Same-Sex Marriage
Issue Exploration
Cheltsy Shupe
4/01/14
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I have identified as a lesbian for 9 years, and the political issue of same-sex
marriage has always been a personal one. I find this issue to be very complex and
bewildering, and wanted to explore all sides of the controversy. With the understanding
that many find it difficult to understand others that aren't exactly like them, I find that
religion tends to be the main factor in whether a person supports/doesn't support samesex marriages. Same-sex unions are a controversy because everyone deserves the same
benefits, the concept of a traditional marriage, society's evolving attitude, and the ability
for same-sex couples to adopt/foster children.
It is important to understand the term “coming out” because this is where it all
begins for a homosexual person. Coming out is the process through which a person comes
to understand and accept his/her sexual identity and shares it with others (Eskridge Jr.).
The first stage in the development of a lesbian or gay identity is an awareness of being
different. This often occurs several years prior to puberty with the youth seldom aware of
what this feeling means or how it relates to their sexuality. Finally, The second stage of the
coming out process is an awareness of being attracted to members of the same sex.
Throughout history, there has been same-sex couples. Specifically, in the Zuni tribe
of the late nineteenth century, people who were attracted to the same-sex were revered
(Eskridge Jr.). The Zuni tribe emphasized a persons basic character as a reflection of their
spirit, so homosexuality was termed “two-spirited”. However, in the 20th century, as
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homophobic European Christian influences increased among many Native Americans,
respect for same-sex people greatly declined (Eskridge Jr.). People were often forced to
conform to standard gender roles.
The standard christian belief on “traditional marriage” is between a man and a
woman. Today, opponents of same-sex marriage and family believe that marriage is not a
right but a privilege that should only be legally conferred and recognized as between one
man and one woman (Olson). Not only should we not conform to a religious perspective
through law, but there are so many different religious beliefs.
Personally, I think it is ridiculous to steer the law to fit one specific group of people.
Not only is it against the constitution, but it goes against everything that America was built
upon. America was founded to escape religious tyranny in England. America is built upon
equality, and denying same-sex couples that right is against everything we were founded
upon. Supporters of same-sex marriage are asking to be recognized, and to be seen as
equal among the rest.
Not only does it go against the constitution, but not being able to get married bans
same-sex couples in participating in the benefits that marriage gives couples. One of the
many benefits of marriage is the ability to visit your significant other if an illness occurs
(Culhane). On the other side, marriage allows access to family health coverage, if an
illness occurs to your partner. If same-sex couples are denied the right to these benefits,
they
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suffer financially and emotionally. Same-sex couple denied marriage benefits will incur an
additional $41,196 to $467,562 in expenses over their lifetime compared to a married
heterosexual couple (New York Times).
Homosexuals have suffered greatly with the lack of marriage benefits, and society is
starting to see it. Attitudes are beginning to shift, and the next generation is much more
supportive of homosexuality. Actually, even interracial marriage was illegal until a 1967
Supreme Court decision(Sullivan). Societal attitudes tend to evolve, and it leaves room for
growth and change. Millennial support for same-sex marriage has grown substantially over
the past decade, from 51% in 2003 to 70% today. And Millennials make up a larger share
of the adult population today (PewResearch). Of course, views on homosexuality would
vary greatly depending on the cultures and values a person holds.
Another reason that different age groups tend to support same-sex marriage, is the
the issue of same-sex couples adopting and fostering children. Personally, I find this to be
one of the biggest issues that I have a problem with. Some states prohibit homosexual
couples from adopting children (Adoption and Child Welfare). Since adoption laws are
incredibly strict on homosexual couples, they usually have no choice but to look into other
options of creating a family.
Homosexual couples are left with other options of creating the families they deserve.
Lesbian couples can look for sperm donors, and gay couples have the ability to search for
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a surrogate mother to bear their child. However, once the child is created homosexual
couples face other issues due to the lack of legality in their marriages. Same-sex couples
raising children must stand ready to prove to the world they are a family, just one that
happens to have two mothers or two fathers (New York Times). If one parent happens to be
the biological parent to the child ,and the couple is not legally married, then the partner is
left to try and adopt the child they have created together. However, like I stated above, in
some states it is not legal for homosexual partners to adopt children. So, it leaves the
partner struggling and fighting to gain the rights they deserve.
Also, if the parent that is unable to gain rights to the child happens to be the working
parent, then the children also cannot obtain health insurance from that parent (New York
Times). The inability to gain access to health insurance for your children leads to many
financial difficulties for Same-Sex families. Also, denying homosexual couples marriage
rights, it leads to difficulties in signing up their children for school. For example, if the
working partner is the one who has their name on the home and isn't the biological parent,
then the child will be unable to attend school in that school district.
Homosexual families who are denied marriage, may also find it difficult for the nonbiological parent to have authority in routine or medical decisions for their child. And in
the event of a breakup, both parent and child could be hurt: the child may be denied
financial support from a parent, or the parent may be denied visitation rights (Widener
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Law). The non biological parent has no rights or ties to the child under law due to the lack
of marriage rights homosexual couples receive. Also, if the biological parent happened to
die, then the child would be given to a relative or even placed into foster care.
So, denying same-sex families the equal rights that marriage allows, stigmatizes that
they are inferior. Denying them equal rights also sends the message to children that it is ok
to discriminate against others. Because of this discrimination, homosexual youth are more
likely than their heterosexual peers to experience difficulties in their lives and school
environments, such as violence (CDC). This puts homosexual youth at a higher risk of
suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, and suicide.
In a recent study, they found that homosexual teens are more than twice as likely to
commit suicide then their peers (CDC). The reasons for these suicide attempts stem back
to the issue of Same-Sex Marriage. Denying couples the right to marry, sends the message
to society that homosexuals are inferior to them, which leads to others treating
homosexuals unkindly. Resulting in homosexuals feeling disliked, alone, and that
something is wrong with them.
Change can only come when people are educated about sexuality. It is incredibly
important for everyone to realize that people are all different, and we can't discriminate or
hurt others because they are not like us. Most youth who identity as heterosexuals and
homosexuals will continue to do so as adults. Youth are more likely to under report a
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homosexual orientation because of difficulties in accepting themselves and the fear of a
hostile response (CDC). Homosexuality is not a mental illness or disease. It is a natural
and healthy expression of human sexuality. In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association
removed homosexuality from the list of psychiatric disorders and, in 1975, the American
Psychological Association urged all mental health professionals to remove the stigma of
mental illness long associated with a homosexual orientation.
There are far more gay youth than most people are presently aware of. A recent
study found a significant amount of homosexual behavior among adolescents surveyed
with 28 percent of the males and 17 percent of the females reporting at least one
homosexual experience (CDC). This same study, also found that approximately 13 percent
of adult males and 7 percent of adult females had engaged in predominantly homosexual
behavior for at least three years prior (CDC). This is where the figure that 10 percent of the
population is homosexual comes from (New York Times). Prevalence of homosexuality is
very difficult to estimate among adolescents because of the complex identity issues with
which they are struggling . Given the higher rates of suicidal feelings and behavior among
gay youth in comparison with other young people, as many as 3000 gay and lesbian
young people may be taking their lives each year (CDC).
All young people face tremendous pressures to desist from any homosexual
behavior and develop a heterosexual orientation. It is easy to see why adolescents with
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predominantly homosexual feelings and experiences would try to deny a lesbian or gay
identity. They have internalized an image of being a homosexual as wrong and dangerous
to their physical and mental health. They have seen the stereotypes of lesbians and gay
men and they don't like them. These youth who don't want to live like that decide they are
going to conform to the social roles and start dating members of the opposite sex and
become heterosexuals.
It is so important that we as a society accept homosexuality on a full scale. The
problems currently being caused by the lack of support for Same-sex marriage can easily
be avoided. All homosexual families could begin to receive the wonderful benefits that
marriage allows, adopt and foster children, and not feel the unnecessary feelings of
loneliness and abandonment.
Sources Cited Page
1. Becker A. What's Marriage (and Family) Got to Do with It? Support for Same-Sex
Marriage, Legal Unions, and Gay and Lesbian Couples Raising Children. Social Science
Quarterly (Wiley-Blackwell) [serial online]. December 2012;93(4):1007-1029. Available
from: Academic Search Premier, Ipswich, MA. Accessed March 28, 2014.
This article talks about many hot button gay marriage issues. It contains great insight on
recent political developments that have captured the attention of researchers. Explaining
that cultural shifts and public attitudes are influencing the rising support for gay marriage.
The influence on religion and ideology is a major reason that same-sex marriage is still
being held back. However, the dominant framing of same-sex marriage is the battle over it
being a civil right.
2. Hackl, A., Boyer, C. C., & Galupo, M. M. (2013). From 'Gay Marriage Controversy' (2004)
to 'Endorsement of Same-Sex Marriage' (2012): Framing Bisexuality in the Marriage Equality
Discourse. Sexuality & Culture, 17(3), 512-524. doi:10.1007/s12119-012-9159-9
This article was amazing because it went into an in depth look at the bisexual culture.
Explaining that the biexual culture is almost absent in the support of gay marriage. It
explains what sexual orientation labels are being used for.
3. Mayo C. Unsettled Relations: Schools, Gay Marriage, and Educating for Sexuality.
Educational Theory [serial online]. October 2013;63(5):543-558. Available from: Academic
Search Premier, Ipswich, MA.
This article describes why gay marriage and sexuality should be discussed and not
privatized. It claimes that privatizing the issue of gay marriage leads to gender identity
issues. Claiming that education should be directed at sexual diversity.
4. Ocobock, A. (2013). The Power and Limits of Marriage: Married Gay Men's Family
Relationships. Journal Of Marriage & Family, 75(1), 191-205.
This article focuses on in depth interviews with 32 different legally married gay men. It
delves into their expectations and what the power of marriage has done for them. It dives
into a lot of social issues of why gay marriage is currently not legal in most states. It helps
others understand that gay families are no different than any other sexual orientation
families.
5. Reed R. Are the Kids Alright? Rawls, Adoption, and Gay Parents. Ethical Theory &
Moral Practice [serial online]. November 2013;16(5):969-982. Available from:
Academic Search Premier, Ipswich, MA. Accessed April 10, 2014.
This article delves deeply into what exactly makes a 'fit parent'. It deeply describes social
sciences that involve gay and lesbian parents. It draws upon the validity of generalized
assumptions that same-sex couples are less fit parents than heterosexual couples. It
describes what theoretically the requirements are for being a good parent, and what
society tends to assume when they think of the perfect parent. What it takes to become
an adoptive parent and the steps that any adoptive parent would have to follow. Also, it
seeks to make the reader question what a perfect parent really is and why same-sex
couples should be aloud to adopt children.