Bradford Church of the Nazarene 2/16/14
Ruth 4: 1-17
Cars and Marriages;
More Alike Than You Thought
Last month I was talking to the mom of a young
adult daughter that tended to change cars whenever
there was a problem with hers. As we talked I stated
that moving on to a different car simply because
there is a relatively minor problem with your car isn’t
going to change anything because all cars need
regular maintenance to keep them functioning well.
In some ways a marriage and to a lesser degree
friendships are like cars. You have to work at
keeping them in good shape and when you
intentionally or unintentionally begin to neglect
regular maintenance issues, the system doesn’t work
as well until finally there is a total breakdown.
On rare occasions there may be a major breakdown
without warning. A few years ago Barb called me on
her way to work. The temperature gauge on her car
was abnormally high and slowly climbing. She had
been on the Interstate and approaching an exit so
she gotten off of the interstate and shut the car off.
As it turned out, the car had an internal water pump
that had been leaking. It had begun to leak but
because it was internal there was no external
evidence of a problem. There was no evidence of a
problem that is until the problem became critical.
Most problems in marriages and friendships like
problems with a car are minor and easily repaired if
they are taken care of properly and quickly; it’s
when “normal maintenance” is neglected that little
problems become major issues.
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Bradford Church of the Nazarene 2/16/14
Several years ago a friend of mine had a car that
liked oil even more than I like ice-cream. Once a
week he had to add a quart of oil to the engine and
as long as he done that, the car continued to run
well for him. Finally he sold the car being sure to tell
the young man that was purchasing the car about its
thirst for oil. The guy got a good deal on the car so
he figured he could buy oil for awhile until he got the
problem taken care of.
As some of you have already guessed, it takes more
than good intentions to keep a car running and it
takes more than good intentions to make a marriage
work. It didn’t take long before the young man
began procrastinating on the regular maintenance
that the car needed, in this case oil. There’s a
strange thing about engines and oil. You can’t
separate them because the engine gets cranky
almost immediately if you take away its friend the
oil.
Marriages and friendships like cars sometimes break
down. Sometimes they just need a little TLC, but
occasionally a marriage like a car requires a major
overhaul if it is ever going to work. One of the major
problems that couples face today is the same
problem that the young lady I mentioned earlier
faced; the disposable mindset that we live in.
With many of the things we use every day it’s now
cheaper and often more convenient to replace the
things that quite working than it is to have them
repaired. The disposable mindset has also crept into
marriages and family structures, so all too often
couples give up all too quickly rather than working to
repair the damage that has been done.
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Bradford Church of the Nazarene 2/16/14
A neglected car will soon become a car “with issues”
and the same is true with in marriage. A neglected
relationship will soon begin to “have issues” and
minor issues eventually turn into major issues when
they are ignored until finally someone begins to look
at “Trading”.
In today’s passage of scripture the three main
characters are all single. Naomi is an older Jewish
widow. Over ten years earlier her husband had
moved the family to Moab to escape the famine that
had devastated the land of Judah. Then the
unimaginable happened. Not only does her husband
Elimelech die, but sometime later on her two married
sons also die.
Naomi is living in grief while struggling with the
bitterness of her life situation. The second character
in the story is Ruth. Ruth is Naomi's daughter-in-law
and a young widow with no children. She has
relatives in Moab, but has developed a close
relationship with Naomi.
Ruth is also grieving, lonely, and uncertain about
what to do with her life. A middle-aged, single man
by the name of Boaz steps onto the scene as the
third character in the story. Boaz is a wealthy
Jewish landowner, probably much older than Ruth
who becomes her second husband.
While the book of Ruth has its cultural elements that
are strange to us, the overall flow of the story could
be played out in your life situation; hardship and loss
followed by a time of getting by day by day; then
finally, you see redemption taking place. Things turn
around and you are able to look back and see the
hand of God in your life.
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Bradford Church of the Nazarene 2/16/14
When there are children around you get accustomed
to having their handprints all over the place. When
you enjoy spending time with God you also get
accustomed to seeing His handprints all over the
place.
Thursday morning I was thinking about the students
that I would transport on the bus that day and one
particular student unexpectedly came to the top of
the list. As I often do before departing with the bus
I began to pray for the students but I also prayed
specifically for the one that came to mind.
While exiting the bus that morning the student very
simply and quietly said to me: God doesn’t seem real
to me. It’s nearly impossible to have a personal
discussion with anyone on the bus, but as I expected
He would, God provided an opportunity for a very
brief talk later that day.
I told this student how I had prayed specifically that
morning and stated that I know without any doubt in
my mind that the Lord is alive and working in
individual lives. Why? Because I see Him in action
nearly every day…….. I am expecting God to
continue to open doors of opportunity in this
student’s life as well as the life of others as well as in
marriages.
In Ruth chapter 4 we see that Boaz marries Ruth and
they go on to have a baby boy named Obed. You
may have notice in vs. 13 that the LORD enabled her
to conceive. What we are being told is that up to
that time, Ruth had been unable to conceive in
Moab. Why? God had a plan for Ruth’s life that we
had previously not been able to see. Her baby
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Bradford Church of the Nazarene 2/16/14
becomes the grandfather of King David who was an
ancestor to Joseph the earthly father of Christ.
There are several elements in the book of Ruth that
give us biblical guidance for our own life.
1- Naomi found contentment in remaining single.
Naomi had the right to asked Boaz to be her
redeemer, but knew that she could no longer have
children to carry on the family name.
By staying focused on the greater need and the
needs of others, Naomi made it possible for God to
redeem the entire situation in a way that had far
greater value, eternal value, than could ever have
been anticipated.
2- Throughout this book we also see that Ruth
remained focused on serving others while being open
to accepting Godly wisdom from those closest to her.
Ruth certainly faced obstacles in her life situation
and yet she remained focused on serving others. If
you want to have contentment in your life you have
to find it first in the place that you are; married or
single.
3- God uses those that go beyond what is expected
in being generous and kind. It doesn’t matter if you
are married, single, widowed or divorced, it you are
not content in who you are and where you are at in
life, you will never find contentment by jumping into
a new situation before God has blessed it.
In Philippians 4:12 the apostle Paul who was single
said: I have learned the secret of being content in
any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry,
whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do
everything through him who gives me strength.
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Bradford Church of the Nazarene 2/16/14
Paul was single, often alone, at times hungry,
deserted and even beat and abused but yet was
content because his focus wasn’t on himself but on
serving Christ. Ruth was also a person that found
contentment and fulfillment in being a servant to
others.
Paul said I can do everything through Him who gives
me strength Phil. 4:13. That doesn’t mean that Paul
was some kind of a movie super hero but it does
mean that he was able to accomplish everything that
God had called him to do. So if you are single, your
singleness does not define your ability to succeed or
to be fulfilled but your attitude does.
A cardiologist was asked by a woman if he could fix
her husband’s heart condition to which he simply
said yes. Pressing for more information the woman
asked how much blood flow there would be after the
surgery to which the doctor answered: “As much as
he’ll ever need”.
Finally the woman asked: “What will my husband’s
quality of life be like” to which the surgeon said: “I
fix hearts; the quality of his life is up to him”.
The same thing is true for each of us whether we are
married or single. The quality of our life depends on
what we make of it and not on what other people
make for us. Living life is a choice that we make
regardless of the season or valley we are in.
The third character in the book of Ruth is Boaz.
Boaz had established himself as a generous man
with a kind heart that is ready to do what is right.
Did you notice that from the very beginning that
Boaz was giving more than he received?
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Bradford Church of the Nazarene 2/16/14
He not only allowed a foreigner to glean in his fields
but he also protected and provided over and above
for Ruth and Naomi. You might say that Boaz had
been feeding the needs, both physical and
emotional, of Ruth and Naomi long before there was
any thought or possibility of marriage.
Cars and relationships, motors and marriages, what
do they have in common? They all need consistent,
regular attention if they are going to continue to
function well.
If you are single, especially if you are divorced, don’t
pursue a relationship. If you are open to being
married, the Lord God will cause it to happen like He
did for Ruth, very naturally without you pushing the
issue before its time.
If you are single and seek contentment in being
single, the Lord God will also provide it and work
through it like we have seen in the life of Naomi.
If you are married, remember that relationships are
like motors and cars; you have to pay attention to
them in order to keep them from falling apart. Life
can sometimes be like the salt covered roads that we
have seen so much of this winter; hard on many of
the less obvious aspects of relationships.
Whether you are divorced, married or never married,
the book of Ruth was written for you. Learn to be
content wherever you find yourself in life. Learn to
be put others ahead of yourself without becoming
someone’s door mat. Learn how to bless the lives of
others without creating a sense of entitlement.
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Bradford Church of the Nazarene 2/16/14
Are you doing the very best that you can to not just
keep your marriage or friendship running, but are
you doing your part to keep it running in top
condition?
Relationships need to be tended to and the more
that you respond to them the better they will be. If
you are single, embrace being single knowing that if
it is your desire, God will provide for your desire in a
far better way than you could ever have if you run
ahead of His perfect timing.
Naomi was told in vs. 15: your daughter-in-law, who
loves you and who is better to you than seven sons…
That was a tremendous statement for the life and
character of Ruth. If your life’s story were to be
written today, what would it say about your life and
heart? Are you allowing God to work in and through
your life to bring about the redemption that is
needed?
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