Reverse your arthritis Deepu Nagrani Copyright © 2014 by Deepu Nagrani. All rights reserved. Any unauthorized copying, duplicating or forwarding of this book, will be strictly prohibited and punishable by law. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, digital, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or recording or otherwise or conveyed via the internet or a website without prior written permission of the author. This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. MEDICAL DISCLAIMER By law, I am not allowed to make any claims as to cures of any diseases. The contents of this book are based on my personal opinion and experiences and meant to be purely for educational and information purposes only. I feel this information should be made available to the public. This ebook is not designed to and does not provide medical advice, professional diagnosis, opinion, treatment or services to you or to any other individual. This ebook provides general information for educational purposes only. The information provided in this ebook, is not a substitute for medical or professional care, and you should not use the information in place of a visit, call consultation or the advice of your physician or other healthcare provider IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY, YOU SHOULD IMMEDIATELY CALL AN AMBULANCE OR YOUR PHYSICIAN. If you believe you have any other health problem, or if you have any questions regarding your health or a medical condition, you should promptly consult your physician or other healthcare provider. Never disregard medical or professional advice, or delay seeking it, because of something you read in this ebook. Never rely on information on this ebook in place of seeking professional medical advice. Medical information changes constantly. Therefore the information in this ebook should not be considered current, complete or exhaustive, nor should you rely on such information to recommend a course of treatment for you or any other individual. Reliance on any information provided in this ebook is solely at your own risk. Deepu Nagrani has written in good faith, however, no warranty or representation whatsoever is made that any of information this ebook is accurate. There is absolutely no assurance that any statement contained or cited in this ebook touching on medical and health matters is true, correct, precise, up-to-date or non misleading. The medical and health information provided in this ebook, is at best, of a general nature and cannot substitute for the advice of a medical professional (for instance, a qualified doctor/physician, nurse, pharmacist/chemist, and so on). Deepu Nagrani is not a doctor. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice or discontinue medical treatment because of information in this ebook. Nothing in this disclaimer will limit or exclude any liability for death or personal injury resulting from negligence. Deepu Nagrani does not guarantee: that you will get any results from this ebook. that your arthritis will be reversed that you will be healed from arthritis. Any changes in medicine, diet and exercise should be directed by a qualified health care professional. Nothing in this ebook should be construed as an attempt to offer or render a medical opinion or otherwise engage in the practice of medicine. By continuing to read this ebook you thus agree to accept all the above waivers of responsibility without prejudice. Dedication I wish to thank Edgar Cayce, a Medical Intuitive in the 1960’s. Without his knowledge of Castor oil, I would not know about its benefits and would have suffered years of pain from arthritis. INTRODUCTION This is a book about how I completely healed arthritis in my thumb and reversed most of the gout in my big toe. The arthritis came on very suddenly. The thumb got worse and worse, until I could barely use my left hand. This all happened in two weeks. I went to accident and emergency, but the doctor was at a loss as to what it could be, as I had no accident or visible injury. He took an X-ray. Nothing. He gave me a splint covering my whole hand, and a quarter of the way up my arm. I looked very disabled. The doctor arranged for me to see the hand unit, the next day. Their X-ray revealed arthritis. I was shocked. I was too young to have it. I immediately started using castor oil packs on my thumb. I then realised the swelling on my left big toe was probably also arthritis. (I later found out that my toe had gout, commonly called 'podagra' when it affects the big toe). It was severely swollen. Luckily, there was no pain. I threw away all my pointy shoes, as they could no longer fit, and I immediately started using castor oil packs on my big toe, too. One month later I had an ultra sound scan. This showed that the tendon was thin and “rupture imminent”. 12 months later: My thumb was completely back to normal. It probably took 3 months to heal; I just carried on with the packs. No pain or discomfort at all. My big toe was back to normal size. I wish I hadn't thrown away the pointy shoes! That was four and half years ago. Arthritis has never returned to my thumb since. I have never had to use castor oil since. The gout in my big toe has been pain free for this period. Though pain does return there if I stop massaging castor oil daily, and stop taking supplements. In this book, I will show you how to use castor oil packs for your arthritis, so that you too can get the same results that I had. I dealt with my arthritis at the early stages and so needed to apply the packs for a shorter time. If your arthritis has been ongoing for many years, it may mean you may have to apply the packs for a longer period. If your arthritis is very advanced, you may have to apply them for the rest of your life. Castor oil packs = relief of your pain. Join me in this journey, that can at the very least reduce your pain naturally, or at best completely rid you of arthritis! CHAPTER 1 About Castor Oil I found out about the use of castor oil for arthritis from Edgar Cayce, a medical intuitive who lived in America in the 1960’s. Castor oil is a vegetable oil. It has a pale, yellow color, with little or no odour. It is made from castor beans, grown primarily in India. In old herbal texts, it is called “Palma Christi” which is Latin for “Palm of Christ”. It probably got this name due to its remarkable healing properties Castor oil and its derivatives are used in the making of modern drugs, e.g. as an inhibitor for cancer in chemotherapy and HIV, as well as an immunosuppressant for organ transplants. It is also included in a topical ointment for skin ulcers. Castor oil’s therapeutic benefits have been known for over 3,000 years. Since ancient Egyptian times, it has been used medicinally in Egypt, China, Persia, Africa, Asia, Greece and Rome. Castor oil is well known for its use for children in de-worming, and its unpleasant taste when taken orally, but in this book, I recommend external use only. It contains a very high content of Riconeteic acid, which gives it anti - inflammatory and anti-bacterial qualities. The combination of Riconetiec acid, Oleic acid, Linoleic acid and other fatty acids contained in the castor oil, enable amazing results in aiding arthritis and relief from pain. These fatty acids increase lymphocyte production and activity of T cell lymphocytes, which aid healing of the body. The lymphocytes flush out unwanted foreign cells, drawing out the arthritis from the body. This is how Dr. Mercola explains it. (He is not a medical doctor). This is a quote from an article by him titled Castor oil may relieve arthritis, sciatica and back pain, taken from his website www.drmercola.com, April 2012: Arthritis causes joints to become painful, swollen or stiff. Castor oil packs enable lubrication of the joint, thus increasing circulation and reducing pain. Lymphocytes are your immune system’s disease-fighting cells and are produced and stored mainly in your lymphatic tissue, (thymus gland, spleen, and lymph nodes). Hundreds of miles of lymphatic tubules allow waste to be collected from your tissues and transported to your blood for elimination, a process referred to as lymphatic drainage. When your lymphatic system is not working properly, waste and toxins can build up and make you sick. Lymphatic congestion is a major factor leading to inflammation and disease. This is where castor oil comes in. When castor oil is absorbed through your skin (according to Cayce and McGarey),your lymphocyte count increases. Increased lymphocytes speed up the removal of toxins from your tissues, which promotes healing. How come I have never heard of castor oil before? Somewhere in history, it just stopped being well known. My guess is castor oil started going into the background at the time of the Industrial revolution. Natural healing methods, e.g. herbal medicine, started receding, to be replaced by more modern methods of healing; medicine was born, drugs started being manufactured. It was realised that these forms of medicines could have faster results. Also, there was big money for the drug companies. Today, the drug companies don’t want you to know about effective, natural, much cheaper treatments, as it is a billion dollar industry. The governments get millions every year in taxes from the sale of these drugs. Most allopathic, orthodox drugs have negative side effects. Just read the leaflet that comes with the drug! The drugs for arthritis are probably the worse for side effects. They very often cause stomach disorders, usually ulcers. I know someone who got two ulcers from taking drugs prescribed by her doctor for arthritis. CHAPTER 2 How to use Castor Oil Packs for Arthritis Contraindications Castor oil is not to be used on unbroken skin. Do not swallow castor oil. Castor oil packs should not be used on the abdomen during pregnancy, menstruation, heavy bleeding or by anyone with any stomach conditions, e.g. intestinal disease, appendicitis and diabetic neuropathy. Castor oil is very messy and stains easily. Use old sheets and clothes as castor oil will stain fabrics. Cover carpets (I use pizza take away cardboard to cover floor, no chance of it seeping to the carpet). If possible, apply castor oil in kitchen where there is no carpet. Two ways to use castor oil packs The easiest way is to use overnight castor oil packs for all areas except the neck and shoulders. For the latter, you would need a heated pack, held against the shoulder and neck for one hour. This requires more effort. If you can think of a way to attach an overnight pack to these areas, do let me know! I used ordinary castor oil from the local pharmacy as it was cheaper than organic. I got amazing results. If money is no option for you, I recommend you get cold pressed, organic castor oil from health shops or online. I use only organic now for the pain free gout in my toe. In the UK, organic castor oil is very expensive. Thus online is more economical. I recommend Amazon for this. I buy 1 litre of organic castor oil from Amazon. It works out much cheaper than 500mls. Do not buy from auction sites as there are too many fake items being sold there. In the USA, organic castor oil is very cheap; $6.50 for 500 mls. You would probably get faster results with the organic. The organic is very runny and spills easily. When using the massage approach, ensure you cover carpet first. I use cardboard. If you accidentally pour too much on your fingers, it will leak onto your carpet or floor very easily. Castor oil stains are very difficult to remove, so do cover the floor area. I cannot take responsibility if you do not follow the advice in this book to cover the floor and wear old clothes. Non organic is thicker and does not leak onto the carpet. If you are worried about finances, you should be able to get nonorganic castor oil in most small pharmacies. This is what I did and it healed my arthritis. If they don’t stock it, you might be able to order it in bigger pharmacy chains. Overnight packs For fingers, hands, elbows, back, hips, knees, feet and toes. These are extremely effective. They totally healed the arthritis in my thumb and made the gout 100% pain free in my toe. They take about 5 minutes to make. Certainly worth the effort. These packs work so well because cotton wool stays moist for many hours. And they are on the affected area all night. You will need: Castor oil Cotton wool Cling film Sellotape Sometimes surgical tape (to hold packs in place.) Soak the cotton wool in heated or unheated castor oil. (I did not heat it). Place over the affected area. Wrap cling film around it. Then, put sellotape around it, so the pack is tight around the skin. If you find the pack slips, you can use just a little bit of surgical tape to hold the pack in place, on either side of the pack. Be careful how you use surgical tape. Use just a tiny amount. If a large amount of surgical tape is on your skin for more than three hours, it can take your skin off.(I used surgical tape safely for 12 months.) If you have a pack on your toes and you get out of bed at night, you have to use foot wear. I stained my whole carpet, when walking to toilet in the night. These overnight packs are incredible. They returned my thumb and toe to normal in months. Use gloves for the whole of the hand Soak cotton gloves in castor oil. Then, over this, wear plastic gloves. (you can buy a pack of plastic gloves in the $1store.) You will need to do it on alternate hands each night. Leave on overnight. Heated castor oil packs For neck and shoulders. (If you wish, you can also use on fingers, hands, elbows, back, hips, knees, feet and toes.) This involves more preparation. The heat penetrates the painful area where it can bring relief. You will need: 100% cotton wool. ( buy a roll, more economical) I prefer cotton wool instead of flannel, because it stays moist for much longer. It is also more hygienic, as you use new cotton wool each night. Scissors to cut cotton wool to size Bottle of castor oil from pharmacy, health shop, or online. ( not from supermarket, preferably organic) 1 stainless steel pan (for use with castor oil only) 1 plastic container to soak the cotton wool. (If you have the organic plastic bottle, this won’t be needed. You can simply lay the cotton wool on a flat surface. Pour the oil evenly over the pad.) 1 electric heating pad Tissues to dry your hands 1 towel to hold the pack in place. Plastic sheet to cover bed and newspaper to cover floor WARNING: If using heating pad on the bed, make sure someone else is around to switch off the pad, in case you fall asleep. Heating the castor oil is not obligatory but a matter of choice. How to use Castor oil packs with heating pads Neck and shoulders. Can also be used for any other area of the body if you wish. First, warm the castor oil in the pan. Never let it get to boiling or to a temperature that would scald your skin. Soak the cotton wool or flannel in the oil. Then place on skin where there is pain. Over this, place plastic sheeting. On top, place the heating pad. Over this, for larger areas, like your back, place a towel to hold everything in place. (Do not use a hot water bottle, as heat does not last long enough). Do this for 1 hour a day. How long to use castor oil packs for? It depends on the seriousness of your condition. If you have very advanced arthritis, you may have to apply the packs every night for a longer time. I cannot say how long it will be before you get relief, as each person is different. Some people get relief immediately, some take longer. I got relief in about 2 months, so you have to be patient and persevering. Keep in mind, I used Castor oil packs overnight, on my toe and thumb, every night for 12 months. If your pain stops, I recommend that you carry on applying the packs, as long as possible, to prevent the arthritis from returning. After the pain has gone, I suggest you keep using the packs for a minimum of 3 months. If the pain comes back, carry on with packs for a longer period. I kept on with the packs after the pain left for 9-10 months I have known of people getting completely healed from arthritis very quickly in weeks. With me, it took months; so each person is different. Day packs You can use packs in the day if you wish. Because the body’s metabolism is lower and the body is at rest, the effects will be greater in the night. If you are in extreme pain, by all means do the following for 1 week only: Use a day pack. At night take it off, apply a new pack with heating pad for 1 hour and put on a fresh pack for overnight. Do this for 1 week only. This is because the body needs time away from the castor packs. I believe the castor oil continues to work in the body after you have removed the pack. It is in the body, removing the toxins. Start with both heating pads and overnight packs I recommend that for the first few weeks, you do the 1 hour heating pads during the day or evening, (e.g. whilst watching TV), and the overnight packs. This will get the fastest results. That is what I did initially, for my thumb. I don’t recommend hot water bottles, as they stay hot for 30 minutes only. Heating pads give steady, continuous heat. Small areas Use a band aid with the pad soaked in castor oil. For several arthritis areas or multiple ailments pack on the abdomen If you have arthritis in several areas, the best thing for you would be to apply what I teach in my chapter on emotional causes of arthritis in Chapter 6. I suggest packs on the abdomen. You can use overnight packs, with cling film or heating pad method, for 1 hour, 3 nights on, then 3 nights off, for as long as you need to. I feel overnight packs would be more effective. Just remember the 3 nights on, then 3 nights off rule. The same applies if you have several different illnesses. Apply what is in chapter 6 and start the packs on abdomen. If you find the cling film itchy, try a different brand. Or you can wear a vest over the pack. Or use an old towel with safety pins. When you place the soaked cotton wool pad over your tummy, it does feel quite cold! For 3 seconds only, as your body temperature quickly counteracts the cold sensation. Trust me, it’s worth bearing with 3 seconds of cold for the relief of pain that will follow. Swelling Massaging castor oil on the area will not reduce swelling. Only castor oil packs will reduce swelling. Pain Massaging castor oil on the area can reduce pain. For healing to occur, to reverse the arthritis, castor oil packs will be needed and essential. Massage Anywhere on the body. Massage heated or unheated castor oil onto the area 2-3 times a day. At a minimum, twice a day. I think it is a good idea to carry a 10 ml roll-on bottle of castor oil to massage the area throughout the day. This is the most ineffective method. Because when you wear your clothes, they soak up the castor oil and the oil dries, loosing it's healing effects. For toes, you can wear sandals in the home; for elbows, roll up sleeves; for knees, wear shorts at home. I massage castor oil on my big toe and wear sandals for 1 hour every morning. I never get any pain as a result. When I cease massaging castor oil on my toe, say when I am going through a busy period, I can feel the pain returning. So the castor oil packs did not heal the gout in my toe. They reduced the swelling to normal size and the massaging of the oil daily has allowed me to be pain free of gout for 4 and a half years. However, my thumb was completely healed of arthritis. After 12 months of the packs, I never needed to use the castor oil again on my thumb. After you have been healed though, anger or stress can bring back the pain into the area. Don’t think, “oh, it’s back, I have to start using packs again for many months.” Leave it, the next day you will be pain free again. To make you feel better, by all means use your roll-on bottle on the area...but the pain will go in an hour or a day...so just relax if that happens. The correlation between arthritis and our emotions will be discussed in a later chapter. CHAPTER 3 How to use Castor Oil Heating Pad Packs on the Body Back Place plastic protective sheet over bed. Lie on tummy, place large 100% cotton wool pad soaked in castor oil directly onto your back. Place plastic sheeting over this. Then heating pad. Place towel over pack to hold in place. Do for 1 hour It is an uncomfortable and difficult position. Read a book, watch TV, or listen to pleasant, relaxing music, to help pass the time. Ensure you stay awake so you can switch off heating pad after one hour, or make sure someone else is around to turn it off for you, in case you fall asleep. Neck Place cotton wool pad soaked in castor oil directly onto your neck. Place plastic sheeting over this. Hold heating pad against the plastic for 1 hour. You can read a book, watch TV, or listen to music to help pass the time. Shoulders Place cotton wool pad soaked in castor oil directly onto your shoulder. Place plastic sheeting over this. Hold heating pad against the plastic for 1 hour. You can read a book, watch TV, or listen to music to help pass the time. Elbows Place cotton wool pad soaked in castor oil directly onto your elbow. Place plastic sheeting over this. Hold heating pad against the plastic for 1 hour. You can read a book, watch TV, or listen to music to help pass the time. Hands, Fingers, Toes Place cotton wool pad soaked in castor oil directly onto the area. Place plastic sheeting over this. Hold heating pad against the plastic for 1 hour. You can read a book, watch TV, or listen to music to help pass the time. Feet Place cotton wool pad soaked in castor oil directly onto foot. Place plastic sheeting over this. Hold heating pad against the plastic for 1 hour. You can read a book, watch TV, or listen to music to help pass the time. Hips Place cotton wool pad soaked in castor oil directly onto hip. Place plastic sheeting over this. Hold heating pad against the plastic for 1 hour. You can read a book, watch TV, or listen to music to help pass the time. Knees Place cotton wool pad soaked in castor oil, directly onto knee. Place plastic sheeting over this. Hold heating pad against the plastic for 1 hour. You can read a book, watch TV, or listen to music to help pass the time. CHAPTER 4 Recommended Supplements, Creams and Gels for Arthritis Relief Supplements that helped me keep arthritis at bay. My thumb and toe healed and became normal within 3 months. I then started using health supplements, to be on the safe side, to prevent arthritis from returning to the same area or starting elsewhere on my body. This was very successful, as I have been pain free for 4 and a half years. Glucosamine gel and Comfrey cream These were essential as they give immediate pain relief if the castor oil needs time to take effect. Apply the gel first, after a few minutes it dries fairly quickly. Then apply the cream. The cream stays greasy, so you won’t be able to apply castor oil immediately after. Use morning and night In the morning, apply the gel followed by the cream. In the night apply the gel only. When dry, apply the overnight castor oil pack. If the glucosamine gel feels cold on application and this bothers you, try another brand. I never had this experience with the one I used. Comfrey oil for larger areas e.g. back Comfrey oil is a wonderful, natural pain reliever. It works immediately! Now, I will tell you something that happened. I called my Health company about the supplements I have been buying from them for 4 half years. (Those are listed below.) They said I am taking too many, as many do the same thing, e.g. anti-inflammatories So I reduced them, taking only 1 ant-inflammatory in the day and night. 2 months later: swelling and stiffness on my index finger appeared. Then 2 weeks later, bone swelling on my index finger with pain. I immediately restarted my full supplement regime, as stated below. The pain on my little finger has gone. The only way I can reduce the swelling and extended bone is going to be with castor oil packs. It may take some months. I recommend that you take all the supplements below, to ensure arthritis does not appear elsewhere in your body. (If you can afford it). If you are really limited for cash, I will list below a budget version you can take as an absolute minimum. Castor oil packs will reverse the arthritis in your body, where it is located now. But it will not prevent arthritis elsewhere in your body. For that you will need to take all the supplements below. If you cannot afford the supplements, go to chapters six and seven, re: the emotional causes of arthritis. If you have severe arthritis For worse cases of arthritis, I recommend starting with these supplements straight away, in addition to the day and overnight packs initially. Then, after a few weeks, do supplements and overnight packs only. Once, I stopped the supplements. The arthritis did not return to my thumb. But pain returned to my big toe that had previously been painfree. I immediately re-started the supplements. I have never had pain in my toe since. The supplements keep my toe pain free and stop arthritis from appearing on other joints. I feel the supplements lessen the chances of arthritis returning to my thumb. I will use the supplements for the rest of my life. I feel it is a question of finances. If you can afford the supplements, I recommend you take them permanently. If finances are an issue, you could for example start with the castor oil packs. If you get healed, keep going with the packs for long as you can to lessen the chance of arthritis returning. Then stop the packs. Hopefully, you should be fine. If pain starts at another area at some point you could consider taking the supplements. I did research and started taking every supplement that has been known to help arthritis. All supplements to be taken with food for better absorption. - MSM 1000 mg tablet, 1 in morning, one in night – strengthens cartilage increases sulphur compounds. Anti- inflammatory. Good for osteo-arthritis and. rheumatoid-arthritis My supplement supplier has this to say about MSM: MSM is a naturally occurring organic sulphur compound that acts as a major building block of glycosaminoglycans, key structural components of joint cartilage. MSM occurs in small amounts in certain foods. However nutritionists believe that diets are generally low in sulphur and therefore often recommend an MSM supplement. Omega 3 fish oil 1000 mg capsule, 1 in morning – high levels of essential fatty acids, DHA and EPA which reduces inflammation - Green lipped Mussel 500mg capsule, 1 morning, 1 in the night – shock absorber for joints. Strengthens and protects cartilage. Antiinflammatory. Good for rheumatoid-arthritis. A rich source of amino acids. - Turmeric 500 mg, tablet, 2 in the night. Reduces inflammation by lowering histamine levels which cause inflammation. - Turmeric has been used for centuries for its natural beneficial actions. The turmeric tablet I take contains 500mg of standardised extract (20:1) equivalent to 10,000mg of root powder. This formulation is a high strength root extract standardised to provide a minimum of 95% curcumin. Turmeric is a yellow-flowered perennial plant found in India and throughout Asia. The root of the plant is used both as a spice and as a nutritional supplement. The active ingredient is curcumin, which is obtained by scalding, drying and then grinding the root like stem of the plant to form a yellow powder. Turmeric features prominently in ayurvedic medicine (Indian traditional medicine). In the early 1970's researchers uncovered the science behind its efficacy - notable compounds called curcuminoids. - Glucosamine HCI 500 mg tablets, 3 in morning, (total1500mg) – regenerates worn cartilage, helps to coat joint surfaces. Helps aching joints. I take the premium, most advanced form of glucosamine available, providing 40% more pure glucosamine per gram than standard glucosamine sulphate 2KCl. (from Healthspan, UK) Unlike the more common glucosamine sulphate form (predominantly sourced from shellfish), the Glucosamine I take is produced from a sustainable corn based source by a special process of fermentation. This special production process ensures that the glucosamine is completely free from shell-fish and associated allergies, with high purity and concentration. - Marine Chondrotin sulphate, tablets 400 mg, 3 in morning, (total 1200mg) - Shock absorber, by forming a sponge like substance. Inhibits the enzymes that destroy cartilage and adds moisture retention. Good for osteo-arthritis. I take premium 90% concentrated chondroitin form. These levels have proven to be effective in clinical trials. Best taken with a glucosamine supplement Chondroitin sulphate is a component of joint cartilage. The chondroitin sulphate I use is the premium 90% grade. Most other companies use the low strength and much cheaper 20% grade, which provides less chondroitin per gram. A daily intake of 1,200mg marine chondroitin (90%) is the level that has been shown to be beneficial in recent clinical trials. Marine chondroitin and glucosamine work in perfect synergy together, which is why they are often found combined in the same tablet formulation. - Rose hip 250 mg tablet, whole rose hip extract, equivalent to whole rose hip 5000mg, one in the morning – natural anti-inflammatory. Rich source of ant-oxidants and vitamin C. Naturally rich in valuable compounds such as polyphenols, flavonoids, tannins and oils - Devil’s claw 450 mg, tablet, 1 in morning, one in night – Anti-inflammatory. Pain killer. Helps aches and pains in joints. Good for lower back pain, sciatica, rheumatic arthritis and pain in muscles and joints. Do not use if you are under 18 years of age, have ever had a stomach or duodenal ulcer, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding. If you have heart problems, consult your doctor before taking devil’s claw. Do not be scared. I think Devil’s claw has been recognised by the UK government as a medicine, hence all the related warnings. I have taken this for 4 and a half years with no problem at all. Devil’s Claw is a natural extract from the root of the Devil’s Claw herb. Each tablet I take contains 450mg of extract, equivalent to 1,575mg-2,250mg of fresh Devil’s Claw root. - Bromelain 500mg tablet, one in night – anti-inflammatory. Extra supplements I was taking these for years before arthritis began. I recommend them if you can afford it. - Probiotics. 5 billion live bacteria, one capsule in morning – can have an anti-inflammatory effect by keeping levels of friendly gut bacteria thriving. - 1 multi vitamin/mineral tablet. A good quality one. Get from a wellknown brand, not with supermarket or pharmacy owned brands. Consider Solgar or Quest. I have used Quest for 15 years. I am going to switch to Solgar as my health is more important than money. Solgar is twice the price of Quest. I have been buying Quest in the UK online from Nutrisun, 25% off with free delivery for 3 items. Ensure all the recommended daily allowances, (RDA), of the multi vitamin/mineral supplement you choose, are at 100%. If you can afford it, take all the supplements listed above, regardless of what type of arthritis you have. Otherwise, see how you go with just the castor oil. Absolutely necessary supplements for those on a limited budget. I am not a doctor nor a health expert, but I would say to try the following as an absolute minimum: - Glucosamine HCI 500 mg tablets, 3 in morning, Total1500mg. ( Instead of 3, try 2.) Marine Chondrotin sulphate, tablets 400 mg, 3 in morning, Total 1200mg. (Instead of 3, try 2.) MSM 1000 mg tablet, 1 in morning, one in night. (Try 1 in the night) Rose hip 250 mg tablet, whole rose hip extract, equivalent to whole rose hip 5000mg, one in the morning. Devil’s claw 450 mg, tablet, 1 in morning, one in night. (you could try 1 in the night) If you cannot afford the above, here is an even more basic version - Glucosamine HCI 500 mg tablets. Instead of 3, try 2 every morning. - Marine Chondrotin sulphate, tablets 400 mg. Instead of 3, try 2 every morning. - MSM 1000 mg tablet. Instead of 2, try 1 every night. - Rose hip 250 mg tablet one in the morning. If there was just one I could take, which would it be? It would definitely be the Glucosamine HCI 500 mg tablets. Most doctors recommend it. I take Glucosamine and Marine Chondrotin sulphate in a combination tablet. It works out to be cheaper. Search for that online if you can only afford one tablet CHAPTER 5 Life style factors Diet Whilst I am sure diet can affect arthritis, I did not change my diet in any way. However, my diet is quite healthy. What can make arthritis worse? Fried foods/junk food Oranges and orange juice Coffee Fizzy drinks Alcohol High sugar intake e.g. cookies, fruit juices, soft drinks, and candy. High salt intake Too many preservatives and additives Processed food made with corn oil Saturated fats – usually found in meat. Seek reduced fat/lean cuts of meat. Refined carbohydrates – anything baked with white flour e.g. white bread, rolls, croissants, junk cereals, as well as white rice. Any diet high in processed food will increase inflammation. Why? It can cause an imbalance of fatty acids intake: too many proinflammatory omega 6 oils, found in manufactured foods, and not enough anti- inflammatory omega 3 oils, found in fresh foods such as oily fish. Foods that reduce arthritis Eat more oily fish, (rich in omega 3 oils), nuts, seeds, berries, dark vegetables and other anti-oxidant foods, which all can help reduce inflammation. Stop smoking Cigarette smoke is packed with highly irritant chemicals. This explains why smokers are more at risk from many chronic diseases. Lose extra weight Obesity also increases inflammation as fat cells produce large amounts of inflammatory chemicals. Fat stored around the middle is closely related to increase of inflammation. This is called “toxic fat”, as it reacts to stress hormones by creating chemicals that bring about more inflammation. Change to a healthier diet with exercise e.g. a daily minimum of 30 minutes of walking, swimming, cycling, or anything that gets you breathing faster and pushes your heart rate up. Ensure to check with your doctor before starting any exercise program. De-stress Stress reduces the immune system, the body’s natural defence mechanism and thus increases susceptibility to disease. Stress also encourages the body to lay down fat in the middle. Thus address any known tensions in your life: take action and do something about it e.g. reduce work hours, seek advice from friends or a doctor and make more time for rest and relaxation. Try a body relaxation cd with visualisation and meditation. Exercise Ensure to check with your doctor before starting any exercise program. Exercise will help counteract arthritis in your body. Any area that has stiffness and swelling will benefit from stretching exercises. Exercise will: strengthen muscles supporting joints strengthen bones and increase bone density ease stiffness increase movement of joints Stretching keeps joints supple to reduce pain stiffness and increases movement. After consulting your doctor, get an exercise plan from a qualified Physiotherapist. Chapter 6 Emotional causes of arthritis Not in every case, but most cases of arthritis are caused by anger, bitterness, hate, resentment and desire for revenge. So if you know who hurt you, it could be an organisation, a previous employer, a hospital that made a mistake, write down a list of possible people who you feel you need to forgive. Forgive them out aloud with a third party, a close friend or a Priest/Pastor. Forgiveness starts with a decision....God, the Universe, your Higher self, whatever you believe, will do the rest in terms of true forgiveness from the heart. Regarding justice, leave your Higher power, God or whatever you believe in, to be the judge. Wish good blessings on the person who has hurt you bless them, their health, wealth and family: Set yourself free. Finding emotional cause of arthritis Recall when arthritis began, e.g. 1 year ago. What happened up to 6 months before that time? Any significant injustice occurred against you from a person or organisation? Any incident? e.g. car accident, where you began resentment against the driver, (who you now need to forgive). If no, then go back another 6 months. Generally, the cause will be within 12 months before the arthritis began. The following is an extract from my personal development ebook Skills for Life: I believe I know who you are. I know you have a good nature. You have a lot to contribute to the world and you can make a difference to those around you. You have the potential inside you to achieve all your dreams. You deserve love, success, peace, health, and wealth. I know you are a good person. Deep down inside, you know it too, and so you do deserve the good things in life. You are worthy and you are valuable. No matter what they said. No matter what they did. No matter what happened, you are loveable. You are unique. There is no person in the whole world like you. You are kind and you do want the best for yourself. No matter what happened in your past, you are good enough. You are not your past. Your past does not define you. You are who you decide to be right now, at this moment. Every moment, you have the choice of which direction to take, the direction of power or the direction of hopelessness and loss. Your parents made mistakes, and you may blame yourself for their errors. No matter what happened in your past, even sexual abuse and rape, you can recover and take charge of your life. It is a matter of where your emphasis goes. If you carry on living in your past, blaming others and playing the victim, you will die a miserable, lonely old person. I don’t want that for you. You are meant to live a life filled with love, joy and happiness. God, the universe, whatever you wish to call it, wants the best for you, but you have to open up the floodgates, to let the good in. You have to take responsibility for where you are now. Blame and victim-hood will keep you unhappy and lonely until you die. Can you forgive your parents or those who hurt you? Resentment only keeps you in pain, whilst the people who hurt you live happy lives. There comes a time when you have to let it go. I want you to live a free and fulfilling life. You deserve that. Do you want to be happy or right? Once you can forgive, love enters into your life and this powerful force can push you through to new horizons. Damaging Effects of Negative Emotions Anger Anger is bad for your health. Anger affects the liver, raises your blood pressure and heart rate. The result is increased risk of heart disease and more. There are times where it’s acceptable to be angry, but the exception rather than norm is the best policy. It seems to be normal and okay for men to get angry. I think its better to get angry very few times in your life. It’s just bad for your body, and there’s nothing to be gained from it. Because If you get angry with somebody, do you think they’ll give you what you want? It will pretty well guarantee they won’t give you what you want. When you get angry with somebody, you will be pushing them away. A true, real human being will be able to be calm, collected and unaffected by what is going on around them. You can be assertive and can get what you want by communicating in a cool, calm and level headed manner. And that is a way of behaving that others will want to emulate. Hate Hate is certainly the most damaging emotion to the body mind and soul. Resentment is a form of hate. Resentment is the biggest cause of arthritis and cancer. The opposite of resentment is forgiveness. The opposite of hate is love. Just accepting people as they are, accepting that nobody is perfect. When someone hurts you, you have to ask yourself: “I wonder what they went through that made them like that, that they would do such a thing to me? I don’t know what may have happened to them, in their childhood, or their past history. And if I had gone through the same experience as they had, I probably would become like them.” That gives you a different perspective, a more understanding attitude. The person that suffers most when you have hate is yourself. Hate will give you serious diseases, like arthritis or cancer. It’s a matter of, do I want to be happy or do I want to be right? Because, if you want to be right you may need a scalpel. Who wants a scalpel? You want a more loving, compassionate, kind attitude, based on empathy. Putting yourself in their shoes, that is the antithesis to hate, which is love coupled with compassion. Resentment The biggest cause of arthritis and cancer is resentment, lack of forgiveness. Someone hurt you, someone did wrong and you now feel resentment and bitterness toward them. Resentment is a form of bitterness and can ruin people’s lives. They spend all their time thinking about this person who hurt them and they don’t smile or laugh, they are unable to enjoy life. Because all they are doing, is thinking about this person and what happened. The person who gets hurt the most is yourself, as you are hanging onto this resentment. Resentment does not affect the person who has hurt you, it effects you. It will damage your health, your organs. It will cause inflammation in your joints leading to arthritis and cancerous growths, tumours. The result is physical pain in your body. There are people who would rather die than forgive the person who hurt them. They will be subject to the scalpel. They will have to go through the chemotherapy, terrible treatments and excruciating pain. They refuse to forgive the person who did this thing to them. The antidote to resentment is forgiveness, just letting it go. What is in the past, is in the past, forgive and forget. Let it go, and forgive the person for your own sake and set yourself free. Otherwise you will keep on suffering. If you hold onto resentment, you will never be happy. You never will experience joy. You are essentially punishing your own self. That’s not good, is it? Bitterness is like something gnawing inside you. Bitterness is like having a rat inside your liver, gnawing away. For your own sake, LET IT GO, AND MOVE ON. Learn to Forgive You’ve got to learn to let it go. If you’ve been hurt, you’ve got to learn to release it. Otherwise the only person that’s getting hurt now is you; you’re hurting yourself. Imagine carrying around that huge, heavy weight and it just sucks your energy dry. After you learn to forgive that person you can release this weight and feel lightness of being. You feel lighter, you feel happier. You can move on with your life and achieve your goals, like finding a partner, changing your career, travelling, etc. Send Love to Somebody in Pain They did that to you because they themselves were, and probably still are, in pain. Thoughts are very powerful. You can affect other people even from a distance. Just by thinking differently about a person, you can change your relationship with them. And thinking positively about that person, thinking good things about them, will help them change too. Love is the greatest transforming act on our planet. You don’t know what they went through, what happened to them in their childhood. Maybe they were beaten a lot. Or sexually abused. They then grow to feel the world is against them. They turn their self hate against others. When you hold on to the bitterness, anger and resentment, you are hurting and really attacking yourself. Yes, you are attacking your own body. When you are forgiving, you set yourself free When you forgive, it doesn’t let them off the hook. What they did to you, was wrong. People feel that if they forgive, and it will mean the person who hurt them was right. No, you can still forgive and they will still be the wrong party. But not forgiving does not change their world. Whether you forgive or not forgive does not affect them as much as it affects you. Joe hurt you and now you feel anger and resentment towards him. You now have pain in our body. What do you think Joe is doing now? He is living with his wife and children, he likes his job, he is leading a normal life. I can guarantee Joe is not thinking about you. And where are you? You are holding on to the bitterness, you are suffering and unhappy. You have severe pain in your body. You have to have constant appointments with your Doctor, hospital visits, x-rays, tests, and taking medication that has negative after effects. Your work, your relationships and family all suffer. So you can see, not forgiving does not affect them, but does affect you. Forgiveness does not mean you have to be friends with them again. You are not hurting them by not forgiving, you are hurting yourself. Their life is unaffected if you don’t forgive. If they committed a crime, you can forgive them and still have them arrested. The law is the law. You are carrying an unnecessary burden They have a sorrow which results in them inflicting pain and hurt on others. But if you bear hate, anger, resentment, rage towards them, essentially you are carrying their burden on yourself too. Thus you have a double burden: your own burden and theirs. You are carrying their weight and your weight. This is too heavy a weight and illness develops in your body in the form of arthritis and cancer. By forgiving them and letting it go, you are in a way giving their burden back to them. It’s their responsibility not yours. Let God or the Universe be the judge. By judging them, you are setting yourself up as God, The Universe, Higher power or whatever you believe. You are not God. Let God sit on His judgement seat and cast judgement on them. It’s not for you to judge. It only makes you ill. It causes inflammation in your joints and tumours in your body and unhappiness in your soul. If you believe in God Words of Jesus from the Sermon on the Mount, Gospel of St Matthew: “Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you too will be judged.” (Judged by God) “Forgive us our wrongs as we forgive those who wrong against us” (Lord’s Prayer). “For if you forgive people when they wrong against you, so also will your Heavenly Father also forgive you. But if you do not forgive people their wrongs, your Father will not forgive your wrongs.” “Love your enemies” “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” (To be meek means swallowing your pride and forgiving them. This a key barrier for people.) “Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy.” “Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called the Sons and daughters of God”. “Anyone who is angry with his brother or sister will be subject to judgement” “Love your enemies and Pray for those who persecute you”. “If you are offering your gift to the altar...first go and be reconciled with your brother/sister; then come and offer your gift”. “Settle matter quickly with your adversary...” “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” The message is very clear: God does not like people setting themselves up as God and judging people. That is His job. God wants a world full of love, compassion and mercy. This will never come about if people don’t forgive each other. Forgiveness is the way to create an Earth of Love. For if everyone started forgiving, bad people would change their ways. They would feel guilty and cease wronging people. This will happen in the future. People will grow to realise the connection between emotions and illness and will start forgiving until there is no one left to forgive as all live in bountiful love. “Thy will be done as in Heaven, so on Earth”. In Heaven there is no anger, hate resentment, desire for revenge or murderous rage. This is how God wants it to be here on planet earth. And His will, will be done. It is just a matter of time. We don’t know when. Brides, lamps of oil, and the don’t go back for the....Christ’s second coming could be today, what would you say to Him? If you don’t forgive others, God will not forgive you. Have you led a perfect life, with no wrongs? No. Then why should God forgive you, if you don’t forgive others? This is stated all the way through the Gospels. It’s a paramount message That is why it is constantly repeated again and again and again. If you don’t forgive others, God will not forgive you. God set it up that way. Why? Because that is His way of creating a planet of Love called Earth. Wars will only cease when people start forgiving each other. You and me can make a difference. World change starts with the individual, with you and me. If we don’t change, the world will never change As individuals start changing and forgiving, then whole societies will change and there will be no more wars. Forgiveness is love. Forgiveness is a loving act. Ask God to help you to forgive and to walk in forgiveness daily as a lifestyle. Peter asked Jesus, “how many times must I forgive my brother/sister, seven times seven?” Jesus answered “70 times seven”. What does that suggest to you? Never stop forgiving. Never. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” These are the last words of Jesus on the cross. Why? Even after preaching about forgiveness all through His last 3 years on earth, He still wanted to make absolutely sure we get it. That forgiveness, i.e. love is an essential, crucial instruction He wanted to leave behind. If you are a Christian and cannot forgive, then I am sorry to have to say this, you are a hypocrite. (Sorry to hurt your feelings, sometimes the truth hurts). The foundation if Christianity i.e. The Gospel is based on forgiveness, i.e. love, compassion and mercy. St Paul said: “…if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs”. If you do not believe in God There is a law of the Universe: “whatever you give out you get back...and multiplied”. If you give out resentment, hate, anger, bitterness, desire for revenge and murderous rage, you will get back more of the same in your life. Life will keep repeating itself. Until you get it. And you will get back illness, pain in your body in the form of arthritis, cancer etc and unhappiness in your soul. Your quality of life depends on your ability to forgive. If you find it easy to forgive, your quality of life will be very good indeed. If you find it hard to forgive, your quality of life will be very poor. You will lead an unhappy life. (With diseases) Have you met happy people? They are smiling and laughing. Just happy! When someone hurts them, they don’t bear a grudge or hold onto it. They just note it as a life experience, learn from it, shrug their shoulders and move on. The key then, is to make forgiveness a lifestyle choice. How to stop arthritis from starting elsewhere in your body: maintain forgiveness as a lifestyle. Castor oil packs can heal arthritis where it is now but, how to prevent it from appearing elsewhere? Forgiving people as soon as they have wronged you. Don’t wait, for bitterness will take root, then you will be hooked. Resentment leads to bitterness. This leads to anger, then hate, desire for revenge, then eventually to murder. Murder starts with one resentful thought. It festers and grows and grows until that one thought becomes a monster. The key is to catch that thought at the beginning. Do not go to bed, until you have forgiven the person. Make forgiveness a lifestyle, a real habit. You will be lighter and so much happier. People will come up to you and ask: “What happened to you? You seem different, much more joyful and relaxed.” How to forgive someone you can’t forgive Pity. Empathy leads to compassion. Put yourself in their shoes. See and feel what they went through. How was their childhood? How were they treated by their parents, brothers and sisters? What country did they grow up in? What was it like there? What was life like in their generation? What did they go through in their early adult years? Did they suffer any traumas? Coming nearer to the present, see the whole matter from their eyes. Pretend you are them. How do they see the issue? Get an idea what led them to do this thing to you. Work out how they are viewing the matter now, today. Doing all the above should make it easier for you to forgive. Plus knowing what you are doing to your body, by hanging onto it and that you are going against God’s laws/ Universal laws, should help you to forgive more from the heart. Often the person who wronged you, doesn’t know they have hurt you. Often they will justify what they did in many ways and will have totally forgotten about the matter. So there you are, plotting all kinds of ideas to get back at them. You are feeling restless, agitated angry, maybe even having sleepless nights and they don’t even know it. They aren’t aware of having done anything wrong. In their world they are in the right. You are suffering more then them. You are the one with arthritis, cancer or some other illness. Unconscious resentment against partners Sometimes the resentment is held in and away from our conscious, because we are afraid what others will think, or of the consequences. This happens a lot in long term relationships. Please examine what you really feel about your spouse and when they treat you in a bad way. This happens most with women who have domineering husbands. It results in arthritis first in the back, then moves to other parts of the body. Start by expressing to your best friend how you really feel, and write your feelings down in a journal. When you are ready, tell your husband, in a calm manner, how you really feel and ask him what he can do about it. Discuss it in an adult manner. Do not get too emotional. Just be frank and honest and call for more equality in the relationship, where both person’s needs are being satisfied and respected. If you are in this position, I recommend that you take a course in Assertiveness training. It will show you how to get your needs met without being passive or aggressive, but from being assertive. Of course, you need to forgive him if you want to be rid of the arthritis in your body. CHAPTER 7 Some people love their illness One lady refused to use Glucosamine gel because “it feels cold”. It was recommended by her Doctor. I told her my gel does not do that, would she like to order mine, here’s the number? She said no. I said the body will warm the area in about 3 seconds, so it can’t be that unbearable She said she will not use the gel again. I told her about the castor oil packs, explained how to use them. The next time I spoke to her, she said did not try them. She could not be bothered. She has very severe arthritis in her hand. Cooking in the kitchen is very painful and difficult for her. She has 2 ulcers from the arthritis medication she was given by her Doctor. I would say, she loves her illness. She possibly has secondary gain. That means she has benefits from having arthritis, (caused by hate towards her ex husband). The benefits are more attention and love from her sons. Some people don’t do the castor oil packs because they are plain lazy, and would rather keep the pain. Others don’t do the packs because they have guilt about something and keeping the pain assuages their guilt. Again arthritis in this case is still originally caused by resentment. Something since has happened to lead them into guilt. Here’s a quote on guilt from my ebook Skills for Life: Guilt When anyone has an accident, generally, it means they have guilt about something, and they caused the accident themselves, to feel better. When you’re feeling guilty, really, you are punishing yourself. It’s like casting a shadow. A cloud is above you and it is blocking out the sun and you put that cloud there yourself. Really, it is a matter of forgiving yourself, knowing that you are not perfect. No one is. The key is that you learn from your mistakes. If you did something wrong, it is normal to have a guilty conscience because you’re human and that’s reasonable. But if you keep holding onto the guilt for years and years, it can affect all areas of your life. It can slowly run its way through each area of your life and can lead to depression, which is not very nice. What you need, is to accept that you can make mistakes and get things wrong. There is no such thing as a perfect person. They don’t exist. We have all been through negative phases in our lives. Self forgiveness is the key. If you get good results from the castor oil packs, please do let me know. I would very much appreciate it if you could kindly let me know: - What you liked about the book. - What could be improved. - What you didn’t like . I believe in never ending improvement. There is always a way to do something better. Your valued feedback is much appreciated. Do let me know what happened when you did the forgiveness. Before you all start emailing me about my other ebook, “Skills for life”, it is not out yet. I will most likely change the title. There will be a Christian and non Christian version. You are automatically on my email list. I will email you when it is available. One final thing. I am training to be a Christian Prayer Minister. The true name of God in The Bible is Jehovah Rapha. That means “the God who heals”. Thus we can see, healing is God’s intrinsic nature. Jesus spent most of his time healing people. That healing by Jesus is still very much available today through the Holy Spirit. Don’t rule out the option of going to a Christian Healing room in a Church to receive healing Prayer. You don’t have to believe in God, Jesus or have faith to get healed. That is because God loves healing his blessed children. That includes you. The faith will be supplied by the Healing Minister Praying for you. Most Charismatic Churches offer a Healing room or a Healing Prayer evening. You don’t have to be a member of the Church to attend. Just search: “Healing room Prayer evening Church, name of your town city/area. My back pain of 18 years got healed by Christian Prayer. I can now sleep on hard hotel beds and travel all over the world, flying on planes 14 hours at a time with no pain. God loves you and wants to heal you. If you are interested to know more about God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit’s connection to Christian Healing Prayer, I will write a book about that some time. I could put you on an email list for that if you wish. See email below. Do let me know of your success stories with the castor oil packs/forgiveness. They will give me joy every day of my life. Please email me at: Thank you! Bonus free book: Skills for Life: Be a Person Others Take Notice Of Skills for Life: Part One Be a Person that Follows through You have to walk the talk, then people will feel safe with you and can trust you. Always do what you say you’re going to do. If you say you’re going to do something, then do it. That’s the sign of a really powerful person. People like to be around somebody that they can rely on and trust. If you say you’re going to do something and you don’t do it, that says that you’re not a powerful person. So you have to be a person that does everything they say they are going to do. Smile at Strangers The best thing that can happen to me in my day, is to have a complete stranger make eye contact with me and smile. Wouldn’t it be great if you could do that for others? I want you to get into the habit of smiling at strangers every day. It could be men, girls, or old ladies. Everybody. You’d be making their day. You’ll be spreading love and joy throughout your day. Wouldn’t that be great? When you smile at a stranger, you must hold the eye contact. Just hold it for longer than normal. There is no such thing as strangers, only potential friends. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful belief to have? Talk to ‘Strangers’ Throughout your Day You need to develop a habit of talking to ‘strangers’ wherever you are, as you’re going about your day. Start a conversation with men, girls, old ladies, old men, everyone. It helps you become more sociable, more open, and just helps you to enjoy your day. Because we are just one, big, human family and we are all one, essentially. And when you’re talking with anybody, you are one with them. Because we are all one. When you are talking to someone of the opposite sex you are attracted to, you must think like that. We are all one. Bring out the Best in People When you’re with people you bring out the best in them. You treat others with love and respect, you make them feel good about themselves and you empower them. When they’re around you they feel good. And how do you bring out the best in people? By complimenting their good points. Accepting them as they are. Not trying to change them. And when they do something well, to lift them up. Make it your goal to help people to feel good about themselves. Three Magic Words There are three magic words that always work wonders for me. The magic words are: “How are you?” I’ll give you an example. When I was a student in college I’d go to the café, which serves very healthy, tasty meals. The manager would serve me. I’d say: “Hi, How are you?” Every time I’d see him, I’d say that. Of course, after a few times he’ll start saying to me: “Hi, how are you?” Next thing you know we’re having conversations and we become friends. Now his staff cooks meals for me. Especially for me. When I arrive, usually there is a big queue. I go straight to the front and get served. If I’m having a low day and I go to that café, it always cheers me up. I just love that guy. He always makes me feel good. We’re great friends. I love his company. I’m talking about the café where I went to get food. So basically from those three words: “How are you?” I’ve got my own personal chef, and I’ve got a great friend. He doesn’t charge extra. He charges the same amount as the meals that are available from the counter. I’ll say I want ten meals and his staff will cook ten meals for me. I must emphasise you don’t say these words to get something out of people. You just don’t know what will transpire when you are friendly to people. When you’re being served by people in restaurants and shops, it’s good to say: “Hi, how are you?” Sometimes, the person will look at you with their mouth wide open. Because no one says that to them. It makes them feel good. They like it. They’re human beings and someone’s acknowledged them as a real person. (In UK, it is unusual, in USA, “how are you?”, or “how are you doing?”, is used to replace “Hi”, but it’s not genuine. These magic words won’t work in USA, I’m afraid.) And you can often make friends that way. So I recommend doing that with anybody that serves you. Not to get anything from them but just to be genuine, human, and give their day a lift. ‘Good Morning’ Exercise This is a great exercise you can do. If you live in a residential area, this would work really well. You leave your house in the morning as you’re on your way to work, college or university. Say you’re on your way to the train station. My train station is fifteen minutes away from where I live. So between now and the train station, I say, “Good morning,” to every single person that walks past me. I make eye contact and say, “Good morning”, with a nice, genuine smile. I greet everybody. I mean, men, women, old ladies; everybody. Now, some people will look back and say: “Good morning.” Others will just not know what to do. They will just look back astonished. And just carry on walking. You do this every day. So what happens, now, is they recognise you, and they start saying ‘good morning’ back. Eventually, they’re really glad to see you. They’ve got a big smile on their face and they think, “There he is, there’s that guy.” And they’ll stop and start a conversation with you. Next thing you know you’re making friends of people who live in your area. And you’ve made lots of new friends and you’ve put a smile on a lot of faces. Because when they see you a second time, you’ll just make their day. They think, “Wow, what an amazing guy! Why don’t more people do what he does?” Just talking to people and being really human. And it’s a great exercise. To come more in to yourself and to become a more happy, open, and warm individual. Skills for Life: Part Two Learn to Laugh at Things If something goes wrong, just laugh – laugh out loud. See the funny side of it. It really does change things. For example, this morning I was getting ready to go somewhere and I booked a cab. I was picking up the rubbish bag and I spilt it on the kitchen floor. Lots of smelly stuff. And I just laughed. I didn't get upset and I didn't swear. It's a good idea to learn to just laugh at things. When things go wrong, just laugh at it. You’ll mess up at some point. Life goes on. Laugh at it and just say to yourself – “life goes on”. If You are Upset, Count to Ten and Take Ten Deep Breaths If you are really angry about something and you are about to take drastic action, like make a decision that could strongly affect you or somebody else – stop. Count from one to ten. Then, take ten, long, deep breaths. By the time you have done that, you will feel a lot differently. You will be glad that you didn’t immediately act on a rash impulse. Accept People as They Are To get on with people, you need to learn to accept people as they are. Everybody wants to be accepted. Nobody wants to be criticised. You just have to accept people as they are. You can't change anybody. You shouldn't need to change somebody. If you find they are difficult to get on with, then just move on. But acceptance is really important. Rejoice at Other’s Achievements If you see somebody has something that you want to have, you need to feel glad for them that they have that. If you see somebody with a fantastic car, feel glad that this person has got this lovely car. If you feel bad, jealous and envious, you will push that thing away. You will never have that thing. If you see someone with an attractive partner, be glad for them. If you feel envious, you will be pushing potential partners away from you. If you want something in your life, feel good when you see someone else has it. Just feel good about that thing and you will attract it to you. Whatever You Give, You Get Back If you hate somebody, I can guarantee that you will get hate back from somebody else. If you constantly make judgements on people, criticising people, then other people will be doing the same to you. The more you criticise people, the more people will criticise you. If you're going down the road and you see someone and you say: “I don't like their appearance” or “I don't like this about her or that about them” I guarantee you that others will do the same to you. They will look at you and judge you. Whatever you give out you will get back. You need to be careful about what you are giving out. You want to be having positive thoughts all the time. It takes time to make the change. But with a real will, a genuine will to change, it can be done. You will start becoming more conscious and aware of making these kinds of judgements. Then you’ll make a judgement and after be aware that you did it. This will happen for awhile. One day you will catch yourself and say: “I am making a judgement right now”. You are right in the middle of doing it. Keep being aware and one day you will catch yourself, just before you do it. And you will say to yourself: “I am just about to make a judgement, I'm not going to do it.” It takes time, it is a slow process but you can over time stop doing it. Own Your Feelings If you are feeling anxious about something, just come out and say it. “Yes, I am feeling anxious right now”. And if you are angry, just say: “Yes, I am feeling angry right now”. It's better to express your feelings instead of stuffing them inside you. That's how people get ill. What you resist, persists. If you can just accept how you are feeling right now, you will handle it a lot better. Ensure that you speak about it, though. Tell the person how you are feeling. Once you verbalise it, you actually feel better, and the emotion lessens. Pick Your Friends Carefully You become who you surround yourself with. The six people who are closest to you will influence who you are and who you become. Say you have friends around you who are very successful and earning more money than you. You will unconsciously and automatically want to earn more money and become successful like them. And you very likely will. This is true. If you are surrounded by people who are negative and losers, you will probably become like them. Be very careful about who you surround yourself with. It may mean that you need to let go of some people in your life. It's a very serious point. Do look into this. Don't Put up With Bad Behaviour Whether it's friends or a girlfriend, if someone keeps letting you down, just let them go and move on. You have to value yourself and your time. You don't want to be a doormat for anybody. If someone is treating you badly, just let them go. There will always be more positive people to fill that space. Like the vacuum law. If you create a vacuum, that vacuum will get filled. Be aware there are always many more positive people who could replace that person. I know it can be difficult if you know someone for many years, say from college or university. There comes to a stage where you want to live the life you want to live and become the person you want to be. As I said before, you become who you surround yourself with so it's a decision you have to make. Do please consider this, it is very important. Study Famous People Read Autobiographies of people you admire. If you want to earn more money and be more successful, read someone like Richard Branson and Donald Trump. You will learn to think like they do. Get a Mentor Whether you want to get better at your health, fitness or your career, find a mentor for that. Someone who is an expert. Someone who could help you reach your goal a lot faster. Some mentors are free, some charge. I've known people who have written to famous people and established relationships with them. Skills for Life: Part Three It’s Better to Think Big Than to Think Small Strive to be the best that you can be in whatever you do. Always aim high. My aim is to be the best actor in my acting class. Now when I think like that, my performance probably ends up being the best in the class. I certainly get the most compliments. Aim high for best results. Whatever You Visualise, You Materialise If you visualise worst case scenarios, that is what you will get. You should visualise the best possible case scenarios. Think in terms of what you want, rather than what you don't want. Then what you think about will become true for you. Visualise it as if you already have got it. Feel the feelings of already having it. Key point: always attach strong emotion to the visualisation. It is the emotion that gets the results. Stop Worrying If you are having a problem in your life and something is really bothering you, and you are really worked up about it, ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in five years from now?” If the answer is “no”, let it go. Re-framing Negative Experiences This is essential. If something negative happens, learn to re-frame it into something positive. For example, when my driver took the wrong turn, I said to him: “Don't worry, I'll get off here.” It would be nice if he dropped me off where I was going. But I am walking and I am getting some daylight. I am getting some exercise and stretching my legs. That's good. I am getting some fresh air. So I re-frame that into something positive. Always look at “How can I benefit from what just happened?” If you get a bad reaction from someone, just say: “Great, it's making me a stronger person. I can handle life better.” Just re-frame it. You will become someone stronger by dealing with that person's reaction. Always look at it in a more positive frame. Just carry on with your life. You will still feel good afterwards. When Someone Treats You Badly Their behaviour doesn’t say anything about me, it tells me about them. They have issues and most likely don’t like themselves. Just smile and move on. Don’t hang on to it. It's OK to Make Mistakes If I do something wrong. If I messed up. It's OK. It's OK to make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. You will always get things wrong. It is inevitable. Stop beating yourself up. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind with yourself. Just accept yourself as you are. That's the key. Self-acceptance. Only ensure you learn from your mistakes. Same applies to others. Nobody is perfect. People around you will also mess up. That's just part of life and nobody is perfect. Accept yourself and also accept others as they are. Avoid News I never watch the news. I never read newspapers. I don't watch TV. The way this planet is right now, it is all focused on negativity and bad news. Natural disaster: people buy newspapers. Something great happens: no one buys newspapers. So when you watch the TV or read the news, that is what sells: bad news. You watch this bad news, and that puts you in a bad mood. How can you be a happy individual if you do that? Especially avoid news in the night as it can disturb your sleep. Avoid TV I don’t watch TV. I have a TV but I only use it as a monitor with my computer or to watch DVDs. I don’t use TV to watch programmes. TV is not good for you. You can watch TV for hours and your brain just becomes dead. You are ruining your brain cells when you watch TV. You are vegetating. I recommend that you throw your TV out. If you have a TV, get rid of it. If you are worried that you paid for your TV license, call up the TV licence company. Tell them that you stopped watching TV and that you have thrown out your TV. They will refund you the remaining term on your license. They will say fine. You may have six months left on your TV license. They will send you a refund cheque and a form to sign. They may send an inspector around to check that you don't have use a TV any more. If you send in the form they will send you a refund for whatever the period is. So, you won’t lose any money when you stop watching TV. You could sell your TV on craigslist.com, or other free online advertisement websites. Follow Your Joy Do things in your life that make you feel good. Ask yourself: “What would give me joy?” Go and do those things. Say you are single. Don't wait for a partner to come along and make you feel good or happy. Enjoy being single. Do great things. Have a really fulfilling life. So you won't even notice that you don't have a partner. It won't bother you because you will have a great, fun filled life. Do things that you love. Do things that make you feel good. Do things that make you feel joy. Create a life that is so fulfilling that it doesn't matter if you have a partner or not. Then, when the right partner comes along, you will have such a fantastic and fulfilling life that they will want to be part of your life. When they meet you, they will see someone who is happy and content. Someone interesting and exciting to get to know. Now that is attractive. If you are unhappy and becoming depressed, you won't be attractive. People won't want to get to know you. Greet Disabled People You have arms, legs, hearing, sight and speech. You are doing really well. I saw a man today and he only had one leg. I looked him straight in the eyes and I nodded. That is something you can start doing. When you see a disabled person, look them straight in the eye and nod to them. People ignore disabled people. When they see disabled people, they look away because they can't look at them. That is not right. Make a disabled person's day. Look them straight in the eye and nod to them. They will feel so happy to be acknowledged by somebody. Imagine if you are a disabled person. You walk around and you notice that people don't look at you. They look away. That would make you feel bad. So make their day. If you could add a smile, all the better. When you see a police officer who you have never seen before, you look him straight in the eye and wait for him to look at you. You make eye contact. You might say good morning to him. You acknowledge him. Do that with a disabled person. Even if it is in a busy street. I was in a busy street when I saw that man. Skills for Life: Part Four The man with no legs I met a man today that had no legs. He was smiling, and happy. So stop complaining and be thankful for what you’ve got. The Deaf, Blind and Dumb Man I also met another man last week. He was lost. He was bumping into the wall. I tried to help him, but I couldn’t, because he couldn’t hear me, speak to me or see me.. So be thankful for what you’ve got: eyes to see, ears to hear, voice to speak, you have the sense of smell, you have the sense of touch, arms and legs. Be thankful for your senses and your body. Don’t take them for granted. Be a Leader Don’t wait for others to make decisions and for you to follow them. Start being the one who makes decisions, so others can start following you. It is not easy at first, but in the beginning you have to kind of, bluff your way through. Just say it in an authoritative tone, and say, “Yes, we are going to do x, y, z”. Say it in a strong, confident manner. Even if, on the inside you are not even sure of your decision, just go on with it and say it. In the beginning you are kind of pretending, but the key to being a good leader is making quick decisions, and this is what you have to start doing. If you’re not sure, make a decision about something and say: “Yes, we are going to see x movie, let’s go”. And if you say that in an authoritative way, people won’t question you. They will just join you and go with you. That is one of the key aspects of being a leader. Making quick decisions. Speaking in a commanding, authoritative manner. I remember a story about Andrew Carnegie. He said to Napoleon Hill, “I am going to make you an offer and you have 60 seconds to make a decision, a yes or no answer. And the offer is, I want you to spend the next 25 years studying millionaires. And I will not pay you. You will make your own way as far as money is concerned and I will guide you how to study millionaires”. Napoleon Hill made his decision in 29 seconds. I just love that story. Andrew Carnegie was the world’s first billionaire and he wanted to hire somebody to do this job, to take to the world his philosophy of success; somebody who is be able to make quick decisions. Because if Napoleon Hill would have said “I need to think about it, give me a few days, or give me 24 hours to sleep on it”, Andrew Carnegie would have said, “he is not the right person to do the job, he lacks true leadership qualities”. But Napoleon Hill made his decision in 29 seconds. He didn’t use the whole minute, and that was what that told Andrew Carnegie, that Napoleon Hill was a real leader, and someone who was suitable for the job. So, learn to start making quick decisions. Even if you are not sure in the beginning, your unconscious will help you to become a quick decision maker. And if it doesn’t work out, fine, you have to trust yourself, believe in yourself, you have all the resources that you need to be a leader and you can do it. If others can do it, you can do it too. Being a leader requires more then quick decision making, though it will help you move in the right direction. This is Andrew Carnegie’s explanation for why he gave just 60 seconds for a decision: “It has been my experience that a person who cannot reach a decision promptly cannot be depended upon to carry through any decision they may make. "I’ve also observed," he went on, "that those who reach decisions promptly usually have the capacity to move with definiteness of purpose in other circumstances." Concentrate on What's Working Choose to concentrate on what's working and you get more of that. You get more of whatever you focus on. This will enable you to be more positive and have more good results in your life. We do tend to be more negative and criticise ourselves. You don't want to focus on that. You focus on what you want and what's working. Whatever you concentrate on, grows. Are you looking at the weeds or the flowers? Good Acts Aim to start doing good acts. Like today, I was coming out of the train station and I saw a man. He saw a can on the floor. He picked it up and put it in the trash can. I think that is amazing. If you see some rubbish on the floor, pick it up and put it in the trash can. Do a good act. If you go to the toilet and it is messy, clean it for the next person. You can buy lottery tickets and give them away to strangers. Buy a cup of tea for a homeless person. If you see a beggar or a homeless person, ask them: “Would you like something to eat or something to drink?” (I don’t advise giving them money, as you may be fuelling their addiction) Buy them something. I am not an expert, but those are some of the good acts that I do. You could do a search on “good acts” and get some more ideas. These are things that you can do for others. Selfless things. It is a good habit. Try that out. The Fastest Way to Make Friends You can form your own friendship club. For example, if you love movies, you can print some flyers and use an email address. State that you are meeting at a certain bar and going to see a certain movie at a certain time. People you know or people you don't know – just give them a leaflet. Say that you are starting a group to go to the movies once a week. Give the leaflet to everyone you meet. The girl who serves you in the coffee shop. Give it to her. Anyone you have a conversation with, just say that you are getting together this group. You start being the leader of this group. You will meet more people in a couple of months, than what you could have met in a year. You will meet lots of new people and make new friends. If you like art galleries or going to bars, you just arrange groups socialising around those things every week. You build up an email list. Don't charge any money. Just get a group together to meet once a week. The girl at the coffee shop, could come along and bring her friends. Everyone you talk to may bring a couple of friends. Aim to get a balance between male and female and a similar age range of people within your age group. You are developing leadership skills. Women love men who are leaders. It is a very attractive quality to develop. Never Complain Complaining never helps you in any way at all. Whatever you complain about - about yourself or about other people, I can guarantee that you will get more of that. Only think about what you want. Only talk about what you want. Your life will be so much better. You will have a happy fulfilling life, full of joy. Don’t Criticise Nobody likes to be criticised. You will just make the other person feel bad and judged. It will only deteriorate the relationship. Keep any criticism to yourself. Be Careful with Your Language. Take the following out of your language: “No worries” That makes your brain think about worrying. “No problem” That makes your brain think about the problem. Always say what you want,eg: “It’s fine“ “Relax, it’ll be all right“ “Everything will be fine“ “That’s OK” Take out the word “trying”, from your vocabulary. If I say to you: “Try to touch the wall with your finger now,” I didn’t say “touch the wall”. I said: “try to touch the wall”. When you try to do something, you aren’t actually going to do it. You’re just going to try to do it. Instead of saying: “I will try to get that job”, you could say: ”I will do my best to get that job”. “I will do everything I can to get that job”. ”I will put forward my best self to get that job” ”I will get that job”. Choose your words carefully. Never Put Yourself Down Be careful of how you use your language, when referring to yourself. Avoid the following types of statements: “Oh, that was silly of me” “Oh silly old me” “I know this sounds stupid, but..:” “I was really stupid” “I’m really stupid” Saying to yourself: “You’re an idiot” “You are really stupid” The words you speak, are very important, so use your language very carefully. You want to only speak positive words about yourself. Your words and your thoughts create your life. How do You Treat Yourself? The way, you treat yourself decides what happens in your life. If you treat yourself badly, you’ll get lots of bad people in your life and lots of bad experiences. If you treat yourself with love, you’ll have lots of love in your life. Receiving Compliments If someone gives you a compliment, say: “Thank you” and add a smile if you wish. Some people just ignore compliments and say nothing. Or they say: ”Oh, it’s nothing”. So say: “Thank you”. It’s much more powerful, and also encourages people to continue complimenting you. Skills for Life: Part Five Create an Anti-stress Thought Say it to yourself internally. Mine is: “Everything is going to be fine, relax.” It really works. Use at any time, in any situation. Eventually, you will find yourself using the thought without thinking about it. It puts you into a better state. Also, you will get used to saying these words to yourself so often, it becomes automatic. Whereas before, a negative thought would come in. But now, before the negative thought comes in, the anti-stress thought comes in automatically. It blocks the negative thought so that it never comes in. So you just go in a different direction that is 100% positive. Be Flexible Flexibility in life is essential. Things don’t always go according to plan. People cancel or are late, trains are cancelled, planes are delayed. Such is life. You need to maintain a flexible approach to your day to day life. You need to adapt to the circumstances. Things aren’t always going to go according to the way you want or expect them to The more flexibility you have in life, the more easier your life will be. When things don’t go according to the way you want them to, just keep saying: “I am flexible” When They Don’t get Back to You When someone doesn’t get back to you, don’t presume the worst or anything negative. Always give people the benefit of the doubt. So, one hour has gone, and the person hasn’t called, Don’t say: “Oh, they don’t want anything to do with me. They don’t like me.” or “They’ve dumped me or rejected me”. Instead, say: “Well, maybe something has come up. They are delayed at work, something has happened to their family, or they could have become ill” Because, guess what? Three hours later, they do call. If you had gone the negative route, you had negative thoughts and that creates negative feelings. Then you will start feeling bad. You will have felt bad for hours, for nothing. If you go the positive route, you are not going to feel bad. Always maintain more positive attitudes, rather than go into your worse case scenarios. This will help you be more happy. How do You Treat People that Serve You? I treat everyone equally, with love and respect. I shake hands with waiters, and drivers. No one is my inferior and no one is my superior. Watch how you treat people who serve you. Treating people in a subservient way is not good human behaviour. When I meet somebody new, I always watch carefully how they treat the waiter. That tells me more about them than anything else could. Treat everyone in a warm and friendly manner. If somebody gives me a good service, I shake their hand and thank them for it. I think that’s the right way for a human being to behave. I was in USA recently, my American friend said “we don’t do that here, you shouldn’t shake hands with waiters, in US.” I carried right on doing that for my 3 months stay! Waiters, Drivers, Bell hops, everybody. Change Your Routines We are all very routine based. Do something differently to the way you would normally do it. If you do something with your right hand, do it with your left hand. If you drive to work through one route, try a different one. This creates new neural pathways in the brain. It will make you more flexible and creative. Morning pages I highly recommend your doing morning pages. I learned this from Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. As soon as you wake up in the morning, within five minutes of waking up, begin to write 3 pages of A4 paper, on both sides, about whatever is on your mind. It’s like a stream of consciousness. You can write about anything that occurs to you. As long as you keep writing, that is the main thing. It helps you develop your creativity, so that you are able to do, what you have always wanted to do e.g. write a book or play, write songs, compose, act, sing or or form a band etc. There’s no way, I would have been able to write this book without the morning pages. It brought out all the innate knowledge I have about different subjects . I didn’t know I had all that knowledge inside me. The morning pages helped me get it all out, to put it on paper; knowledge I had accumulated, over many years. Doing the Morning pages helps you think out of the box, will improve your life in many ways and areas. It will help you be more creative when you’re looking for a job, what to do with your career, or what to do with your life. It can help you organize your life a lot better. I recommend it very highly. Talk to Yourself in the Mirror. I know this is an usual one, it sounds weird…but it works….big time! I find this is very useful when I have a decision to make and I find it hard to know what to do… when I am in a dilemma. When I talk to myself in the mirror, I access my wiser part of myself straight away. I get an immediate answer. It helps me make important decisions. Sometimes I may be going down the wrong road, for example I remember once I had decided to take someone to court, to sue him. I went to the mirror and realized it a negative part of myself talking, it told me to do that. I went back to what I was doing before.. Legal action would have taken up all of my time. It was a negative part of myself, trying to mess up my life, so I just dropped the legal case and returned to what I was doing, which was much more important. When you talk in the mirror, you override your negative side. You can also use it to sort out issues. I’ve never done this. If you have fears about something, you could talk to yourself in the mirror about it, counsel yourself . Because, when you’re talking to yourself in the mirror, the wiser part of yourself comes through and you can give great advice to yourself. You can come to a better understanding of your problem and find a solution. I know this is an unusual request. But give it a go and just experiment. Have an open mind and see what happens. The amount of times, I’m out somewhere, or with somebody, and I say: “Excuse me, I’m going to the rest room“ I’ll wait till the restroom is empty, and I’ll look in the mirror and say: ”What shall I do?“ And the answer comes straight away. The answer may surprise you, it’s not what you expected. It’s always the right answer. Always,100%. It really works. Do What You Like, Don’t Worry About What Others Think Get in the habit of just doing what you want, not worrying what others think. It’s a good way of thinking, it makes you think more positively and confidently. You are your own person. You do what you like and what you want to do. You don’t let others dictate anything to you. You don’t go by other’s rules you go by your own rules. As long as no one gets hurt and it is not illegal it’s fine. If You Think it is Going to go Wrong, It Very Likely Will go Wrong. If You Think it is Going to go Right, It Very Likely Will go Right. You better think in terms of what you want to happen, rather than what you don't want to happen. You should just create this habit of thinking that everything is going to go well. Talk as if everything is going to go well. Just keep doing that until you are only thinking in one direction. You want to get to the stage where the negative point of view doesn't even come into your mind. Your life will be a lot smoother. Things will go more in a positive direction. You will get better results in everything you do. You will have a partner, career, health, wealth - everything. Life Gives You Challenges That is inevitable and unavoidable. Learn to welcome the challenges. Learn to enjoy the challenges. Work on the challenges. If we didn't have challenges, we would all be very boring people. It is the challenges in life that make us better people. So when things start going wrong, get into the habit of saying to yourself: “OK, this is just a challenge”. It’s Not What Happens to you in Life, It’s How you React to It You might say: ”Oh, they hurt me“ But they didn’t hurt you. You hurt yourself. It’s the way you reacted to the situation, the way you reacted to that event. Another person, would react in a totally different manner, and it wouldn’t bother them in the least. They’ll just shrug it off. They will say: ”Fine, I’ll just move on” You have to take responsibility for what is happening. You can’t blame the other person for your reaction, because that’s too easy. You are letting yourself off the hook. Sometimes, it’s hard because your emotions take over. But you’ve got to learn to be more conscious of how you’re reacting, so you can start to move yourself into a different direction. It’s not about what happens in life, it’s how you choose to react to it. It might feel like you don’t have a choice, but you do. The truth of the matter, is you do have a choice in how you react. Another person wouldn’t let it affect them at all. Because they have held a different reaction. I do something called CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) which is about changing my thoughts. Your thoughts create your emotions, so if you change your thoughts about the event, you have different emotions that go along with it. Be a Giver Concentrate on what you can give, think about what you have to offer. If you think about what you can take, then you are relying on others to make you feel good. You don’t want that. That’s emotional dependency, and you don’t want that. You want to be emotionally independent. I want you to learn to just give, give, give. Give of your time. Give of your love. Give of your money. Just give! And you will receive so much. For everything you give, it will come back multiplied. But you should not give in order to receive. Just give for the sake of giving. Because you love giving. You change. Your personality changes. You become a better person. A warmer person. Just give, give, give. This is the way to become a more attractive person. And a happier person. When Things are Going Bad, See How Far You’ve Come You’re not sleeping well, you’re feeling a bit down and you’re not feeling great, you’re not happy. Get out a note-pad, write down a list of all the good things that are happening in your life, all the positives. You’ll be surprised how long that list can actually be. Then you compare yourself now to one year ago, two years ago, or five years ago, and you see how far you’ve come. And when you look at that list, you realize that your life isn’t going so badly. Because when we feel down, we concentrate on what’s not working and then that makes us feel even worse. Negative thoughts create negative emotions, and then you feel bad. As you look at that list, you see all the good things in your life at the moment, and realize that you need a more balanced approach. You’ve been having a negative, extreme approach, and that’s why you’ve been feeling bad. Comparing yourself the way you are today, to some years ago, really does help you get a more realistic, balanced view of your life, as it is today. And then you start feeling better as the cloud lifts. Gratitude This is probably the most important thing in this book that could help you get more fulfilment in life. The more you are grateful, the more you will have things to be grateful for. Start living in the habit of being grateful for all the good things in your life. Be grateful that you have legs. Be grateful for the place that you have to live. You have a roof over your head. You have food every day. You have a doctor who looks after you. You have a dentist who looks after you. You have a pharmacist who looks after you. You have your friends and family. You might have work. The clothes that you wear. We take all these things for granted. It is a good habit to be grateful when you get up in the morning. I think it is a great idea to be grateful for at least ten things before you get out of bed. It changes your mood. It is hard to start the day negatively if you have just been grateful for ten things. Get your mind thinking in a good, positive direction from the start of the day. I encourage you to be grateful throughout the day, not just in the morning. The more grateful you are, the happier you will become. The more positive you will be. The more good things you will attract into your life. Being grateful changes your attitude, into a more humble one. Appreciate what you have got. Appreciate others more, and others will appreciate you more. You will have more things to appreciate in your life. “A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depends on the labours of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the measure as I have received and am still receiving." Albert Einstein 100 times a day! Now that’s a good goal.