.may@dhl.com)
Hash Market Ring, Hairy Poppins
(fgnonnenmacher@hotmail.com)
Ze Programme
•18.07.03 - depart St Petersburg for a cruise to the
Valaam Island on Lake Ladoga.
•19.07.03 - arrive Valaam, hash, swim, sunbathe, drink
beer, see the Monks.
•20.07.03 - arrive St Petersburg for BBQ Brunch and
Hangover Run.
So how much????$$$150
So get on board for Valaam with St Petersburg HHH 18th
-20th July 2003!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Be aware you need a visa to come to Russia and I am sure we
can help you…if you are blonde, pretty, rich, have loads of
younger sisters….
 Dear Sans Clue, Paris and Buenos Aires Hash,
Find in the message below the link for the Costa Rica
InterAmerica's Hash for May 2003
(www.interam2003.com) in case someone would like to
attend. Cheers, Gabriela (aka Simply Red)
Mario_González_Román <frog_mario@hotmail.com>
wrote:
To appreciate this message, please turn your volume up.
We remind you that we'll meet Wednesday nights until
the British Embassy Cactus Club reopens at the Tandem
Club, just behind the Bristol Hotel at 8:00 pm. Quietly see
you Friday nights -members only- at the Canadian
Embassy Northern Lights Club after 7:00 pm. Mark your
calendars for May 17 at 14:30 hours at the Insurgentes
Freedom restaurant for an all-inclusive run and event
hared by Hand Job and Sasquash. Our yearly famous, funfilled Super Heroes run. Last call for those going to Costa
Rica InterAmerica's Hash during the period of May 23-26.
Visit www.interam2003.com Be happy. This year we
celebrate the first 20 years of our existence. This is the
Mexico City Hash House Harriers ... ON!! ON!!

Did you know that there’s a hash in
TOULOUSE?
They are 8runs old now, 2nd and 4th Sundays. Details about the
run and Toulouse Hash can be found at www.toulousehash.com.
 4th - 6th July 2003 - HOORAY HENLEY HASH
HHHi One and All,
Just to let you know, we are rowing again this year,
Unlike any other hash in the world, you will need your best party
frock, men ties only allowed!!... This is a very P.O.S.H. Hash.
Last year we nearly went under as
it was very popular, with last minute registrants, please
book early this year, as I don't like turning people away,
and we can really only cope with just over the 100.
my contact tel. no. is 01491 681540...
ON - ON
GBH gbh1@btinternet.com for registration form & further details
 Dalmatia Cruise, Saturday 21st June 2003 (13:00-ish)
toSaturday 28th June 2003 (09:00-ish)Organised by Zagreb
H3Details from hashcruise@btopenworld.com Hash
CruiseUpdates/ Itinerary via:
http://xjh3.tripod.com/Zagreb_Hash/almost fully booked, act
quickly!
 Frankfurt Hash just started the registration for
Vineyard Hash No. 5.So if you want to be part of it sign up as a
Early Bird now!
MORE DETAILS from Automatic Balls
AutomaticBalls@Bembeltown.de
 Lundy Island Hash House Harriers
Run No.17. 9th August 2003
“Another fantastic UK hashing event to put in your
calendars!
Details and registration at: www.bristolhash.org.uk/lundy
NEW
from Ma Bouche The site
http://www.anythingmatters.com/qwertyazerty/ may
be of interest to hashers wanting to rent flats, buy cars,
sell stuff, etc. Maybe even as good as the hash trash!
Have a look.
NEW
SWISS NASH HASH- July 25/26/27 in Cernay (F) near Mulhouse
Short noticeRegistration is now 140EUR. It goes up after May 31st to
160EUR, so sign up.
More details on
http://basel.harrier.ch/snh12/details.html
Wheelchair (RA) promised lots of Champagne!
Zeee End of ze Announcements
REMINDER
Hi folks
Further to showing many of you some stuff in Alloflock's
catalogue over the last few weeks, I am on the point of
ordering some haberdashery, to include some or all of:
Pantaloon jogging
2
Sweat hooded capuche/poche(s)
Bonnet polaire (logo brodé)
Veste imperméable pacifique
Veste club : poches capuche doublure
Blouson polaire poches zippés/gilet full zip (logo
brodé)
Polo bambou
Polo femme
Débardeur athlétique
B&C short poche
To request one or more items, could you please tell
me your colour and size preference (already heard
the one about blonde with big ones).
Prices to great hashers such as yourselves will be
disgracefully low, however if later on you decide you
don't want to buy it, that's OK, it can be flogged to
somebody else.
Any questions, confusion, full details, please ask.
On-On
MaBouche
GM and occasionally Hasherdabery, Hair Razor,
Hash Cash, On-Sec, Special Events, etc, etc.
HASH HUMOUR:
List of possible slogans promoting national condom
week
1. Cover your stump before u hump
2. Before u attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You cant go wrong, if u shield your dong
7. If you're not goin’ to sack it, go home and whack
it.
8. If u think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If u slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if u wrap your peter
11. She wont get sick if u wrap your dick
12. If u go in to heat, package your meat
13. While you’re undressing Venus, dress up your
penis
14. When u take off her pants and blouse, slip up
your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never,never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don’t be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armour will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
A Prominent Member of our Hash sent this letter
Dear Hash Trash (Trash yourself! Ed.)
I have spotted a trend on the hash worth encouraging.
Have you noticed there's a rather dishy hasher with
blondish floppy hair and lovely legs, with a 4-letter hash name and
a real name of Frank?
Oh ho, well if you have, I'm one up on you, I've spotted 2. But
would rather have 3, 4, maybe more. Anyway, if any more Franks
show up, we could call him Frank Fart. Specially if he was
German.
As the wife of one of the above-mentioned (sorry, ladies, I got
there first), am I eligible for an upgrade to an older/younger
version?
Yours truly
Tittattoo
Hash Trash Editor’s Answer
Dear Tittattoo
To be Frank with you, I didn’t really get what you wanted. A Shag
with one of them? And what is this attitude of being greedy and
wanting all Franks. Frankly, what do you expect? I know other
Prominent Members prefer the gorfy version for the rumour says
the French version has a better reputation. But I think you should
stick to the English version of yours. And what is this Frank Fart
story? Aren’t you ashamed? Anyway, you know that Europe is
more and more united. No Franks in France anymore. Only Euros.
The Editor
Another letter was received
Dear Editor,
My new boyfriend continually asks me to perform oral sex on him,
but I was always taught this was a nasty, slutty act done only in
back seats at the Drive-In.
Signed, Closed Mouth
Editor’s Answer
Dear Kaya Kwanga ,
Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting but has
only ten calories-per-teaspoonful. It is nutritious, helps
you to keep your figure, increases your breast size and gives
a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man instinctively knows
this. His offer to allow you to perform fellatio (the scientific term)
on him is totally selfless. Oral sex is excruciating for a man;
just look up at his face as you are performing to observe
this. This sacrifice of pain shows he loves you. Best thing to do is
to gratefully thank your boyfriend, buy him a pair of handmade
rattlesnake cowboy boots and cook him a nice meal.
MEET THE MISMANAGEMENT
Grand Mattress: Caitlin Ma Bouche Clarke 06.87.55.60.32
sansclueh3@yahoo.com
Religious Advisor: Jan-Willem Orange Slip Handels
01.48.05.33.60
Beermeister: Alan Iceman Elliott 06.86.28.37.60
Hash Trash Editor: Marie Make Me An Offer Ghantous
06.17.25.66.29 mrghantous@yahoo.com
Hash Cash/Eye Candy: Frank Gorf Weyn 06.70.81.96.32
Hash Horn/Tablemeister: Frank Shag Newman 06.09.76.52.77
Webmaster: Chris 3-Legs Wallwork – 0.46.83.74.12
tcw232002@yahoo.co.uk
Website: http://schhh.free.fr/
Hair Razor : position vacant
Bouffemeister: position vacant
3
THE OTHER FOUR LOCAL HASHES

Fontainebleau H3: 11h15 Saturdays,
fortnightly. Run 500 on 17th May! Yvonne
Winkle Van Roeckel 01.64.99.31.00
pbdesign.yvr@wanadoo.fr
 Paris Fool Moon H3: evenings, monthly.
Jason Hairy Mary hairymary@buchelay.com or
Stefan Cockapulley Murphy 06.08.04.31.62
me@stefanmurphy.net
 Paris H3 fortnightly – next run Sat 24 May &
 Paris Bash monthly both on Saturday
afternoons. Stefan Cockapulley Murphy
06.08.04.31.62 me@stefanmurphy.net
BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR
LATEST PHOTO?
GO TO l'album
http://fr.photos.yahoo.com/bc/pyere1
HASH SONGS
HERE'S TO HIM/HER (BASIC DOWN-DOWN
SONG)
Melody - Itsel
Here's to
,
He's true blue, (he's a blue)
He's a Hasher,
Through and through,
He's a pisspot, (he's an asshole)
So they say,
Tried to go to heaven, (he'll never get to heaven)
But he went the other way, (in a long, long way)
So drink it down, down, down . . .
HE'S THE MEANEST
Melody - Itself (similar to Okinawa HHH melody)
He's the meanest,
He sucks the horse's penis,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
CHORUS:
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home,
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.
I'm sometimes up and sometimes down,
Comin' for to carry me home,
But still my soul feels heavenly bound.
Comin' for to carry me home.
If you get there before I do,
Coming for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends that I'm coming too,
Coming for to carry me home.
(repeat with variations: humming and motions only, silence and
motions only, double-time)
THEY OUGHT TO BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot,
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down . . .
WE'VE GOT VIRGINS
Melody - Frere Jacques
By Mud Fucker and Greatful Head, Bay City HHH
We've got virgins,
We've got virgins,
At our hash,
At our hash,
Gonna get'em drunked up,
Gonna get'em fucked up,
Down the hatch,
Up the ass,
So drink it down, down, down . . .
WHY WAS HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL?
Melody - Itself
All he does is pound it,
Ever since he found it,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
INTERNATIONAL HASH HYMN
Melody - Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
Note: gestures accompany words
Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fuckin' use to anyone,
He's no bloody use at all.
They say he's a joy to his mother,
But he's a pain in the asshole to me,
So drink it down, down, down . . .
I looked over Jordan and what did I see,
Coming for to carry me home,
A band of angels coming after me,
Coming for to carry me home.
4