1 THE BABOON MOB: EPISODE 4 CARNIVORES Timecoded Script – 2013 for NHU Africa/ Triosphere hhmmss 10:00:00 Video DISCLAIMER CAPTION: Audio WARNING TO SENSITIVE VIEWERS In the program that follows, DOCUMENTARY IMAGES of REAL CONFLICT, INJURIES and DEATH have been assembled into a FICTICIOUS STORY. No animal was harmed or stressed by the documentary filmmaking process itself. 10:00:10 However, SENSITIVE VIEWERS may find certain images DISTURBING Reel to Reel tape recorder and random impressions of the contents of Holly’s folder. HOLLY: This tape is bequeathed to the Federal Investigations Bureau. If you are not a qualified investigator, do not listen – you risk psychological damage. Baboons running on the river bank. Baboons on the dumpsite. Microscopic view of diseases CU Sonny Boy’s face – Interview. Microscopic view of diseases HOLLY DIARY: I’m supposed to be doing a spin-piece for the Sheriff’s Department. But it’s going “viral”. 10:00:36 CU Vito’s face – Interview. 10:00:41 Baboon walking on the bridge. Crocodiles in the river VITO: Who sent the virus? I ain’t namin’ no names… HOLLY: Sonny Boy has a counter accusation… 10:00:20 10:00:29 10:00:44 SONNY BOY: Some of my best friends are human. You are, if you’ll permit me a little joke, “contagious”. SONNY BOY: Vito often used crocodiles 2 10:00:50 10:00:56 10:01:04 10:01:11 10:01:18 Crocodile eating baboon’s (Rambobo) arm in the river. Oprah Oliphant at her desk. Dead Baboon (Scarlett) on the bridge Baby baboon (Charleston) approaches dead baboon (Charleston) on the bridge and tries to nurse. Holly’s folder with postcards, news paper clipping and comic book intercut with a tape recorder. View of the land from the bridge TITLE SEQUENCE: as assassins. VITO: Last we saw, Rambobo’s hand was kinda flappin’ goodbye. HOLLY DIARY: When Limpopia’s good angel squares up to Sonny Boy… tragedy conveniently strikes. SONNY BOY VO: When Charleston reappeared, he tried, he tried to nurse… HOLLY DIARY: My psychiatrist’s telling me, “Get out while you still can.” Shot of the weir leading to the River leading to the bridge. Baboons running through a fence, up a wall and walking on the bridge. Parked trucks and buses. 10:01:32 A Tape with the Main Title “ The Baboon Mob, Cassette 4: Carnivores” 10:01:37 Baboons running around a dumpsite and stealing tomatoes. Baboons raiding trucks. Baboons on the bridge. Dip to black 10:01:49 Baboons walking and eating on the burning dumpsite 10:02:12 10:02:22 MCU Vito. CU Vito’s injured leg. 10:02:27 CU Vito’s injured leg. CU Vito’s face – Interview. Baboons on the bridge. Baboon amongst/raiding HOLLY: Cigarette smuggling’s over. Gone up in smoke. That’s the story I’ve been told to write. It’s a lie. VITO: Patience, doll. It’s gonna come to ya. HOLLY: My story? VITO: No, my story. We’ll get to your propaganda. But first, you gotta “comprende”…Sonny Boy serves the Boss of Bosses. Else, somebody’d discharge 3 parked vehicles 10:02:54 Baboon raiding vehicles, eating and walking amongst people and vehicles whilts people watch, intercut with CU Sonny Boy’s face Interview 10:03:56 10:04:02 CU Sonny boy’s face – Interview. POV of inside of shotgun being aimed. Shots fired and baboon hanging dead in tree. Text: Claudio Papio: shot dead 10:04:10 CU baboon’s face and hand in the sand. Text: Gino “Twinkie” Papio: killed by snare 10:04:12 10:04:14 10:04:21 10:04:33 Crocodile walks to the river with an animal in its mouth Text: Jenny Asinus Burrito (donkey) killed by crocodile Text: John W Rambobo poisoned/killed by crocodile Baby baboon cuddling up to dead baboon. CU of Sonny Boy’s face – Interview. Baby Baboon in parent’s arms Text: Scarlett O’Chacma Papio: poisoned CU of Sonny Boy’s face – Interview. Mother and baby baboon statue. Holly’s file and tape recorder somethin’ up his tailless ass…namely, a shotgun. SONNY BOY: I’m a manager; I’m also an entertainer. We’re not quite Hollywood, but I have my own trailer. Tired of watching human celebrities? Watch us! We’re providing entertainment as a public service – doing it for bananas. Truth be told, I am campaigning for public office. During my preliminary campaign tour, I’ve met only human warmth and appreciation. People seem to like my free-market philosophy… and my personal style. HOLLY: Humans aside, what’s your baboon constituency saying about the bodycount? SONNY BOY: “Body count”? What, exactly, are you referring to? HOLLY: According to Game Control records, a high number of “unusual deaths”…have coincided with your executive tenure. SONNY BOY: I’m surprised by your insensitivity… You know, of course, that I myself suffered the deepest imaginable loss. SONNY BOY : But – good things: I’m honored to reveal… that Papio Holdings has commissioned a statue, in bronze, to commemorate my late wife Scarlett, and to honor all mother baboons, everywhere. 4 10:04:50 CU of cigarette being smoked. Holly smoking as she works. Baboon walking with bread in it mouth. Baboon skeleton head. Bridge Baboons around the bridge. 10:05:15 10:05:25 10:05:56 10:05:58 VITO: For us baboons, adoption’s no problem. No paperwork. No prowlin’ social worker. Charleston got himself a new mommy… the lovely Virginia. She’s a better deal than Scarlett, I’d say. HOLLY DIARY :Having not told me about Timelapse of clouds moving the adoption, Sonny Boy started to gush the over the river. Baboons moment I mentioned it… sitting on rocks Baboons and baby baboons moving around. Baboon and baby baboon hug, baby baboons play 10:06:02 10:06:09 CU Sonny Boy’s face – Interview, baby baboon and baboons climbing the weir. Baboons walking 10:06:43 10:06:48 SONNY BOY: Baby baboons need cuddling – just like your baby human beings. My son, Charleston…is everything I live for. One of the many things I adore about Charleston is, he’s such a little striver… SONNY BOY: I guess you could call me a hands-on kind of dad. Birds flying HOLLY DIARY: But Sonny Boy’s real focus is on Oprah Oliphant. 10:06:50 10:06:55 HOLLY DIARY: It wasn’t a total fantasy. The statue existed – in the Cape Peninsula, two-thousand kilometers away…In the statue’s text, it says… “To feed a baboon is to sign its death warrant, as sooner or later it will become a problem, and have to be destroyed.” HOLLY DIARY: It was Vito who told me what happened to Scarlett’s baby. CU Sonny Boy’s face – Interview. Baboons on dumpsite. News paper cut out s with tape recorder on the side, headline reads: ‘CLEAN UP THE DMZ’ TRUMPETS OLIPHANT. Head line reads: Oliphant’s super tax for nonbiodegradables. Headline reads: BABOONPROOF BINS TO BECOME MANDATORY. Headline reads: BABOONFEEDERS WILL FACE FINES. SONNY BOY: She was pushing legislation to punish our fast food industry. A fortyfive percent tax on non-biodegradable food cartons – that would be a death-blow to local industry. Imagine the job losses. Imagine the humiliated breadwinners… and the hunger inflicted on both our species. To survive, we have to diversify. 5 Headline reads: NEW LAW TO CRUSH LITTERBUGS. Headline: RAMPAGING OLIPHANT 10:07:14 Baboons, birds and bulldozer on dumpsite 10:07:23 Car driving on the roads and stops to let people out to jump over a fence. CU Vito’s face – Interview. Man with a cigarette box standing against a wall with graffiti Man against the wall exchanges cigarette box for money. 10:07:47 10:08:07 VITO: Sonny Boy likes big words. He’s talkin’ about smurfin’. HOLLY: “Smurf”? What is smurf? VITO: Not the little blue guys in prophylactic hats. Smurfin’s shippin’ tobacco across state borders… VITO: … Over in Limpopia City, coupla tons’ll make you a dollar millionaire. Course, the soldiers is street bums. Sheriff’s Department fights the racket with a stupid video… don’t do no real police work… Man smoking with stocking over his head. VITO: … Sheriff takes payola on the side. The rest goes to the Boss of Bosses. 10:08:09 10:08:17 Banner Text: Buying taxevaded tobacco makes YOU the delinquent!, educational video, Limpopia Sheriff’s Dept. 10:08:21 Pan from the river to rocks. Baboons in a tree 10:08:34 Baboons, donkeys, dogs and VITO: Anyways, Sonny-Boy plans to a man walking on and “offer protection” to the Smurf mules. around the rocks and baboons on trees. Baboons on dumpsite. Dogs chase baboons 10:08:43 VITO: Mules’s been bad luck for baboons lately; guess what’s comin’ round the corner? …Sonny-Boy’s plan is: baboons protect bipeds on “dangerous” journey; bipeds hand over edibles. But these bipeds – they already got protection… them lowslung canines… grrrr! Stupidest of stupids is – these bipeds ain’t got no edibles. 6 10:10:17 10:10:34 10:10:51 10:10:53 10:11:15 10:11:45 10:11:55 10:12:23 10:13:03 Sonny-Boy ain’t even overseein’ the operation – he’s too busy dinin’ on trash. He’s left it to his new punks. You ever see a situation where bipeds was tougher than baboons? It’s embarrassing. Baboon Harbard cigarette SONNY BOY: The notion that we might ads. Baboons swinging on take an interest in tobacco – let alone its trees and fences illegal underbelly – is, frankly, ridiculous. Tobacco used to signify lifestyle. Today, lifestyle is simply lifestyle… Baboons swinging on fences SONNY BOY: At Papio’s, I’m instituting a and trees. new culture of fun and freedom. It’s a culture that says, we love the leisure industry, and everybody gets participate! All work, no play, turns Johnny and Jill into dull baboons. Baboons copulating under a tree. Baboon running around, playing and sliding SONNY BOY: It’s a win-win for humans in the covered pool and baboons – we’re bringing a doubleText: Sewage Facility, dose of fun to your excellent public Limpopia Demilitarized facilities. Zone (DMZ) Baboons continue to run, VITO: Sick – it’s sick, what Sonny-Boy’s slide and play in the covered doin’ to our family. Them kids spends all pool. Baboon drinking water day drugged up on biped-sugar… slidin’ in from a hose pipe a pit of warm excrement. Our youngsters is so soft these days – no surprise they got pissed on by a buncha biped Smurfers. Baboon playing in the covered pool. Young baboon steals blanket from tree Young baboon gets the blanket off the tree and runs off and continues to slide with it with the other baboons. Baboon in the covered pool. Cu Vito’s face – Interview. Baboon sitting and running around on the riverbank and around the rocks SONNY BOY: I tell our employees, “Remember – zoo style is the new style!” So relax – humankind is your new best friend. VITO: Charleston, snatchin’ blankets…Sonny Boy’s corruptin’ the kid like he corrupted Twinkie. Sure, it looks like a good time… till somebody winds up as beetle-food. VITO: You bipeds will put anythin’ on the idiot-box…I told ya before – them Disney cartoons got it wrong. Nobody don’t play no friendly manager…And nobody don’t play “dad” in no nice little picket-fence family. Any baboon with cohunes could be some baby’s daddy-o. So we look out for all the babies … make discipline… stop the strong killin’ the weak... That’s all. The “daddyhood” don’t go no further. SONNY BOY: I’ve been combating the… 7 10:13:05 CU Sonny Boy’s face – Interview. Baboons on the rocks and by the river. 10:13:3o Baboon drinking water. Baby baboon walking around. Baboon snatches baby baboon and is chased on the rocks. Baby baboon is snatched back and runs off. 10:14:24 SONNY BOYVirginia and her friends gave chase… 10:15:01 Baboon baboon shaking on the rocks and running away whilst the other baboons run after each other. Baboon latches on baboons back on the rocks. Bridge. 10:15:46 Bridge. Birds flying. Buck eating by the riverbank 10:16:07 10:16:08 CU of Vito’s face – Interview. Bucks walking under the Bridge and eating. 10:16:24 10:16:39 “culture of bullying”… that once haunted Papio’s. It’s a culture that has affected me very personally. Somebody was jealous of Virginia – jealous of her successful adoption of my son… SONNY BOY: Unbeknown to us, Charleston was being watched – and followed. The baboon in question was a big, childless female. Let’s call her Ms. B. Virginia was getting her hair groomed. Next thing – Ms. B turns baby-snatcher! Lion walking in the bush. buck and baboon by the river bank and crocodile moving in the background. Buck walking along a fence and along the riverbank. Baboons on the riverbank. SONNY BOY: Charleston was shaken, but… still with us, thank goodness. There was some confusion…innocent bystanders were chased by security .Ms. B took the opportunity to disappear. We didn’t see her again. Charleston – poor little fellow – we’re still sending him to counseling. HOLLY: How widespread was the bullying? SONNY BOY: It went deeper than bullying .Ms. B’s baby-snatching behavior was primeval…a hangover, I’m sorry to say, from Vito’s old regime, with its cavebaboon attitudes. VITO: Hunting. I don’t like it. I love it. I’ll take you on a huntin’-date, sometime. You ever tasted bushbuck venison? VITO: Lemme tell ya some bush-craft. Them big bushbuck ears…big wet noses… They can smell, maybe hear, your riflehunter… even lion… sneakin’ in from two miles off. When the bushbucks moves out… us baboons moves out also. But, bushbucks’ peepers ain’t so sharp as ours. There’s times, we’re first to go visual on the predator. Then them bushbucks follows our evacuation. Mixed groups, baboons with bushbucks, you can’t take by surprise… But if you’re inside the group – bushbucks is easy…Bushbuck caballeros – they use the stiletto horns to impress each other. They don’t never use them to defend 8 10:17:53 Long shot of the bridge. Children crossing the bridge whilst baboons are around 10:18:08 Cu of Sonny Boy’s face – Interview. Baboon in the town, children in town, cars and on the road. Baboon walking through the people. Long shot of the bridge Long shot of the bridge. CU of Vito’s face – Interview. School children crossing the bridge. Baboon walks on the side walk and runs up a fence as he’s being chased away and the kids laugh. 10:18:50 10:19:31 10:20:22 10:20:55 10:21:28 CU f Vito’s face – Interview. Cars moving on the road. Baboon around people and parked vehicles, kids and adults walking around. Baboons watch them, baboons cross the road Baboon and baby baboon sitting on a fence, Baboons crossing the road. Kids walking through dumpsite. Kids throw stones/rocks at the baboons in the road who then run away Baboons running into the bushes. Dead baboon on the road. CU of Vito’s face – Interview. People walking in the township and cars driving by. Picture of little boy throwing a rock. Picture of baboons climbing over fence. News paper cut outs, their babies. Yeah, bushbucks ain’t too big on baby protection. It’s all single-mothers, doin’ their best… but very, er… vulnerable. VITO: Baby – infant meat…It’s real tender flesh. Whadda you bipeds call it again? You call it “veal”, don’tcha? SONNY BOY: Adoration for babies – it’s a blessing bestowed on all mammals. Big eyes… chubby cheeks…tiny limbs… babies tug at the heartstrings of baboon and human alike. VITO: Biped brats is always crossin’ that border to get to school. Sonny Boy can’t help himself; he gets designs on ’em. “So many kids, so little time” – is what he was sayin’… Time to ask for their lunchboxes, I guess. The catapult cowboys – the kiddycops. They humiliate Sonny-Boy. That’s when he says, okay, I’m gonna do it now. HOLLY: Do what, exactly? VITO: I don’t like to talk about it. I mean, what kinda schmuck invades the ghetto… or “tours the township”… to make war on the children? You bipeds is the only species to do that – till Sonny Boy sends his soldiers in. VITO: You ever hear what happened to Sonny-Boy’s heroes? Them ghetto-kids is more tough than ten battalions of your marines. VITO: Fact is, the only casualties is on Sonny Boy’s side. Some paramilitary punk gets pancaked. Sonny Boy’s the main brain, but he ain’t there – he’s too clued-in to the consequences. But… it still don’t look dandy for Sonny Boy. If you think gettin’ rocked by the smurfin’ mob don’t impress your goons… try gettin’ rocked by the local kindergarten. HOLLY DIARY: Vito was telling me that Sonny Boy almost lost his grip on the troop…The question I should have asked was, how far would Sonny Boy go, to get 9 headline reads ‘BATTLE AT FREEDOM PARK”, “Kids send baboons packing”, OLIPHANT TO SQUASH BABOON INVASIONS”. 10:21:43 10:21:48 10:21:57 10:22:32 Oprah Oliphant walks into her office Oprah Oliphant in her office, CU of her shoes. Newspaper cut outs heading reads: KIDS CALL THEIR FAVOURITE CONGRESSWOMAN ‘ANGEL SHOES’. CU of tape reel CU of Sonny Boy’s face – Interview. People walking on the bridge. Buck and baboons on the riverbank 10:22:54 10:23:08 10:23:11 HOLLY DIARY : Oliphant… “funky shoes”… kids… what’s the link? SONNY BOY: These allegations, that I would attempt to intimidate the young of any species – they’re beneath contempt. We live in peace with all our neighbors. HOLLY: The bushbuck – do you live in peace with them? SONNY BOY: I and my employees certainly do. But I cannot speak for the remnants of Vito’s regime – those brutes who cling to a hunter-gatherer lifestyle. They gather, beside unsuspecting bushbuck… Then hunt. Screen distorts. Baboons attacking and eating a bushbuck fawn 10:22:38 10:22:44 his power back? Sonny Boy’s grip on power… was also threatened by Oprah Oliphant. Baboon feeding alone on bushbuck Text: Limpopia Wildlife Society: Members’ Video of The Month Screen distorts Screen distorts. Hippo walking in the river. Baboons on the riverbank Baboons on the rocks. Baboons copulating Baboons running around on the rocks. Newspaper cut outs headlines read: “MYSTERY OF MISSING VITO: You gotta muscle in, scrum down – it’s a contact sport… VITO:I got the grand prize… Yeah, I was on video-of-the-month… VITO: … Limpopia Wildlife Society – publicity don’t get no better than that. HOLLY DIARY: … Vito’s status was rising again… HOLLY DIARY : … But, whatever glory Vito enjoyed among his fellow carnivorous baboons… his “video of the month” was soon overshadowed. 10 CONGRESSWOMAN”, OLIPHANT ‘HAD MADE ENEMIES’ EXCLUSIVE” 10:23:26 Newspaper cut outs headlines read: “OLPIPHANT CULL NOT JUST A TASTELESS THREAT”, “CANCELLED! All Baboon-feeding fines”, “CARTON INDUSTRY CAN BREATHE AGAIN”, “BUSHMAFIA LINK in Oliphant disappearance 10:23:38 Baboon walking along a house, baboons on a car The bridge. Bird by the river 10:23:47 10:23:50 10:23:54 Crocodile in the river 10:24:14 Baboons and camera man on the rocks and riverbank. Birds flying over the river. Crocodile moving in the water 10:24:53 Crocodile eating in the river. Birds fly over the river 10:25:02 10:25:05 10:25:28 10:25:29 CU of Oliphant’s shoes. Baboons walking. Evidence photo’s –body bagged shoes Tape distorts and blurs out. Banner with the Text: Baboons tampering with transmission: DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET SONNY BOY: Of course, when a prominent local personality disappears like this, it’s deeply affecting to us all. Papio Holdings issued a statement of regret… and, later, our executive committee paid a private visit to the home of her bereaved family. VITO: My little bird tells me, there was talk… HOLLY: What kind of talk? VITO: Oh, the Missus Oliphant had, er, investments – y’know, in that biodegradable baloney she was pushin’. HOLLY: Do you believe that? VITO: Nope. Best way to make enemies… is to be too honest. VITO : After video-of-the-month, all the paparazzi was tailin’ me. So, I kinda took them to the river. Soon, we was all watchin’ the crocodiles. Biped foot, biped footpiece – it’s all candy to crocodiles. I believe it made the evenin’ news… Also the Federal investigation files. VITO : … That crocodile was holdin’ the footpiece… like it was a baby. VITO : The Missus Oliphant’s foot – that’s what all you media monkeys wants to believe. But, I told ya – us baboons got good peepers… The footpiece is more your kinda thing, doll. Y’know – “sensible”. End Credits 11