1. Student sample:
In the Memoirs Red Scarf Girl: A Story of the Cultural Revolution and This Boy's Life: A Memoir,
the two memoirs are similarly placed within a turbulent time period after World War II and are
also use symbols to develop their stories with foreshadowing and key themes. The points in
which the memoirs differ is the main character's problem; the two are totally different. Toby has
an internal identity problem while Jiang is a large government force.
You don’t have to introduce your stories and authors in the thesis. You may mention
them, however. See below.
While the two memoirs are similarly set within the turbulence of post-World War II and develop
symbols, foreshadowing and key themes, they differ in their presentation of conflict: Toby, from
This Boy’s Life struggles with an internal question of identity, and Jiang from Red Scarf Girl, with
an external struggle against a government force in order to expose a time of great trial that leads
to a greater self-awareness fpr each.
2. Student sample:
This Boy’s Life and A Long Way Gone focus on a short time-frame, on certain conflicts, and on
why these events are memorable, but these are approached differently in each memoir.
This thesis is too vague and general. You need something of substance. Your thesis
states the obvious.
3. Student sample:
While they suffered very different experiences, both Tobias Wolff and Jack Gantos feel
similar effects from the traumatic experiences in their lives.
Read the above note. Your thesis suffers from the same problem.
4. Student sample:
The main character in both stories has different perspectives on life due to thier home life,
significant events that alter them or make them stronger, and similar evolution of character.
A phrasing issue; make this statement more active. There needs to be an argument,
not just a summary.
5. Student sample:’
Lisa and Toby Wolff both had hard lives growing up due to their parents and the constant
moving.
The above thesis is just a fact. You have to have some point or argument for the
thesis. It needs to answer the so what? question.
Read below:
Thesis: In the general outlines of its plot, in the
characterization of the protagonist, and in the development of
the alien creatures, George R.R. Martin's award-winning short
story "Sandkings" can be read as an ironic tribute to Theodore
Sturgeon's classic short story "Microcosmic God."
I have color coded the required elements as they appear in the above
thesis



dark blue for the works being compared
dark orange for the grounds for comparison
dark teal for the purpose of the comparison
First example: While the two memoirs are similarly set within the turbulence of post-World War
II and develop symbols, foreshadowing and key themes, they differ in their presentation of
conflict: Toby, from This Boy’s Life struggles with an internal question of identity, and Jiang from
Red Scarf Girl, with an external struggle against a government force, which lead to growth and
self-understanding.
You also want to avoid a thesis statement like this:
Spirituality means different things to different people. King
Lear, The Book of Romans, and Zen and the Art of
Motorcycle Maintenance each view the spirit differently.
Again, that says nothing that's not already self-evident. Why bother
writing a paper about that? You're not writing an essay to list works
that have nothing in common other than a general topic like
"spirituality." You want to find certain works or authors that, while
they may have several differences, do have some specific, unifying
point. That point is your thesis.
A better thesis would be this:
Lear, Romans, and Zen each view the soul as the center of
human personality.
Then you prove it, using examples from the texts that show that
the soul is the center of personality.