Busted Halo: College survival kit – 25 things
every freshman must know before classes
By Nora Bradbury-Haehl
8/21/2007
Busted Halo (www.bustedhalo.com)
NEW YORK (Busted Halo) – As a youth minister,
I say goodbye to my freshly graduated high
school seniors every August and somewhere
between leaving home and arriving on campus
they become college freshman. Some of them
seem to hit the ground running and never look
back. For others their freshman year, especially
the first few months, can be more of a
challenge.
There are a number of things that make these
first months away at college tricky:
- You’re in a new place away from everything
and everyone familiar.
- There’s no one to keep you accountable and
true to the person you have always been.
- You’re learning to set your own limits. It’s easy
to get overwhelmed. Keep in mind though,
others have gone before you and lived to tell
the tale. Here are 25 tips and tricks to help you
avoid the most common pitfalls, plus advice
from other college students and experts to get
you through the next few months.
1. Be generous with your friendship but stingy
with your trust. The friends you have back
home didn’t get to be your friends overnight. It
took months or, more likely, years, to establish
those friendships. You trust your friends
because they’ve proven themselves trustworthy.
At college, it can feel like these new people are
your old friends. You’re eating together,
studying together, sometimes spending more
time with these people than you ever could with
your friends from back home. These new
friends need to earn your trust though, don’t
just give it to them. The people you meet in
your first few weeks of school may be great,
some of them may turn out to be the best
friends of your life or they may turn out to be
criminals. Every freshman class has its gems
and its jerks (I’m not kidding, some of them are
actually criminals). Which ones are which will
come clear over the next few months. Wait
until you get to know them a little before you
loan them your car, give them all your passwords
or your ATM card, or share your deepest
secrets with them.
2. Go to class!
Seems obvious, it IS why you’re at college but
you wouldn’t believe how many freshmen skip
their way out of school. Do a little math and
figure out how much it costs for you to have
your butt in that chair per hour. You’ll be less
willing to blow one off. Most professors will
allow one or two absences but save ’em for the
end of the semester when you’ve got mono and
three papers due in the same week.
3. For the first few weeks live like a monk.
Monks take vows of chastity, poverty and
obedience.
There’s plenty of fun to be had at college and
lots of time to have it. The first few weekends,
especially among freshman, can be a bit of a
free-for-all and are often when you are at your
most vulnerable. Give yourself a chance to get
acclimated to your new surroundings before you
start taking chances. Those chances will most
likely look a lot less attractive once you’re
feeling more comfortable.
poor problem solving and attention difficulties
and increased use of drugs and alcohol.
- Chastity. College may be the place where you
meet the love of your life but you probably
won’t know that in the first week of school,
especially on Friday night after a couple of
drinks. It’s too soon to tell who’s who. Give
yourself some time to settle in before adding a
boyfriend or girlfriend to the mix or hooking up
with someone who may turn out to be bad news.
Every club, activity, and association will be vying
for your time. The college experience is about
so much more than classes. Campus activities
and organizations are a great way to expand
your horizons and connect with other students
who share your interests. Be choosey and if
you’re a “joiner” be careful not to over commit
yourself.
- Poverty. Don’t blow all your money your first
weekend there. In a few weeks you’ll be amazed
what you can live without. If you have the
luxury of calling home for cash, the parents will
be a lot happier if you don’t do it the second
week of school. All the more so if you worked all
summer for spending money that has to last the
semester. Companies love to give credit cards
to new college students. Just say “no”! Credit is
bad. It’s way too easy to get in over your head.
6. Living with a weirdo.
- Obedience. Go to class! If you’ve always been
able to skate along without really working too
hard, that might just catch up with you now.
4. Sleep is good.
Sleep! Do it at night as often as possible.
Daytime sleep screws up your body clock and
your ability to attend your very expensive
classes. Lack of sleep also impairs judgment. It
may not seem like a big deal to pull a few allnighters, but, according to Dr. Richard Kadison,
chief of Mental Health Services at Harvard
University, poor sleep quality can lead to
depression, anxiety, reduced physical health,
5. Get involved, but not too involved.
They might be weird or messy or talk too much
or keep different hours than you but work hard
to establish and maintain a positive relationship
with your new roommate. You may not spend
every waking moment together, nor should you,
but even roommates who are polar opposites can
still offer each other a little sympathy after a
hard day. It’s also nice to have someone to go
to the dining hall with.
7. Homesickness can be really tough but one of
the worst ways to fight it is by heading home
for the weekend.
Tough it out for one more weekend and make
the effort to get out and do something. You’ll
miss out on a lot of college life if you hit the
road and spend all of your weekends back home.
Plus when you get back on campus Sunday night
you can end up feeling even more isolated. If
you really can’t make it without a little
homemade TLC try a nice long phone call first
or see if you can con your folks into coming to
visit you.
8. Helpful people: they come standard on
virtually every campus!
Coming out of high school it can be easy to
think of administration as part of the problem,
but there are lots of people on campus whose
job it is to help you. Depending on your question
or problem there are any number of folks to
help you through: health services, counseling,
your academic advisor, your RA. Colleges know
the transition can be a rocky one. Don’t be
afraid to ask for help when you need it!
9. Find out about campus ministry.
Speaking of helpful people, in addition to the
folks mentioned above, many campuses have
great Catholic parishes and staffs that can
both comfort and challenge you in your faith.
It’ll be different than home but should be
familiar enough to keep you grounded.
“We call ourselves a student parish, this is your
parish and you shape what happens here.” said
Dave Nantais.
Campus Ministry can be a great place to meet
people with similar values, get connected with
service and retreat opportunities and can be a
real life line if you find yourself struggling later
in the semester. Prayer groups, social events,
interfaith opportunities and even spiritual
direction (someone to act as a mentor and guide
for your prayer life) are often available through
campus ministry.
10. Be yourself and take time to reflect.
College is a great opportunity to reinvent
yourself but don’t go too far. Remember that
whomever you decide to become is the
character you’ll have to play for the rest of this
drama. Don’t forget who you are just because
you‘re in a new place. You’re still you and it’s
gotten you this far! Your values, your likes and
dislikes, the things you’re good at haven’t
changed, hang onto those things, especially
while you’re getting used to this new
environment.
it, the statistics on the effects of college
drinking are astounding. If you’re getting
wasted every weekend, you’re headed for
trouble. If you’re missing class because you’re
hung over, you’re in trouble. Underage drinking
is a bad idea. Don’t do it.
Father Charles L. Currie, SJ, president of the
Association of Jesuit Colleges and Universities,
explained that there is “an explosion of options”
for students in their first few weeks on
campus.
Later adolescence and early young adulthood
are the blooming seasons for many mental
illnesses. The college environment, little sleep,
no supervision, a lack of people who know what
“normal” is for you can all add up to danger
when it comes to addiction or mental illness. If
you find yourself behaving in ways that are
contrary to your values or like you’re in the
bottom of an emotional pit and can’t get out –
get to the counseling center! Addiction and
mental illness are two of the deadliest issues
for college freshman.
11. Friendships.
After your first week reassess your new
friendships. Do it again after your first month.
If the friends you connected with initially don’t
seem to be a good fit, widen your circle. If you
find your group stays in when you want to go
out, drinks too much or just has different
interests don’t be afraid to continue meeting
new people.
12. Too much of a dangerous thing.
You might be tempted to tune this advice out
because you've heard it so many times before.
Don’t! I can’t tell you how many kids I’ve known
who've bombed out because they drank too
much!
Without the simple limits of home – curfews,
my mom will know if I spend the night hugging
the toilet, friends who don’t want to go drinking
– it’s easy to find yourself with a very expensive
waste of a semester. It’s a really embarrassing
way to flunk out of college or get yourself into
stupid trouble. If you won't take my word for
13. Psych 101.
14. Go to class!
15. Dating, relationships and sex on campus.
Everyone seems to have a story about a baddating decision or a hook-up gone wrong.
Whether it’s an older student that takes
advantage of freshman naïveté, a crush turned
stalker or simply a case of leaping prior to
looking, campus relationships can be a bit of a
minefield. Be particularly cautious in those first
few weeks when everyone’s still adrift. Falling
for someone who’s just looking for a little
recreational intimacy early in your first
semester can mess up your head not to mention
your grades.
Besides a broken heart or a bruised ego, there
are lots of other reasons to avoid hooking up.
College is a great place to get an STD.
Somewhere between a reported 20 and 25
percent of college students are or have been
infected with a sexually transmitted disease.
Wait until you’ve been on campus and have built
some friendships you can fall back on before
getting into a romantic relationship. Then if
your romance works out you’ll have some friends
to be happy for you and if not there’ll be
somebody to hand you a Kleenex when you’re
crying into your teacup.
16. A few words about religion.
There will be lots of different ideas floating
around campus. It's one of the best things
about the college atmosphere and an open mind
is a great thing to bring with you. Hopefully
some of your ideas will be challenged and you’ll
explore your faith more deeply because of it.
However, if you find yourself in a conversation
about God that leaves you feeling defensive,
don’t feel like you have to keep talking or
listening.
Just because you’re not a good arguer that
doesn’t make you a bad Christian! There are
churches that train their young members to
recruit and even to attack the theology of
other Christians (nice, huh?) Usually that
person is not interested in your ideas or
theology, they only want you to leave your
church and join theirs. Bring your questions
back to someone you trust.
Wash your hands!
Your mother was right. Studies have shown it's
the single best way to avoid getting whatever
bug is going around on campus.
18. Learn how to be a college student.
Organizing your time and using it effectively,
utilizing study groups, the library and all the
different learning centers and resources
available on campus, and learning to advocate
for yourself is a whole new skill set for most
people. Give yourself some time to get used to
this new learning environment and don’t expect
that you should be able to figure it all out
yourself. Seek out other students who are good
at these skills and imitate them. Ask
upperclassmen, especially those in your major,
what they did freshman year to keep up with
class material, study for tests and relate to
professors.
19. Remember the HALT method of keeping
your act together.
Don't let yourself get too... - Hungry. Your
mom’s not here to remind you to eat, get to the
dining hall and take care of yourself. Skipping
meals messes with your mood and your appetite.
-Angry. Manage your emotions, take a walk,
work out, talk to a friend and especially don’t
drink when you’re angry! Angry + drunk = stupid
behavior, sometimes involving campus security.
- Lonely. Stay connected to your support
network. Call your mother! IM (instant message)
your old friends, e-mail your youth
minister/pastor/mentor.
- Tired. If you find yourself weepy all the time,
impose a strict bedtime on yourself and see if
that doesn’t improve your mood. All-nighters
are a bad idea. Nobody does their best work
under pressure that’s just something we
procrastinators tell ourselves to rationalize our
bad behavior.
20. Pray.
Whether you’re an experienced or novice prayer, now’s a great time to do it. Your
understanding of who God is and how God works
will most likely change a lot over the next few
years.
When you have a decision to make Father
Charlie Donahue suggests prayer. “Spend some
time in your own head and heart mulling over
what you really want to do and what would be
healthy.”
Prayer can keep you open to new directions and
insights. It can also simply be a reminder of
God’s love and care for you. And most
importantly it can keep you centered, calm and
ready to deal with everything life is throwing at
you right now.
21. Food – Finding the balance.
Doritos is not a food group. Everyone’s afraid of
the “Freshman 15,” that infamous fattening up
that happens to so many new college students,
but many people have trouble avoiding it. Most
of us are used to having our mom set a plate in
front of us with a pretty balanced meal –
something meaty, something green, something
starchy. When you head into the dining hall the
first time you may be dazzled by the array of
choices but make sure that what ends up on
your plate has some balance to it. And just
because you can have ice cream with every meal
doesn’t mean you should. Try not to skip meals;
you can end up overeating at the next meal or
just wolfing down a bag of chips (or three) back
in the dorm because you’ve gotten so hungry.
Drink water not soda. You can easily pack on a
few pounds in your first semester by adding
two or three cans of soda to your daily food
intake. This also applies to other canned
beverages. They don’t call it a beer gut for
nothing.
The other extreme: Eating disorders. In this
new high-pressure environment some people
respond by controlling the one thing they feel
they can, what they eat. You probably already
know if this is a danger for you.
The people who would normally help you keep an
eye on your eating problems are also the people
who would help you deal with the stress that
causes them and they’re not here! Ahhhh! But
fear not! You can hook up with some help at the
counseling center, find yourself a supportive
friend or two that you feel you can share your
struggles with and stay accountable online to
friends or family from back home who can
encourage and support you.
Watching your weight can become a dangerous
obsession that will distract you from your goals
just as surely as any other addiction! If you’ve
never had problems with dieting, binge eating or
weight obsession before but you find yourself
distracted by calorie counting, controlling your
weight, or are afraid to eat talk to someone!
The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa
and Associated Disorders offers help and
resources.
22. Are you earning your BA or your IM?
Whatever your game system, favorite online
RPG, or electronic distraction is, be careful!
That harmless looking little X-Box can be your
education’s worst nightmare. It should stay in
the closet and only come out on weekends after
your paper is written! Anything addictive or
familiar right now is going to be more attractive
than going to class and getting your work done.
TV, Facebook, blogging, You Tube, downloading
music, IM-ing or just surfing can all be nice
stress busters,but it’s a slippery slope. You
start out just finding a little comfort or
harmless distraction and before you know it
you’ve stayed up all night, not written your
paper and missed a couple classes because you
were up too late!
Self-discipline is a bigger challenge for some of
us than others but one of the biggest tasks in
life is setting your own limits. If you’re
struggling, give yourself an Internet, television,
or Playstation “allowance” each day and stick to
it. When you’re doing homework, put up your
away message.
Nobody can multi-task! All it does is slow you
down and keep you up later. Chat for 15 minutes
and then get off IM and get your work done!
Afterwards you can stay up and chat without
the worry of the unfinished work hanging over
you.
And while we’re talking about the Internet,
here’s a hint – online porn and poker are a
baaaad idea! 2008 Class president Greg Hogan
robbed a bank to pay off his online gambling
debts! Hopefully you won’t go to such extremes
but because you’re in a strange place with new
people (and suddenly without the people and
habits that would set external limits on you)
anything addictive can be a danger zone. Porn
and online gambling, besides their general
unsavory nature, are both extraordinarily
addictive and the Internet gives us
unprecedented access. Don’t get sucked in!
Quit. If you find you can’t quit, even when you
know you should, there’s lots of help available.
25. And did I mention, go to class?
23. All work and no friends.
Nora Bradbury-Haehl is a contributing editor at
BustedHalo. She writes from Rochester, N.Y.
One of the biggest challenges is worrying about
all these new issues at the same time you’re
building a new support network. Make sure you
take time to tend your relationships – the old
ones and the new ones. Parents can be one of
your most important supports right now. Take
time with new friends to really get to know each
other and keep in touch with friends from back
home. When the chips are down and you need
some encouragement to keep moving forward
you’ll be glad you did. Even if you haven’t been
great about keeping in touch, an old friend or
mentor is usually thrilled to hear from you, even
if it’s just so you can whine for a little while.
Don’t let guilt or worry about work to be done
keep you from tending these life-sustaining
relationships!
24. Don’t be afraid, just be smart!
There’s a lot to think about its true, and a lot to
be cautious about, but this is also the
opportunity of a lifetime. You will probably
make some of the best friends of your life, you
will probably fall in love, you will probably grow
more and learn more and discover more about
yourself than you ever thought possible. You
don’t have to be afraid, just be aware! Like a
mountain climber – you’ve got all your safety
equipment. You know the safety rules. You’ve
been preparing for this climb for a long time.
Everyone who knows you is hoping for your
success. Keep your eye on the summit and don’t
be afraid!
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