Thu Jan 15, 2004
BRAIN SANDWICH
I have been all over the world, and I realize people eat all kinds of weird stuff, but this is just gross. They will get
what they deserve.
Food for thought, or is that, of thought...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 15, 04 | 6:11 pm | Profile
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My Held Hostage Story
I was once held hostage in a cabinet shop. My ex worked in a cabinet shop and we carpooled to work each day. I
went to pick him up one day and while waiting in the car I saw a white guy (hereafter, W) being chased by a black
guy (hereafter B). W darted between my car and the car parked in front of me and narrowly missed being hit by an
oncoming car. He ran into the my ex's workplace. B was yelling at W and stopped for traffic just in front of me. I
noticed he had a pistol of some type. I began thinking heroic thoughts, like trying to pin him between my car and
the other car, but decided he'd probably blow my head off so I just sat there hoping he wouldn't bother me. He
ran across the street and tried to go into the cabinet shop but apparently someone had locked the doors. He ran
around to the back of the building and I'm trying to flag down a cop at the intersection up ahead to no avail. One of
the guys my ex works with yelled for me to run into the shop through the door he was holding open. I preferred my
place in the car but thought he knew best. Once inside I seen W just sitting in a chair, one of the workers is on the
phone to the cops, and everyone else is hiding behind cabinets. I took my place behind one also. We could hear B
outside trying to get in and yelling, then a knock and it's the cops who had caught B out back. The gun was found in
some bushes next to the building. I wish I had been a hero and pinned the guy... it would have been so wonderful to
get awarded a Medal of Heroics.
Posted by: cj on Jan 15, 04 | 3:43 pm | Profile
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Give Him Back his Money
This makes me mad! The mayor has this 71-year old man's one thousand dollar bill and won't give it back! Any 71year old man who is still out there smoking weed and drinking till pass out stage gets me on his side.
MoneyTroubles
Posted by: cj on Jan 15, 04 | 2:19 pm | Profile
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NATIONAL DO NOT SPAM REGISTRY
It's about time. I have been waiting for this since the do not call list came into effect.
No more spam-unless you want it...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 15, 04 | 1:38 pm | Profile
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Please stay away from the camera!
Shriver During Her Postmortem
Oh my God! Why does she not avoid the camera? She is probably the oldest looking woman on the planet... Even older
looking than the Emperor woman! Here, she appears to be trying to catch he body parts as they fall off her head. It is an
exercise known as Leper-obics.
Yeah, I know, she is probably a nice woman. Still, on Juggernuts, she gets it with both barrels!
Caption: Eunice Kennedy Shriver, sister of former U.S. President John F. Kennedy adjusts her hair as she waits for the
start of the Emporio Armani's Fall/Winter 2004 men's collection at the Milan fashion week January 14, 2004.
REUTERS/Daniele La Monaca
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 15, 04 | 6:57 am | Profile
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Idiots Stick Together:
The Faces of Imbecilica!
These two yahoos getting together is a completely retarded scene. Look at those goofy looks on their faces. All I can think
is that he must have poked her in the rear real good. It looks like they have this nasty little secret that they keep
between them. Maybe he's stickin' it to her fright there! Kerry must be angry because he was on the receiving end of a
hummer just recently. I bet he has a broken heart this morning. Let’s have a big sigh for Kerry...
Also, "Imbecilica" is a new word meaning: a mental state where many imbeciles gather to share their imbecilic ideas and
ideologies.
Caption: Democratic candidate for president former Vermont governor Howard Dean stands with former Illinois U.S.
Senator Carol Mosely Braun in this January 11, 2004 file photo taken at a candidate debate in Des Moines, Iowa.
Democratic presidential contender Carol Moseley Braun will drop out of the race and endorse front-runner Howard Dean in
Iowa Thursday, political sources said. REUTERS/Jim Bourg
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 15, 04 | 6:45 am | Profile
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Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
NASA Speech
Yarbz Caption: President George W. Bush stands while he is admired by adoring fans out side new NASA (No Asshole
Saddam Anymore) building in downtown Baghdad. Thousands of Iraqis were so happy they peed themselves at the opening
of the NASA community center. NASA will help Iraqis cope with all the memories of murder and torture under the regime.
As the same time, NASA will seek out and destroy any remaining evil bastards.
Original Cation: US President George W. Bush delivers a major address on US space programmes at NASA headquarters in
Washington. Bush unveiled ambitious plans for the United States to return to the Moon as early as 2015, saying a lunar
base would serve as a jumping-off point for manned missions to Mars and 'across our solar system.'(AFP/Tim Sloan)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 15, 04 | 6:40 am | Profile
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Wed Jan 14, 2004
I'M WITH HIM
He was just saying hello...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 14, 04 | 6:50 pm | Profile
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THIS JUST MAKES ME LAUGH
No agenda from Conspiracy Dude on this one. I just think it's funny.
See for yourself...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 14, 04 | 2:45 pm | Profile
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A SPAM LAW THAT MAKES SENSE
After years of trying to find a solution to the problem, Congress is really onto something
No more spam...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 14, 04 | 2:43 pm | Profile
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NOW I'M REALLY CONFUSED
Well, umm, well, shit, I guess we just have to go home now.
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 14, 04 | 2:32 pm | Profile
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Thoughts of Summer
I am so lucky to I live 30 minutes from Party Cove. Anyone ever heard of Party Cove? Basically it's a cove on the
Lake of the Ozarks where boats tie themselves together making a large floating dock of sorts. People party hardy
at the Party Cove, going from boat to boat getting drunker and drunker, stoned and more stoned, and naked, naked,
naked!
Anything can happen and usually does. The arrest reports in the newspaper are downright funny following some
weekends at Party Cove. For instance, two guys once got off the boat they were passengers on to take a nap on land
under some shade trees (pass out more likely) and when they awoke their boat was gone. They walked naked to a
parking lot in the park where a ranger gave them a ride to the police station.
PartyCove
Posted by: cj on Jan 14, 04 | 12:36 pm | Profile
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Gift Ideas
SINGAPORE - Women in Singapore are buying their husbands special Lunar New Year briefs, hoping to bring them
good fortune and increase their sexual potency.
Women are also buying themselves "Funky Monkey" panties specially designed for the year of the monkey,
featuring smiling cartoon primates. The Lunar New Year begins on Jan. 22 and is celebrated by the Chinese
diaspora around the globe.
Posted by: cj on Jan 14, 04 | 12:24 pm | Profile
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That's Right Baby. I'm a Bitch.
This morning's drive to work was pretty uneventful until I got near my exit. Traffic was moving faster than normal,
75 through the latest construction zone marked 60 mph, and I'm just going with the flow until behind me appears
an ugly old white car with a Michael Jackson look alike driving. She began riding my butt for a mile or more and
can't pass because I'm already in the passing lane passing people. When I finally can switch to the right lane, she
switches too and rides even closer. She's beginning to irritate me at this point. I notice she switches to left lane
and I realize she and I are heading for the same exit that's coming up quick. I moved forward slightly faster and
successfully caused her to miss her exit because she could not cut me off and squeeze ahead of me and behind
that SUV. I won! Plus, the finger didn't matter as I grinned on my way.
Posted by: cj on Jan 14, 04 | 10:19 am | Profile
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Bad advice
On the Fourth of January Northern Illinois got its first significant snow fall of the year. Perhaps 6 or 7 inches fell
at my house. I was moderately cool with it as it gave me a chance to fire up that snow blower and get in a little
shovel work, which I, for some reason, seem to enjoy. That is, of course, when I don't have to do it very often.
We have a sidewalk next to the garage that leads to the back entrance to the house. The sidewalk is made of
bricks and they have become uneven due to small burrowing mammals and the passage of time. Shoveling this walk
or hitting it with the snowblower is trecherous at best due to the uneven bricks.
I read on iwon.com a gardening tip that suggested that you use either sand or cat litter instead of salt to melt ice
and snow. It was said to be better for the yard and the garden as it didn't leech into the soil and burn the roots of
plants and grass. I had recently just purchased the wrong type of cat litter (that will not work in the $80
automatic cat box stupid thingy), so I had some to spare. I spread it liberally on the side walkway as well as the
front walk up to the house and the brick steps near the front door.
This was NOT a good idea.
While it did melt the snow, we were left with a swampy clay-like mess. You see, apparently the cat litter is made of
absorbant clay material that turns into a pasty white and very slippery substance once it is wet. It also sticks to
everything. I now have a white path leading into the garage and thru it. Every pair of shoes and pants that I own is
encased in what looks like chalk. It is in my cars, my house, on the dog, the dog's bed, just about everywhere.
The day before yesterday, I had had enough and decided to thaw a hose pipe and wash the crud away. I hooked the
hose up to the sink in the laundry room so I could generate some hot water and blast away. The litter now sticks to
the walk now like cement and then I got it wet and swampy and slippery all over again. I worked diligently to remove
all traces of the goo from the front entry, but that side walkway is still a mess.
Thanks a lot for the great tip Iwon. I am stopping to buy salt on the way home.
Posted by: FloridaBill on Jan 14, 04 | 7:08 am | Profile
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Car Shopping in Baghdad:
We're Given them Away!
Car shopping has become a difficult venture in Iraq these days...
Caption: A man looks over the damage done to a vehicle after a suicide bomber blew up a car outside a police station in the
Iraqi town of Baquba, January 14, 2004. A suicide bomber blew up a car outside a police station in central Iraq, killing two
civilians and wounding more than 20, mostly police, in the latest assault on those backing the American occupiers. (Ali
Jasim/Reuters)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 14, 04 | 6:48 am | Profile
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Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
Kerry Sings The Hits
Yarbz Caption: Democratic candidate for president Massachusetts U.S. Senator John Kerry seranades singer Carol Kings
with his version of Barfrah Streisand's "Mammories" during a fund raiser where Carol King told the audience that she is
supporting Kerry because she always had a crush on "Lurch" from the Adams Family television show. She expelained that
while the she has no chance with Lurch, she might be able to get a piece of Kerry. Kerry, angered by the "lurch" comment,
told her that he is much more like a "French Frankenstien" and she should consider touching his rather lenghty but
stitched on willy that once belonged to John Holmes. Kerry, a big fan of Holmes, bought the member shortly after his
untimely death.
Original Caption: Democratic candidate for president Massachusetts U.S. Senator John Kerry holds hands with
singer/songwriter Carole King after King gave a concert in support of his campaign in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, January 13,
2004, Iowa will hold presidential caucuses on January 19, 2004. REUTERS/Lou Dematteis/Handout
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 14, 04 | 6:36 am | Profile
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Tue Jan 13, 2004
RABIES TEST WAS NEGATIVE
The dead man doesn't need a rabies shot and the living lady is thrilled that rabies shots will not be needed. People
still wonder if this wasn't just a road rage incident gone too far.
The mountain lion authorities believe killed one mountain biker and mauled another at a wilderness park did not
have rabies, authorities said.
State wildlife investigators conducted the rabies test to determine, among other things, why the animal exhibited
such aggressive behavior in the attacks last week at Whiting Ranch Wilderness Park. Rabies could have partially
explained the attacks.
Anne Hjelle, 30, was rescued from the jaws of a mountain lion Thursday by a cycling partner who clung to her leg
and other mountain bikers who threw rocks at the animal as it tried to drag her away.
Hjelle was in fair condition at a Mission Viejo hospital.
The body of Mark Reynolds, 35, later was found partially buried near his bike. Reynolds apparently had crouched
down to fix a broken bicycle chain when he was attacked. Reynolds was a native of St. Joseph and a 1991 graduate
of the University of Missouri-Columbia.
A 2-year-old, 110-pound male mountain lion was shot and killed by Orange County sheriff’s deputies after it was
seen near the site where Reynolds was found. DNA tests were under way to see whether tissue the lion had tissue
in its stomach matched Reynolds’.
Posted by: cj on Jan 13, 04 | 3:51 pm | Profile
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Now He's a Good Guy!
PETA Approves!
This is the PETA approved version of the recent event with the bonzo Aussie dude. Sent to me by Dane Bramage.
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 13, 04 | 11:23 am | Profile
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Liberal Activist Seeking Like Minded Partner
Finally, a new online dating service that saves you from asking your date who she or he voted for and if she's a
meat eater or a sucker for eggplant.
SEXUAL-POLITICS
Posted by: cj on Jan 13, 04 | 10:30 am | Profile
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2004 ACTIC - NOT A SHELBY
Wackiest car ever, the description reads. Boy, is that an understatement. I've never seen tires like the ones on
this vehicle that even comes with it's own pull behind wagon.
NISSAN
Posted by: cj on Jan 13, 04 | 9:08 am | Profile
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SOUP AND CONDOM - ENTS
How about one more lawsuit regarding restauarants? Condom style soup. Dieting is beginning to sound like a good
idea.
BARF
Posted by: cj on Jan 13, 04 | 8:53 am | Profile
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He Got a Golf Jones!
From FoxNews.com
Talk About Dedicating Your Life to Golf
MIAMI (AP) — A man who lived on a golf course for 40 years was told to leave because some golfers complained
that he scared them.
Kenny Bethel, 55, first showed up at Palmetto Golf Course after he ran away from home in 1963. He collected and
resold stray golf balls, used the club's showers and toilets at night and slept in a sheltered area on the course that
housed the showers.
"This course became my job and later, my home," he said. "What have I done to deserve this?"
For the last nine years, Bethel had been joined by his wife Francis, 43. They have since relocated to a space under
a nearby bridge.
"It's a huge dilemma," said Carlos McKeon, manager of Miami-Dade County Golf Operations. "We used to cast a
benign eye on Kenny. But when a few golfers complained that he's trespassing and it's against the law, we had to
get him off."
Other golfers, who had become accustomed to seeing Bethel on the course, were surprised by his banishment.
"He's a nice guy," said golfer Mario Deif. "You have to admire someone who has debunked modern life and lives off
the land."
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 13, 04 | 7:32 am | Profile
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Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
Rare Moment in Sports!
Yarbz Caption: Martina Navratilova allows a ball to get close to her mouth. Ms. Navratilova told the audience, who were
present for the autograph session, that this is the closest she has ever allowed a ball or balls to get to any of her orifices.
She did eventually cradle a few grapefruit with her neck and also a couple of melons but turned down the opportunity to
take a pair of figs from a member of the crowd and put them near her mouth. She responded to a few hecklers in the
crowd, stating, "I think there should be less bein' rude here.
Original Caption: Ball hugging : Martina Navratilova of the US squeezes a tennis ball with her cheek during an autograph
signing session at the Sydney International. (AFP/David Hancock)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 13, 04 | 7:04 am | Profile
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9-11 reminder:
This is pretty good...
CLICK HERE!
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 13, 04 | 6:39 am | Profile
[3] comments (292 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Texas Peace Plan:
Problem Solved!
This is a great way to begin the peace process.
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 13, 04 | 6:18 am | Profile
[4] comments (307 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Syracuse Has Balls
Don't Touch My Balls!
Syracuse seems to be playing very well lately. they took out Missouri last night at Missouri despite that fact that the
Tigers tried to touch the Orangemen’s ball throughout the entire game. The next game at Notre Dame will be difficult
because they are expected to try and touch Syracuse's weeners as much as possible. Coach Boeheim has taken no changes
and ordered three extra cases of duct tape for all future games, especially those games against Georgetown. Georgetown
players are known to enjoy a little rear end social activity. Story
Caption: Missouri's Thomas Gardner, left, reaches in to steal the ball away from Syracuse's Josh Pace Monday, Jan. 12,
2004, during the second half of Syracuse's 82-68 victory in Columbia, Mo. (AP Photo/L.G. Patterson)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 13, 04 | 6:02 am | Profile
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Mon Jan 12, 2004
PAYBACK, OR COVERING ASS
I don't know if anyone else saw 60 Minutes on Sunday, but the things O'neil had to say were pretty damning. Now
the administartion is trying to find out how documents that showed possible suitors for Iraqi oil contracts showed
up on TV. It really makes me wonder why they were talking about this long before 9/11. As I've said all along, this
administartion was planning on going to war with Iraq no matter what.
Now I really have some questions...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 12, 04 | 3:58 pm | Profile
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Internet Eating
If you are going to be this stupid.. someone will eat you.
EATME
Posted by: cj on Jan 12, 04 | 3:33 pm | Profile
[3] comments (282 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Stupid Warning Labels
I love these. They are funny and show just how litigious we can be. I understand the new Lavitra drug comes with a
warning that if you get one stuck in your throat, you could have a stiff neck for hours. Just ask Mike Ditka. Could
he be the next coach of the Bears?
More...
Posted by: FloridaBill on Jan 12, 04 | 12:59 pm | Profile
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SHOPPING SPREE GONE BAD
Homeland Security money has amassed one county around $1,000,000. All of this money has gone to equipment
purchases (nothing about funds for training to use this equipment). Mr. McNabb, head of the county's Emergency
Management Agency, made this brilliant comment, This is America,” McNabb said. “People are responsible for
themselves.” His comment explains why the Red Cross will be in charge of feeding and sheltering people if the need
arises.
Dollars
Posted by: cj on Jan 12, 04 | 12:40 pm | Profile
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I KNOW WHERE I'M NOT GOLFING
HARSH, REALLY, REALLY HARSH!
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 12, 04 | 11:07 am | Profile
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Still Wanted - Please Help
Remembering back to my first drink of moonshine... shudder. The drink that nearly killed me. Now I can buy it in
jelly form and die with a piece of toast.
Moonshine
Posted by: cj on Jan 12, 04 | 9:12 am | Profile
[2] comments (239 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Ha! Very Clever!
From FoxNews:
I'll Take the &*$@#! Fries With That
Local cops are scrambling to find the jokester who's hacked into a Burger King's (search) drive-through speaker in
Troy, Mich., telling customers they're too fat to order Whoppers.
Police figure some teenagers must have discovered the radio frequency used to transmit conversations between
the parking-lot order kiosk and the restaurant kitchen, according to Ananova.com.
One customer was told: "You don't need a couple of Whoppers. You're too fat. Pull ahead," according to police Lt.
Gerry Scherlinck.
When the manager came out to apologize to a carload of customers who'd just heard a stream of obscenities, the
drive-through speaker had a special message for him as well.
"There's nothing you or the police can do about this," said the speaker, "so get your fat ass back inside and take
your goons with you," Scherlinck told the Detroit News.
Kevin Barnes, a spokesman for the franchise company that owns the restaurant, said he'd like to keep news of the
incidents low-key.
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 12, 04 | 7:12 am | Profile
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Great Shot!
Two Great Things!
Two important staples of life caught in one photo... Beer and cleavage. Not necessarily in that order.
Caption: A German brewery has developed a beer containing vitamins and minerals it says are designed to slow the ageing
process. File photo shows Daniela Braml, wearing a traditional Bavarian dirndl drinking beer at Munich's Oktoberfest beer
festival. REUTERS/Michaela Rehle
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 12, 04 | 6:40 am | Profile
[3] comments (274 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Indecent Proposal:
The Candidate
This shot was taken at the moment Carol Mosley Braun offered a hummer to Dick Gephardt. Braun, unaware of the shotgun
microphone, told Dick that she loves him and would like to give him a little "present" for being such a liberal and helping to
keep her people addicted to government assistance and cash. Then, she offered to harden Dick so he could hold up to the
coming onslaught from Republicans. Dick said that he was hardened just at the thought of such help from Carol.
Democratic hopeful Carol Mosley Braun, right, whispers to Dick Gephardt (news - web sites) before the start of the Brown
and Black Forum in Des Monies, Iowa Sunday, Jan. 11, 2004. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 12, 04 | 6:32 am | Profile
[0] comments (230 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
Can't Take The Heat
Yarbz Caption: Democratic presidential front runner, Howard Dean, turns to his assistant and all around helper, Linda
Hand, as he broke into tears after a verbal assault from Missouri Rep. Dick Noheart. Noheart accused the New Hampshire
liberal of being a baby and not fit for the tough job that is President of the United States. After about 5 minutes of
uncontrolled sobbing, Dean recovered and responded to Nohearts attacks with, "You are but what am I?" and "Shut up
retard!". Dean was later heard crying in the dressing room after the debate as he was suckled by Linda Hand.
Original Capiton: Democratic presidential contender Missouri Rep. Dick Gephardt (L) watches as opponent former Vermont
Gov. Howard Dean has makeup applied in Des Moines, Iowa January 11, 2004 prior to the final debate before the Iowa
caucuses. Dean and Gephardt were locked in a near dead heat for the top spot, according to a Reuters/MSNBC/Zogby poll
released on Sunday. REUTERS/Jim Bourg
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 12, 04 | 6:18 am | Profile
[5] comments (241 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Sun Jan 11, 2004
I WANNA MOVE TO IDAHO
After realizing that the ever important "munchie crowd" has taken their money elsewhere, the owner of the Hailey,
Idaho IGA decided to create a one stop shopping experience. With rock-bottom prices, and well stocked shelves,
buisness boomed. Within 2 weeks, the store sold more Doritos and Mountain Dew than it had in the previous 6
months.
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 11, 04 | 9:06 pm | Profile
[2] comments (238 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
JACKO'S WACKO'S
If there ever is a time to set up a "free speech zone" out of the view of the public, THIS IS IT. Now I don't know
how many shitheads will really show up for this, but I would love to be in the middle of them...with my 5 iron.
Touchy feely...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 11, 04 | 9:01 pm | Profile
[2] comments (257 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Rush Fan Club
I don't mean to keep on the whole Rush thing, but this is classic. His own fan club President calling him out. Hitting
the nail on the head along the way.
Letter to Rush...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 11, 04 | 12:53 pm | Profile
[2] comments (307 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Sat Jan 10, 2004
Yes:
I Am Drunk!
Therefore, I am...
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 10, 04 | 6:32 pm | Profile
[3] comments (302 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Fri Jan 09, 2004
Welcome to Maine:
The Way Cold Looks
Maine is cold. The Patriots game will be plently cold even in Maine's southern neighbor state, MassiveTwoShits.
Caption: A ferry motors through arctic-like sea fog as it passes House Island in Casco Bay on its way to Portland, Maine,
where the temperature dropped to minus-8 degrees Fahrenheit, Friday, Jan. 9, 2004. Fryeburg, Maine, was the coldest
location in the state at 27 degrees below zero. Forecasters are predicting even colder temperatures next week. (AP
Photo/Robert F. Bukaty)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 09, 04 | 2:29 pm | Profile
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My Chicken Fried Rice Experience
Mike (my significant other) wanted chicken fried rice last night. I had a huge bowl all ready to put on the table,
when I realized I forgot to add teriaki sauce. I turned and put the bowl back on the counter, opened the cabinet
and shook the sauce on the rice. As I went to put the bottle back in the cabinet, much to my horror, oh hell he's
gonna kill me now thoughts running through my head, I had poured vanilla, lots and lots of vanilla on the rice! I
drained as much as I could off, but it sucked. Truly sucked. It wasn't so bad if you kept shoveling it in your mouth,
but if you stopped shovelling, YUCK! Ok give me more hell I deserve it.
Posted by: cj on Jan 09, 04 | 8:54 am | Profile
[50] comments (464 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Street People and the Genius
I admit that I watched "The Apprentice last night. We didn't know if we'd like the latest reality show, but quickly
discovered that Donald Trump is a freaking genius. The girls versed the guys and had to sell lemonade, whoever
sold the most won. It gave me an idea. If the street people, bums, beggars, whatever you wish to call them got
enough money for some lemonade they could walk the streets making money instead of begging for money. The
lemonade sold by the guys was $2 a cup. Highway robbery, but people bought it. If they sold one glass they'd have
$2. Hell that's enough for a bottle of Boone's Farm isn't it? I hope all the street people/bums will stand in sears
next time Apprentice is on and learn how to make some money with a little of nothing. By the way, the girls won of
course.
Posted by: cj on Jan 09, 04 | 8:30 am | Profile
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Delivering the Goods
Jennifer Flowers joins musical production! Words are she has an amazing talent!
BOOBS
Posted by: cj on Jan 09, 04 | 7:45 am | Profile
[1] comments (222 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Pete Roseland
In a FANTASTIC piece by Wall Street Journal editor Daniel Henninger, he trashes the likes of Mad-Donna, Andy
and Lea Fastow and others while making a tremendous and final point about Pete Rose and his delusional new book.
The article (which is fully displayed in "More of this Spew Dumbass") is a bit long, but is definately worth the read.
The article hits it right on the head of the nail! More...
Posted by: FloridaBill on Jan 09, 04 | 7:36 am | Profile
[0] comments (230 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Levi's Are Done...
I'll never buy another pair of Levi's. You can thank Walmart for this:
Levi Strauss Closes Last Two U.S. Plants
SAN ANTONIO — Levi Strauss & Co., the California Gold Rush outfitter whose blue jeans are a globally recognized symbol
of America, closed its last two U.S. sewing plants Thursday.
About 800 workers at the 26-year-old San Antonio plants lost their jobs in the move, which was announced last
September.
The financially troubled company, based in San Francisco, has been shifting production to overseas contractors for years
to offset drooping sales in the ultra-competitive apparel market. Only two decades ago, it had 63 U.S. manufacturing
plants.
Levi Strauss spokesman Jeff Beckman said the 150-year-old company was making a delayed but unavoidable business
decision.
Read The Rest At FoxNews
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 09, 04 | 6:57 am | Profile
[10] comments (356 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
Director Digs Moon!
Yarbz Caption: Famed and admired nice guy and film director, Seven Spielberg, digs a hole on the lunar surface at the
request of Gooonkflorb Mongmong, the dictator who runs all moon affairs. The reason for the hole was not known. Mr.
Spielberg, while scouting a site for a new film, "The Weightless Adventures of Gandhi", met Mr. Mongmong for a small
dinner where the respected director demanded that the infamous moon tyrant adhere to Earth's human rights laws.
Mongmong, who loves Spielberg’s films, agreed to free the rocks currently imprisoned in the Stalag of Tranquility in return
for a co-staring role as Gandhi’s side kick, Talking Steak. Mr. Spielberg begins filming as soon as he kick Yarbz ass.
Original Caption: Astronaut Harrison Schmitt collects rock samples on the lunar surface during the Apollo 17 mission, the
last manned mission to the Moon in 1972. President George W. Bush could make a major announcement about the US space
program next week, amid reports he could propose a new manned mission to the Moon and eventually to Mars(AFP/NASA
(news - web sites)/File)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 09, 04 | 6:57 am | Profile
[1] comments (293 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Life Unfair to Beer Wench!
Be My Beer Ho!
Some times India is just not with it man. The 'Beer Wench' is a very important part of life. Besides, chances are that if
they are not gainfully employed as beer wenches, they may be prostitutes or something. Maybe, if things really get bad for
them they would ever watch Spielberg movies with monkeys and spank them during the scary parts.
Caption: Australian police have warned 'beer wenches' -- scantily-clad women hired by cricket fans to queue at the bar for
alcohol -- that they would not be welcome at the one-day international series with India. Here a lady in a beer can
bikini(AFP/File/Wolfgang Kumm)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 09, 04 | 6:52 am | Profile
[5] comments (700 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Protestors Without Brains:
Get Out Of Vietnam!
These pissy pants retards live in the past. Whatever their complaints might have been they can't live in today's reality.
They also still protest about the Vietnam War, err, Conflict, they listen to Mantovani LP's, still go shopping for 8-track
tapes, save their files on 5" floppy disks, wear missile tit bras, still consider France an ally, still want Boston to trade to
get Babe Ruth back, think McArthur should be in command in Iraq, use asbestos to insulate their home, like the way lead
paint lasts on window sills, can't wait for the Farrah Faucett Playboy to come out and think masturbation make you go blind.
These turd cropping underwear filling freaks also sit on their couch and watch old Spielberg movies until they get fat.
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 09, 04 | 6:36 am | Profile
[1] comments (349 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Thu Jan 08, 2004
SHITY POLICE WORK STIRKES AGAIN
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 08, 04 | 7:27 pm | Profile
[3] comments (315 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
NO THEY HAVE GONE TO FAR
Maybe they should just give everyone a pot to piss in.
More bullshit here...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 08, 04 | 6:23 pm | Profile
[1] comments (263 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Asses Everywhere
I wish the people around here had better looking asses. I am currently looking at 3 people bent over by the copier
trying to find the jammed paper. Why does it take 3 people anyway? Imagine 3 asses pointed at you. What if one of
them farts? I have to write about them just to get the view out of my eyes. EEEWW I wish it were the
maintenance man bent over trying to fix it. He has the best ass.
Posted by: cj on Jan 08, 04 | 2:57 pm | Profile
[10] comments (358 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
What the hell is that green thing under my wiper?
The parking situation around here sucks! Many of us do the parking shuffle to avoid the ten mile walk from the
parking lots. We park at the capitol where it's 3 hours free. Here is how it works.
One of us will check within the 3 hours for chalked tires. If chalked the person screams as soon as she hits our
office door. We haul our lazy butts out there to either roll, wipe the mark off, or exchange places.
Exchanging places takes much courage! To effectively get the spot you are trading your spot for it is necessary to
block off all incoming circle traffic in order to save the spot that is to be yours. The designated first mover will
drive wildly backward or forward until properly positioned for the other to move to the newly vacant spot. Once
everyone is safely in a fresh spot, the blocked off drivers can continue on their way. Most give you the finger and
yell names that are just not fitting for classy ladies such as ourselves.
Another good way to get the chalk mark off is to throw any remaining coffee from your go cup on the tire. (Never
waste a beer that you had on the way to work on chalked tires). I saw the governor taking a whizz on his chalk mark
yesterday.
We are not sending blind girl to check tires anymore. I got a fucking ticket. I'm shoving this ticket up her nose.
Posted by: cj on Jan 08, 04 | 12:59 pm | Profile
[8] comments (264 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
All Hail Robert Duvall
Robert Duvall Slams Spielberg
From CNN
LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Actor Robert Duvall probably won't be making any movies for DreamWorks any time
soon.
In a CBS "60 Minutes II" interview set for broadcast Wednesday, the Oscar-winning performer sharply criticized
filmmaker and DreamWorks SKG studio co-founder Steven Spielberg for visiting Cuba in November 2002.
"Spielberg went down there recently and said, 'The best seven hours I ever spent was actually with Fidel Castro.' Now,
what I want to ask him, ... 'Would you consider building a little annex on the Holocaust museum, or at least across the
street, to honor the dead Cubans that Castro killed.' That's very presumptuous of him to go there," Duvall told Charlie
Rose, according to excerpts of the interview released by CBS.
The actor, who won an Academy Award for his role in the 1983 film "Tender Mercies," added, "I'll never work at
DreamWorks again, but I don't care about working there anyway."
More...
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 11:52 am | Profile
[18] comments (429 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Welfare Jokers
My job involves Administrative Hearings for welfare recipients. Just had to share something from one of this
mornings hearings with everyone. This Claimant received a $60,000 settlement recently so he was told he was not
eligible for food stamps anymore. He was asked in the hearing if he really received this settlement, to which he
replied yes, but I still want food stamps if I can get them. Without hesitation came these words "Are you kidding
me, you have $60,000 in the bank and you still expect food stamps. Well I can almost guarantee you that you will
not be getting food stamps." Get outta here! Next idiot please!
Posted by: cj on Jan 08, 04 | 9:48 am | Profile
[16] comments (320 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Fat? Lazy? Skanky? Sue your cable company!
I saw this on a British news site and couldn't resist.
Once again, this is America and you can sue anyone for anything, but this is a tad ridiculous. More...
Posted by: FloridaBill on Jan 08, 04 | 9:27 am | Profile
[9] comments (289 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Posted For FB:
Sad Ham Pig Butt
Wow!
Caption: A photograph purporting to show Saddam Hussein being dragged from his squalid hide-out has been published on
the internet.
Unofficial US army website www.military.com published the picture which was reportedly taken by a US soldier.
It appears to contradict the official version of Saddam's arrest in which he was said to have given himself up without a
struggle.
In the photograph, he is pictured pinned to the ground by a GI who the former dictator had allegedly spat at moments
earlier. His face is in the dirt and his arms appear to be bound behind his back.
US military spokesman refused to confirm whether or not the pictures were genuine but said it was possible.
"A lot of soldiers carry happy snappy cameras with them," the spokesman said.
Saddam was arrested after he was found in a 6ft by 3ft hidey-hole at Ad Dawr, near Tikrit, by US soldiers last month.
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 9:25 am | Profile
[6] comments (273 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Real Man's Football:
Here comes the cold just in time for the Patriots vs. Titans game. I guess McNair will be creaking pretty bad inthis
weather.
From the Weather Channel:
Sat, Jan 10: Partly Cloudy 13°/2°
Keep in mind it's a night game so if there is any wind the wind chills will be well into the below zero range. Win or lose, all
those dudes will earn their money saturday!
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 8:50 am | Profile
[2] comments (248 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
LIAR!
This guy is engaged to marry one of my co-workers. I am shocked that he has ruined his career, had the audacity
to commit perjury, incarcerated people who may have been innocent, caused great county expenditures in freeing
them from prison/releasing from probations, and now the payouts on the lawsuits that followed. I'd like to knock
some sense into my co-worker so she will wake up and realize this guy is a loser.
DIRTYCOP
Posted by: cj on Jan 08, 04 | 8:43 am | Profile
[4] comments (275 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Famous Patton Movie Speech:
Here is the best opening movie speech ever. Did Patton actually say these things? I don't know and I don't care,
it's a great and motivational bunch of words.
________________
As performed by the great George C. Scott in the opening scene of "Patton":
Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making
the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about America not wanting
to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All
real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter,
the fastest runner, the big league ball player, the toughest boxer. Americans love a winner and will not
tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and
laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing
is hateful to Americans.
Now, an Army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap.
The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know
anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.
We have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit and the best men in the world. You know, by God I
actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to shoot the
bastards, we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We’re
going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel.
Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry
about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill
their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was
your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.
Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are
holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re
not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and
we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go
through him like crap through a goose.
There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it.
Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks
you what did you do in the great World War II, you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."
Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys
into battle – anytime, anywhere.
That’s all.
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 7:48 am | Profile
[1] comments (242 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
Give Him A Big Hand...
Oh, don't bother, he's already got one you see.
Yarbz Caption: Democratic presidential hopeless, John Kerry, shows off his new hand he received during a 13 hour surgical
operation at Massachusetts General Hospital Wednesday evening. The hand, which Kerry has nicknamed his "monster
orgasm maker" will come in handy if he ever gets elected to the Presidency. His other hand was not large enough, in his
opinion, to satisfy the needs of the interns he hopes to employ. Kerry stated his goal was to make all memories of Bill
Clinton fade as he learns to use his new hand properly. When asked about the size of his member, Kerry would only say
that he was hopeful that he would someday find it.
Original Caption: Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator John Kerry (D-MA) waves to an onlooker as he boards his
campaign bus after a speech in Bedford, New Hampshire, January 7, 2003. Kerry outlined a plan to protect workers' rights
as a new poll showed him slipping further behind in New Hampshire's first state primary later this month. Building on
economic initiatives announced on Monday, Kerry proposed creating a White House 'pocketbook watchdog' to guard
Americans' pensions, protect their personal information from identify theft and ensure fair lending and housing.
REUTERS/Brian Snyder
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 6:42 am | Profile
[3] comments (263 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Sugar Addict!
I was getting my morning coffee and got my large cup and started pumping the coffee. The lady next to me,
obviously not a corporate person, possibly semi-homeless or mental or something, filled her cup only half way.
I thought to myself, ‘wow, she likes cream!’ I continued to pump the coffee as I watched this crazy lady turn over
the glass container, eight inch tall sugar container, over to sweeten her coffee. I watched amazed as she let it
pour into her coffee, and pour and pour. She literally used a quarter of the container. I was so amazed I forget I
was pumping my coffee and I over-filled my cup and splashed all over my hand and the counter. The crazy woman
looked at me like I was stupid. I was dumbfounded and in shock and awe because of what I saw.
Remember the scene from Dirty Harry where he is in San Francisco and he walks into the coffee shop to get
coffee and there are three evil doers who were in the middle of robbing the place. He didn't know and the lady
kept putting sugar in his coffee and kept pouring and kept pouring to get his attention until he left. I thought of
this scene when I watched her. Crazy man!
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 6:32 am | Profile
[0] comments (204 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
This Week In Rock:
Thanks to Musciansfriend.com:
This is the week that was in matters musical...
1957, Elvis takes the army pre-induction exam in Memphis on his 22nd birthday and passes...
1966, the final episode of "Shindig" airs featuring the Kinks and The Who...
1968, Bob Dylan is elected president, Paul Butterfield vice-president, and George Harrison is elected U.N.
ambassador ... the election is a grass-ballot held by San Francisco's KMPX-FM, a "pioneering underground" radio
station ... Aretha Franklin earns her fourth gold single with "Chain of Fools" ... the song will later win a Grammy for
Best R&B Performance by a Female ... this same week, The Supremes appear on the TV show "Tarzan" in unlikely
roles as a group of nuns ... also this week, Jimi Hendrix, who has just moved into the home where Handel composed
his "Water Music," tells The London Daily Mirror that he will maintain tradition by composing there...
1970, Max Yasgur is sued by his neighbors for property damage they suffered during the 1969 Woodstock
Festival...
1973, Elvis sues Priscilla for divorce ... Eric Clapton plays a comeback concert at the Rainbow Theatre in London...
More...
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 08, 04 | 6:28 am | Profile
[2] comments (363 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Wed Jan 07, 2004
BALLS!!! BIG BIG BALLS!!!
I love this guy!!! Unlike the other pussies who are running, he gets it. I had the fortune to serve under him twice,
and I can tell you if Carl wants some...
Clarks nuts...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 07, 04 | 4:59 pm | Profile
[6] comments (320 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
50 ways to help a diet, MY ASS!
Fucking Diet Commentary
My buddy FB sent a link to me regarding 50 diet tips that was on yahoo news. They were fucking retarded. I have made a
few comments on them:
1. Take three bites less of everything. Three bites less of a typical fast-food burger will save you 100 calories, while
leaving a couple of bites on your plate at each meal will spare you significant calories. Since our portions are almost always
more than we need, you won't even notice.
Send the food to Ethiopia or something. Why not just cook three bits less? This idea is a very elitist way of
dieting. Let's just cook ten bits more and leave ten bites on the plate, that way you'll lose pounds fast while
staying full!
2. Streamline your pizza. By cutting out the cheese and meat toppings, and subbing extra sauce and veggies, you'll save
about 100 calories per slice.
Well, why not cut the dough with your cheese and meat? Or, just eat fucking vegetable and skip the pizza? Send
the money you save to Ethiopia or some farmer who had his herd “thinned” by the feds killing of his mad cows.
Christ! WTF? Order a pizza and hold the cheese and meat? That ain’t a pizza.
There's more in the following spew link...
More...
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 07, 04 | 2:47 pm | Profile
[21] comments (468 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Here's a Laugh
A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is
your Captain. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you
enjoy your stay in Toronto."
He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in Toronto?"
"Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap.....then I'm gonna take that new
stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner..... then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and
bang her all night."
Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisles trying to get a look at the
new stewardess.
Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so embarrassed that she starts to run to try
and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down
she goes.
The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry dear. He's gotta take a shit first."
Posted by: cj on Jan 07, 04 | 2:12 pm | Profile
[2] comments (236 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
PRISON BOUND
This couple caused the financial collapse of Enron and are now plea bargaining for prison sentences. WTF! I'm sick
of plea bargaining. Put them in front of a bulldozer and flatten the fuckers.
FASTOW
Posted by: cj on Jan 07, 04 | 1:52 pm | Profile
[7] comments (256 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
DORK FACE ALERT!
Beware of Dork!
D orky
E ccentric
A ss
N ibbler
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 07, 04 | 12:01 pm | Profile
[2] comments (233 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
IS ANYONE REALLY WORKING TODAY?
This place sure is busy!!!
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 07, 04 | 10:30 am | Profile
[12] comments (289 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Star Wars: The Return of the Emperor!
"In time you will call me Master!"
Oh my God! The Emperor has returned to kill more little monkey/teddy bear
looking Ewok bastards on that crazed planet Endor!
Caption: Home coming : An Iraqi refugee woman who claimed to be 120 but refused to be identified, reacts as she arrives
at the port of Basra after living in exhile in Iran. (AFP/Mauricio Lima)
I would tend to believe her about her age.
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 07, 04 | 10:25 am | Profile
[7] comments (283 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Dumb Grotesque Skank:
How to Tell a Skank:
In her other hand, there is a warm Budweiser. What a skank. Double extra
skank...
Caption: A woman smokes a cigarette as she holds an ice-cream cone in downtown Rome, Friday, July 26, 2002. Women who
smoke may have a far higher risk of breast cancer than those who do not, or those who once smoked but quit, U.S.
researchers reported on Tuesday. (AP Photo/Marianna Bertagnolli)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 07, 04 | 10:20 am | Profile
[7] comments (335 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
Vee Kill You!
Yarbz Caption: Arnold Schwarzenegger delivers his first state Address at the Sacramento State Assembly Chamber in
California. Mr. Schwarzenegger told it like it is to the over-spending , irresponsible members of the Assembly. "I vill mayk
maahsive cuts in zee budget. You Baastards and Beeches have spent za money in ze irresponsible vay. You vill now do as I
say you vill do. Vee shall not put up vit any more bull sheet from you faahkers. Anyvun who duz not see it zis vay must die. I
vill do zee killing now." Nobody disagreed with the Governor, and nobdy spoke. California will have to go without kissing the
asses of illegal aliens and Democratic votes bought from poor people with tax money.
Original Caption: California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger delivers his first State address at the Sacramento State
Assembly Chamber, January 6, 2004. Schwarzenegger, in his most important speech so far as governor, warned that he will
have to make massive spending cuts and secure passage of a $15 billion bond plan to save California from going into
bankruptcy in June. (Kimberly White/Reuters)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 07, 04 | 10:03 am | Profile
[1] comments (263 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
My Fun Tongue
Click below:
Tongue
Posted by: cj on Jan 07, 04 | 9:34 am | Profile
[2] comments (274 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Some things never change!!!
When presented with a choice, Toby just couldn't make up his mind.
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 07, 04 | 9:09 am | Profile
[3] comments (263 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Talk about out of left field.
This is one of the last things I ever thought I would see...
You go Joe...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 07, 04 | 8:40 am | Profile
[13] comments (299 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Arkansas 86's Mentally Ill Murderer
Here is Charles Singleton: mentally ill, convicted murderer and put to death yesterday in Arkansas by lethal
injection. Why do they put the guy in a sterile room, prep his arm with alcohol, then inject him with a lethal cocktail
of drugs to kill him? I have no problem with his execution, but as Yarbz points out, why don't we just put them
under the Space Shuttle when it is taking off and then we don't have to waste money on sterile rooms and swabs
and the like. We could probably do about 30 or 40 convicted murderers at once. We even save on burial expenses. I
also don't get why we are infatuated with what a death row inmate has as their last meal. Unless it was Brittany
Jean Spears, I don't wanna hear it. More...
Posted by: FloridaBill on Jan 07, 04 | 7:58 am | Profile
[9] comments (304 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
BB Natural Selection Corner
The Article
Well this week we have two winners a mother and son team!
VANCOUVER, Wash. - A man got his mother to try to post bail with $500 in poorly made counterfeit bills from his
wallet, city police and Clark County authorities say.
The episode began when Trilane A. Ludwig, 24, of Vancouver, was arrested after a traffic stop early New Year's
Day for reasons that were not given in a police report. More...
Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 07, 04 | 6:34 am | Profile
[1] comments (220 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Thieves vanish with a fortune in ladies underwear
CARACAS (AFP) - A gang of thieves robbed a Caracas boutique of a small fortune in ladies underwear during New
Year's festivities.
Thieves forced the doors of El Palacio de Blumer (The Bloomer Palace) on Sabana Grande Boulevard in central
Caracas sometime between New Year's Eve and January 1, police told the daily El Mundo.
The thieves made off with a load of panties, brassieres and lingerie, police said.
Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 07, 04 | 6:32 am | Profile
[4] comments (242 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Hillary Watch
Article
Hillary Clinton Regrets Gandhi Joke at Fund-raiser
St. Louis (AP) - Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton apologized for joking that Mahatma Gandhi used to run a gas station in
St. Louis, saying it was "a lame attempt at humor."
The New York Democrat made the remark at a fund-raiser Saturday. During an event here for Senate candidate
Nancy Farmer, Clinton introduced a quote from Gandhi by saying, "He ran a gas station down in St. Louis." More...
Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 07, 04 | 6:29 am | Profile
[6] comments (600 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Tue Jan 06, 2004
WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?
A woman was taken off a flight from Paris to Cincinnati on Tuesday because of suspicious wires in her coat but
security officials later determined she was not a threat.
Still, out of an abundance of caution, U.S. officials said they planned to re-screen passengers and baggage aboard
Delta Flight 43 after its landing, scheduled for around 3:40 p.m. EST Tuesday.
Transportation Security Administration spokeswoman Jenifer Marty said the plane would be kept away from the
terminal.
A Homeland Security official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said a passenger was taken off the plane before
it departed from France because of concerns about the wires. It later was learned the wires were part of her
leather motorcycle jacket.
Posted by: cj on Jan 06, 04 | 2:25 pm | Profile
[8] comments (278 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Pete Rose
OK, here is the place to lay it down, to get it off your chests. Let's here what you Juggies think about Pete Rose.
I was a kid in Tampa when I first encountered Charlie Hustle. The Reds had spring training every year down there.
We went and saw cheap games with the likes of Johnny Bench, Joe Morgan and of course, Pete. He was awesome:
always on base; always running, even when he got walked. His glove was pretty good too. He was no less than great.
Here is a guy destined for the Hall of Fame. He still holds the record for the most base hits.
That is, until he gets cornered for betting on baseball and agrees to a lifetime ban from the sport, including any
eligibility for the Hall of Fame. He AGREED to it. He then spends the next 14 years lying about whether or not he
bet on baseball. Not until this week does he come clean. Try this one that calls Rose what he is, a big fat liar. Or
this one from the Reds Enquirer that gives a time line for Rose's career. This one stops just short of changing
Rose's nick-name to Charlie Hustler.
Rob Dibble @ ESPN thinks he should get in now(see the full article in More of this Spew). I do not.
This is a punishment metered out by the folks who supervise and control baseball. Rose AGREED to the ban when it
was imposed. I agree that he should be in the Hall of Fame, but he has to get dead first. More...
Posted by: FloridaBill on Jan 06, 04 | 12:11 pm | Profile
[18] comments (431 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Proud to be an American
One Texas soldier was sent to his burial in style. We should all be proud.
LINK HERE
Posted by: cj on Jan 06, 04 | 10:52 am | Profile
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YOU JUST CAN'T DRIVE DRUNK
From my perspective, Diana and Dodi died in a car crash as a result of extremely high speed in a tunnel. It didn't
help that the lovely couple were in the backseat making out which was distracting the drunken driver.
How could it have been such a foul proof plot to kill the couple with all the reporters around to witness the crash?
Was the driver a terrorist?
The rumor mill claims Diana was pregnant and they were heading to the Little Chapel in Las Vegas to get married.
Below is the official inquest into their death paperwork. I couldn't get a copy of the marriage license. Sorry.
LINK HERE!
Posted by: cj on Jan 06, 04 | 8:14 am | Profile
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YES YES YES YES
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 06, 04 | 7:50 am | Profile
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Good E-mail
Got an e-mail from my dad. I usually don't post this stuff but I couldn't resist.
"A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat,
but her father was a staunch Republican. One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition
to high taxes and welfare programs. He stopped her and asked how she was doing in school. She answered that she
had a 4.0 GPA, but it was really tough. She had to study all the time and never had time to go out and party. She
didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of spending all her time
studying. On top of that, the part-time job her father insisted she keep left absolutely no time for anything else.
He asked, 'How is your friend Mary?' She replied that Mary was barely getting by. She had a 2.0 GPA, never
studied, but was very popular on campus, didn't have a job, and went to all the parties. To view the rest of the
joke:
More...
Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 06, 04 | 7:19 am | Profile
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Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
Heinz on Kerry's Meat!
Yarbz caption: John Kerry's wife, T. Heinz Kerry, watches him like a hawk as Bill Clinton introduces him to some of his
former White House interns during the White House Intern Reunion and Wet T-shirt Contest. Heinz has been quoted
stating, "I will always be on his meat, from his hotdog to his meatballs. I'll be his favorite spread and no intern shall cum
between us." Heinz controls her man with sharp claws, steel eyed stares and biting teeth. Heinz, is also known for her very
friendly face and smile, and is shown here during one of those famous smiling moments.
Original Caption Theresa Heinz Kerry, wife of Democratic presidential candidate Massachusetts Senator John Kerry
introduces her husband at a campaign event in Des Moines, Iowa January 5, 2004. Kerry proposed a $25 billion package to
aid states and recharge the economy. REUTERS/Rick Wilking
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 06, 04 | 6:57 am | Profile
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Bush Tries LSD, Sees Trails:
Bush Amazed By Effects of LSD!
Caption: President Bush is greeted at a political fundraiser at the America Center, Monday, Jan. 5, 2004, in St. Louis. The
event is expected to raise $2.8 million for his re-election campaign . (AP Photo/Lawrence Jackson)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 06, 04 | 6:54 am | Profile
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Harassed 'Saddam' Seeks New Name
Article from Yahoo
I hope this guy was drunk when he named his kid. Wait he can't drink so he must have been sober.
Can you say Dumbass!
Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 06, 04 | 6:53 am | Profile
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Ozzy
"I'll never go near one of those damn bikes again ... I am lucky to be here today and not paralyzed."
-- OZZY OSBOURNE, who fractured eight ribs and a vertebra after falling off his quad bike, in Britain's Sunday
Mirror.
Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 06, 04 | 6:48 am | Profile
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Hey World! Deal With It!
You Don't Have to Come!
With all the whining and moaning about our new security policy, you'd think that people would just not come. OK! That's it.
don't come or shut the fook up! We don't care. we are at war and if you can't allow yourself to be photographed, touch
shit! Maybe we should charge the country of origin for any damages that occur as a result of anyone entering our country
from that particular country. If some idiot comes from Brazil, performs an act of terror, or fellatio for that matter, we
bill Brazil for all consequential damages. If they don't pay, we go get the money.
Caption: A US Customs and Border Protection officer uses the new US-VISIT biometric program on a visitor from Brazil.
The US began taking photographs and fingerprints of most arriving foreigners as part of a heightened anti-terrorist
campaign, but its demand for armed sky marshalls on flights stirred new international controversy(AFP/Getty Images/Erik
S. Lesser)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 06, 04 | 6:44 am | Profile
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Mon Jan 05, 2004
Incoming
Hard to believe US Customs is beginning to fingerprint and photograph new immigrants. The US should have
treated them like regular American citizens a long time ago. When I was born, fingerprints, footprints and photo
were taken immediately. Blood was also drawn to determine my blood type (DNA is on file for everyone probably).
There should not be any complaints from the immigrants.... the footprinting and blood giving we are forced to go
through with our American newborns, then and now, is not being demanded from the incoming aliens.
Posted by: cj on Jan 05, 04 | 5:29 pm | Profile
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Experience Eagles!
I am lucky to live in Missouri, second only to Alaska for wintering bald eagles. I spent a lot of time this weekend
watching them, seeing them dive for fish and mating. Wish everyone had the opportunity to sit in my wonderful
viewing spot, 40 feet above the Osage River where the Eagles are almost eye level. Absolutely gorgeous. I thought
I seen Buddha hugging a tree down below!
Posted by: cj on Jan 05, 04 | 2:48 pm | Profile
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Spirit of Mars!
In order for me to drive this thing I'd have to have a few drinks just to calm my nerves. One wrong turn and it's
history......crash would be even more remembered than the landing probably. What a great landing it was!
Congratulations NASA team!
IMAGE!
Posted by: cj on Jan 05, 04 | 2:42 pm | Profile
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Now I'm scared!!!
Howard Dean's response when asked how he would beat Dennis Kusinich if he was the only other Democrat in the
race. When asked how he would beat General Wesley Clark, Dean responded, "Well-umm-well you know when I was
governer of Vermont -"
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 05, 04 | 11:07 am | Profile
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BB Natural Selection Corner 2003 Golden Butt Award Nominees
I had a hard time deciding which idiot deserved the prestigious Golden Butt Award for 2003. Not surprisingly two
of my nominees are also selected to the Darwin Awards. Here are the nominees:
1) Saddam Hussein– This one needs no links.
2) Why don’t you do it in the road?
Article
3) All things Must Pass
Article
Help me to pick the winner. Please everyone who visits leave your vote and reason in the See What Others Oozed
section.
Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 05, 04 | 10:27 am | Profile
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Numb Nuts Dude of the Day:
"I Ate A Baby!"
Why did he do this? He is a pretty interesting dude, but he musta' got jealous of MJ's bad press. The croc, like Fat
Bastard, wants to eat that baby. The hell with that food in the other hand... Luckily, baby didn't get eaten. Dumb and
numb!
Caption: Australian Steve Irwin, famous for his TV show 'The Crocodile Hunter' cradles his month-old son, Robert, under
one arm and feeds piece of meat to a 13-foot crocodile in an image from television during Friday Jan. 2, 2004, at his
Australia Zoo reptile park in Brisbane, Australia. (AP Photo/Channel 7 via APTN)
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 05, 04 | 10:18 am | Profile
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Mre of the Same at Democratic Debate:
Sophomoric Antics!
"Pull my finger butt hole"
"No way assbag!"... Need I say more?
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 05, 04 | 10:15 am | Profile
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Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
Free Shelby!
Yarbz Caption: Ford Motor Company has introduced the new Ford Shelby Juggernut. Ford has promised to deliver one free
Shelby Juggernut to the member of Juggernuts.com with the most interesting, funny and insightful post buy the end of
2004. This concept car features and passenger side Democrat detector and auto-ejection seat set up to eject any
democrat riding in the seat while you go through an underpass. Helmut not included.
Original Caption: Ford Motor Company introduce's the new Ford Shelby Cobra concept during the press day at the North
American International Auto Show in Detroit, Michigan, January 4, 2004. The concept features a 6.4-liter engine, with
605 horsepower and 501 foot-pounds of torque. The car gets its name from Carroll Shelby, the biggest name in American
auto racing in the 1960s and a Ford icon for the ages. REUTERS/Rebecca Cook
Posted by: Yarbz on Jan 05, 04 | 10:05 am | Profile
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NO TITLE NEEDED!!!!
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 05, 04 | 5:14 am | Profile
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Sat Jan 03, 2004
Dumbass High-Dives into Muddy Tiber
From CNN
ROME, Italy (Reuters) -- Four Romans braved the chill to dive 52 feet (17 meters) off a bridge into the muddy
River Tiber to mark a New Year tradition on Thursday.
A crowd of hundreds cheered the divers as they flung themselves off the Cavour Bridge into the swirling river
that winds through Rome.
Italian diver Aldo Corrieri, 40, dedicated the event, which has taken place since 1946, to world peace.
"I'm dedicating this to peace in the world and to the hope that these terrorist attacks stop -- these attacks that
make humanity live in terror," he told Reuters Television.
But fellow diver Maurizio Palmoni, in his late sixties, who has taken part for the past 16 years and is not sure
whether he will be back next year, was less concerned about world peace.
"This year I'm dedicating my dive to myself," he said.
Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 03, 04 | 10:07 am | Profile
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What happened to Repulican Philosophy???
I have ALWAYS thought that smaller government and states right are VERY important. Along with Constitutional
rights given to the federal government. These are NOT Repulican moves, and it makes me question who is running
the party now, and what happened.
How very Democratic...
Posted by: The Theorist on Jan 03, 04 | 2:24 am | Profile
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Fri Jan 02, 2004
VICTORIA'S SECRET
Just a thought, new thongs from Victoria's Secret have cloth in the front and beads in the back. Would you want
to have a beaded weggie? Or worst yet, be standing next to your department's director and the beads break and
fall from under your skirt to the floor? Explain that. Hmmm?
Posted by: cj on Jan 02, 04 | 2:56 pm | Profile
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RIP-OFF MECHANICS
I want to kick some major ass...place a man's balls in a snapping turtle's clutch..pour honey on this idiot and tie him
to a red fire ant hole. I mean I am pissed off. I paid to have my car's transmission rebuilt, got a six month
warranty, and thought all was fine..until my front end locked up while I was luckily going 30 mph instead of the 80 I
was doing five minutes before. The next day I called the idiot mechanic who said he'd honor the warranty. It took
him a week to get my car picked up and towed to his shop and that was only after I threatened lawsuit, reporting
to better business bureau, demanded a refund and went to his place to kick his ass. Prior to him even towing my car
back for the work...Get this he offered to trade me a Ford INSTEAD of fixing my toyota! WTF!!! That pissed me
off. If I wanted a Ford I would have bought a Ford! He never fixed my car but he put in a used transmission and
everything seems to being working okay, but a rebuild job is suppose to be like new -- isn't it? To top it all off
after I got the first work done on the car I got a new set of tires too, thinking a trip to ocean would be wonderful
and wanted my car in shape. Something wasn't right with the tires after a short time and I returned to the tire
store where I am told my tires were wore out in 8,000 miles and they were 50,000 mile tires. Okay, tire failure and
I get four more for a small fee. Now I know why the tires wore out. The guy who towed my car to get first work
done on transmission towed it wrong and now my alignment is screwed. Why can't people do quality work anymore...
what happened to customer satisfaction, quality over quantity? I need to go now and kick the tow guys ass. This
flare up of memory was caused by a man who came in wanting to talk to an attorney about his tune up that cost him
$215 and on Christmas his car wouldn't start because the rotor screw had broken off and it had to be tapped out
costing him another $120 for a total price of $335 for a tune up. Hello man, we do child support and benefit
hearings here, these attorneys aren't free even if your brother does work here. I have a hang over and I came to
work when the weather is suppose to be 70 degrees on January 2nd in the middle of Missouri. My day sucks!
Posted by: cj on Jan 02, 04 | 1:29 pm | Profile
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Thu Jan 01, 2004
British spies warned of U.S. plans to invade Arab states
British spies warned of U.S. plans to invade Arab states. That's the Headline with a picture of Richard Nixon
and alledged details of a plan to invade the Middle-East. I am outraged and demand that they send this to
Showtime immediately!
Posted by: FloridaBill on Jan 01, 04 | 3:23 pm | Profile
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Weird and Wacky Reigned Supreme in 2003
Happy New Year Everyone! I am nursing a hangover today and suspect some of my fellow JuggHeads are doing the
same. Thought I'd kick off the year with a nice article reviewing 2003 so enjoy!
Weird and Wacky Reigned Supreme in 2003
Posted by: Spazticus on Jan 01, 04 | 11:31 am | Profile
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